Topic : 11/30 Spoiled and Entitled

Well, for all those spoiled brats....  Money does not grow in trees. It's very hard for us parents to bring food to the table and to put a roof over our children's head for the first 18 years of their life, or even longer.  I am a 52 yr old mother of a 19 year old and I have spoiled her as much as I have been able to.  She is my only child and I want to give her everything I did't have, and more.  But I would never go out and sell my body or shop lift to give her what I don't have.  My daugher knows that when I say no, I mean NO.  She understands that I can't afford what she wants or needs, if there's no extra money after the bills have been paid. 

For those parents who don't want to or know how to say no when it's not possible.... Just say NO!!! - It's more important to give your children values and teach them how to become productive and successful adults.  We can not let our children take over our role as parents or control us.  Our children are intelligent people, They are full of energy, but they don't know what to do with it..... Let's show them how to set goals and dreams.  Let's teach them how to love and respect themselves and others.  Some times using taugh love it's the only way.   We are supossed to be strong and inforse rules for them, because they need them.  Whithout that, they get lost, and they can not find their way.  We are thier guides until they can think for themselves and can make their own desitions.  We are responsible for what our children become as adults.  Oh yes, and they will come back later to tell us,  "Thank you" or "It was your fault"

I am very proud of myself as a mother.  I know have done a good job at raising my daughter.  There is nothing she does not share with me or advice she does not ask of me before she makes an important desition.  She loves me and respects me, and tells me that I'm her heroe .  I have always made sure that I am her mother first and when she needs me, I am her best friend.  Good luck to all those parents and children that are having difficulties at home.

God Bless

CB

He had Toys -r-us in his room clothes from Macy's gym shoes not under $50 most $100 .Money everyday for school even extra money to buy other kids a pop that didn't have the money ....he never shared ! He lied all the years in school every time he got in trouble it was the Teacher didn't like him .I stayed up many YEARS doing home-work till 11 pm or later .He grew up rebellious spoiled rotten from grandparents I was always competing with ,always . Wanted him to love me .All I asked of him was do good in school .Well everything I did for him was for no good .Nothing good came of me buying him everything .I bought my-self ...shoes from dollar general store for $3.00 Because I was afraid He would need something or I just didn't have the money because I spent it all on him !I just wanted him to LOVE me ! ...To make a long story short ... He is a Looser big time Looser .I raised a Big Time Looser that will never have anything ...because He thinks we should give it all to him .He Knows how to play Mind Games real good ..He is a professional now because he has turned 21 .A Professional Looser ! To hurt me for not buying him a car he joined the Guard then the Army and was going to Iraq .But he couldn't get the older men to buy him Beer .So he wanted out and cried and went a-wal or over the wall ...what ever they call it when you run away from the Army.So he had to check into a nut house to get certified nuts so he could get out ....the Army men figured him out and wanted to get rid of him .The Major told my husband he wouldn't send him to Iraq because he might get a bullet in his head and He was afraid one of his own men might do it ...why??? Because they didn't trust him ...I cant even explain his personality . He was on meth when he was in the guard ...and he is an alcoholic ..Now he has 50 personalities .He told this Old woman that we chained him to the bed and he had to doo doo on himself because we wouldn't let him out of his room !!! OM GOD! He would of moved some place else the first time he doo dooed on him self ! He had this old woman crying she told me !!!! I haven't even confronted him about this ...And I cant because he is nuts . Matter of FACT I took his door knob off because he would lock himself in his room all the time ... I have had teachers and students moms tell me WOW is he spoiled ! I thought he would grow up go to college and make good money really be some one ! He cant even hold a job ..A really BIG girl married him and they had a baby .He cant keep a job !The whole town laughs at him when he married this woman and he is really small ..Looks that way standing next to her .Its just not natural looking . He use to go out with girls who where his size .But I figured it out its because she had a place and a car and she bought him beer .And then I got to know her ....she is just like him she is nuts to ! So the reason for this post is see what happens when you spoil a kid rotten ....I made a Monster ! And that stresses me out big time ... And yes because of him My husband lost his job and we almost lost our house we lost our health insurance and I got sick and almost died I was in bed for a whole entire year .He never ever cared ..ever..So when your kids on Meth don't take off work and look for them ...Because you will loose your job and maybe your life ... And when we found him ...he put his Dad in Jail ! I will never forget that ever I never cried so hard ...I never even knew anyone in jail !!! I had to and see my hard working husband in orange and talk behind bars a CAGE !!!! All because we loved him ! Gave him our hearts and souls !So now my husband has to drive 200 miles a day to go to work because its the only job that pays what he was making .We have had it so hard and we have worn out a car since .... then ! I ate salmon patties every other day for 3 years ! I have learned my lesson ...I don't even want any kids in my home .I want nothing to do with his kid and never will .I got burnt and I cant forget I forgive and it hurts so bad to for -give ... But like I say I will not have anything to do with his Kids ! Never ..I just cant I have a phobia now .I am tired of being used and being lied about and people looking at me who really don't know .. I have had people really give me strange looks and after that old woman told me what he was saying OM GOD ! There's no telling what people are thinking ... I want to move so far away from here and never look back ... And I don't want to leave a forwarding address ...Matter of fact I have been looking at OTHER Countries to move to ... So don't spoil your kids or step kids cause you want LOVE and such ....You will just be digging YOUR own grave and theirs to .I regret raising him I wish I never even seen him ... So next time you go to the store and your kids there to and they pitch a fit remember what I said and what happen to me .I am just now getting to feel better after being sick it took 4 whole LONG PRAYING CRYING TO JESUS YEARS for me to get better ! I did so much crying .its just not worth it I have aged 10 years and my hair turned really Gray .....All because of him ... DON T spoil kids ... or you will pay for it sooner or later and they pay to because we didnt say NO! He was my step son ... not natural born ...just said this so you know all who have step children ..dont spoil them ..Be the wicked step parent ..or just dont be ! Let some one else raise them ...its just not worth it !

When I was raising my 2 children, I decided not to tell them that they could not have something they wanted.  Instead, when they asked me for something, I would ask them if they had that much money and if so, I would help them buy it.

At age 4 and 6, they wanted a Nintendo game.  I asked them if they had the money which they didn't.  We went to a store to find out how much one was and I thought that, that was the end of the discussion.  However, they started getting up early before school (and preschool) to walk around our house and pick up empty bottles and cans.  We lived across the street from a store where they could go and cash them in for 5 cents each. 

The store clerks told me that they could count money and knew exactly how much they should received from their cans.  Other neighbors were so impressed that they would throw bottles and cans in our yard at night so the kids could get up and get them.  Foresters working in the woods often picked up empties and let the kids get them out of the back of their pickups (parked across the street from our house)..

Within one month, the kids had enough for their Nintendo and I drove to the nearest store (one hour away) to help them make the purchase.

I  often came up with jobs around the house to help them earn extra money .  The day my 12 year old son mopped the kitchen floor was interesting.  He didn't want anyone to walk on "his" floor at dinner time because he said that we would get it dirty.

Later, in high school, my son painted the outside of the garage twice and my daughter stained the deck and house trim to earn the extras.

In college, after her freshman year, my daughter declared that she would not return without a car.  She didn't even bother to ask me to buy it.  Instead she got a day job at a shoe store followed by a night job at a filling station.  Several days each week, she went with no sleep, but she went back to school with her car (used) which I helped her buy but did not use any of my money.

This is not a new concept.  This is the way my family raised me and it is the way my grandfather raised my father.

In high school.

As for designer clothes, I told each child that they got $200 to buy fall school clothes.  They could buy one pair of expensive jeans or several pair of cheaper ones.  I didn't actually give them the money, I ran a tab for each and went with them to buy the clothes and had them try them on to see if they really fit.  They both learned that they wanted to have more clothes than to have an expensive one.