Topic : Is This Normal Social Discussion

Boy-ee, what nice weather we're having here!  I would never have predicted this, with all the fires, but the day we arrived, the delta breezes kicked up, pushe all the smoke out to the east and cooled things down.  I can't remember ever having a nicer day in the Central Valley in July.  Perfect, perfect.  And to think it was probably 10 degrees warmer in Denver, and pretty miserable.  I feel pretty lucky!

Wish I could say the same about how things are going with Mom, but it's tolerable so far, and I'm trying to stay cool about it, because we've got a ways to go before we get back home where I can breathe again.  Among other little digs, was the comment she made after I agreed to go have lunch with a friend and her parents, and then go along for her Mom's chemo treatment - about 30 minutes long.  Mom made it very clear that she had told people, and Expected, that anyone who wanted to see me outside the party should come HERE, rather than for me to go traipsing about visiting them.  Was it because I might not feel up to it?  No, "you've come out here to stay at my house and visit with me, and if you're going to take my car and be gone all the time, then what am I supposed to do?"  I was agog, that she would act as though we're not allowed to leave this house without her.  How depressing is that?  So, Erin and I ARE going to go see my friend's mother, and another friend is going to come her with her daughter briefly on Wed afternoon.  And I have one other friend and we have talked (and Mom knows this) about coming out to see her new home and meet her dog, but that has not been planned into the schedule yet.  As usual, Mom wanted to not try to do too much and just be able to relax, but she has SO many things that we must do.  Oh whatever.  I better not keep talking about it, or I'll start thinking I want to go home TOMORROW, and then I won't be able to bear being here another moment, and we have more than a week to go.  So, I'm just going to be Scarlet and say, I won't think about that until August, and just say... whatevah.

Miss you all.

Had to see how much catching up I had to do. Wasn't much, but I accidently wandered to the end of this boards posts and took quite a trip down memory lane with the posts from August 2005.

I even found JPs Bluebird and some instructions from Tap that maybe will help JP figure out how to get her little bluebird back with her posts. I miss him! And I have to kinda scratch my head for a second to recognize Janetpoo's posts without her birdie avatar.

Good luck JP!

Loretta, your vacation sounds like my dream vacation. We spent our honeymoon at Ocracoke Island in the Outer Banks and loved it, quiet, (though lots of tourists but still surprisingly quiet), oodles of gorgeous beaches, and we bicycled all over the sleepy little town. It was great and I want to go again soon. Not sure that will happen but it would be grand imo. Also visted Tybee Island for a quick run through when we were in Savannah for All-State and it made me want to come back for a stay. What is it about beaches?? I stand in the sand just looking straight out to sea and feel sure I have once upon sometime done this before watching for someone. It is a eery haunting kind of feeling to me.

Perhaps it's just meds. ;P

Funny thing is I get the somewhat the same feeling in the mountains. Like I know I once was here. So very odd. Raj and I went to Nickajack Dam and took John to hook up with his dad. He is with him for the next two weeks (possibly three). I usually spend the time he is with his dad in Ky visiting my mom but it just couldn't be managed this time so we met and did the drop off. Raj and I then spent the day at Lookout Mountain, an unbelievable view. We then prowled Chickamauga National Battlefield. It is so very hard to think of so many people being in one place and all the sadness there. Yet like the National Military Cemetery (went there too as my uncle and aunt are buried there) it such a reverent and holy place. Though it isn't anything you can touch actually, the feel of the time in history is tangible in some manner I can't explain.  History just does that to me.

It was fun, but I sure do miss John today. He had hardly been home for me to enjoy before he had to take off again. School is creeping up, he starts Aug 11, so with summer school he hasn't had and isn't going to actually get much of a break. The school systems I really do not feel do kids much justice. They certainly aren't any smarter for all the more time they spend in school than we did. Such a mess. =/

Janet, isn't a day when you feel normal amazing when you have been down and out?? It gives a flash of what life can (and hopefully will) be again!!! I have days I actually think "now this is it, I want this all the time". lol Don't stress over the dancing, it will be there when you and foot are ready to partay again!!! (((hugs)))

Trace, loved the men's room saga!!

Neecie, bless your heart it sounds much like my mom at times. When I was first traveling to Ky, my mom would get really perturbed with me that I would spend my time out visiting my friends. She would have made plans that I didn't know about and I would have made plans that she didn't know about. It was a point of contention at one point. So I know the feeling you are describing for sure.  Hang in there, I'm sure your mom doesn't want you wearing yourself out. And if it is like mine, I'm automatically 12 years old again as soon as I enter the door. lol

Too all I missed, hope your days are filled with fun!!!

Must get to work now, it is a Monday on a Monday. =)

~Ami

xoxox

First, KAK, Trace, JP and whoever I didn't say hi to last night, Hi!

Ami, we also spent some time in the Outer Banks on our honeymoon.  We had planned a wonderful tropical island vacation for our honeymoon.  The day before I was to make the payment to the travel agent I got to thinking.  I was looking at the dollar amount and it was pretty big.  We had the money but I finally came out and said it "why the hell are we going to spend all this money on 2 weeks when what I really want is a house".  Hubby agreed and the poor travel agent missed out on that sale.  We hoped in the car after the wedding with only a final destination on the table...Charleston.  We stopped whenever we felt the urge.  We saw more on that trip and learned more about each other, one of the things we learned was that we liked each other enough to spend that much time in a car together. 

I still remember the man who overheard us talking to the waitress about how we were on our honeymoon.  It was a roadside diner in the south, I think Virginia, when we asked for the check the waitress pointed to a man a few tables away and told us he'd already taken care of it.  He told us that he wanted us to have a great life together and to remember some good old fashioned southern hospitality.  Just thinking about him put a big smile on my face.

Anyway, the beach is my favorite place to be.  The sounds, the smells, the feel of the sand and the water.  When I was a teenager and could finally drive I would head to the beach and if something was troubling me I would tell it to the sea.  More often than not I would leave feeling much better.  It still does the same thing for me.  I am fortunate that I can go just about anytime, the beaches near me are not as amazing as the ones in Maine but I might also take them for granted.  We once lived about 2 hours from the nearest beach, it was much too far for me, I felt land locked.  Can't imagine how I would handle living in the middle of the country.

Hugs all

Oh and I've never regretted not going on the expensive island honeymoon.  That seemingly small choice we made landed us in a wonderful old farmhouse within 5 months of the wedding.  We were lucky enough to buy it, restore it and made a nice little profit to boot when we sold the thing. 

Or Mr for that matter, since I have no idea who it is that moderates us. I used to have the name Bluebird and an avatar of a bluebird. I got a new computer and when I tried to sign on as Bluebird this site wouldn't allow me to. Seems my friends, and of course myself, miss the old me and if there's anything you can do to help me get it back, it would be greatly appreciated. Or! If I could at the very, very least have the avatar put with my new name it would be good too.

Thank you so much for any help you can give me....

because reading your posts is giving me such a warm fuzzy feeling and I wanted you all to know I care very deeply about every single one of you. I am so blessed to have you in my life and I want you to know how much you are appreciated. *hugs*

The story of the guy buying breakfast gave me cold chills!!!! I love humankind!

I have sent a copy of your post to tech support. You can always try emailing them yourself by clicking on the HELP button located at the top right side of this page.

DrPhilBoard2

Poopy, I'm feeling very self-absorbed these days, and I don't much like it.  I only seem to talk about myself, and I hate that.  Maybe after Friday (the party) I'll be so tired of talking about myself to people, that I'll refuse to do it ever again.  I've read all of your posts, about Ami being sick, and JP's adventures at work, and Kelly's concern for Mark, and Trace's exhaustion and love, and the things she doesn't feel up to saying, and KAK's political fight... and I don't think I've responded to any of it.  But of course you know, I hope, that I care even when I don't have quite the energy to make a comment or offer some encouragement.  But gee, I have plenty of energy to write about myself!!

Have I mentioned before that when I use my Mom's computer, I have a terrible time, because the letters on about half the keys are worn off from all the typing she does?  I think I'm beginning to get better at it, but it takes a LOT of proofreading.

Today was the day -- it always comes in every visit with my Mom -- when I feel that my daughter and my mother will never be able to get along.  Can you even imagine that Trace?  It's a long story, but good grief, it's exhausting.  Erin does have her issues.  She gets over-stimulated and acts pushy, trying to get some attention or to feel that her opinions are being heard.  Mom gets offended.  Erin goes to bed and Mom gives me an earful about how frustrating Erin's behavior is and how "intimidated" she is by Erin.  Mom's convinced that Erin won't accept anything she cooks and so far has not cooked a meal.  The good part was, that I didn't get so upset as we discussed it tonight.  I just said, "don't be intimidated, do what you do, and if she doesn't like it, say sorry, that's the way it is.  That's what I do at home."  She seemed surprised that I don't or won't admit to cowtowing to Erin's every demand.  It's all just very weird to me.  Mom has no trouble jumping on Erin and telling her not to do something or whatever, but on the other hand, she seems perfectly willing to let Erin get away with anything, and then railing at me about how bossy and demanding she is, and accusing me of spoiling her.  Whatever.  i think things might cool down a bit when we get past this party.  It's a bit stressful on everyone...

Big sigh.  This too shall pass.  After this, we'll go home, and then Erin will be gone for nine days, and I can decompress.  It's really not that I have a problem with Erin.  I think she's special and unique and her passion for almost anything, while it can throw her into the world of "bossy", is a wonderful thing, and she just needs to learn to temper that so that she doesn't run people over in the process.

Oh, a good thing -- Erin has been wanting to learn to play cribbage.  Although I used to play, I could remember absolutely nothing about the rules of the game.  Mom remembered a lot, but not everything and we also had Hoyle's so we could begin to review the rules.  Cribbage is pretty complicated, but Erin did a great job picking it up, laughing at all of our corrections to the rules as we went along, and really showed that she could be good at it.  it was a fun time for all of us.  Next up is to teach Nana how to play Backgammon, which I recently taught to Erin.

Ami, you and I have talked before about our mothers, so I KNOW you understand.  I really appreciate just knowing that.

Poopy, I'm feeling very self-absorbed these days, and I don't much like it.  I only seem to talk about myself, and I hate that.  Maybe after Friday (the party) I'll be so tired of talking about myself to people, that I'll refuse to do it ever again.  I've read all of your posts, about Ami being sick, and JP's adventures at work, and Kelly's concern for Mark, and Trace's exhaustion and love, and the things she doesn't feel up to saying, and KAK's political fight... and I don't think I've responded to any of it.  But of course you know, I hope, that I care even when I don't have quite the energy to make a comment or offer some encouragement.  But gee, I have plenty of energy to write about myself!!

Have I mentioned before that when I use my Mom's computer, I have a terrible time, because the letters on about half the keys are worn off from all the typing she does?  I think I'm beginning to get better at it, but it takes a LOT of proofreading.

Today was the day -- it always comes in every visit with my Mom -- when I feel that my daughter and my mother will never be able to get along.  Can you even imagine that Trace?  It's a long story, but good grief, it's exhausting.  Erin does have her issues.  She gets over-stimulated and acts pushy, trying to get some attention or to feel that her opinions are being heard.  Mom gets offended.  Erin goes to bed and Mom gives me an earful about how frustrating Erin's behavior is and how "intimidated" she is by Erin.  Mom's convinced that Erin won't accept anything she cooks and so far has not cooked a meal.  The good part was, that I didn't get so upset as we discussed it tonight.  I just said, "don't be intimidated, do what you do, and if she doesn't like it, say sorry, that's the way it is.  That's what I do at home."  She seemed surprised that I don't or won't admit to cowtowing to Erin's every demand.  It's all just very weird to me.  Mom has no trouble jumping on Erin and telling her not to do something or whatever, but on the other hand, she seems perfectly willing to let Erin get away with anything, and then railing at me about how bossy and demanding she is, and accusing me of spoiling her.  Whatever.  i think things might cool down a bit when we get past this party.  It's a bit stressful on everyone...

Big sigh.  This too shall pass.  After this, we'll go home, and then Erin will be gone for nine days, and I can decompress.  It's really not that I have a problem with Erin.  I think she's special and unique and her passion for almost anything, while it can throw her into the world of "bossy", is a wonderful thing, and she just needs to learn to temper that so that she doesn't run people over in the process.

Oh, a good thing -- Erin has been wanting to learn to play cribbage.  Although I used to play, I could remember absolutely nothing about the rules of the game.  Mom remembered a lot, but not everything and we also had Hoyle's so we could begin to review the rules.  Cribbage is pretty complicated, but Erin did a great job picking it up, laughing at all of our corrections to the rules as we went along, and really showed that she could be good at it.  it was a fun time for all of us.  Next up is to teach Nana how to play Backgammon, which I recently taught to Erin.

Ami, you and I have talked before about our mothers, so I KNOW you understand.  I really appreciate just knowing that.

Hon, if you can't talk about you kinda what is the point? LOL Of course you should talk about you, we have wide shoulders for a reason silly goose! I can talk the weather to anyone, I can only talk about me to people I care about, who I know care about me. Voila` here we are Neecie!!!! So no worries at all. =P

You would think your mom would get used to Erin since this sort of thing happens nearly everytime they are together. I wonder, I don't recall you mentioning it when your mom was at your house though. Did they conflict there? I am just wondering if it is a territorial thing possibly? Along with just a personality blip.

My mother early on used to relish in telling me how I didn't discipline my kids enough, that I should let them get away with so much, that they talked to me disrespectfully, yadayada yada. I never understood the need for people to 'inform' me of my parenting mistakes. I cannot recall a day that I had the kahonees to tell someone out of the blue what their parenting mistakes were. If I ever do that to my children I want someone to pop me quick.

I think your mother like my mother is easily annoyed or perhaps is on edge when there are people in her home. My mom tends to magnify each little thing that doesn't meet her approval or understanding. She doesn't understand me letting my children have what is very close to an equal voice in the growing up. She has always thought it was wrong for me to give them that much control in their lives. They make their decisions for the most part, and right or wrong they have to deal and learn from them. I had the horrible fear of mama's boys....the urban myth that boys raised by single mom's are mama's boys just chaps my backside. Anyway I gave them too much voice according to my mom.

I know that you give Erin a lot of 'voice' in her life. That just isn't your mom and my mom's generation. It's a generation gap issue imo. Funny thing is it is likely your mom and Erin may be a like in many ways thus enters conflict also.  You are right tell your mom to do what she wants and stop worrying about if Erin will like it or not. She is allowed to not like something. Your mom is allowed to be free to do what she wants without fear of Erin disapproval. A situation that to me warrants no apologies from anyone. So what, someone doesn't like something. That's life and we can all be happy regardless. Erin has to learn that there will be lots of things in life she doesn't like, she also has to know the world doesn't tiptoe around her because it is Erin. I can't understand your mom worrying so, did she worry if you didn't like something when you were growing up? LOL I bet I know that answer without asking. ;)

Grandmas and grandchildren are funny critters. My mom lets my boys do things I would have gotten a thrashing for. Yet she used to criticize how I parented. Go figure. O.o

The gaming sounds like much fun! I never learned cribbage, and once upon a time knew how to play backgammon but couldn't begin to remember now. We were always canasta fans and played a lot of canasta when visiting relatives. I miss that, many good times when I was a kid! I always loved gaming with my great aunts and uncles and my mammaw. It made me feel so grown up and they treated me like I was. It was very special indeed. =)

You know if you lived there permanently they would all find their comfortable place, I think it is the temporary nature of visiting that creates some tension all on it's own. You are right this too shall pass. Embrace the fun, blow off the rest. =D

Hugs,

~Ami

xoxox