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Topic : 11/29 Out of the Doghouse

Number of Replies: 122
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Created on : Tuesday, November 21, 2006, 02:23:14 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Do you believe the saying, "Once a cheater, always a cheater"? Or can a two-timing womanizer change his ways for good? When Dyson last spoke with Dr. Phil, he stormed off stage after his wife, Rebecca, learned the truth about his recent affairs, just eight months after their wedding. Now, Dyson is back, ready to stay seated and learn how he can change his behavior, get out of the dog house and save his marriage. Then, Corey had the courage to face his revenge-seeking ex-girlfriend the last time he was on the show, but was unprepared for how the public and local media would respond to his story. Corey says his job as a firefighter was made more difficult when his dating behavior made the front page news. Now, Corey returns to show people that there's a whole lot more to him than his dating mistakes. Is it enough to save his reputation? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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November 27, 2006, 7:00 am CST

11/29 Out of the Doghouse

Quote From: anon_slc

There are families that are so destructive that the only option is for a person to get out.  Get out with the little bit of sanity you may have remaining.  Some of my favorite books which provide a great introduction into the subject of repeated infidelity and personality types most likely to cheat repeatedly are:      

     

Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward OR Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss

   

Malignant Self Love:  Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin (and Lidija Rangelovska)  

   

Get Me Out of Here:  My Recovery From Borderline Personality Disorder by Rachel Reiland   

    

The decision to divorce another person is never easy.  As painful as it may be, make a promise to yourself to leave so that you can begin a life of healing and recovery.  Leave so you can eventually learn to live a joyful and peaceful life.   

  

Hope it helps! 

 

I love Susan Forward's books. They are very helpful. 
 
November 27, 2006, 7:09 am CST

Cheating is a symptom

Cheating is just one symptom of the problem.  The problem may be a personal issue that the cheating person has, or it may be a problem within the relationship.  The actual act of cheating is not the original problem, again it is just a symptom.  So, if you fix/heal the problem the cheating will cease.  The saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" is often true because once cheating is exposed that is what is highlighted not any other part of the individual or relationship.  So the individual never gets to the root of the problem, and hence the cheating continues.  If people want to continue on in a relationship after a partner has cheated they need to be willing to look at what the true problem is in the relationship or with the individual who cheated.  It doesn't mean that the person who was cheated on doesn't have the right to be angry, hurt, etc... it just means to get past it they have to look deeper.  Thanks for listening.  Sheri Heflin, MA, LLP, NCHT
 
November 28, 2006, 4:28 am CST

Thank goodness

Quote From: wondergirl28

Once a dog always a dog. I was with one on and off for 12 years. The reason we always broke up was because he could not be faithful. He will always accept numbers from girls. Talk to girls at his job. This one girl was always there wait for us to break up so she can have him. Being a man he always allowed her to come in the middle of our relationship. Now that's old news, he's married now, but still hasn't change. When he's not  around his wife he calls me, still want to sleep with me,but I know not to do that. He's not worth that. So like  I said a dog will always be a dog.    

Thank goodness you got away from his cheating ways.  Most men that cheat on women are the ones that really have issues with women.  Instead of facing the real issues about why they use women they would rather escape the pain of confronting their bad behavior by using women for their own gratification. 

 

Although I do disagree with you that always a dog will always be a dog, if a man really wants help and seeks it he will find it.  We can't change our own behavior permanently.  The only person who can change us permanently is Jesus Christ. 

 

The sad part is that this dog you speak of will eventually be found out and he will lose everything and maybe that is when he will wake up and see how much damage he has caused to so many people.  Our Lord says in His word, "make no mistake your sin will find you out" and that is exactly what is going to happen to that dog you speak of.  God uses all kinds of circumstances to bring the truth to the light. 

 

I was in a similar situation as you, (many years ago) I had been dating this man who flirted with every woman he came in contact, his excuse... he just loved women.  Well I found out how much he loved women, he was cheating on me with his old girlfriend.  I broke up with him and immediately he went out and got married not with the girlfriend he was cheating on me with but someone new.  After he got married, he began calling me and wanting to just get together and talk.  I kept telling him to stop calling me, but he didn't.  He had been calling me for about a year and a half after he was married, the last time he called I told him if he called again I would call his wife and speak to her.  Well, he called again and I did just that I called his wife and you know I never heard from him again.  His sin found him out!  I don't know what happened to his marriage, but I am sure his new wife was very unhappy with him.

 
November 28, 2006, 11:37 am CST

11/29 Out of the Doghouse

If we all believed  once a cheater always a cheater - we would all be cheaters.  We have all made mistakes in one form or another. Is cheating any different than stealing or lying?  I don't believe so.  People can overcome any of these with the right help and an attitude of real repentance.  Don't let this statement take away your opportunity to forgive someone if you believe they are really trying.

 
November 28, 2006, 10:06 pm CST

WHO LET THE DOG OUT-WHO-WHO-WHO LET THE DOG OUT-WHO-WHO-WHO HAHAHA

boy oh boy i sure hope you dr phil give this walk out artist a wake up call, wow gods gift to women  hahahahahaha im goin to be sick!!!!!!!this woman is a glutton for punishment it would seem, so hunny GO LET YOUR DOG OUT YOU-YOU-YOUGO LET YOUR DOG OUT YOU-YOU-YOU, heheheheheh, ohhh well its her sack of rocks and she must tote them alone, if thats the best she can do well im happy for her
 
November 29, 2006, 6:32 am CST

A dog is a dog :)

Either someone CAN cheat or they CANNOT cheat. It has to do with moral character. All relationships have problems from time-to-time. All humans lust for someone else at least once during a relationship. But how one handles those IMPULSES is what defines him/her as a person.

 

My hubby and I have been married 17 years. We are the best of friends, lovers, etc.  We have two healthy, bright, compasionate children. We all attend mass weekly and spend LOTS of family time together. Both my husband and I would rather be together than to be with our friends (we do take part in separate activities at times, like shopping w/ the girls or golfing w/ the guys). However, we LIKE eachother and would rather spend most of our time together.

 

Hubby and I were cut from the same cloth. We come from non-divorced, religious parents who value God and marriage vows. When the going gets tough, we WORK on our problems and honor eachother and God.

 

The above has to do with CHARACTER, MATURITY and RESPONSIBILITY. I have no repect for "dogs" or the people they cheat with. There is NEVER a justification for going outside of one's marriage.....NEVER EVER EVER.

 
November 29, 2006, 6:35 am CST

Please stop the generalizing!

Quote From: jojobeaner

Its all about image.  Fire departments and police departments want to give the public that they have high morals, but in reality they don't.  If you could be a fly on the wall when the firefighters are in their down time at the station or when the police officer gets together with his buddies from work, your ears would be in shock. (speaking from the point of view of someone who has been behind the scenes) I am not surprised to hear that he is a firefighter. 

 

I am not saying that there are not good godly men who work as fireman or police officers, what I am saying is that these ones are in the minority. 

 

Many are like Corey, the difference is that they didn't have someone publicly pointing out all their shortcomings as he did, if they all did we would find out more than we would ever like to know.  Our confidence in the men who are supposed to protect and serve would be diminished. 

 

 

Talk about stereotyping and generalizing about PEOPLE. Shame on you!

 

My husband is a federal law enforcement officer. Do you also lump HIM in with all bad cops because the 1% of  bad cops make the news???????????????????? It just so happens he is a devoutly religious man who have loved me for over 17 years and is the best father anyone could have. He's also EXTREMLY honest and honorable.

 

You, my dear, have NO WAY of knowing how many good fireman or bad fireman they are, so PLEASE stop the unfair character assinations. You are NOT a fly on a wall:)

 
November 29, 2006, 7:22 am CST

OUT OF DOGHOUSE

 

  HE HAS THE INFORMATION HE NEEDS NOW TO WORK ON SELF IF HE SEES THE NEED, AND I FEEL THE LADY NEEDS TO MAKE THE RIGHT DISCISION FOR HERSELF TO STAY OR GO. THEY BOTH NOW KNOW WHAT THEY ARE UP AGAINST.

  I WISH ME AND MY HUSBAND COULD GO TO THE LAWLIS PEAVEY PNP CENTER, THEN MAYBE WE COULD UNDERSTAND OURSELVE, AND EACH OTHER BETTER.

  WORK ON THE INFO YOU GOT TO BETTER YOUR SELF.

 
November 29, 2006, 8:01 am CST

Oh Puleeeeeeze

Quote From: janiesmith

If we all believed  once a cheater always a cheater - we would all be cheaters.  We have all made mistakes in one form or another. Is cheating any different than stealing or lying?  I don't believe so.  People can overcome any of these with the right help and an attitude of real repentance.  Don't let this statement take away your opportunity to forgive someone if you believe they are really trying.

Everyone makes mistakes sure.  Cheating ONCE would have been a mistake this knuckhead has been in more beds than Sealy Postropedic.  This is a pattern of behaviour not a mistake.  Please don't confuse the two.

 
November 29, 2006, 8:07 am CST

Honestly, I feel sorry for both of these guys.

Honestly, I can tell you, I feel sorry for both of these guys. I know that Dyson has a problem, & maybe because that he's an sex addict, & quite honestly, he does need help for himself. He needs to change his ways, for his wife. Does he really think that those women that he's sleeping with care about him? Definitely not. Hopefully, he'll realize that in order to save his marriage. I don't know why he's got such a beef with Dr. Phil.

 

As for Corey, what his ex-girlfriend did was immature, & childish. To humilate him & embarass him in his hometown like this? I can't believe that she would have the nerve to do that to him. Corey should've found someone better his own age instead of a High-School girl who knows nothing about love. Hopefully, she will get what's coming to her in the near future. No one does something that obvious to ruin their lives like that! That's considered immature. If someone were to embarass me, I would angry as well!

 
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