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Topic : 11/30 Spoiled and Entitled

Number of Replies: 158
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Tuesday, November 21, 2006, 02:25:13 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
It's holiday time again, and parents everywhere are figuring out how they're going to afford what's on their kids' Christmas list. Theresa is a single mother who is extremely stressed out because she says her 17-year-old daughter, Bailie, is spoiled. Bailie expects her mom to buy her new clothes, a computer, purses -- much more than Theresa can afford. Theresa says that Bailie even leaves notes around the house saying, "Clean my room!" How has Theresa, who's unemployed, been able to keep up with Bailie's demands? She reveals a dark secret that she's been keeping from everyone, including Bailie. And what does Bailie want most from her mom that she's never gotten? Then, 24-year-old Katie says that she's always been handed everything she wants, and if she doesn't get her way, she begs and whines to get her dad to foot the bill. He still pays for her gas, insurance, furniture and clothing. Now, Katie says her 4-year-old daughter is growing up to be just like her, and it's Grandpa’s fault. Plus, Dr. Phil and Robin have signed on to be the national spokespeople for Toys for Tots. To kick off this year's holiday toy drive, they head to Texas Motor Speedway to cheer on the UPS Store/Toys for Tots racing team. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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November 29, 2006, 7:06 pm CST

Lazy in school? Dreamjob? Not gonna work.

Quote From: mrmonnin

What I am completely horrified is that parents who give these children any request and then wonder why they are who they are.  My neice get anything she want and truly believe that a career as a massage therapist and a nail technician will provide the living that she deserves.  When I challenge her to show me a B in freshman level social studies, she breaks down in tears because she is an "artsy" person and doesn't need to use her mind.  She uses her hands.  I fear that she will perpetuate her mother's legacy of a child out of wedlock.  It is like watching a wrecking train. What is truly tragic is what the baby will be subject to.
Why yes, because we all know that massage therapists and nail technicians are not required to know shiznit.

I know a girl like that, she gets spoiled and believes she can make it by quitting school and becoming a tattoo artist.  I'm trying to find some time to talk to her because I am a professional artist and lord knows I'm not a millionaire.

It is true I am an artsy person and I also work better with my hands but I also believed I needed to study even if I wasn't going to use that stuff later.  I thrive in trying to improve what skills I lack in and by not trying hard enough in school, your niece is selling herself short.  She's gonna hit a bleepin' wall when she goes out in the real world with little skillsets and realize the salon isn't gonna give her the job on a silver platter.

I see it like this, if you do poorly in school, the job industry is not interested in you. You didn't bother to work hard enough in class, you won't work hard enough at work.

Also, for curious people, I'm working at a bakery WHILE I'm a professional artist. Make yourself live first, then work on your dream career. It's called starting at the bottom of the ladder, spoiled teens.  I know so many cousins who can't grasp that concept.

There was also a comment earlier about a little girl who refused to wear nothing but designer clothes.  My cousin Suzie was like that. She actually upturned her nose to a pair of pants my grandmother was buying for her because they weren't expensive enough.

She got an earful from me when she got home.  I made her look at the label of my jeans (Tommy Hilfiger) and asked her if she wanted a pair like that.

"YES! They're designer! They must have cost 100$!"
"25¢ at the Church. Go get yourself a pair."

I mean damn, I'm not saying her mother raised her bad, because she's much better behaved now even for a 16 years old, but to refuse something because it's too cheap? Trust me, when you get an appartment, you'll be looking for the cheaper pants.

Now for you...
Don't break a sweat over it. I know it's really bothersome to see a kid go to hell and not being able to do anything about it. I could get away with the earful on Suzie cuz we're close liek sisters and that other girl because her father asked me as a professioal artist, but I also see a lot of lil cousins being spoiled beyond belief but I just shut my mouth on those. This is what I think about my aunts and uncles:"You need my help, you come to me. You don't, well, enjoy your Frankenkids."
 
November 30, 2006, 4:25 am CST

Gaming systems! Rrrrrrrrr!

Quote From: ceildh1

And this is the reason I hate shopping, listening to the tantrums and WHINING of these little darlings, because they can't have what they WANT RIGHT NOW.

I think though many parent way too much from guilt, my question is, if you are providing for them with food clothing and shelter and some toys and treats, why do you feel guilty ?  I have yet to hear of a child Dying from NOT having the latest gadgets or designer clothes, why put yourself in the poorhouse for something your child will ignore soon after Christmas, or better yet, break before January ?  I don't get it.

My kids don't do without, don't get me wrong, but if I can't afford it, I tell them "NO" , someone should call the authorities for that, but I REFUSE to pay $750 or more for some game consol ( a woman I know bought one on e-Bay for  $1500, because her son would just DIE if his cousin got one and he didn't, one for the medical journals), a laptop for school, okay, but don't expect too much else.

Here's a gift, put away the PALM PILOTS, BLACKBERRIES, CELLPHONES and that other stuff, and walk around the neighbourhood with your kids looking at Christmas lights ( that's pretty secular I guess ) turn off the TV and play boardgames or heaven forbid, just TALK, find out what's going on in their lives instead of buying them off, you know what ?They'll still LOVE you, and for taking time for them they might just LOVE YOU all the more.

Something to consider.

 

Sick and tired of those!  Every dang year its some new game system costing an arm and a leg.  This year its the new Nintendo Wii system, Playstation3, and some stupid DSlite thing.  How do I know all of this?  Cus I have kids!  *rolling eyes*

 

I have to admit that during the holidays I do want to give my kids what they want.  I dont know many moms who dont feel that way.   But for Heaven sakes!  If I bought the 2 systems my oldest kids wanted, it would cost me over 600 bucks for TWO GIFTS!  Just dont think so!!!!  I told all my spoiled heathens "NO GAME SYSTEMS!"  My daughter, who was pushing for that DSlite(whats the difference between that and a DS?  Its smaller?  180 bucks for the exact same thing she already has except its smaller???  *rolling eyes again*)  pouted around for about 2 days.  That was all I could stand!  Put my foot down and told her if she didnt knock it off there would be hell to pay!  She knocked it off.  At least shes smart enough to know im serious! 

 

 Next its my oldest.  Ok... this kid is almost 19!  Almost 19, a straight A student, acing all his college courses, and he isnt smart enough to grasp that there is NO WAY im shelling out 400 bucks for some stupid new Wii system???  What exactly are they teaching these kids anyways?  (sorry!  just a lil rant!  *embarrassed face*)

 

And you know whats really disheartening?  This isnt just my kids.  My girlfriends kids, my sisters son,  ALSO my next door neighbors kids,  are pulling the same exact thing on their mothers!   SHEESH!    My girlfriend caved.   My sister caved.  Dont know about my next door neighbor yet. 

 

Im seriously wondering if im gonna be the only mom who stood her ground.   

 

 

 

 
November 30, 2006, 5:47 am CST

All I have to say,

Quote From: ceildh1

And this is the reason I hate shopping, listening to the tantrums and WHINING of these little darlings, because they can't have what they WANT RIGHT NOW.

I think though many parent way too much from guilt, my question is, if you are providing for them with food clothing and shelter and some toys and treats, why do you feel guilty ?  I have yet to hear of a child Dying from NOT having the latest gadgets or designer clothes, why put yourself in the poorhouse for something your child will ignore soon after Christmas, or better yet, break before January ?  I don't get it.

My kids don't do without, don't get me wrong, but if I can't afford it, I tell them "NO" , someone should call the authorities for that, but I REFUSE to pay $750 or more for some game consol ( a woman I know bought one on e-Bay for  $1500, because her son would just DIE if his cousin got one and he didn't, one for the medical journals), a laptop for school, okay, but don't expect too much else.

Here's a gift, put away the PALM PILOTS, BLACKBERRIES, CELLPHONES and that other stuff, and walk around the neighbourhood with your kids looking at Christmas lights ( that's pretty secular I guess ) turn off the TV and play boardgames or heaven forbid, just TALK, find out what's going on in their lives instead of buying them off, you know what ?They'll still LOVE you, and for taking time for them they might just LOVE YOU all the more.

Something to consider.

 

Aman! Why buy someone else a pool when you can buy your own! Tommy and all the other name brands have enough money in their pockets, they don't need mine.

 

Thats my two cents.

 
November 30, 2006, 6:06 am CST

way to go dad

Quote From: greggy757

I am a single Father of two teen boys. I have provided a decent life for myself and my boys. I let them know that we will not be buying a bunch of junk for Christmas this year. My oldest boy was fine with it, but my youngest who is 13 felt opposed to the idea.

I told my 13 year old that I understood how he felt. I went on to say that it didn't matter. It was a decision I made and I am sticking to it.

Children should not run the show. They are to follow the rules and guidlines set by the parent. It is enough to provide for them all year long. But to put yourself thru the stress of buying gifts for Christmas is not smart.

My boys and I will attent a Christmas morning church service. Afterwards, I have signed us up to serve mealsata homeless shelter in Norfolk, VA. I want my children to be givers. They get enough stuff all year long. Christmas will be a day for them to focus on giving to others.

Children will be what you raise them to be. Parents should put their foot down and be parents, and stop being punks and whimps.

 You are doing the right thing and one day your kids will either tell you that or show u by their actions...me and my husband raised 4 kids and the kids did't get alot but we always reminded them about what christmas was really all about...and they always wanted to do for other people and now that they are grown they are still doing for other people...and you are so right when you said parents being punks and wimps, 'when my kids didnt get their way or what they wanted they would get mad. but that was ok with me cause I always figured if they were mad at me or their dad that we were doing our parenting job...keep up the good job and you will have very good and standup young men that you can enjoy....
 
November 30, 2006, 7:42 am CST

Stand Firm!!!

Quote From: momisme2

Sick and tired of those!  Every dang year its some new game system costing an arm and a leg.  This year its the new Nintendo Wii system, Playstation3, and some stupid DSlite thing.  How do I know all of this?  Cus I have kids!  *rolling eyes*

 

I have to admit that during the holidays I do want to give my kids what they want.  I dont know many moms who dont feel that way.   But for Heaven sakes!  If I bought the 2 systems my oldest kids wanted, it would cost me over 600 bucks for TWO GIFTS!  Just dont think so!!!!  I told all my spoiled heathens "NO GAME SYSTEMS!"  My daughter, who was pushing for that DSlite(whats the difference between that and a DS?  Its smaller?  180 bucks for the exact same thing she already has except its smaller???  *rolling eyes again*)  pouted around for about 2 days.  That was all I could stand!  Put my foot down and told her if she didnt knock it off there would be hell to pay!  She knocked it off.  At least shes smart enough to know im serious! 

 

 Next its my oldest.  Ok... this kid is almost 19!  Almost 19, a straight A student, acing all his college courses, and he isnt smart enough to grasp that there is NO WAY im shelling out 400 bucks for some stupid new Wii system???  What exactly are they teaching these kids anyways?  (sorry!  just a lil rant!  *embarrassed face*)

 

And you know whats really disheartening?  This isnt just my kids.  My girlfriends kids, my sisters son,  ALSO my next door neighbors kids,  are pulling the same exact thing on their mothers!   SHEESH!    My girlfriend caved.   My sister caved.  Dont know about my next door neighbor yet. 

 

Im seriously wondering if im gonna be the only mom who stood her ground.   

 

 

 

You are NOT the only one!! I had to tell my 10 y/o in no uncertain terms, NO cell phone and NO own TV (We'd never see her if she had the latter!).

 

As far as the newest game systems (PS3, Wii) go, maybe next year (when the supply will be better), and they could (horrors!) SHARE one as a "family" item? Since when does each child need his/her own system at $400-plus a crack, in addition to $40 or more a pop for the games??

 

As to the rhetorical "What are they teaching...", it's a matter of aggressive marketing and targeted advertising that (I'm convinced) gets worse every year.

 
November 30, 2006, 7:50 am CST

I used to think I spoiled my daughter....

But now I'm pretty sure I must not.  She is ten, and gift giving times are frustrating because she rarely has anything she wants that she does not have, but she is not a designer label kid (more like a sparkly sweatshirt kind of kid).  When she asked if we could have a bigger house and I said we couldn't afford the taxes if we bought a bigger house now, she said she'd save her money to help pay for a second level on the house we have now.  She has now saved $300.00 towards her goal. :~)

 

I was thinking that because she always had everything she wanted (in her opinion) she must be spoiled, but maybe she just understands that you don't need everything to be happy.  How'd I manage that without trying?  Can we bottle it?

 
November 30, 2006, 7:54 am CST

To: Dr. Phil

Hi. I'm not always going to be around and I have two autographed pictures of Earl Holliman supporting Toys for Tots that were my mother's. It'd be nice for them to end up in hands that appreciated them. So, perhaps, someone in New Orleans, that's rebuilding, might want since Earl Holliman is from Louisiana "or" Toys for Tots might or even y'all since are supporters of Toys for Tots. I think two Earl Holliman pictures supporting Toys for Tots autographed in 70's when my mother worked for Aetna Insurance. Aetna Insurance and my mother both were always great supporters of Toys for Tots. Perhaps, mother supported Toys for Tots so enthusiastically since our Christmas, after a GREAT tragedy when I was five, was courtesy of Salvation Army after my disabled veteran dad called them. I still remember those toys, only three left Salvation Army said when delivering unwrapped in a plain brown cardboard box: rubber horse shoes, silly putty and a pictorial Black Beauty book that sparked my love for horses... I slept with that book. God Bless Y'all and Toys for Tots and all those who participate (givers and receivers) A LOT.
 
November 30, 2006, 8:14 am CST

dr phil ive had to tell my child NOOOO many times

and i still have to even today as i sit and type this message out  lol, seems im better at saying no than i am at saying yes i guess, but after todays show, i know what i want to do, i want to become a farmer!! and i want to plant and grow me a 50 acre field of those little hair patches, wow i never knew just how much those were worth, to heack with growing corn and beans and cotton, lol<>
 
November 30, 2006, 8:24 am CST

You are not alone

Quote From: momisme2

Sick and tired of those!  Every dang year its some new game system costing an arm and a leg.  This year its the new Nintendo Wii system, Playstation3, and some stupid DSlite thing.  How do I know all of this?  Cus I have kids!  *rolling eyes*

 

I have to admit that during the holidays I do want to give my kids what they want.  I dont know many moms who dont feel that way.   But for Heaven sakes!  If I bought the 2 systems my oldest kids wanted, it would cost me over 600 bucks for TWO GIFTS!  Just dont think so!!!!  I told all my spoiled heathens "NO GAME SYSTEMS!"  My daughter, who was pushing for that DSlite(whats the difference between that and a DS?  Its smaller?  180 bucks for the exact same thing she already has except its smaller???  *rolling eyes again*)  pouted around for about 2 days.  That was all I could stand!  Put my foot down and told her if she didnt knock it off there would be hell to pay!  She knocked it off.  At least shes smart enough to know im serious! 

 

 Next its my oldest.  Ok... this kid is almost 19!  Almost 19, a straight A student, acing all his college courses, and he isnt smart enough to grasp that there is NO WAY im shelling out 400 bucks for some stupid new Wii system???  What exactly are they teaching these kids anyways?  (sorry!  just a lil rant!  *embarrassed face*)

 

And you know whats really disheartening?  This isnt just my kids.  My girlfriends kids, my sisters son,  ALSO my next door neighbors kids,  are pulling the same exact thing on their mothers!   SHEESH!    My girlfriend caved.   My sister caved.  Dont know about my next door neighbor yet. 

 

Im seriously wondering if im gonna be the only mom who stood her ground.   

 

 

 

My kids pulled the shopping ads from they Thanksgiving paper and began to circle what they want.  2 of them came to the kitchen and asked - hey mom, we shouldn't circle video games cause you'll never buy them, right?

We've never bought a game system and never will.  The kids know it, but they ask every year and we let them know we haven't changed our minds. 

 

This is our personal decision, we are confident in ourselves and our decision, so we'll stick to it.

 
November 30, 2006, 8:33 am CST

Strong Parents and grandparents.

We as parents and grandparents have to be strong and teach our children at an early age when to say "no."  I'm raising my 2 granddaughters 7 yrs and 5 yrs old.  Believe me I know how to say "no" to them.  They're not going to get everything and do what they want.  I do spend quality time, show them a lot of love, etc. I'm teaching them there is certain boundaries, to follow rules, pick up after themselves, using manners, etc.  There's at times they can act up, but I do put them in a time out to get themselves together and we talk about it afterward.  I mean what I say, and say what I mean.  Children do need discipline, boundaries, responsibility, love, nurturing, safe place to be, etc.  When they're older they will thank you for being their for them and teaching them to be responsible grown adults .      
 
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