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Topic : 06/06 Big Weight Issues

Number of Replies: 232
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Created on : Tuesday, November 21, 2006, 02:30:06 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 12/1/06) Do you ever look in the mirror and think, "How did I get this big"? For Angelique, 28, her compulsive eating is becoming deadly. She is morbidly obese at over 500 pounds, is afraid to go to restaurants because she says she'll break chairs, has to sleep sitting up, and her mother is raising her daughter because Angelique is too big to care for her. How is Angelique literally poisoning herself? Robert Reames, trainer and nutrition expert, makes a surprise visit to Angelique's house to clean out her cupboards and get her started on her weight-loss journey. Then, DeeDee weighed 750 pounds when she first appeared on Dr. Phil. It took five men, a van equipped with a special lift, a motorized wheel chair and multiple oxygen tanks to get her to the stage. Have things changed for her, and are her children still trapped in her web of guilt? And, Jennifer lost 162 pounds but was so ashamed of her body because of excess sagging skin, that she could barely look in the mirror. Dr. Phil arranged for her to meet with top Beverly Hills plastic surgeons. Did surgery change Jennifer's view of herself? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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December 1, 2006, 6:32 am CST

Great post. thanks.

Quote From: jennarain

I just felt the need to reply. 

 

My name is Jennifer.  I am the Girl on the show that is set to be aired on Dec 1st.  Dr Phil surprised me with surgery to remove my skin.  Please believe me when I say, that i have experienced everything that you are now facing.  I wrote into Dr Phil in regards to the downside of Weight loss.  My marriage was a joke,  I hated to be unclothed, touched, hugged looked at you name it I had an issue.  Even though I reached close to goal I still covered up, I was disgusting without cloths.  I was  mortified by my body the more I lost the scarier it was for me.  My body continued to look horrible the more I lost.  I always wanted to be skinny, and now that I lost my weight,  my loss became my nightmare.  I looked nothing like I pictured I would look like at goal.  I thought I could wear a T shirt yes something as simple as a T shirt and feel good about me,  But my arms were hanging swinging all the time.  To some this would appear PETTY, but to me being obese clinicly obese my entire life and finally doing something that is good to the outside as to weight loss was nothing close to good.  I resembled a melting candle, I hated my decision to lose.  I was guilt ridden that if i just stayed fat than i wouldn't have left one problem to gain another.  Surgery is extrememly expensive and one thing I knew in this lifetime No matter what,  I couldn't possibly do.  So I reached out to Dr Phil before a pre weight loss show and basically told him if he was going to do another weight losss show DO A REAL ONE OR DON"T DO ONE AT ALL!!!!  No one ever talks about the down side of weight loss that it is not alwys happy, lifes great!!! PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFttttt!!!!!!!!!!!.  I was soooo sick of seeing people at goal on stage showing off and happy with a new wardrobe or car or Trip to show off their new body I wanted to throw up.  All that is mateialistic and rots and goes away But you still have to wake each day to your body, and anything  over a 120lb weight loss is not a pretty sight.  No One ever talked about THE EXCESS SKIN. what the Hll does one do about it ? when after all the struggle,  to finally do what the media blasts in our brain to do,  we accomplish but look worse than when we started???  I lost with the dream in my head that I would look great for the first time in my life.  Hilarious, it was a cruel joke I tried soo hard but in the end the joke was on me....  My life wasn't in danger to rsort to surgery but my mental life was.  So many people don't get that. I had  agross body at 300+lbs and a gross body at goal.  I wanted to gain my weight back because than at least I would be filled out my skin wouldn't hang ripple or slap together, and the public would understand why i was covered up at the beach, ( because I was fat) But I was coverd up thin and people didn't get it.  If I exposed the sight of my flesh, I would have left people with the same reaction as if I was fat.  EWWWWWWWWW gross look at that lady, she needs to cover up.... Thin and fat I hid in big cloths.  Losing weight is not all what the media says it is.  You exchange one battle for another.  I wanted answeres from Dr Phil for all of us, but he surprised me with the Dr's from Dr 90210!!!!!!!  I came to the conclusion that maybe even Dr Phil doesn't have anything concret to help us, its all a series,  a process, but he does state that we must be realists about the whole process good and bad.  My journey I had no Idea, I guess I was dilusional.. LOL... I had noone to educate me on the whole journey I did it all ALONE.  By myself no surgery no dieticians noone me myself and my dream to be better Healthier.  Because I KNOW not everyone can have surgery,  I know alone,,, I couldn't.  The media plugs in us to lose, finally we believe in ourselves enough to DO IT.  But we are faced once again with NOW WHAT???? 

I live by the MOTTO..... Don't live to regret the things you've done.... Live to regret the things you haven't done.... In other words Just do everything.  The worst thing may turn into your biggest blessing...

 

I wanted to reach out to Angelique on the show and tell her that She CAN be where I am Because i was once where she is.  Just believe........ In YOU.  Believe that in the next minute Your Dream comes true, because thats how fast life can change.  If it takes min by min hour to hour day by day  month by month Trust that in the next min everything can change.

 

I could lose the weight myself but I couldn't shed the skin myself.  Surgery is not the answer for everyone but it was the answer for me.  Now I make it my mission to help all who are just waiting to walk in my shoes and face thier weight loss journey with pride and the belief that not another day will  you accept.... that you are worth being happy whatever your happiness is to you.

 

Smile you are 60 seconds from a Dream come true....

Sincerely Jennifer....

Beautiful post from a beautiful person. Thank you for sharing.

 

Beauty definitely is on the inside, but the wrapping is what makes many people happy or sad, depending.

 

Healthy choices and exercise are the hard answers to weight loss questions. Most are heavy due to emotional issues....eating out of boredom and depression, etc (as was the case with me). I say was because I finally had enough and started a MEDICAL weight loss program. In 2 months I have lost 25 pounds, I eat healthy foods (veggies, whole grains, protein, etc) and my energy level has skyrocketed.


I had to hit rock bottom (medically) and decide that I wanted to LIVE FOR MY CHILDREN before I wrapped my arms around the desire to lose the weight. If I can do it, anybody can!

 

And my first gift to myself after losing ALL the weight needed is to get my bellybutton pierced w/ a diamond stud (yes, at 44 it's what I want)! That's my goal and I'm gonna make it!

 
December 1, 2006, 6:39 am CST

Depression is the problem. Not weight loss

Quote From: batts74

Two and half years ago I weight in at 454 lbs. I since have lost 220 lbs. Yeah, I know how wonderful. But I have never been so depressed. I absolutely hate my life. I have no intentions of gaining the weight back don't get me wrong, but I have spent tons of money in therapy just to figure out how not to commit suicide. And I know I am not the only one I am currently in a support group and there are others who after weight loss are fighting the urge to commit suicide as well.

 

I have also had plastic surgery to remove some of the excess skin that doesn't help. It makes you look better on the outside, but its on the inside that counts.

 

I really wish that Dr. Phil or anyone would look into his the negative effects of weight loss. But I figure no one would be interested in knowing that there is a down size to lossing weight.

There are negative affects to most changes in life; however, it is SO important that people maintain good physical health to be around for their spouses, children, etc.

 

Your problem is something that CAN go away. You may need to talk to a counselor (there are free ones in about every city in this country...if you search hard enough). You may need to see a medical doctor to find out if there are others way to help w/ your depression. Changing the physical outside was the 1st step. Now you have to go on to step 2 and work on your mind/emotions.

 

I was chronically depressed (and suicidal) as a young adult. I know what it feels like to not want to live. Whenever I feel that I am heading in the wrong direction these days, I make a conscious effort to wrap my mind around something positive (my children, my husband, my elderly parents, a hobby, exercise, etc). When I am busy and putting others first, I tend to forget about myself and my unhappiness.

 

I am happy you are in a support group, but if the group is not a postive experience for you, perhaps another group would be better. Sad people tend to feed off eachother and that won't help you at all.

 

Good luck to you and God bless. You can and will get thru this bump in the road, but please celebrate (and be proud) of your weight loss. You have tackled one dragon, now you have one more left to defeat (depression). You CAN do it; I have faith in you!

 
December 1, 2006, 6:51 am CST

Good Question

Quote From: gatti1

 

  Good for all you ladies that have chosen a healthier lifestyle! I do have a question though, and 

   please know that I'm not trying to be a jerk with this question. I was curious to know that if a

  person (male/female) starts to gain weight that isn't healthy for them, why not make the

  decision to get healty then? Why wait untill it gets to be too much? Of course it's hard and it

  might take some time but you didn't gain it overnight and your not going to loose it overnight

  either.

I married 17 years ago. Over 17 years, I gained 110 pounds. The weight comes on gradually. And some people, such as myself, never really cared about "looks" or the opinions of strangers. I have always been happy w/ my husband, my children, my many friends, my co-workers, my parents and relatives, etc. I have always been outgoing, humorous and spontaneous. Life has been great for me, REGARDLESS of the weight, which is probably why I never cared to lose it (or not gain it).

 

For me, it took medical problems (Sleep apnea, Diabetes, Anemia) to decide to lose the weight. I want to live for my children. I owe it to them.  And my dear, sweet husband (who has always found me beautiful and desirable) has now admitted that he was very worried he would lose his wife. So....for others, I am losing the weight and it feels good to be back in the swing of things (lots of energy and lots more patience!).

 

People don't overeat because they are hungry. They eat out of boredom, stress, depression, etc. And the more they eat, the more depressed about themselves they become. I began overeating in my teen years when my father started being verbally and emotionally abusive. Years later, I kicked a bad smoking habit, but losing weight is 100x harder than quitting smoking. It's all about changing one's lifestyle and habits and it doesn't happen overnight (just as gaining the weight didnt). A person has to be mentally ready to lose the weight because it's a LONG, HARD journey.

 

Thanks for your question.

 

 

 
December 1, 2006, 7:33 am CST

Fat and UnHappy

As I sit  here watching the Dr Phil show of this woman who is past a 5x size clothes I look at myself and relize that I am FAT. I hate my life and I think that I always have. I have always been overweight but as I was growing up my mother and my great aunt who was all the family I had use to tell me that I was fat that I needed to lose weight and oh the real one that always sticks out in my mind is "You have such a pretty face IF you would just lose some weight" I thought I was as big as a house untill some years ago I was going through some photos of myself back then and I was like dang I looked good back then and they had me thinking I was as big as I am right now. I married young to a man whom I love to death I had one child and with him I gained some weight. I lost some when I had him but not alot then about a year later I was pregnant again and I had twins who died. When they were forced to be born I had gained alot of weight but this time I had a hard time losing any of it. It seems that from that time on I have gradually gained weight till now here I sit watching Dr Phil wishing that I had help. Someone to support me and help me and push me to get fit and feel better. Im an currentaly going to a dr that she has me on all kinds of med one for my blood pressure one for my heart rythem  one for my cholostrol one for diabeties acid reflux I take five different ones a day. I know that there is alot out there that probably take more but Im only 40 years old and I would love before I die to be happy for which I dont believe that I get up not one single day happy. I wake up thinking oh lord another day to live ugh. I have been so depressed at time that I think that i should just take all my pills at one time and gt my life over with. I cant afford to join a gym or get anything as it is we are getting ready to lose the cable and net becauwe we cant afford it we are struggling to pay our ele and water each month becase there is no jobs in this town and people will just not hire a fat person such as me that can not stand on my feet for any length of time. I have a hip problem and my feet are numb at times. I just can not get help at all. I would love to have someone on my butt all the time forcing me to do this as I have no willpower. I sit here and watch this show today and yes I feel sorry for myself because I WANT THAT.. I want to lose this weight and it breaks my heart to see these people out there actually able to do it. HOW can someone like me who will not eat vegies and can not stand on my feel for a long time get this weight off of me. I just dont know. Im so scared that Im going to get to the point that I will not be able to walk at all. Im sorry I dont meant o vent on here this was starting about the show itself.
 
December 1, 2006, 8:09 am CST

snglong2005

Snglong2005, You have come to the right place.  Watching Dr. Phil's show was the first step and coming here was the second step.  There are a lot of resources right here on the Dr. Phil's website.  You can come here daily for support.  We are a supportive group of woman of all ages and all amounts of weight to lose from all over America, Canada, and Australia.  We all have our ups and downs with our weight and we encourage each other.  So, keep reading the messages here and keep writing. If you can tell us your real name that would be nice for us to know! :)  The best resourse is Dr. Phil's book the Ultimate Weight Solution.  You could check it out at your local library.  If you are not able to, you can do a search on this website for other weight loss shows, and get further information on weight loss information.  Please feel free to ask us your specific questions and we will answer them.  As far as exercising, you do not need to do anything fancy.  You can take a short walk around your neighborhood to begin with or but on some music and dance around.  I hope these have been helpful suggestions.  Like I said, you have come to the right place and keep writing.  You have also come to the best message board there is!  This is the friendliest group of ladies on this message board.  Take care! :) Bren
 
December 1, 2006, 8:09 am CST

12/01 Big Weight Issues

Quote From: snglong2005

As I sit  here watching the Dr Phil show of this woman who is past a 5x size clothes I look at myself and relize that I am FAT. I hate my life and I think that I always have. I have always been overweight but as I was growing up my mother and my great aunt who was all the family I had use to tell me that I was fat that I needed to lose weight and oh the real one that always sticks out in my mind is "You have such a pretty face IF you would just lose some weight" I thought I was as big as a house untill some years ago I was going through some photos of myself back then and I was like dang I looked good back then and they had me thinking I was as big as I am right now. I married young to a man whom I love to death I had one child and with him I gained some weight. I lost some when I had him but not alot then about a year later I was pregnant again and I had twins who died. When they were forced to be born I had gained alot of weight but this time I had a hard time losing any of it. It seems that from that time on I have gradually gained weight till now here I sit watching Dr Phil wishing that I had help. Someone to support me and help me and push me to get fit and feel better. Im an currentaly going to a dr that she has me on all kinds of med one for my blood pressure one for my heart rythem  one for my cholostrol one for diabeties acid reflux I take five different ones a day. I know that there is alot out there that probably take more but Im only 40 years old and I would love before I die to be happy for which I dont believe that I get up not one single day happy. I wake up thinking oh lord another day to live ugh. I have been so depressed at time that I think that i should just take all my pills at one time and gt my life over with. I cant afford to join a gym or get anything as it is we are getting ready to lose the cable and net becauwe we cant afford it we are struggling to pay our ele and water each month becase there is no jobs in this town and people will just not hire a fat person such as me that can not stand on my feet for any length of time. I have a hip problem and my feet are numb at times. I just can not get help at all. I would love to have someone on my butt all the time forcing me to do this as I have no willpower. I sit here and watch this show today and yes I feel sorry for myself because I WANT THAT.. I want to lose this weight and it breaks my heart to see these people out there actually able to do it. HOW can someone like me who will not eat vegies and can not stand on my feel for a long time get this weight off of me. I just dont know. Im so scared that Im going to get to the point that I will not be able to walk at all. Im sorry I dont meant o vent on here this was starting about the show itself.

The next time you see your doctor, tell her all this.  First of all, weight gain is a side effect of some medications; obviously, I don't know what you're taking but make sure that that's not part of the problem.  Also, your doctor should be happy to help you come up with ways to get started.  Your weight loss would make her job easier, too, but sometimes you have to insist on help from them.

 

As far as not eating vegetables--is that a health issue or a preference issue?  Find some that you like or find new ways to prepare them so they taste better.  You'll get used to them, and there isn't really any way around them if you really want to eat better.  I ate them pretty well when I was little but I had to train myself to really enjoy them when my weight started to get kind of out of hand and now I genuinely do like them.  I also find I've lost some of my taste for sugar--I forced myself to stop buying soda and buying candy and now they don't taste nearly as good to me as they used to.  Your tastes will adjust and it will get easier.

 
December 1, 2006, 8:12 am CST

12/01 Big Weight Issues

I have no business on this board, but I felt compelled to share with the overweight moms out there with daughters.  Please forgive me for sounding blunt, but I am a blunt person, so my apologies in advance if I offend anyone.

My mother, her Mother and my aunts on that side of the family have always been obese, my mother broke a chair in my fifth grade classroom in front of the entire class and other parents, that was many years ago, but that was a moment for me I guess.  Then came the whole Genetic Component and the pregnancy thing and well.....

I have NEVER no matter how hungry I was or am for that matter, eaten more than was absolutly necessary to keep my body going, FOOD has become the enemy since I was a kid, I DO NOT enjoy eating, I only do it because I have to, I have watched these women all my life stuff themselves on junk and the weight just keep piling on, I love them dearly, and it kills me to know that they don't care enough about us to stop killing themselves.

When I was pregnant, I asked the Doctor how many more calories I would have to take in, and I would not deviate from that, and I walked everywhere, I cried when I gained more than the recommended weight, and worked like a fiend to get it off after.  I am now 37, 5'4 and weigh 110lbs.

My point to the moms, your daughters are watching you, your daughters have heard about the genetic components and they watch what YOU EAT probably more closely than you do, you might be inadvertantly be turning her away from food or you might be stting the example that will continue this vicious cycle.  We CHOOSE fast food, we CHOOSE pop and chips we CHOOSE to only sit in front of the TV or computer.

Please just think for one moment, your problem is affecting EVERYONE around you not just you, my own daughter is far from overweight, and she eats healthy, but she's a HEALTHY weight for her age 16, and I have always told her how wonderful she was and beautiful, but she scared me the day she asked why she wasn't as tiny as I was and if she didn't watch it she would be as large as her grandmother, please think before you eat.

 
December 1, 2006, 9:05 am CST

12/01 Big Weight Issues

Quote From: ceildh1

I have no business on this board, but I felt compelled to share with the overweight moms out there with daughters.  Please forgive me for sounding blunt, but I am a blunt person, so my apologies in advance if I offend anyone.

My mother, her Mother and my aunts on that side of the family have always been obese, my mother broke a chair in my fifth grade classroom in front of the entire class and other parents, that was many years ago, but that was a moment for me I guess.  Then came the whole Genetic Component and the pregnancy thing and well.....

I have NEVER no matter how hungry I was or am for that matter, eaten more than was absolutly necessary to keep my body going, FOOD has become the enemy since I was a kid, I DO NOT enjoy eating, I only do it because I have to, I have watched these women all my life stuff themselves on junk and the weight just keep piling on, I love them dearly, and it kills me to know that they don't care enough about us to stop killing themselves.

When I was pregnant, I asked the Doctor how many more calories I would have to take in, and I would not deviate from that, and I walked everywhere, I cried when I gained more than the recommended weight, and worked like a fiend to get it off after.  I am now 37, 5'4 and weigh 110lbs.

My point to the moms, your daughters are watching you, your daughters have heard about the genetic components and they watch what YOU EAT probably more closely than you do, you might be inadvertantly be turning her away from food or you might be stting the example that will continue this vicious cycle.  We CHOOSE fast food, we CHOOSE pop and chips we CHOOSE to only sit in front of the TV or computer.

Please just think for one moment, your problem is affecting EVERYONE around you not just you, my own daughter is far from overweight, and she eats healthy, but she's a HEALTHY weight for her age 16, and I have always told her how wonderful she was and beautiful, but she scared me the day she asked why she wasn't as tiny as I was and if she didn't watch it she would be as large as her grandmother, please think before you eat.

Thank you for your message - I hope it inspires alot of women. 
 
December 1, 2006, 9:16 am CST

12/01 Big Weight Issues

Quote From: snglong2005

As I sit  here watching the Dr Phil show of this woman who is past a 5x size clothes I look at myself and relize that I am FAT. I hate my life and I think that I always have. I have always been overweight but as I was growing up my mother and my great aunt who was all the family I had use to tell me that I was fat that I needed to lose weight and oh the real one that always sticks out in my mind is "You have such a pretty face IF you would just lose some weight" I thought I was as big as a house untill some years ago I was going through some photos of myself back then and I was like dang I looked good back then and they had me thinking I was as big as I am right now. I married young to a man whom I love to death I had one child and with him I gained some weight. I lost some when I had him but not alot then about a year later I was pregnant again and I had twins who died. When they were forced to be born I had gained alot of weight but this time I had a hard time losing any of it. It seems that from that time on I have gradually gained weight till now here I sit watching Dr Phil wishing that I had help. Someone to support me and help me and push me to get fit and feel better. Im an currentaly going to a dr that she has me on all kinds of med one for my blood pressure one for my heart rythem  one for my cholostrol one for diabeties acid reflux I take five different ones a day. I know that there is alot out there that probably take more but Im only 40 years old and I would love before I die to be happy for which I dont believe that I get up not one single day happy. I wake up thinking oh lord another day to live ugh. I have been so depressed at time that I think that i should just take all my pills at one time and gt my life over with. I cant afford to join a gym or get anything as it is we are getting ready to lose the cable and net becauwe we cant afford it we are struggling to pay our ele and water each month becase there is no jobs in this town and people will just not hire a fat person such as me that can not stand on my feet for any length of time. I have a hip problem and my feet are numb at times. I just can not get help at all. I would love to have someone on my butt all the time forcing me to do this as I have no willpower. I sit here and watch this show today and yes I feel sorry for myself because I WANT THAT.. I want to lose this weight and it breaks my heart to see these people out there actually able to do it. HOW can someone like me who will not eat vegies and can not stand on my feel for a long time get this weight off of me. I just dont know. Im so scared that Im going to get to the point that I will not be able to walk at all. Im sorry I dont meant o vent on here this was starting about the show itself.

You can do this.  Jennifer from the show wrote a message on here - go and read it.  LIve one minute at a time really is the key.  You only have this minute.  I learned that the hard way - and its true.  This minute to be happy. This minute to love.  This minute to laugh.  This minute to eat the right thing.  This minute to move, to walk, etc.  You ARE a beautiful woman.  Your husband would agree.  He loves you and wishes you would love yourself or see yourself the way he does. 

 
December 1, 2006, 9:28 am CST

Thank you

Quote From: flthomcat

I married 17 years ago. Over 17 years, I gained 110 pounds. The weight comes on gradually. And some people, such as myself, never really cared about "looks" or the opinions of strangers. I have always been happy w/ my husband, my children, my many friends, my co-workers, my parents and relatives, etc. I have always been outgoing, humorous and spontaneous. Life has been great for me, REGARDLESS of the weight, which is probably why I never cared to lose it (or not gain it).

 

For me, it took medical problems (Sleep apnea, Diabetes, Anemia) to decide to lose the weight. I want to live for my children. I owe it to them.  And my dear, sweet husband (who has always found me beautiful and desirable) has now admitted that he was very worried he would lose his wife. So....for others, I am losing the weight and it feels good to be back in the swing of things (lots of energy and lots more patience!).

 

People don't overeat because they are hungry. They eat out of boredom, stress, depression, etc. And the more they eat, the more depressed about themselves they become. I began overeating in my teen years when my father started being verbally and emotionally abusive. Years later, I kicked a bad smoking habit, but losing weight is 100x harder than quitting smoking. It's all about changing one's lifestyle and habits and it doesn't happen overnight (just as gaining the weight didnt). A person has to be mentally ready to lose the weight because it's a LONG, HARD journey.

 

Thanks for your question.

 

 

Wow I could have written this post exactly.  But you are a few steps further along the path.  I am 37 and it has just dawned on me.  Because we are doing major renovations on our home I got a job at a reno store for the staff discount.  I absolutely love it - I live in TLC trading spaces world everytime I go there :) which I love.  It shows because I am being trained in all depts.  Well... wow is paint heavy.  LOL  So I always say to my kids they have to be active and not on computer or games all the time - otherwise their body is just going to be like a marshmallow HAHA and I realized that I'm the biggest marshmallow of them all.  LOL  I look and feel good at my 200 lb. 5'6 self and we have a giddy, lovey 17 year marriage STILL.  But oh my goodness I am weak.  So I am going to look into a gym and am just figuring out how to do this - fit it in with my home, kids, p/t job and talking myself into believing that I am important enough to get muscle.  And I got a call from a ladies gym telling me I've won a week membership.  LOL That's my life.  It changes from one minute to the next LOL.  My husband says .... Babe your the wave I surf......  What an interesting and fun adventure.  :)  Peace.
 
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