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Topic : 11/29 Out of the Doghouse

Number of Replies: 122
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Tuesday, November 21, 2006, 02:23:14 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Do you believe the saying, "Once a cheater, always a cheater"? Or can a two-timing womanizer change his ways for good? When Dyson last spoke with Dr. Phil, he stormed off stage after his wife, Rebecca, learned the truth about his recent affairs, just eight months after their wedding. Now, Dyson is back, ready to stay seated and learn how he can change his behavior, get out of the dog house and save his marriage. Then, Corey had the courage to face his revenge-seeking ex-girlfriend the last time he was on the show, but was unprepared for how the public and local media would respond to his story. Corey says his job as a firefighter was made more difficult when his dating behavior made the front page news. Now, Corey returns to show people that there's a whole lot more to him than his dating mistakes. Is it enough to save his reputation? Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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November 25, 2006, 9:59 am CST

Re: Corey

I missed the first show with Corey but went back and had a look.  I was surprised to read that he was a firefighter.  My boyfriend of 3 1/2 years has started a career in firefighting since we met, and as a result I've seen him go through the application process at a couple different city departments. Fire departments generally attempt to hire people with high morals and integrity (these days anyway), not to mention men and women who are respectful of others.  Not sure how Corey squeeked through, but ya I'd guess that this might be giving him a bit of trouble at work, since this coverage would be pretty embarrassing for his hall.  Maybe I'll watch Tuesday and see what he has to say, but unfortunately for him, you don't get a second chance to make a first impression, and I'm not sure who taught him that disrespecting women was okay (maybe daddy) but maybe he should work on that if he'd ever want to have a lasting relationship.
 
November 25, 2006, 11:54 am CST

REPEATED INFIDELITY - MALE & FEMALE

There are families that are so destructive that the only option is for a person to get out.  Get out with the little bit of sanity you may have remaining.  Some of my favorite books which provide a great introduction into the subject of repeated infidelity and personality types most likely to cheat repeatedly are:      

     

Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward OR Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss

   

Malignant Self Love:  Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin (and Lidija Rangelovska)  

   

Get Me Out of Here:  My Recovery From Borderline Personality Disorder by Rachel Reiland   

    

The decision to divorce another person is never easy.  As painful as it may be, make a promise to yourself to leave so that you can begin a life of healing and recovery.  Leave so you can eventually learn to live a joyful and peaceful life.   

  

Hope it helps! 

 

 
November 25, 2006, 12:47 pm CST

11/29 Out of the Doghouse

Quote From: missme

I missed the first show with Corey but went back and had a look.  I was surprised to read that he was a firefighter.  My boyfriend of 3 1/2 years has started a career in firefighting since we met, and as a result I've seen him go through the application process at a couple different city departments. Fire departments generally attempt to hire people with high morals and integrity (these days anyway), not to mention men and women who are respectful of others.  Not sure how Corey squeeked through, but ya I'd guess that this might be giving him a bit of trouble at work, since this coverage would be pretty embarrassing for his hall.  Maybe I'll watch Tuesday and see what he has to say, but unfortunately for him, you don't get a second chance to make a first impression, and I'm not sure who taught him that disrespecting women was okay (maybe daddy) but maybe he should work on that if he'd ever want to have a lasting relationship.

Its all about image.  Fire departments and police departments want to give the public that they have high morals, but in reality they don't.  If you could be a fly on the wall when the firefighters are in their down time at the station or when the police officer gets together with his buddies from work, your ears would be in shock. (speaking from the point of view of someone who has been behind the scenes) I am not surprised to hear that he is a firefighter. 

 

I am not saying that there are not good godly men who work as fireman or police officers, what I am saying is that these ones are in the minority. 

 

Many are like Corey, the difference is that they didn't have someone publicly pointing out all their shortcomings as he did, if they all did we would find out more than we would ever like to know.  Our confidence in the men who are supposed to protect and serve would be diminished. 

 

 

 
November 25, 2006, 7:17 pm CST

No shame

I fear for Corey's girlfriend, who seems to have shockingly low self-worth.  I went through a divorce from a man who considered himself extremely sexy and virile.  He had the same very cavalier attitude about fidelity and low concern level for my feelings as Corey has in his situation.

I know you can't compare people - Corey is an individual who may be waking up to the reality of how unacceptable his behavior is for a long-term or marriage relationship.   In my experience, however, his lack of shame and sympathy for his girlfriend's pain does not bode well for their future.

 
November 26, 2006, 11:15 am CST

Once a Cheater ALWAYS a Cheater.....

   

    I caught the last part of the show when this guy was on, and I must say  I was not impressed.  He is the typical ego-maniac who feeds off of other women's weaknesses, mainly his girlfriend/wife (I didn't get that part).  She, sadly enough, has feelings of low self worth, and no confidence in herself whatsoever.  He has beaten her down emotionally until she just sits there and takes it.  I went through a relationship similar to this one, and finally had the courage to GET OUT!!  These type men WILL NEVER CHANGE unless they get down on their knees and ask the good Lord to help them!  That is the ONLY way!  Counselling, etc. will not do any good--I know...been there done that. He needs to calm it down and realize that he is not "all that".  He will end up a sad lonely individual in the long run.  She needs to leave the relationship and find herself, heal, and find someone who actually loves HER and not THEMSELVES!!

 
November 26, 2006, 12:22 pm CST

Cheaters Always

I have gone with a man for twenty years of dating. He never wanted to get engaged, live with me or marry me; he just wanted to go on dating for the rest of our lives.  During the time I was dating him, he went back to his country twice and came back married.  I was also told that while he was going with me he was cheating with another woman but he hid it so well.  Like you said, the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.  He is now married again, but I live in another state.  I spoke to one of his neighbors in the building where he lives, she said she thinks he has another girlfriend on the side.  He calls me from time to time to say hello and that he still cares.  ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER.  Girls don't believe that man!!!
 
November 26, 2006, 12:38 pm CST

Always a dog

Once a dog always a dog. I was with one on and off for 12 years. The reason we always broke up was because he could not be faithful. He will always accept numbers from girls. Talk to girls at his job. This one girl was always there wait for us to break up so she can have him. Being a man he always allowed her to come in the middle of our relationship. Now that's old news, he's married now, but still hasn't change. When he's not  around his wife he calls me, still want to sleep with me,but I know not to do that. He's not worth that. So like  I said a dog will always be a dog.    
 
November 26, 2006, 3:44 pm CST

oh please!

First off....Corey and Ashley were made for each other as were Dyson and Rebecca. Secondly, I don't care what happens in these particular couples lives, I guess that's why I didn't watch the shows. I am thinking they aren't going to change each person knows the other and how the other works and still chooses to be with them. I mean give me a break....yes, once a cheater always a cheater. Past behavior shows future behavior..the only way behavior changes is if the cheater actually cares enough to change, and then to me, it's too late b/c they have already broken the commitment, so maybe it would mean something to the next relationship.
 
November 27, 2006, 1:08 am CST

same ol same ol

My partner cheated on me three years ago and it had been going on for at least two years. He claims he has changed and maybe he has. He says he would never cheat again because he does not ever want to cause me the pain again. We have stayed together and to be honest, whether he has remained faithful or not, the trust is broken and nothing he does brings back what we once had. Once you cheat on your partner, you break the bond and it cannot be restored, repaired, forgotten etc.

 

The thing with these men is that they just dont 'get it'. In his mind his past is behind him and he has moved on. Regardless of how sincere he is now, he can never erase from my memory what he did.

 

I never saw the first show but I will watch the second. Dont trust this man, it doesnt matter if he changes because the memory of what he did will always remain.

 
November 27, 2006, 5:05 am CST

they will only find another way !!

If you are'nt married, GET OUT NOW !!!  A woman is worth more than she thinks she is.

My husband has repeatedly cheated and pushed me down to the point where I have felt no self worth, no emotions, nothing, for anyone, or anything, for 34 years. I allowed it , I did not know how to get out  , had kids, and no money.  we've gone thru 3 years of marriage councelling because "he wanted to  save our marriage".  He is an abusive jerk!! He has made me disabled, he controls all finances, and who my friends are. Who I can see, or not.   I am planning to change this up.   but really,  DO YOU WANT TO LIVE THIS WAY ???

They only find other ways around getting caught. once caught, they feel guilty, tell you they are sorry, tell you they will change, be sweet a few months, and THEN IT STARTS ALL OVER!!  Just in a different way as in , more careful, NOT to get caught!  The guy knows what he did wrong the last time, and won't make the same mistake twice.  They will only find another way !

 
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