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Topic : 11/30 Spoiled and Entitled

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Created on : Tuesday, November 21, 2006, 02:25:13 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
It's holiday time again, and parents everywhere are figuring out how they're going to afford what's on their kids' Christmas list. Theresa is a single mother who is extremely stressed out because she says her 17-year-old daughter, Bailie, is spoiled. Bailie expects her mom to buy her new clothes, a computer, purses -- much more than Theresa can afford. Theresa says that Bailie even leaves notes around the house saying, "Clean my room!" How has Theresa, who's unemployed, been able to keep up with Bailie's demands? She reveals a dark secret that she's been keeping from everyone, including Bailie. And what does Bailie want most from her mom that she's never gotten? Then, 24-year-old Katie says that she's always been handed everything she wants, and if she doesn't get her way, she begs and whines to get her dad to foot the bill. He still pays for her gas, insurance, furniture and clothing. Now, Katie says her 4-year-old daughter is growing up to be just like her, and it's Grandpa’s fault. Plus, Dr. Phil and Robin have signed on to be the national spokespeople for Toys for Tots. To kick off this year's holiday toy drive, they head to Texas Motor Speedway to cheer on the UPS Store/Toys for Tots racing team. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More November 2006 Show Boards.


 
idamag
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December 7, 2006, 9:10 am PST

age and maturity has nothing to do with it

Quote From: bactphd95

...on the age/maturity/situation of the child in question, whether a full-blown explanation of the family finances is appropriate (I'm not so sure for a kid younger than about 12 or 13).

 

Perhaps a pre-set spending limit for the post-Santa kids, without a detailed discussion of finances, is a better way to go. When I was about 10 or 11, my dad lost his job after a shakeup at his employer's, and this occurred in the fall. Needless to say, money became tight, and I was certainly aware of it. My parents' solution that year (and every year thereafter) was to give us the Sears wish book and say, "OK, pick what you want, up to X limit." It made us think VERY carefully what it was we really wanted, because that limit seemed to get hit really fast!

When payday came when my children were little, they were asked if they would staple the check copy to the statement to be filed. As they got older, I let them file. It didn't damage them, but made them responsible. You don't have to hit them over the head with the facts. If they deal with them this way it rubs off on them.

 

I would rather do business with kids raised this way than those who were sheltered from reality.
 
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mtmom7628
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December 7, 2006, 10:09 am PST

11/30 Spoiled and Entitled

Quote From: idamag

When payday came when my children were little, they were asked if they would staple the check copy to the statement to be filed. As they got older, I let them file. It didn't damage them, but made them responsible. You don't have to hit them over the head with the facts. If they deal with them this way it rubs off on them.

 

I would rather do business with kids raised this way than those who were sheltered from reality.

I agree with you.  My children are aware of our finances, and they are a lot more appreciative when they do get something.  They realize the money spent to buy what they wanted wasn't just laying around, and we probably gave up something else to get it for them.  I believe the younger a child is when you start teaching them about finances, they better off they will be when they get older.  For one, I don't use credit cards.  I have one major credit card that is used only for reservations and such when you have to have one.  If we don't have the money available to us to buy it now, we wait and save.
 
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adrienne143
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December 7, 2006, 4:01 pm PST

from a teens prespective

I am a 17 year old girl from a small town in missouri. i can really relate to this episode. i am just like that girl. i want everything. everything i want, i get or if i don't all hell breaks lose. i dont listen to the word no. hello. i am 17. what i want i should get.

it's not my mom's fault. i don't get everything i want. but most things. i dont know.

i guess i just basically wanted to say i agree with the girl on the show. i understand where she is coming from. high school sucks. do you know how i would be treated in i showed up in walmart jeans and tee-shirt. i would be treated horribly. i would be made fun of. that is horrible. alot of people dont understand that some of the things we need as teenagers is NECESSARY.

 
 
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faeryedark
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December 7, 2006, 6:08 pm PST

11/30 Spoiled and Entitled

Quote From: adrienne143

I am a 17 year old girl from a small town in missouri. i can really relate to this episode. i am just like that girl. i want everything. everything i want, i get or if i don't all hell breaks lose. i dont listen to the word no. hello. i am 17. what i want i should get.

it's not my mom's fault. i don't get everything i want. but most things. i dont know.

i guess i just basically wanted to say i agree with the girl on the show. i understand where she is coming from. high school sucks. do you know how i would be treated in i showed up in walmart jeans and tee-shirt. i would be treated horribly. i would be made fun of. that is horrible. alot of people dont understand that some of the things we need as teenagers is NECESSARY.

 

  I'm sorry, but there is nothing wrong w/ thrift stores or consignment shops. Lots of cool clothes that are still in style.. name brands too.

That said, you shouldn't be worried about being teased..be a leader not a follower. If your friends are that shallow  you need to lose them.

I'm glad to be my own person always have been always will
 
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mtmom7628
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December 7, 2006, 7:08 pm PST

Spoiled and Not Entitled

Quote From: adrienne143

I am a 17 year old girl from a small town in missouri. i can really relate to this episode. i am just like that girl. i want everything. everything i want, i get or if i don't all hell breaks lose. i dont listen to the word no. hello. i am 17. what i want i should get.

it's not my mom's fault. i don't get everything i want. but most things. i dont know.

i guess i just basically wanted to say i agree with the girl on the show. i understand where she is coming from. high school sucks. do you know how i would be treated in i showed up in walmart jeans and tee-shirt. i would be treated horribly. i would be made fun of. that is horrible. alot of people dont understand that some of the things we need as teenagers is NECESSARY.

 

You say your friends would treat you horribly and make fun of you??  Nice choice in friends!  I guess that comment alone explains alot about your decision making.  What if they (your friends) found out that your mom was doing what this girls mom was doing in order to buy her everything she wanted?  They wouldn't make fun of you for that?  Please explain to me why a teenager NEEDS a Prada handbag that costs a minimum of $500 to well over $2500.  If these are things you feel you that you just HAVE to have, get a job and spend your own money.... I would venture to guess they wouldn't be all that important if you had to work for them.
 
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jettav
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December 7, 2006, 7:25 pm PST

11/30 Spoiled and Entitled

Quote From: adrienne143

I am a 17 year old girl from a small town in missouri. i can really relate to this episode. i am just like that girl. i want everything. everything i want, i get or if i don't all hell breaks lose. i dont listen to the word no. hello. i am 17. what i want i should get.

it's not my mom's fault. i don't get everything i want. but most things. i dont know.

i guess i just basically wanted to say i agree with the girl on the show. i understand where she is coming from. high school sucks. do you know how i would be treated in i showed up in walmart jeans and tee-shirt. i would be treated horribly. i would be made fun of. that is horrible. alot of people dont understand that some of the things we need as teenagers is NECESSARY.

 

Get over your self, someday, you are gonna have to buy those things yourself, might as well start now. What you need is to get out in the real world and help those who are really in need, you are so clueless of what a need is, it shows in your post.
 
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faeryedark
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December 7, 2006, 7:42 pm PST

11/30 Spoiled and Entitled

Quote From: jettav

Get over your self, someday, you are gonna have to buy those things yourself, might as well start now. What you need is to get out in the real world and help those who are really in need, you are so clueless of what a need is, it shows in your post.

 Amen! At 17 I was living on my own, working and going to school. I was lucky I was dressed most days and sometimes...well, thing were inside out LOL!  By 19 I was taking care of my mother who was diagnosed w/ cancer.

People are important because they're irreplaceable. Things aren't
 
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mtmom7628
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December 7, 2006, 8:02 pm PST

Spoiled and NOT Entitled

GUCCI, FENDI, PRADA...... I've got another word for these girls to learn..... KARMA! 

 

Just picture them applying for a job (if and when they ever join the real world), and the boss is one of the girls they made fun of in highschool for not having what they did.  At that point Karma sure looks better than any designer outfit.
 
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brookew
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December 8, 2006, 9:03 am PST

17 says it all in this situation

Quote From: adrienne143

I am a 17 year old girl from a small town in missouri. i can really relate to this episode. i am just like that girl. i want everything. everything i want, i get or if i don't all hell breaks lose. i dont listen to the word no. hello. i am 17. what i want i should get.

it's not my mom's fault. i don't get everything i want. but most things. i dont know.

i guess i just basically wanted to say i agree with the girl on the show. i understand where she is coming from. high school sucks. do you know how i would be treated in i showed up in walmart jeans and tee-shirt. i would be treated horribly. i would be made fun of. that is horrible. alot of people dont understand that some of the things we need as teenagers is NECESSARY.

 

In this case it Does seem to be a maturity problem. When I was in highschool I got most of what i wanted but not any $2500 purses. I knew that was out of the question plus really who cares. When you graduate you will realize that the people you think are gonna talk about you dont really care what your wearing And Walmart clothes the only way they would know if it is from walmart clothing department is if they are shopping in that department also....Oh and I happen to be from a small town in Illnois.
 
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jettav
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December 8, 2006, 7:03 pm PST

11/30 Spoiled and Entitled

Quote From: faeryedark

 Amen! At 17 I was living on my own, working and going to school. I was lucky I was dressed most days and sometimes...well, thing were inside out LOL!  By 19 I was taking care of my mother who was diagnosed w/ cancer.

People are important because they're irreplaceable. Things aren't

I know what you mean. Thankfully I didn't have to take care of any one other then myself which is basically what I did. I lived with my grandma and was working a s a teen and helped my grandma with groceries as well as buying my neccessities for MYSELF. Graduated from high school and got MYSELF Through college. sure, there were some bumps along the path but I have done well for myself, and I am proud of the fact that I was able to take care of myself and do something with my life. I am teaching my kids the value of money and how to manage it, teaching them to be thankful for what they have and not to be greedy and at their young ages, they are catching on. yes, they are a bit rebellious at times, but they are only 3 and 5 but they know what NO means and they know what they need to do to EARN the things they might want. I know quite a few horror stories about self centered kids growing up to be not so nice adults and I will do everything in my power to prevent that from happening within my household.
 
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