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Topic : 11/30 Spoiled and Entitled

Number of Replies: 158
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Created on : Tuesday, November 21, 2006, 02:25:13 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
It's holiday time again, and parents everywhere are figuring out how they're going to afford what's on their kids' Christmas list. Theresa is a single mother who is extremely stressed out because she says her 17-year-old daughter, Bailie, is spoiled. Bailie expects her mom to buy her new clothes, a computer, purses -- much more than Theresa can afford. Theresa says that Bailie even leaves notes around the house saying, "Clean my room!" How has Theresa, who's unemployed, been able to keep up with Bailie's demands? She reveals a dark secret that she's been keeping from everyone, including Bailie. And what does Bailie want most from her mom that she's never gotten? Then, 24-year-old Katie says that she's always been handed everything she wants, and if she doesn't get her way, she begs and whines to get her dad to foot the bill. He still pays for her gas, insurance, furniture and clothing. Now, Katie says her 4-year-old daughter is growing up to be just like her, and it's Grandpa’s fault. Plus, Dr. Phil and Robin have signed on to be the national spokespeople for Toys for Tots. To kick off this year's holiday toy drive, they head to Texas Motor Speedway to cheer on the UPS Store/Toys for Tots racing team. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More November 2006 Show Boards.

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November 30, 2006, 8:37 am CST

11/30 Spoiled and Entitled

Quote From: bactphd95

You are NOT the only one!! I had to tell my 10 y/o in no uncertain terms, NO cell phone and NO own TV (We'd never see her if she had the latter!).

 

As far as the newest game systems (PS3, Wii) go, maybe next year (when the supply will be better), and they could (horrors!) SHARE one as a "family" item? Since when does each child need his/her own system at $400-plus a crack, in addition to $40 or more a pop for the games??

 

As to the rhetorical "What are they teaching...", it's a matter of aggressive marketing and targeted advertising that (I'm convinced) gets worse every year.

LMAO!  Oh my!  I forgot about my 8 year old asking for a cell phone,  too!  Course, hes far easier to deal with.  Hes still young and doesent harrass me the same way as the 16 and (almost)19 year old do.  But even if he did, NO WAY am I giving him his own doggone cell phone at 8 for Pete Sakes!   

 

It IS nice to know im not alone.  In a sad sorta way.  tehe  Im glad to know there are other moms  fighting it out in the trenches over, as you say, the aggresive marketing and targeted advertising.  I think you are dead on that every year it gets worse!  *sighs*

 

No worries!  Im standing firm.  After saying "600 DOLLARS FOR TWO GIFTS?!?!"  I just dont know whats left.  Other then a resounding "NO!"   that is.     ;) 

 

 

 
November 30, 2006, 8:37 am CST

People spend all they have because they want to, not because the kids need it or even want it badly

Quote From: faeryedark

 i see what you're saying but, even when you can give them things why give them so much? We started early laying down. Our kids  know they can't always have what they want. It doesn't matter if we could afford it. It doesn't matter if all their friends have it. They don't always get what they want. They need to know the value of a dollar and learn good stewardship. We as parents don't always get what we want.. why should our kids? We put some back against the lean times and we give to people who don't have much

When I have  a litttle money, I don't spend it all - I pay ahead on monthly bills, buy some stock, or give to charity.  When my kids get gift money, they don't spend it all- part goes to church, part goes to savings for themselves, part goes to savings for others, and  part they spend just for the fun of it.

 -Spending all you have when you have it doesn't teach kids responsibility. 

 
November 30, 2006, 8:44 am CST

11/30 Spoiled and Entitled

Quote From: momisme2

Sick and tired of those!  Every dang year its some new game system costing an arm and a leg.  This year its the new Nintendo Wii system, Playstation3, and some stupid DSlite thing.  How do I know all of this?  Cus I have kids!  *rolling eyes*

 

I have to admit that during the holidays I do want to give my kids what they want.  I dont know many moms who dont feel that way.   But for Heaven sakes!  If I bought the 2 systems my oldest kids wanted, it would cost me over 600 bucks for TWO GIFTS!  Just dont think so!!!!  I told all my spoiled heathens "NO GAME SYSTEMS!"  My daughter, who was pushing for that DSlite(whats the difference between that and a DS?  Its smaller?  180 bucks for the exact same thing she already has except its smaller???  *rolling eyes again*)  pouted around for about 2 days.  That was all I could stand!  Put my foot down and told her if she didnt knock it off there would be hell to pay!  She knocked it off.  At least shes smart enough to know im serious! 

 

 Next its my oldest.  Ok... this kid is almost 19!  Almost 19, a straight A student, acing all his college courses, and he isnt smart enough to grasp that there is NO WAY im shelling out 400 bucks for some stupid new Wii system???  What exactly are they teaching these kids anyways?  (sorry!  just a lil rant!  *embarrassed face*)

 

And you know whats really disheartening?  This isnt just my kids.  My girlfriends kids, my sisters son,  ALSO my next door neighbors kids,  are pulling the same exact thing on their mothers!   SHEESH!    My girlfriend caved.   My sister caved.  Dont know about my next door neighbor yet. 

 

Im seriously wondering if im gonna be the only mom who stood her ground.   

 

 

 

I never even had the nerve to even ASK my parents for any of these things! LOL..maybe that because I grew up extremely poor. We always had a nice Christmas, my parents were smart about it. but the fanciest thing I ever got growing up was a $30 Karaoke machine when I was 14!
 
November 30, 2006, 8:54 am CST

dr phil

it was a very heart warming experance to see you and robin giving your suites and time to toys for tots and wow already yours has a bid of over 10k wow, i cant touch that wish i could but i cant afford that i fing my self telling my self NOOOOO,  boo hoohoo but im happy to see people biding like they are on it i guess ill just have to do as i always doand go but toys at wall mart take them home and wrap them up real pretty and tag them with a removable tag letting the guys and gals who deliver them to the people they give them to know weather its a boys toy or a girls toy, so the parents can put the proper tag on the toy, i think you will surprise yourself this year dr phil,you have reached more people than even you thought were possable, god bless you and may i add,damn good job sir<>
 
November 30, 2006, 9:00 am CST

11/30 Spoiled and Entitled

Quote From: purplepenny

I never even had the nerve to even ASK my parents for any of these things! LOL..maybe that because I grew up extremely poor. We always had a nice Christmas, my parents were smart about it. but the fanciest thing I ever got growing up was a $30 Karaoke machine when I was 14!

Well see there?  You remember you always had a nice Christmas!  I think that is the most important thing.  :)

 

 

 

 
November 30, 2006, 9:18 am CST

Same here!

Quote From: momisme2

LMAO!  Oh my!  I forgot about my 8 year old asking for a cell phone,  too!  Course, hes far easier to deal with.  Hes still young and doesent harrass me the same way as the 16 and (almost)19 year old do.  But even if he did, NO WAY am I giving him his own doggone cell phone at 8 for Pete Sakes!   

 

It IS nice to know im not alone.  In a sad sorta way.  tehe  Im glad to know there are other moms  fighting it out in the trenches over, as you say, the aggresive marketing and targeted advertising.  I think you are dead on that every year it gets worse!  *sighs*

 

No worries!  Im standing firm.  After saying "600 DOLLARS FOR TWO GIFTS?!?!"  I just dont know whats left.  Other then a resounding "NO!"   that is.     ;) 

 

 

I'm going through the same thing here.  How pathetic - it never stops.  Last year, among others (including a great week holiday in Las Vegas to see all the Christmas lights), we all got cell phones - great family tool - we love being in contact through calls and text messages, however, it costs $200 a month on top of the $80 a month land line phone.

 

Now my 14 yr old wants only "three things Mom" - an XBOX 360 - $500 , an IPOD like his sisters $180 and a paint ball gun $250.  My daughters list is kinder - there's only like 50 small things including the new IPOD (hers is 3 months old but there's a smaller one now).

 

The thing is we are all my kids have.  No other family.  We have never had help in this area - we were Santa and family all wrapped up.  Everyone else we knew had grandmas and grandpas - most with several different sets thanks to remarriages, etc.  And everybody bought a ton of stuff and my kids had to be able to have a good Christmas too.  We've had to compete with this crap of everyone going beserk at Christmas... and this will be the 16th year of it. 

 

Now the hard part is we are truly blessed to be able to actually afford it.  So therein lies the problem.  I CAN afford it.  Both my kids are great, down to earth, achievers in school (for the most part) my son is in the drama performance tonight.  My daugter just came back from a leadership conference (for handpicked teens in two provinces).  They don't appear to have bad attitudes like spoiled or anything.

 

But its been -25 this week and I saw many down-and-out people shivering under thin blankets and I could be sick.  I am really struggling here.  A big part of me wants to take the money and as a family give it someone less needy.  I mean my kids get it good every day of the year like someone else said.  What a great idea to give back on that one day.  I am sick of the commercialism and why can't I space out the things I buy, over the year.  Why should i buy in to this crap in December EVERY YEAR.  Sheesh.  I am being used by the big commercial marketing gurus. 

 

Whatever.... just had to vent I guess - and now I have to go into town to meet a girlfriend for breakfast and a day of shopping... because.... my GOODNESS tomorrow's December already and well Christmas is ALMOST HERE..........  AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhHHHHHHH

 

 

 
November 30, 2006, 9:37 am CST

11/30 Spoiled and Entitled

Quote From: momisme2

Well see there?  You remember you always had a nice Christmas!  I think that is the most important thing.  :)

 

 

 

Yeah I agree. And it wasn't about gifts...there are a handful of gifts I remember specifically in my child hood. (When I was 12 my little brother saved his snow shoveling money to buy me Paula Abdul's "Forever Your Girl" tape...LOL...I screamed and gave him such a big hug it knocked him over LOLOLOL I will ALWAYS remember that! He got me the CD 2 years ago, that causes a HUGE laugh..LOL)

I DO remember the general atmosphere and the excitement of having a special family day of fun and food and laziness and spending the day in our pajamas....I hope I can give my daughter that same feeling and those same kinds of memories.
 
November 30, 2006, 9:42 am CST

11/30 Spoiled and Entitled

Quote From: mauilover2

I'm going through the same thing here.  How pathetic - it never stops.  Last year, among others (including a great week holiday in Las Vegas to see all the Christmas lights), we all got cell phones - great family tool - we love being in contact through calls and text messages, however, it costs $200 a month on top of the $80 a month land line phone.

 

Now my 14 yr old wants only "three things Mom" - an XBOX 360 - $500 , an IPOD like his sisters $180 and a paint ball gun $250.  My daughters list is kinder - there's only like 50 small things including the new IPOD (hers is 3 months old but there's a smaller one now).

 

The thing is we are all my kids have.  No other family.  We have never had help in this area - we were Santa and family all wrapped up.  Everyone else we knew had grandmas and grandpas - most with several different sets thanks to remarriages, etc.  And everybody bought a ton of stuff and my kids had to be able to have a good Christmas too.  We've had to compete with this crap of everyone going beserk at Christmas... and this will be the 16th year of it. 

 

Now the hard part is we are truly blessed to be able to actually afford it.  So therein lies the problem.  I CAN afford it.  Both my kids are great, down to earth, achievers in school (for the most part) my son is in the drama performance tonight.  My daugter just came back from a leadership conference (for handpicked teens in two provinces).  They don't appear to have bad attitudes like spoiled or anything.

 

But its been -25 this week and I saw many down-and-out people shivering under thin blankets and I could be sick.  I am really struggling here.  A big part of me wants to take the money and as a family give it someone less needy.  I mean my kids get it good every day of the year like someone else said.  What a great idea to give back on that one day.  I am sick of the commercialism and why can't I space out the things I buy, over the year.  Why should i buy in to this crap in December EVERY YEAR.  Sheesh.  I am being used by the big commercial marketing gurus. 

 

Whatever.... just had to vent I guess - and now I have to go into town to meet a girlfriend for breakfast and a day of shopping... because.... my GOODNESS tomorrow's December already and well Christmas is ALMOST HERE..........  AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhHHHHHHH

 

 

I'm a 28 year old woman...I have an ipod that my husband bought me with a work bonus he got. It's now over 2 years old. It acts up sometimes...it's scratched up. It's not a fancy one with video or a color screen....but I love it and when I use it it reminds me of what an amazing country I live in where I can have such an amazing item in my possession...that, even though it's not perfect, and even though it's buggy and broken a bit...it's still about a million times MORE than my African counter-part who has to worry about her children dying of starvation and AIDS.

Maybe you should tell your kids that!
 
November 30, 2006, 10:06 am CST

single mom raised 3 daughters

  i just want to say I have no right to judge this mom and they way she raises her child but I just want to share what I think ,at the age of 30 I was alone to raise my daughter with no help from their father  they were 8,10 and 12 at the time I worked 60 hrs a week and was trying to to raise them with good morals and the understanding that you must work for what you want in life and that you could be anything you want to be if you applyed yourself. Christmas was a hrd time of the year for us as I did not have alot of money I had alot of bills and a house to pay for at time we were so broke that I would make bread by hand so that we would have something to eat I remember one time my youngest daughter wanted a new pair of shoes for a sport she was playing I wanted to buy them for her but all I had was enough money at that time to get grocies some ppl might think that what I did was wrong and I should not have done it but here is what I did she was 10 at the time ........I told her that she had 2 choices we could take the money and get the shoes or we could eat that week ..................it was up to her ...............we ate I know that maybe that was a hard lesson but she need to understand the real world and how it works I don't think I did any damage to her she is a very sucessful woman at 24 now she is very careful with her money pays her bills on time and is on of the most responsible children i have and I think that being honest with you chrildren and explaining that life may at time not be so easy and that money is something you earn not something you are just givin .....that is just my thought about the whole thing. I also want to say that not all the time were hard we had some good time as well . many great christmas as well!!!
 
November 30, 2006, 10:17 am CST

11/30 Spoiled and Entitled

Quote From: momisme2

Sick and tired of those!  Every dang year its some new game system costing an arm and a leg.  This year its the new Nintendo Wii system, Playstation3, and some stupid DSlite thing.  How do I know all of this?  Cus I have kids!  *rolling eyes*

 

I have to admit that during the holidays I do want to give my kids what they want.  I dont know many moms who dont feel that way.   But for Heaven sakes!  If I bought the 2 systems my oldest kids wanted, it would cost me over 600 bucks for TWO GIFTS!  Just dont think so!!!!  I told all my spoiled heathens "NO GAME SYSTEMS!"  My daughter, who was pushing for that DSlite(whats the difference between that and a DS?  Its smaller?  180 bucks for the exact same thing she already has except its smaller???  *rolling eyes again*)  pouted around for about 2 days.  That was all I could stand!  Put my foot down and told her if she didnt knock it off there would be hell to pay!  She knocked it off.  At least shes smart enough to know im serious! 

 

 Next its my oldest.  Ok... this kid is almost 19!  Almost 19, a straight A student, acing all his college courses, and he isnt smart enough to grasp that there is NO WAY im shelling out 400 bucks for some stupid new Wii system???  What exactly are they teaching these kids anyways?  (sorry!  just a lil rant!  *embarrassed face*)

 

And you know whats really disheartening?  This isnt just my kids.  My girlfriends kids, my sisters son,  ALSO my next door neighbors kids,  are pulling the same exact thing on their mothers!   SHEESH!    My girlfriend caved.   My sister caved.  Dont know about my next door neighbor yet. 

 

Im seriously wondering if im gonna be the only mom who stood her ground.   

 

 

 

Do you know that the Wii system is really $250 (unless you're talking with games, that comes to around $400 on what you just said)? And that the DS lite is $130? Playstation 3, however, stands at $500 for the core, & $600 for the premium. If you would've gotten a Premium PS3, plus a DS lite, & a Wii, it would all come up to $980. With tax, you would be paying a little over $1,000. And that's without games, & such, just for those two home console systems, & a handheld alone. Now, that's kind of ridiculous! People are going to just have to put your foot down like you just did, & tell them, "NO!". How are kids going to function out in the real world if they don't learn how to do things for themselves, & pay everything for themselves? If they don't like what you hear, tough. They just have to get used to it. I'm very ashamed at parents who spoil their children. As long as the spoiling continues, these children will never learn anything in life.
 
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