Topic : Is This Normal Social Discussion

What kind of idiot surgeon doesn't send you to PT or OT first to let them determine if you can or even should be walking?

Personally surgeons are my least favorite doctors, my kidney surgeon was an ass with a capital A.

I am sooo glad you are going to a new doc. And you keep going to new docs until you find one that isn't listening impaired.

Hugs,

~Ami

xoxo

Good point JP. I would just have to tell my new doc that sorry he isn't acceptable, so who is his second choice. Pfffttt...doctors are a dime a dozen and don't think for one minute only one is good at what he does. That just isn't true. He isn't helping you, so that is what matters. Who cares if he helps a million other people....you are paying for you. doh.

I went to an ob/gyn one time that my gp said was the 'best". That bastard made me cry, over charged me and when I called him on it he told me I had a bad memory. I pulled a paper from my purse and said "I don't have to rely on my memory, YOU wrote it down for me." He was livid. He did a uterine biopsy for me....omfg horrible painful procedure. Told me I was a baby for crying.

I was so upset, yet he was the 'best". The thought of seeing this asshat again made me ill. So I swallowed my pride and went back to my gp and told him that I could not see him again. He was a creep. My gp said "no problem at all, there are lots of good doctors in the world and the main thing is that you trust and have faith in yours".  He is soo right on that. I changed got a lady ob/gyn and she was the best doc ever. She also later called me into her office (you know the one with the desk and books and family pictures...her private office) and told me that I had grounds to sue the previous ob/gyn. (I did not tell her I had any problems with him.)  She said that he took seven cuttings for my biopsy instead of the customary 3. And she said there was no diagnosis to warrant seven. She called it abuse. I was blown away. I started crying and then told her the whole story about how he treated me. She was livid.

It was the fist time in my life I knew that a doctor can be an ass....just because he can. Later when his girls called me about my bill (I still owed him $350) I told her that I wanted her to lay my file on his desk and ask him to write off the amount. She laughed at me. I calmly told her to be sure and put in the note that I had been contemplating suing him for abuse. She didn't laugh then. I didn't tell her why, I just told her to leave my file with a note saying that. She said she would but it wouldn't get me out of the bill. She was mad and hung up on me.

I never heard from him or his office people again.

So while your new guy may like Dr. George, so what there are other doctors and you need to be with a surgeon you TRUST and LIKE.

Trust me they are a dime a dozen...no kidding.

Hugs,

~Ami

xoxo

Ok, I'm freaking out just a bit... Erin and I went to visit this other MT school that I'm interested in. I know that's the one I'll go to, if I go. It's got the oncology specialty and that's what I'm most interested in. But after we left there, I felt so weird, shaky and with my stonmach upset.  I met with a financial aid guy there, and we figured out that I could get about $9,000 in student loans, with the balance of $3,000 for tuition having to be paid in seven installments along the way. I figure I would have to borrow another $25,000 to cover living expenses for seven months.

So, now I'm jsut plain scared, and I'm trying to work through my feelings. I think it really just comes down to the fact that it's such a huge step - a humongous change from everything I've done in my life.  Borrowing the money is huge - although I'm confident I could manage my finances and get it paid back. I was never a science person, so taking anatomy and physiology is a bit intimidating, but I'm sure I could do that also. I wouldn't have to work, only concentrate on learning and studying - how hard is that? Still, it's such a tremendous leap of faith. I told Erin, it's like standing at the edge of a cliff, contemplating stepping off into thin air -- OMG! 

Being thrust into the realm of cancer treatments was scary - but I had no choice about that, I just had to deal with it as it came. But this takes a positive step into the unknown and I'm really going to have to work up my courage for that. I've gotten a lot of encouragement from people, however I think Ralph has his reservations. I know that he's just worried about me. But I can feel his hesitation when we talk about it. I told Erin today that I needed some courage and she went running off downstairs. Soon there was a knock on the door, and there was a note outside - "Would you like marshmallows with your courage? yes or no".  I answered yes, and in a few minutes she brought up a cup of tea, in which she told me she'd added a cinnamon stick, and a handful of marshmallows.  :-)

So, I know you guys will pump me up and i appreciate that.  Mostly I think I need to jsut process all of this for a few days. Oh shoot, let me tell you something else I'm contemplating -- yesterday was kind of a sucky day at work, and on the way home, it occured to me that I could borrow a little extra money, quit sooner and take the extra two months to get Erin and I moved down to Lakewood where the school is. I would LOVE to quit my job sooner than later! But now I'm backing off from that idea, because besides the idea of borrowing even MORE money, the idea of moving - even if I do have two months off to do it -- is even more overwhelming than quitting work and going back to school!  So I don't think I can handle that idea at this point.

JP - I hope that you get things sorted out and find doctors you can trust. To all the rest of you, I love you and think of you often. You are all in my prayers.

Twice in my life I have been overwhelmed, afraid of the unknown, shaky to the bone. Once when I bought our first home.....omg owing that much money scared me beyond sleeping. I walked the floor for days. I searched for help in the Bible.

A calm came over me and I knew my answer. I think the jitters are very normal when big changes are on the horizon. How sweet that Erin wants to help you with your emotions on this. WOW.

As for Ralph. Hmmm. Don't know what to say about that one. I'm disappointed in him to be honest. sheese it isn't like he is offering a better solution is it?  *meow*

The other time was when I decided to go back to school, it was when the first Gulf War started. I had been laid off from a very good job and I was distraught with fear that I couldn't get by on unemployment. Which was a pittance. I decided to go to school instead of hunting another job. A very hard decision because our standard of living dropped a lot. But I kept telling myself it is for the short run. I could see an end to it before I started. It wasn't forever. Two and a half years, that's all. The degree was going to be forever. =)  We struggled and it was hard, I'm not going to lie. But I look back and it was the best thing I could have ever done for myself and the boys.

Was I scared? Oh yes without a doubt. I had been out of school so long I didn't even know if I knew how to study any more. But it all came back, just like riding a bicycle, you don't forget how. The learning environment is an amazing empowering place. So good for the soul, not just the mind. And worrying about science....girlfriend I dreaded all the calculus I had to take. OMG dreaded it, I'm not a mathmatics person....I'm an arithmatic person (accountants are not mathmatics wizz kids they are arithmatic wizz kids!) Anyway economics is calculus and more calculus. Which in the end I learned to love!! At least while I was in the classroom. hehe 

I sat through many a little league game with a book on my lap studying. I was a better mother too. I was happy, my kids knew I was happy. It made a difference. Doing something for YOU also teaches them to take care of themselves and not sit back and bemoan the world. Instead grab it by the tail and do what you need to do!

You know it's ok to not have life so structured and read like an operations manual. ;)

As for the leap now. Are you saying the school is far enough away you are going to need to move closer to it? Not something you want to do after Erin starts back to school is it? Hmmm....I see what JP is saying. Makes sense. But I know me, I would be going now.

Look I truly believe that God guides us. Plans and ideas come to us because God wants us to have them to help guide us. We don't have spontaneous thoughts because we are so brilliant or omniscient, we have them because we were meant to have them. We were meant to consider the options that come to us. They are sent to us for a reason. Guidance comes in many forms in my opinion.

Ok so you know the answers....you just have to say them outloud. hehe

Hugs,

~Ami

xoxo

You guys are so great! I really appreciate your perspectives - both of you!

JP, I do agree with you, I think it's too soon to make the decision to just quit two months before I have to. Now if something else happens, and it turns out that I can borrow money at a lower rate than I expect and I can get more than I expect, and if the butterflies have settled down and I'm really ready to make the leap, then maybe I'll go for it. But I guess it's just as scary to think about giving up this house, as it is to give up my job -- More so! Because the house is my biggest security. And it never tells me I'm not working hard enough. Ok, at least it doesn't say so out loud. LOL

Erin starts school three weeks from yesterday. No way I could move before then. And I've talked to Erin - she's not completely against the idea of moving after school starts. In fact, there's a boy that she got to know right at the end of the school year, who we know is going to be living in Lakewood and we know which school he's going to. It's four miles from the MT school. She was embarassed at first - his name is Aaron, and the day after his first day there were rumors that he and Erin were "going out". I met him and he's a good kid, and the dimples don't hurt... Heehee  Anyway.... the school is about a 40 minute drive from here. Closer than where I work now, but I would be having to go five days a week.  It's a "con"  that I would have to give up this house and move to a smaller apartment. But the "pro" is that the differential between the rent I would receive here and the rent I would pay would put some extra money in my pocket. Of course, I run the risk of periods of vacancy, which would be a big ouch on my budget.

I can't blame Ralph. As he said the other night, it's a good sign that he worries about me. His "better" solution is for me to find another accounting job.  Remember, he's gone through all these crazy ideas with me -- I was going to go to school to be an x-ray tech, then I wasn't, and on and on. He knows that Erin relies almost solely on me, and I have to think of her first. Maybe he's a worrywart, but between his mom, his sister, his sons, he does a lot of worrying. Many times, when we talk on the phone, his first question is "What's wrong?" Does that make him a pessimist? We've talked about a lot of these ideas, and after really listenting to how I feel about my job, etc, he's been very supportive. Above all, he wants me and Erin to be happy, and I know he'll stand behind me. A couple of weekends ago, when I was expressing my anxiety about not knowing what to do to get out of my job (this was before I was thinking that MT school was a serious option) he said, "We're all here for you, we won't let you fall. I love you and you've got me, and you've got a great kid, and you've got the family [his family]. They love you you know? We'll all be here for you."  He has just been encouraging me to do my research, talk to people, find out everything I can about career potentials, etc. I know I can count on him.

Ami, thanks for sharing your experiences, it really helps. I do think it would be good for Erin if I did it. She has heard for at least the last year that I'm not happy with my job and it worries me that it will affect her perspective on what it means to be an adult - having a job you dislike, but not having a choice about doing it. I don't want her to approach her adulthood with that idea. She think it's cool that we would both be going to school at the same time, studying together and all that. Of course, she's told me that she'll help!! And she's not too upset about the idea of being someone I would practice on. Ralph doesn't mind that part either!  I do think it would be really good for me to get way outside the rut I'm in and push my mind and body to learn something new.

Ami, did you get a chance to send that article I forwarded to you? I'm going to post it below, in case JP or anyone else wants to read it. It's an article that was in "Massage and Body work" about four years ago, and references the school I'm hoping to go to, and the instructors that are still there. It's about the field of oncology massage. I sent this to Ralph and he thought it sounded very "daunting".  It is and not everyone would understand why you would want to work with cancer paitients, especially ones who are dying. But I think it would be very good for me.

Thanks for all your advice. I'll keep you up on what's happening.

[http://www.csha.net/global/docs/M&B-Oncology-07-05.htm]

I have to believe that you will find a doctor who understands your condition.  You've never been one to complain my friend, and when you do it's usually delivered with great humour and optimism.  The fact is, YOU CAN'T WALK!  And it's serious.  There's nothing funny about that. 

I first had symptoms of gout when I was in my mid-twenties, and having watched my father suffer through it I knew exactly what was happening to me.  Problem was, no doctor believed me.  After all, gout historically only surfaces in old men who drink too much red wine and eat tons of red meat - never in young women!  They wouldn't even run the uric acid tests and would only prescribe aspirin for swelling.  Ten years later, the gout had spread not just from the mandatory "big toe" but into my elbows and knees and ankles and other joints I didn't know existed.  There were days, even weeks, when I couldn't walk and my hands were so swollen...

I finally found a specialist in Rheumatology who was so angry, not at me, but at all of my previous doctors who had let me suffer this way for so many years.   She put me on the right meds to alleviate my pain but the damage to my joints is irreparable.  The aggressive meds have led to other problems - damage to my stomach and liver, seizures, teeth falling out, cataracts.   Alas, I am a classic case - it was printed up in the New England Journal of Medicine!  I will be forever known as "a twenty-five year old, female patient, presented with symptoms of..."

The point is - someone finally believed me.   Stand your ground.  Demand answers.   Do not go back to work.  Let others run around for a change.  Your health is more important than money.  Take this seriously and others will too. 

You may not be able to dance anymore, but you will always hear the music!  And hang onto that Mas guy.  He sounds like a keeper.

By the way, August 13th is when I go in for my eye surgery!  Finally.  Guess all of those phone calls I made to the surgeon about foot cream on my face and calling hookers at the passport office finally paid off - they got so tired of my silly stories that they called me when someone cancelled and immediately booked me in.  I'll be thinking of you!

Love ya'

Trace.