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Topic : 06/06 Big Weight Issues

Number of Replies: 232
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Tuesday, November 21, 2006, 02:30:06 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 12/1/06) Do you ever look in the mirror and think, "How did I get this big"? For Angelique, 28, her compulsive eating is becoming deadly. She is morbidly obese at over 500 pounds, is afraid to go to restaurants because she says she'll break chairs, has to sleep sitting up, and her mother is raising her daughter because Angelique is too big to care for her. How is Angelique literally poisoning herself? Robert Reames, trainer and nutrition expert, makes a surprise visit to Angelique's house to clean out her cupboards and get her started on her weight-loss journey. Then, DeeDee weighed 750 pounds when she first appeared on Dr. Phil. It took five men, a van equipped with a special lift, a motorized wheel chair and multiple oxygen tanks to get her to the stage. Have things changed for her, and are her children still trapped in her web of guilt? And, Jennifer lost 162 pounds but was so ashamed of her body because of excess sagging skin, that she could barely look in the mirror. Dr. Phil arranged for her to meet with top Beverly Hills plastic surgeons. Did surgery change Jennifer's view of herself? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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November 28, 2006, 5:04 pm CST

bad husband

Quote From: carcrash

I think it is excellent that u lost so much weight  and had the courage , will power and stamina to do it. Fantastic and God bless u. One chapter in your life is now over, so the next chapter has just begun.  You will loose that excess weight and u will  look fantastic and u will feel good, happy, and emotionally as well as mentally you will be on the path to a happy, successful and finally a life u have been dreaming about.  Now as I am writing this to u my life came crashing down a few days ago.  I am 40 pounds overweight I know that is nothing compared to what u have lost but these extra 40 pounds ruined my life.  My husband has been on my back for years telling me to get rid of this extra weight.  Many times I tried, sometimes with success but then the weight would come back on.  after 16 years and three kids my husband had an affair and the woman is now pregnant.  Was the cause of his affair because I didn't try hard enough to loose this 40 pounds?  It is too late now I will have to deal with this for the rest of my life and if this is finally the incentive i have been looking for to really loose these 40 pounds it is tragic for me and for my torn family.
  I'm sorry about your husband's affair.  I can't imagine your pain right now.  I have also gained 50lbs since my children and 11years of marriage.  But, guess what????  My husband has gained that much weight as well!  We eat salads, fish, and chicken.  No soda, chips, or cakes in our house and yet we had wt gain.  We walk together and bike together.  We've never used the weight as a weapon in our marriage.    We discuss it,but never fight about it.  Your marriage didn't fall apart because of your weight.  Look at the whole picture.  Were there other signs, such as little "insults" or "comments"  about how you cook, or clean, or drive.....????  ANYTHING???  Maybe he's been abusive all these years and you never realized it until  the affair.   With any luck this girl that is pregnant now will gain 75lb and only loose 10 after the baby.  The best revenge is to live well.  I belong to "CURVES FOR WOMEN'.  Look them up in your town I'm sure you'll find support and a great workout all in one package.  Good luck!
 
November 28, 2006, 7:01 pm CST

hey please read and comment me back

hey Im 16yrs old and  I live in sand springs oklahoma and I wouldnt say Im over weight but I need to loose some weight and I was wondering if any of you guys have any suggestions for me like exercising and what I can do if you do email me at foreverpink4ubabe@yahoo.com
 
November 29, 2006, 3:23 am CST

I appreciate your thoghts

Quote From: kleesun

Your weight is not why he had the affair.  It was an excuse for him, but it wasn't the cause.  My mother has gained a lot of weight because of her medications and my father would never look at another woman, no matter how big Mom got.  My brother wouldn't do that to my sister-in-law.  Real men don't cheat on their wives because they don't need to reassure themselves all the time that they're "manly" and "in control" or whatever. 

 

He had an affair to feed his own ego, not because of anything you did or how you look.  If he were strong and self-assured in his own right he wouldn't need to crack the whip over you to make himself feel like a big shot.  If anything, his nagging and disrespect contribute to the problem (they sure don't motivate you to change, right?  It's much harder to lose weight when you feel so badly about yourself).  Do it for you, not for him.  He's not going to help you and he didn't earn the privilege of being seen with you, no matter how good you end up looking.

Thank you kleeson.

 

 I appreciate your thoughts.  It feels nice to know that someone took the time and energy to write back to me with their thoughts.  Your comments make allot of sense and I know what you are saying is 100% right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This whole situation seems to be revolving around him.  He is so caught up in his stress and not knowing what to do.  The other woman lives very far away and she can hardly speak English, not that it seemed to be a problem when he was screwing her.  Now he says he has to go see her to figure out what to do she is 2 months pregnant and does not want to have an abortion. I told him its her or me.  Of course he says he loves me and doesn't want me to leave but I think its his own selfishness of who is going to take care of the children.  He does nothing to try and make me feel better except for ignoring me and telling me it is his problem and he will deal with it. Whats That?

 
November 29, 2006, 3:43 am CST

thanks

Quote From: shnck3511

  I'm sorry about your husband's affair.  I can't imagine your pain right now.  I have also gained 50lbs since my children and 11years of marriage.  But, guess what????  My husband has gained that much weight as well!  We eat salads, fish, and chicken.  No soda, chips, or cakes in our house and yet we had wt gain.  We walk together and bike together.  We've never used the weight as a weapon in our marriage.    We discuss it,but never fight about it.  Your marriage didn't fall apart because of your weight.  Look at the whole picture.  Were there other signs, such as little "insults" or "comments"  about how you cook, or clean, or drive.....????  ANYTHING???  Maybe he's been abusive all these years and you never realized it until  the affair.   With any luck this girl that is pregnant now will gain 75lb and only loose 10 after the baby.  The best revenge is to live well.  I belong to "CURVES FOR WOMEN'.  Look them up in your town I'm sure you'll find support and a great workout all in one package.  Good luck!

thanks schnk3511

 

I understand what u are trying to say.  But how can I live well.  This woman is having the baby she say she wants to keep it. She knows my husband is married with three children, but that doesn't seem to matter to her.  She lives very far away from us and speaks very little English and she expects my husband to take care of her is this a trap or what?  This affair has destroyed my future with him.  Even if he doesn't have relations with this woman anymore there is still a child involved that will keep them linked forever.  I will loose the 40lbs already 5 have come off due to lack of appetite, sleep and stress and then I will leave him and find someone who loves and appreciates me for me.  I am just sad for my children who will loose their mother, because I also live far away and if I leave my husband he will not let me take my children.  I pray to God he gets me through this before I do something drastic.

 
November 29, 2006, 12:26 pm CST

12/01 Weighty Issues

Quote From: carcrash

Thank you kleeson.

 

 I appreciate your thoughts.  It feels nice to know that someone took the time and energy to write back to me with their thoughts.  Your comments make allot of sense and I know what you are saying is 100% right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This whole situation seems to be revolving around him.  He is so caught up in his stress and not knowing what to do.  The other woman lives very far away and she can hardly speak English, not that it seemed to be a problem when he was screwing her.  Now he says he has to go see her to figure out what to do she is 2 months pregnant and does not want to have an abortion. I told him its her or me.  Of course he says he loves me and doesn't want me to leave but I think its his own selfishness of who is going to take care of the children.  He does nothing to try and make me feel better except for ignoring me and telling me it is his problem and he will deal with it. Whats That?

[[Hugs]]

 

I'm sorry I don't have any actual advice but I wish you the best in doing what you need to do for yourself in a sticky situation. 

 
November 29, 2006, 12:48 pm CST

hi again

Quote From: carcrash

thanks schnk3511

 

I understand what u are trying to say.  But how can I live well.  This woman is having the baby she say she wants to keep it. She knows my husband is married with three children, but that doesn't seem to matter to her.  She lives very far away from us and speaks very little English and she expects my husband to take care of her is this a trap or what?  This affair has destroyed my future with him.  Even if he doesn't have relations with this woman anymore there is still a child involved that will keep them linked forever.  I will loose the 40lbs already 5 have come off due to lack of appetite, sleep and stress and then I will leave him and find someone who loves and appreciates me for me.  I am just sad for my children who will loose their mother, because I also live far away and if I leave my husband he will not let me take my children.  I pray to God he gets me through this before I do something drastic.

  What state do you live in?  Are you in the States?  Does this girl live in another country?   She might be having this child only for a free ticket into this country and that would be sad for all involved.  I ask about where you live because don't let him threaten you with "I'm keeping the kids."  In almost every state, unless you are a bad mom (and I'm sure you're not) you will get custody.  If you tell the court that your husband had an affair it's a sealed deal.   I will say a prayer for you.   I am no counsler, just another woman who's been through alot.  Please, reach out to family, friends, church, etc......Don't do anything drastic!!!!!!
 
November 29, 2006, 1:15 pm CST

Ask your doctor

Quote From: f192345000

hey Im 16yrs old and  I live in sand springs oklahoma and I wouldnt say Im over weight but I need to loose some weight and I was wondering if any of you guys have any suggestions for me like exercising and what I can do if you do email me at foreverpink4ubabe@yahoo.com
Don't ask the general public for health advice---you'll get a lot of unsafe and bad advice.  Go see your doctor or other health care professional.  It's their JOB to give you sound medical advice, not fad diets or other unsafe ways to lose the weight!  Always be careful with your health.
 
November 29, 2006, 2:46 pm CST

hey

Quote From: steiwhleur

Don't ask the general public for health advice---you'll get a lot of unsafe and bad advice.  Go see your doctor or other health care professional.  It's their JOB to give you sound medical advice, not fad diets or other unsafe ways to lose the weight!  Always be careful with your health.
thank you for your advice
 
November 29, 2006, 8:48 pm CST

Weighty Issue... I have lost 125 and have 20 more to go

I had lap band surgery last January 10th...that was a life saver for me. Due to many back issues I couldn't excerise and walking became very painful, too... I contacted a local doctor who specializes in both the gastic bypass and lap band. It cost hubby and I 13,000 out of pocket, but let me tell you it has been worth every penny. My blood pressure is well into the normal range now, my cholesterol is now 172 (the bad kind) and my good kind is way up...and best of all my Type 2 Diabeties is under control with diet only. While lap band is great, you still have to mind your Ps & Qs and follow your doctor's diet...but if you do, I am here to tell you it works and works well. I have gone from a size 24/26 down to a size 16... I am going to lose about another 20 pounds and then get a tummy tuck. Yes, some of my skin is sagging...but not to badly...except for my tummy which has always sagged since I had my kids (mind you my baby is turning 35 on Friday...). I haven't suffered with the depression that the other lady mentioned... I guess I am lucky. While I still have a hard time walking due to my degenertive discs, my compressed discs, my hernatied discs, my pinched nerve (L-4/L-5) and my stenosis....I know that will likely never change, overall I am feeling great. If you are over 100 pounds overweight, I strongly suggest that if you have health issues and you can't excerise or seem to loose it any other way, that you go to a siminar and decide if this is for you. For me it has been a life saver. Most insurance companies don't cover lap bands...but will cover gastic bypass with can have more serious problems associated with it...but then any type of surgery subject to issues and or possible problems. For me it was the right choice.... I don't regret it in the least.
 
November 30, 2006, 1:48 am CST

I am canadian

Quote From: shnck3511

  What state do you live in?  Are you in the States?  Does this girl live in another country?   She might be having this child only for a free ticket into this country and that would be sad for all involved.  I ask about where you live because don't let him threaten you with "I'm keeping the kids."  In almost every state, unless you are a bad mom (and I'm sure you're not) you will get custody.  If you tell the court that your husband had an affair it's a sealed deal.   I will say a prayer for you.   I am no counsler, just another woman who's been through alot.  Please, reach out to family, friends, church, etc......Don't do anything drastic!!!!!!
I am a Canadian married to a Libyan, and living in Libya.  I have lived here for 16 years very happily until this happened.  My life was complete and my children's lives were complete.  We had it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Thats what I thought?  The other woman is from Russia he met her on a business trip. Known her for two months.  I too think that this woman thinks that my husband is financial secure and it is her ticket to a easy life.  She knew he was married and had 3 kids, but despite this knowledge she still wants the baby.  I know my husband wants to do the right thing for her, take responsibility for his actions, but he has destroyed our family in the process I cannot cope with this it is slowly killing me.
 
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