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Topic : 06/06 Big Weight Issues

Number of Replies: 232
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Created on : Tuesday, November 21, 2006, 02:30:06 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 12/1/06) Do you ever look in the mirror and think, "How did I get this big"? For Angelique, 28, her compulsive eating is becoming deadly. She is morbidly obese at over 500 pounds, is afraid to go to restaurants because she says she'll break chairs, has to sleep sitting up, and her mother is raising her daughter because Angelique is too big to care for her. How is Angelique literally poisoning herself? Robert Reames, trainer and nutrition expert, makes a surprise visit to Angelique's house to clean out her cupboards and get her started on her weight-loss journey. Then, DeeDee weighed 750 pounds when she first appeared on Dr. Phil. It took five men, a van equipped with a special lift, a motorized wheel chair and multiple oxygen tanks to get her to the stage. Have things changed for her, and are her children still trapped in her web of guilt? And, Jennifer lost 162 pounds but was so ashamed of her body because of excess sagging skin, that she could barely look in the mirror. Dr. Phil arranged for her to meet with top Beverly Hills plastic surgeons. Did surgery change Jennifer's view of herself? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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November 26, 2006, 8:12 am CST

12/01 Weighty Issues

My 19 year old son has recently lost 85 lbs. he is so disgusted about the extra skin hanging from him that he wants to gain back the weight! Told him he was young enough that exercise should help him but I am so worried he will just try and gain it back any suggestions?
 
November 26, 2006, 11:28 am CST

I have given up long ago

I have just plain given up!!  I wrote to Dr Phil several times about the pain I am in and my weight issues and never even heard if my letters were received. 

 If I don't get my weight down, I am about 360#, maybe more by now, my health will not improve.  I have severe osteoarthritis, back pain, and numerous other health issues.  I

 am always told to get more exercise, but how can you do that when you can't stand more than one or two minutes, can't walk or do anything without pain and complete exhaustion?  I try but nothing seems to help. 

I have been to weight watchers, TOPS, and tried every diet in the book.  I had my stomach stapled in 1981, and that was the beginning of my end.  I had it taken down in 1991 and had several hernia surgeries after that.  My stomach is totally covered with mesh.  It is huge!!  It looks like I have a basketball under my shirt.  My stomach lining is so thin that my doctor said if it would ever bust open, my whole insides would gush out!!  I can't do any heavy lifting at all.  Just dragging my weight around is enough heavy lifting for anyone. 

Like I said, I give up!!  I'll be this way until I die.  I walk in the house with a cane or walker.  Outside I have to use an electric scooter or I can't do anything.  My life is basically in the house. 

My best to everyone out there who is trying to lose weight.  Take my advise...if you are still under 200#, please do not ever let yourself get to that 200# mark!!  From that point on it is a battle and it only gets worse!!

Thank you for letting me blow off some steam.  K

 
November 26, 2006, 2:17 pm CST

12/01 Weighty Issues

Quote From: carcrash

I think it is excellent that u lost so much weight  and had the courage , will power and stamina to do it. Fantastic and God bless u. One chapter in your life is now over, so the next chapter has just begun.  You will loose that excess weight and u will  look fantastic and u will feel good, happy, and emotionally as well as mentally you will be on the path to a happy, successful and finally a life u have been dreaming about.  Now as I am writing this to u my life came crashing down a few days ago.  I am 40 pounds overweight I know that is nothing compared to what u have lost but these extra 40 pounds ruined my life.  My husband has been on my back for years telling me to get rid of this extra weight.  Many times I tried, sometimes with success but then the weight would come back on.  after 16 years and three kids my husband had an affair and the woman is now pregnant.  Was the cause of his affair because I didn't try hard enough to loose this 40 pounds?  It is too late now I will have to deal with this for the rest of my life and if this is finally the incentive i have been looking for to really loose these 40 pounds it is tragic for me and for my torn family.

Your weight is not why he had the affair.  It was an excuse for him, but it wasn't the cause.  My mother has gained a lot of weight because of her medications and my father would never look at another woman, no matter how big Mom got.  My brother wouldn't do that to my sister-in-law.  Real men don't cheat on their wives because they don't need to reassure themselves all the time that they're "manly" and "in control" or whatever. 

 

He had an affair to feed his own ego, not because of anything you did or how you look.  If he were strong and self-assured in his own right he wouldn't need to crack the whip over you to make himself feel like a big shot.  If anything, his nagging and disrespect contribute to the problem (they sure don't motivate you to change, right?  It's much harder to lose weight when you feel so badly about yourself).  Do it for you, not for him.  He's not going to help you and he didn't earn the privilege of being seen with you, no matter how good you end up looking.

 
November 26, 2006, 3:11 pm CST

I Can Relate

 

Whether good or bad, I can relate to just about everyone that has posted a message.  I too have been overweight all my life, have medical problems, and yes, had thoughts of suicide at one point in my life.  I would never carry them out now because I know how much I mean to my family and how much they mean to me.

 

As for being a large person, the world can be cruel.  We pay extra for plus size clothing and for seats on air planes, we get looked at strange when going to buffets or restaurants.  People and kids say things under their breath and call you names, respectively.  It's not easy sometimes and our self esteem doesn't help matters.  My self esteem as been in the gutter too many times to count, I still haven't figured out how to inflat it. 

 

So, I continue to struggle through life with my overweight body, my many health issues, and some other stressful family problems.  A lot of times I feel like I am doing OK and other times I feel like slipping away somewhere.  Things will be all right, I just have to keep trudging along.

 

 
November 26, 2006, 7:16 pm CST

12/01 Weighty Issues

Quote From: valjoy1967

G'day all from the land Down Under.  I guess I may be classed as 'small' in comparison with some of y'all and I mean no disrespect there.  I weigh about 130 kilos (286 pounds) and it's really affecting my health, especially my sleep and asthma.  I just hate constantly having a weight problem.  I know I'm not in the largest category but I can tell you, I really hate my body now the way it is.  I have so many stretch marks and saggy skin and it looks like I have cellulite everywhere, not to mention the numerous varicose veins in my legs!  I wonder, how the heck did I let myself go like this!!  I think what it comes down to apart from the food is the things we use the food for.  For me, it's always been about emotional eating, especially the hot, greasy foods such as fries and chicken, anything that makes you feel good.

 

But now, I have decided that enough is enough!  I bought Dr. Phil's book, The Ultimate Weight Loss Solution and I will read it lol.  I'm going to pull it out and get inspiration from it.  I've decided that as I'm approaching 40 and have a family history of heart disease, it is way past time I did something about my weight.  My mum was 42 when she died of a heart attack (she had high blood pressure and asthma which I now have!) so it's a real wake up call to me.  So to anyone who is thinking that they need to do something, do it now before it's too late.  Let me encourage you to just take a step and make some changes in your life.  For me, I eat a lot and have a huge appetite plus I live on soft drink (soda), so the biggest struggle will be breaking the sugar addiction and eating smaller portions of the 'right' foods.  I'm also going to exercise a little each day until I am fit enough to do more.  Then after I've lost all I wish to, if my body doesn't look so great still, it doesn't really matter because I know I'll be healthy and out of danger.  For the women who are depressed after losing their weight, go and get some counselling darlings because it will turn your life around, trust me, I know this.

 

If any of you out there wish to email me because you're lonely or even to encourage me in my weight loss journey, please send me a message on here if you can and ask for my email address, I'd love to write to you and encourage you.  Sometimes, the only friends we have are our internet friends and God bless them!  I am so thankful for all my Net mates!

 

Take care and God bless,

 

Val  :-)

 

 

 

 

Reading this last comment was like someone was writing about me.  I am also 280 pounds and I struggle on a daily bases about my weight.   I too use food as comfort and have not found the strength to begin the journey to loss weight.   I commend you Val for finding the strength to help yourself and I  am willing to support you along the way.  Maybe I too can find the courage to join you!  Thank you for sharing!

 

Britt~

 
November 27, 2006, 6:08 am CST

As Dr Phil would say, It ain't about the weight!

My husband has been on my back for years telling me to get rid of this extra weight.  Many times I tried, sometimes with success but then the weight would come back on.  after 16 years and three kids my husband had an affair and the woman is now pregnant.  Was the cause of his affair because I didn't try hard enough to loose this 40 pounds?  It is too late now I will have to deal with this for the rest of my life and if this is finally the incentive i have been looking for to really loose these 40 pounds it is tragic for me and for my torn family.

 

Carcrash I want to tell you that your weight had NOTHING to do with why he left you. I am 5 foot and probably knocking on 180lbs and my husband loves me unconditionally. If your husband has been dogging you about your weight all of these years, what does that say about him? I think he was just trying to pull himself up by pulling you down.

You'll probably look back on his affair in a year and think how glad you are to be rid of him. ( who needs a cheat and someone that runs them down around?)

 

Didn't catch the name but...the Aussie that wanted to email with people...I would love to email with you. I am going to be 39 soon, so we are around the same age. My email is samwisep@hotmail.com. I hope to hear from you!

 

Samantha, chubby but working on it. :)

 
November 27, 2006, 7:26 am CST

Never give up on yourself

I know this can be a struggle for people.  That is because when we try to lose weight we are using will power which is in our conscious mind and will power doesn't usually last.  To have lasting results and a changed life forever, we must get the change down into our subconscious mind.  Now we can do this on our own, because we have seen some people lose and keep it off, however, it is difficult.  The easiest way I know to do it is through hypnosis.  I am a hypnotherapist and suggest people try this technique.  If you do decide to try this technique there are some things to know that will be helpful.  The technique of hypnosis itself is very easy.  Most people(90% or higher) can be hypnotized.  It is the acceptance of the suggestion of weight loss that is difficult.  On the conscious level we may want to lose weight, however, our subconscious mind is very protective and may reject the suggestion based on believing it may be protecting you in some way.  One extreme example would be if you were sexually assaulted in some way in your past and your subconscious may have believed that if you gained weight you would be less attractive and this would be a form of protection against further assaults.  Now logically we know better than this, but emotionally we may feel differently.  That is also why we emotionally eat, even though logically we know it is bad for us.  So if you choose to do hypnosis, make sure you are willing to dig a little deeper into your psyche and also make sure the hypnotherapist is willing to do so as well.  Ya see, I am a psychologist as well, and not all hypnotists are.  So I am always using this technique to heal people on a deeper level.  It won't hurt anyone to try this technique, and it really isn't that expensive.  Shop around and make sure to go to someone well-respected.  I know you will be amazed with the results.  Thanks for listening.  Sheri
 
November 27, 2006, 7:43 am CST

weighty issues

Weight is such a touchy subject! It hits on a nerve for a lot of people. I have struggled with my weight since childhood.  It makes me sad to read posts of other women who want to die when they look in the mirror. I know it may sound silly to say but it truly is what is on the inside that counts. If you need therapy to get past those feelings, please get it. Regardless of how much a person weighs, each and every individual has so much to offer others. We live in a world of toothpick thin models and plastic surgery. I know it may be hard to believe but at the end of the day what matters is, what kind of a friend, mother, wife,or daughter we are. I will probably never be a size 12, there is part of me that would like to be. I would like to get fit so I can be healthier. I just have learned or am learning that my self worth can't be tied to my weight. We have such wonderful qualities as women. It is so sad that we live in a world that wants to make us feel less- than because we don't fit a so-called ideal. I have nothing against trying to be healthy, I just think it is upsetting that so many beautiful women think they are ugly or worthless because they aren't a perfect size.  Every person has infinite potential and wonderful qualities that are unique to you. Please remember that!
 
November 27, 2006, 7:27 pm CST

I guess I was lucky

Back in the 70's when I was married to my 1st husband & after having 2 kids, he nicknamed  me "fat ass".  I didn't realize how big I was actually getting until I saw the photos of our 10th anniversary party.  Then I went on a journey to loose weight & after I did, we had 2 more kids.  I was still a "fat ass" in his eyes & mine too.  When all was said & done I got up to 175 lbs. & was only 5'1".  I knew I was done having kids & went on another journey to loose weight.  After I did, he labeled me as a whore.  Thought I did it to get other men to notice me.  We divorced after 17 yrs. of marraige.  When it comes to brass tacks, he was a drunk & a workaholic.  I think he was insecure about his role  as a dad & husband,  Our kids are grown now.  We're both remarried.  I've stayed between 105 - 110 pounds since our divorce.  I think you need to get happy with your situation in life before you can get happy with yourself.  I'm now going my 20 yr. anniversary with my 2nd hubby & we're as happy as ever.
 
November 28, 2006, 11:58 am CST

60 pounds is more like it for me

Quote From: jennarain

I just felt the need to reply. 

 

My name is Jennifer.  I am the Girl on the show that is set to be aired on Dec 1st.  Dr Phil surprised me with surgery to remove my skin.  Please believe me when I say, that i have experienced everything that you are now facing.  I wrote into Dr Phil in regards to the downside of Weight loss.  My marriage was a joke,  I hated to be unclothed, touched, hugged looked at you name it I had an issue.  Even though I reached close to goal I still covered up, I was disgusting without cloths.  I was  mortified by my body the more I lost the scarier it was for me.  My body continued to look horrible the more I lost.  I always wanted to be skinny, and now that I lost my weight,  my loss became my nightmare.  I looked nothing like I pictured I would look like at goal.  I thought I could wear a T shirt yes something as simple as a T shirt and feel good about me,  But my arms were hanging swinging all the time.  To some this would appear PETTY, but to me being obese clinicly obese my entire life and finally doing something that is good to the outside as to weight loss was nothing close to good.  I resembled a melting candle, I hated my decision to lose.  I was guilt ridden that if i just stayed fat than i wouldn't have left one problem to gain another.  Surgery is extrememly expensive and one thing I knew in this lifetime No matter what,  I couldn't possibly do.  So I reached out to Dr Phil before a pre weight loss show and basically told him if he was going to do another weight losss show DO A REAL ONE OR DON"T DO ONE AT ALL!!!!  No one ever talks about the down side of weight loss that it is not alwys happy, lifes great!!! PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFttttt!!!!!!!!!!!.  I was soooo sick of seeing people at goal on stage showing off and happy with a new wardrobe or car or Trip to show off their new body I wanted to throw up.  All that is mateialistic and rots and goes away But you still have to wake each day to your body, and anything  over a 120lb weight loss is not a pretty sight.  No One ever talked about THE EXCESS SKIN. what the Hll does one do about it ? when after all the struggle,  to finally do what the media blasts in our brain to do,  we accomplish but look worse than when we started???  I lost with the dream in my head that I would look great for the first time in my life.  Hilarious, it was a cruel joke I tried soo hard but in the end the joke was on me....  My life wasn't in danger to rsort to surgery but my mental life was.  So many people don't get that. I had  agross body at 300+lbs and a gross body at goal.  I wanted to gain my weight back because than at least I would be filled out my skin wouldn't hang ripple or slap together, and the public would understand why i was covered up at the beach, ( because I was fat) But I was coverd up thin and people didn't get it.  If I exposed the sight of my flesh, I would have left people with the same reaction as if I was fat.  EWWWWWWWWW gross look at that lady, she needs to cover up.... Thin and fat I hid in big cloths.  Losing weight is not all what the media says it is.  You exchange one battle for another.  I wanted answeres from Dr Phil for all of us, but he surprised me with the Dr's from Dr 90210!!!!!!!  I came to the conclusion that maybe even Dr Phil doesn't have anything concret to help us, its all a series,  a process, but he does state that we must be realists about the whole process good and bad.  My journey I had no Idea, I guess I was dilusional.. LOL... I had noone to educate me on the whole journey I did it all ALONE.  By myself no surgery no dieticians noone me myself and my dream to be better Healthier.  Because I KNOW not everyone can have surgery,  I know alone,,, I couldn't.  The media plugs in us to lose, finally we believe in ourselves enough to DO IT.  But we are faced once again with NOW WHAT???? 

I live by the MOTTO..... Don't live to regret the things you've done.... Live to regret the things you haven't done.... In other words Just do everything.  The worst thing may turn into your biggest blessing...

 

I wanted to reach out to Angelique on the show and tell her that She CAN be where I am Because i was once where she is.  Just believe........ In YOU.  Believe that in the next minute Your Dream comes true, because thats how fast life can change.  If it takes min by min hour to hour day by day  month by month Trust that in the next min everything can change.

 

I could lose the weight myself but I couldn't shed the skin myself.  Surgery is not the answer for everyone but it was the answer for me.  Now I make it my mission to help all who are just waiting to walk in my shoes and face thier weight loss journey with pride and the belief that not another day will  you accept.... that you are worth being happy whatever your happiness is to you.

 

Smile you are 60 seconds from a Dream come true....

Sincerely Jennifer....

Dear Jennifer ,

 

Thank you so much for sharing your story of hope with all of us , but most of all thank you for thinking that we are worth the trust of your personnal journey......

 

As i wrote earlier , the mental side effect of losing weight is tremendous... i am now 80 pounds smaller with 50 more to go , but i am struggling and sabotaging myself , i loose 10 pounds gain it back at least 3 times for each 10 pounds. ...... i am at the point of given up just looking at the skin hanging from my arms and belly..... it makes me sick after all the efforts i have put thru it..... i can see that my weight problem could be solve but not my mental ......

 

After 34 years of anguish and sadness  i just can't see the point anymore....i just need to be regarded as a person not an obese or ex -obese...... for me the 60 secondes last  years....

 

thank you Lyne

 
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