Topic : 11/29 Out of the Doghouse

 

      I don't feel that someone's personal life has anything to do with his or her job. It dosen't 

     seem  that his personal affairs has affected his work, so  why should it even be an issue?

 

I want to say that even though I really don't agree with Dyson about his (or even MY!)  right to have sex with multiple partners in a committed relationshp (whether one happens to be male or  female), I think many of us are missing a big point here.......to me, the point is that he and his lovely wife are not just people......they're also SOULS.

 

And if a person believes ( as I do) in re-incarnation, things in THIS life can make a lot more sense than we usually get on  the evening news 

 

Who knows what we as indiviiduals might have done, or gone through in a past life in a different country? It might be very healing to think of our problems from that perspective.

 

Bless you all.........

Me.

 

 

I think the way that Corey was judged by his home town was awful! I thought Dr. Phil would have stood up for him more! He is a dating man and I dont feel that he is a pig at all! I actually think when he finds the right woman he will put as much pride into her as he does himself and his job! My brother in law is a Fire Fighter and they dont just hand you that job! You have to do alot of hard work and earn alot of respect from co workers. He is not just a good looking model on the firetruck! Or he may be but he deserves to be there! How dare anyone critisize this man that is making that sacrifice for his community. He is not out scouting teens! It is obvious this just happened to him. He was obviously used to dating more mature women who would have dumped him or who would have reacted different. I dont think he is right to date all of these women at the same time but I also dont think his intent was to search for a young niave girl. I have been cheated on and gone through a divorce and then went through the dating scene and I just dont think he is any different looking for the right girl! I wish him the very best and I truley hope other women watch this and realize what a honorable man he is to his community and how when you are with a woman and the right one she will be so lucky as to have a dedicated man like Corey. Again I dont think it is ok to date teens or multiple women but I also think that the women should be responsible in who they pick to date.

for getting up and walking out on you on his first visit, but it didnt happen, oh well and as far as corey goes, wow i cant amagine why the town he lived in would ever put his story on the front page of the local news paper, hell corey it would seem to me you really got off easy, damn boy if i had been having sex with a 17 year old child when i was 35, have you got any idea where my butt would be even unto this day? well ill tell you i would still be in prison if an angrey parent hadent gotton hold of my ass first!! man your one sick puppy to go on the dr phil show and tell the country you were having sex with a 17 year old girl cause she has a hot body, well my sick pup i havent seen any 17 year old girls who dont look really hot, but my little man there still children at age 17, and you were 35, dont tell me you didnt have any idea what yiou were doing was wrong, and to show a tape of firefighters in action to try to justify your actions was really a low blow to the entire country,that in no way makes what you did wright, even when a 17 year old wanted to have sexwith you , my man you knew better she didnt!!!!, and if the state you live in allows old men to have sex with children than that state undermines every thing dr phil stands for as far as protecting our children,i just hope dr phil thinks what you did was wrong as well, and he really needs to find that girls parents and see just where in the hell they were while all this was going on, buddy there are laws aganst what you did, and i cant for the life of me understand why in the hell you can get away with it just becouse your a fireman,the laws of man must change, for there is no true justice like this!!!!!

you are sooooo much better off with out him and if you had children togather there probley much safer with out him around, hes a very sick minded person to go with a 15 year old child, count your blessings that hes nolonger a threat for you and your children if you have any<

Re: Corey
People! People!  Let's review the actual issue (there's only ONE):

He didn't tell her the truth. There was no meeting of the minds in their relationship.  It happens all the time.  It's a terrible thing to do in a relationship and I hope Corey chooses to conduct himself better in the future.  All the other stuff that folks are going on about is no relevant.  He's single, she's legal.  'Nuff said.

The fact that he's a firefighter, or a butcher, a baker, a candlestick maker - who cares? Admittedly, it was not his finest hour.  But who among us has a life that could stand up to this kind of scrutiny?  All of the upset is more about our need to believe that firefighters are somehow "better" than the rest of us.

The fact that she is so much younger than he is - none of our business.  For whatever reason, they were attracted to each other.  How many of us have tried, and failed, to explain to our loved ones how we chose our lovers?

The rest of this message is for Corey:

I thought I recognized you - you don't live very far from me.  I think you are in a calendar I bought once.

Seriously, all of those rationalizations you made - what happens when people get under those bright lights at the studio?  Does your intelligence evaporate?  "She approached me", "She's legal", "She's very mature for her age" - ARRRRGH!!!!   You were not honest with her about the nature of your relationship(s).  Period.  No matter how mature she is, she can't make an informed decision about the relationship, and whether she wanted to be part of it.  If the best you can say about your conduct is "it's not criminal" - well, that's pretty pathetic.

What really bugged me was the "baggage" remark. A woman with what you call "baggage" (i.e. life experience) can spot you and your games a country mile away!  We would either send you packing or demand that you shape up.  Where do you think that older women GOT the baggage Corey?  From guys like YOU!!!!  By your actions in this relationship you, Corey, have created ANOTHER woman with baggage!

Some dating advice:  try dating women in their 40's.  They tend to be at the lovely stage of life where they've dealt with their baggage and are ready for a healthy, honest relationship!

 Oh Honey!  Please be kinder to yourself and your poor little body.  You should not need this man in order to survive physically or emotionally.  You have to seriously consider why your sense of worth depends on this man.  It is not healthy.  What else is important to you?  Did you have low self esteem going into this relationship and think that you had to have your husband in order to validate you?  If there is nothing else about you that merits your existence then work on that first. 

 

My marriage has survived this very thing.  There are two important differences in my marriage though.  First, my husband really understood what he had done to me.  He got it and he didn't tell me to just get over it after six months.  Your husband needs to understand that sometimes it takes years to earn trust again after infidelity.  It took me years to trust again, but I can honestly say that I do.  My husband's affair was ten years ago though.  And while you are right it will never be the same again, that doesn't mean that it cannot be great.  The other important difference was that I knew I could survive with or without him because there was more to me than just my value as his wife and the mother of our children.

 

Finally, once you think that he gets it, and you are certain that you can survive without him, then you can make the decision to move on.  Yes you can.  It has only been four months for you and I can promise you that it will not always be this painful.  Remember to breathe deeply.  You can decide to forgive him and do so even when you don't feel forgiving.  You must stop obsessing over his affair and spending all of your time and energy dwelling on all of the dirty little details.  You will never be able to recover if you continue this and this only drags you through this pain over and over again. You cannot dwell on it enough to ever be able to understand what he did.  He was just immature, selfish and lacked impulse control-(see this was not about you and it wasn't about the other woman)  He can overcome these shortcomings given time and patience if he puts forth the effort.  You will survive this too Dear so please give yourself a break and treat yourself more kindly.    I am pulling for you and I believe that you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for.

Why on earth, in the name of all that is good and holy, is she with him??  She's intelligent, pretty, seems like a nice person - talk about insecure.  I'm still trying to figure out what's so "attractive" about him.

 

I live by one simple philosophy:  if I have to wonder about what he's doing when I'm not with him, for ONE minute, it's not worth it.  Life is too short to worry that my husband is running around nailing everything with a pulse.  Have a little self-respect.  Any woman, or man, deserves better than that.