Topic : Is This Normal?

Number of Replies: 1093
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:19:40 pm
Author : dataimport
Your partner asked you to do WHAT? Some things are taboo. Some things are common but just not discussed. Where does your sex life fit in?

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March 12, 2008, 8:27 am PDT

Is This Normal?

Quote From: dee0123

 I don't lose sleep over this..and maybe, I do overthink things..something, I'm trying to work on...I'm usually pretty good, and take things as they come..just, I'm more careful now..because, of certain things that happen recently...no one wants to get hurt..So, saying this..As a guy, you do feel I have the right or I should, tell him...about his weekends??  I feel funny about that..because, it almost feels like none of my business...I don't really have much experience in this area, as I've had mostly long term relationships..didn't do dating with this one and that  one..

Hope I remember all what you posted..I don't know how to do that cut & paste thing..But, at my age, I feel one does have to protect their hearts more..See those 'red' flags sooner...which I think I have (for me) but, it doesn't mean he's not a good person...

I just wanted to put this out there, for anyone that could give me their opinions..We had 3 dates..talked for about 2 mos..he's trying to get into a new law firm, and that takes time...and he gets busy with his interests it seems..and I think that's great, but I think it almost makes it impossible to start up a 'new' relationship..and I wish  MEN would not do that..start something, that they SHOULD KNOW they are NOT prepared for..financially, career wise (if they are busy 24/7) then, don't even go there..

I think this is what happen..he was with this woman for 16 yrs..(friends only) she was separated by NOT divorce, nor ever will according to her..they became intimate in Oct..and SHE told him to date others..because, he would like to get married one day..so, he then said he's a FREE MAN..and yet, I guess he made this plans before he ask me out..but, then why doesn't he just tell me?  That it's with this woman??  it's NO BIG deal...I told him that after our first date, I had previously made plans with someone to take a vacaton together...like, 2 mos. before..but, I told him..I text him and sent a picture while on this trip...and told him he's a friend...he lives in a different Country..and we are JUST FRIENDS and NOTHING happen..because, that was the truth..and I felt it was the right thing to do..to NOT have secrets..

But, then I get this feeling (and I could be wrong) as I said in my previous post..that when a man (in this country) goes away for a whole weekend..and goes to a OPERA not the movies..but, a OPERA not too many men like that..I figured, it's with her..and I wonder..did they share the same room?  did they sleep together?  because, he doesn't tell me anything..I didn't want to ask..I would of thought, he would just tell me..NOTHING TO HIDE, but in this case..it does seem like something IS TO BE HIDDEN..

I just feel I need to know the truth..so, I can make my plans accordingly..HE said he's calling me tonight..but, I just don't feel comfortable with waiting..because, he seems to always do that..he tells me "I will call you.....at this time"...and saying can I call you at this time?? will you be there?? 

Plus, and please don't think badly of me..but, I was thinking..that IF men play these games..I'm going along with it..I  mean, just this once..I'm going to suggest going out during the week...I will meet him somewhere..I will wear my sexiest dress or clothes..(and drive him nuts LOL) and see his reaction..make him think, IF not telling me about this past weekend was worth it..espeically, IF he had sex with her..I'm tired of men playing THEIR games, with me..and leaving me feeling bad..it's time, they get a dose of their own medicine.. LOL..

I somewhat would love to get even...in  a playful way...like, SEE this is what you gave up..to be with another woman...and I was wasn't worth the wait???????  Excuse, me IF I repeat..but, our 3rd date was last Tues..before, his weekend away..(this weekend) he started getting a little more romantic with me in the movies..he held my hand, and carassed it..stroking my arm and shoulders..then, pulled my hair away from my face..he was sweet and respectful!  then, I kissed him good night..so, I think we got a little closer..and he said things to me..about being a couple..and that HE LIKED ME A LOT..but, after that..IF he slept with another woman OR that woman..it's over for me..I"m I wrong??

Thank You,

Dee

hey I read your post but I don't have the time now to respond, I'll do that as soon as I can.

 

xx Oet Gäöl

 
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March 12, 2008, 11:51 am PDT

women: how to deal with ED

    I have the most amazing man in my life, I am lucky to have him. We have be together 3 months and the sex is normally great. Occasionally there is a mishap, but it is not that big of a deal. If he loses his erection or can't get hard enough, he always takes care of me orally or otherwise. We have talked about it and I know it's not my fault. I just hate when I can't satisfy him.  My question is: is there anything I can do to satisfy him in some way replace the need when we do have a problem? What do you do after he can't get it up?
 
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March 12, 2008, 2:34 pm PDT

WOW, please excuse my long post..

Quote From: oet_gaol

hey I read your post but I don't have the time now to respond, I'll do that as soon as I can.

 

xx Oet Gäöl

sorry, everyone...about that..  :)

Take care,

Dee
 
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March 14, 2008, 7:08 am PDT

Is This Normal?

Quote From: dee0123

 I don't lose sleep over this..and maybe, I do overthink things..something, I'm trying to work on...I'm usually pretty good, and take things as they come..just, I'm more careful now..because, of certain things that happen recently...no one wants to get hurt..So, saying this..As a guy, you do feel I have the right or I should, tell him...about his weekends??  I feel funny about that..because, it almost feels like none of my business...I don't really have much experience in this area, as I've had mostly long term relationships..didn't do dating with this one and that  one..

Hope I remember all what you posted..I don't know how to do that cut & paste thing..But, at my age, I feel one does have to protect their hearts more..See those 'red' flags sooner...which I think I have (for me) but, it doesn't mean he's not a good person...

I just wanted to put this out there, for anyone that could give me their opinions..We had 3 dates..talked for about 2 mos..he's trying to get into a new law firm, and that takes time...and he gets busy with his interests it seems..and I think that's great, but I think it almost makes it impossible to start up a 'new' relationship..and I wish  MEN would not do that..start something, that they SHOULD KNOW they are NOT prepared for..financially, career wise (if they are busy 24/7) then, don't even go there..

I think this is what happen..he was with this woman for 16 yrs..(friends only) she was separated by NOT divorce, nor ever will according to her..they became intimate in Oct..and SHE told him to date others..because, he would like to get married one day..so, he then said he's a FREE MAN..and yet, I guess he made this plans before he ask me out..but, then why doesn't he just tell me?  That it's with this woman??  it's NO BIG deal...I told him that after our first date, I had previously made plans with someone to take a vacaton together...like, 2 mos. before..but, I told him..I text him and sent a picture while on this trip...and told him he's a friend...he lives in a different Country..and we are JUST FRIENDS and NOTHING happen..because, that was the truth..and I felt it was the right thing to do..to NOT have secrets..

But, then I get this feeling (and I could be wrong) as I said in my previous post..that when a man (in this country) goes away for a whole weekend..and goes to a OPERA not the movies..but, a OPERA not too many men like that..I figured, it's with her..and I wonder..did they share the same room?  did they sleep together?  because, he doesn't tell me anything..I didn't want to ask..I would of thought, he would just tell me..NOTHING TO HIDE, but in this case..it does seem like something IS TO BE HIDDEN..

I just feel I need to know the truth..so, I can make my plans accordingly..HE said he's calling me tonight..but, I just don't feel comfortable with waiting..because, he seems to always do that..he tells me "I will call you.....at this time"...and saying can I call you at this time?? will you be there?? 

Plus, and please don't think badly of me..but, I was thinking..that IF men play these games..I'm going along with it..I  mean, just this once..I'm going to suggest going out during the week...I will meet him somewhere..I will wear my sexiest dress or clothes..(and drive him nuts LOL) and see his reaction..make him think, IF not telling me about this past weekend was worth it..espeically, IF he had sex with her..I'm tired of men playing THEIR games, with me..and leaving me feeling bad..it's time, they get a dose of their own medicine.. LOL..

I somewhat would love to get even...in  a playful way...like, SEE this is what you gave up..to be with another woman...and I was wasn't worth the wait???????  Excuse, me IF I repeat..but, our 3rd date was last Tues..before, his weekend away..(this weekend) he started getting a little more romantic with me in the movies..he held my hand, and carassed it..stroking my arm and shoulders..then, pulled my hair away from my face..he was sweet and respectful!  then, I kissed him good night..so, I think we got a little closer..and he said things to me..about being a couple..and that HE LIKED ME A LOT..but, after that..IF he slept with another woman OR that woman..it's over for me..I"m I wrong??

Thank You,

Dee

What long post? have you read any of mine? :-P I just have a busy schedual at the moment that's all... can't really make sense if I'm really tired...

 

Well you say that his career takes up a lot of time now, I know that that might feel unjust to you that he displays his interest while he doesn't have the time. But love happens to men so a man won't think if it is the right thing at that moment but he just want's to get to know a beautifull woman he sees. Instinct can be very strong at times.

 

Well then you say you didn't ask him about the weekends. Why don't you? Men often aren't that thoughtfull and see that it seems as if they are hiding something. He might just feel that the trip was to boring to discuss. And yess not many men are into opera but there are some who are into it and not all are gay as the stereotype suggests.

 

How did the call go btw?

 

And I don't think that playing games is the best way of dating but he probably won't mind you driving him nuts though... (I know that was just a fantasy of you though sorry I hooked in so seriously)

 

Still I think that you should let him fill in the blanks in steads of you it makes things a lot easier for the both of you. (if he still avoids answering you can always draw conclusions from that...)

 

 

 
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March 14, 2008, 7:15 am PDT

Is This Normal?

Quote From: vivianfrancis

    I have the most amazing man in my life, I am lucky to have him. We have be together 3 months and the sex is normally great. Occasionally there is a mishap, but it is not that big of a deal. If he loses his erection or can't get hard enough, he always takes care of me orally or otherwise. We have talked about it and I know it's not my fault. I just hate when I can't satisfy him.  My question is: is there anything I can do to satisfy him in some way replace the need when we do have a problem? What do you do after he can't get it up?

Well strictly biological speaking he doesn't need a (full) erection to get an orgasm. you can still stimulate his penis to the point of orgasm, though he might not like you touching his penis when he can't get it up. (most men feel it is part of there manhood you get the idea)

 

the other thing you can do is a little bit more adventerus, but it is not for everyone. You could try to stimulate his prostate and give him an orgasm that way. Only thing is that you will have to reach it via the anus. you can do it either by hand or buy a sex toy designed for it. In any case take it slow and use lots of lube to avoid injuries. (some women also prefer it so you could try it aswell.)

 

But also the sex in itself is more important then orgasm both men and women feel that way overall so just being there with him might be enough for when it doesn't go up.

 
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March 15, 2008, 2:51 pm PDT

Hi, sorry about the long posts :)

Quote From: oet_gaol

What long post? have you read any of mine? :-P I just have a busy schedual at the moment that's all... can't really make sense if I'm really tired...

 

Well you say that his career takes up a lot of time now, I know that that might feel unjust to you that he displays his interest while he doesn't have the time. But love happens to men so a man won't think if it is the right thing at that moment but he just want's to get to know a beautifull woman he sees. Instinct can be very strong at times.

 

Well then you say you didn't ask him about the weekends. Why don't you? Men often aren't that thoughtfull and see that it seems as if they are hiding something. He might just feel that the trip was to boring to discuss. And yess not many men are into opera but there are some who are into it and not all are gay as the stereotype suggests.

 

How did the call go btw?

 

And I don't think that playing games is the best way of dating but he probably won't mind you driving him nuts though... (I know that was just a fantasy of you though sorry I hooked in so seriously)

 

Still I think that you should let him fill in the blanks in steads of you it makes things a lot easier for the both of you. (if he still avoids answering you can always draw conclusions from that...)

 

 

I'm at the library, and I'm about to lose my time for the computer..so, I'll answer it either tonight or tomorrow ok?  thanks for reading my posts..and don't worry, I understand

 

Dee

 
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March 15, 2008, 7:31 pm PDT

Hi

Quote From: oet_gaol

What long post? have you read any of mine? :-P I just have a busy schedual at the moment that's all... can't really make sense if I'm really tired...

 

Well you say that his career takes up a lot of time now, I know that that might feel unjust to you that he displays his interest while he doesn't have the time. But love happens to men so a man won't think if it is the right thing at that moment but he just want's to get to know a beautifull woman he sees. Instinct can be very strong at times.

 

Well then you say you didn't ask him about the weekends. Why don't you? Men often aren't that thoughtfull and see that it seems as if they are hiding something. He might just feel that the trip was to boring to discuss. And yess not many men are into opera but there are some who are into it and not all are gay as the stereotype suggests.

 

How did the call go btw?

 

And I don't think that playing games is the best way of dating but he probably won't mind you driving him nuts though... (I know that was just a fantasy of you though sorry I hooked in so seriously)

 

Still I think that you should let him fill in the blanks in steads of you it makes things a lot easier for the both of you. (if he still avoids answering you can always draw conclusions from that...)

 

 

Thank You for your posts, and yes I DO read EVERTHING!  every word..Anyway, I didn't get together with him..and yes, it was my hurt feelings/angry talking..I know me, and I know I wouldn't of done anything about it..Even, though I'll tell you...there's times when (and I'm sorry) but, some GUYS certainly do need to be taught a lesson, because of how badly they treat women..and I know it works both ways..just, I'm a woman..and I've too many things happen to me lately..

 

What I honestly feel now, what happen..Now, that I'm over this..Is he liked me..and we talked, and I ask him about this older woman..because, we belong to the same site..and he said, that they broke up in

Dec..that he wanted to meet someone and marry one day..and the older woman, didn't want to get a divorce..so, they ended things.and SHE SAID TO HIM, to go date others..so, I thought he would of told her he did..ME..but, aparently he didn't because, thats one thing I ask.....after he said, it's over..(after that weekend)..and from now on, ALL The weekends are for us..that he doesn't even find her interesting..she's MUCH MUCH OLDER..and that it's ME he wanted to be with, and discuss where our relationships is going..but, I told him ok...then, did YOU tell her this?  did you tell her, that YOU have met ME..and that you want to see where this is going??  he said   NO........... he didn't tell her that?  what the heck???  he doesn't want to hurt HER?  or what?  wants to keep her on the side, just in case WE don't work out??  that's WRONG..well, to me that's wrong..and I told him it's wrong..that YOU and HER are being intimate and she's still married..UNDER the law and GOD..

 

Anyway, he basically knows what he did to me..and I won't be hearing from him again..and like I said, he told me what can HE DO now..to win back my trust?  to make it up to me..I said, "what you need to do is go away, and search deep into your soul, and see what YOU want"...IF it's this woman..then, perhaps you need to just accept the fact..she doesn't plan on getting a divorce..it's better that way financially for her..I said, HE needs to figure things out..

 

Dee

 
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March 16, 2008, 4:48 am PDT

Is This Normal?

Quote From: dee0123

Thank You for your posts, and yes I DO read EVERTHING!  every word..Anyway, I didn't get together with him..and yes, it was my hurt feelings/angry talking..I know me, and I know I wouldn't of done anything about it..Even, though I'll tell you...there's times when (and I'm sorry) but, some GUYS certainly do need to be taught a lesson, because of how badly they treat women..and I know it works both ways..just, I'm a woman..and I've too many things happen to me lately..

 

What I honestly feel now, what happen..Now, that I'm over this..Is he liked me..and we talked, and I ask him about this older woman..because, we belong to the same site..and he said, that they broke up in

Dec..that he wanted to meet someone and marry one day..and the older woman, didn't want to get a divorce..so, they ended things.and SHE SAID TO HIM, to go date others..so, I thought he would of told her he did..ME..but, aparently he didn't because, thats one thing I ask.....after he said, it's over..(after that weekend)..and from now on, ALL The weekends are for us..that he doesn't even find her interesting..she's MUCH MUCH OLDER..and that it's ME he wanted to be with, and discuss where our relationships is going..but, I told him ok...then, did YOU tell her this?  did you tell her, that YOU have met ME..and that you want to see where this is going??  he said   NO........... he didn't tell her that?  what the heck???  he doesn't want to hurt HER?  or what?  wants to keep her on the side, just in case WE don't work out??  that's WRONG..well, to me that's wrong..and I told him it's wrong..that YOU and HER are being intimate and she's still married..UNDER the law and GOD..

 

Anyway, he basically knows what he did to me..and I won't be hearing from him again..and like I said, he told me what can HE DO now..to win back my trust?  to make it up to me..I said, "what you need to do is go away, and search deep into your soul, and see what YOU want"...IF it's this woman..then, perhaps you need to just accept the fact..she doesn't plan on getting a divorce..it's better that way financially for her..I said, HE needs to figure things out..

 

Dee

Well then I think you made the right decision. If he isn't really over her he can't start a relationship with you. Don't give up hope though there a still a lot of fish in the sea and most of em are good guys. I wish you luck with your next catch :-D I hope that he'll be good to you.

 

xx Oet Gäöl

 

Oh and yes some men should be thought a lesson (not that all women are innocent either though :-) )

 
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March 16, 2008, 2:12 pm PDT

Hi Oet Gaol..

Quote From: oet_gaol

Well then I think you made the right decision. If he isn't really over her he can't start a relationship with you. Don't give up hope though there a still a lot of fish in the sea and most of em are good guys. I wish you luck with your next catch :-D I hope that he'll be good to you.

 

xx Oet Gäöl

 

Oh and yes some men should be thought a lesson (not that all women are innocent either though :-) )

You're right, not all women are innocent and does a lot of hurtful things as well..I'm not sure IF he's over her or not, I'm just thinking he is messed up or something..but, that's not my problem..and I didn't hear from him, I'm thinking (and this is just my feeling) he's afraid to call me now..because, how I slam him on the phone..I told him EXACTLY what kind of person he and his woman is..but, when he told me what can he do for make it up to me..All I said, is to go and figure what exactly he wants for his life..and although, I DO feel 'some' men deserve some 'pay back', just to teach them that it's NOT right to treat another person like this..but, in the end..I know me, and it's just not worth it..I've moved on  :)

 

But, I admit it would of been 'fun' doing what I had planned to do..but, I know now, that by doing that..it would keep me in that same place..for which, I want to just move forward..But, it certainly does make a woman afraid to even talk to another man..but, I think, I've learned SO MUCH and smarter for it..just to me, I would like to keep some friends along the way..and I thought at first, I could with him..because, he did have some really good qualities that I liked..and who knows, maybe I"ll give it time..and IF he ever contacts me (because I'll never contact him) perhaps, I'll talk and listen..and maybe, we can go back to being JUST FRIENDS..(of course without benefits lol)...but, I'd like to think I can keep someone as a FRIEND ONLY..so, that would mean..that there's NO holding hands, NO being affectionate..and NO kissing.maybe, on the cheek only..I wonder IF he could do that..I could...   :)

 

Dee

 
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March 19, 2008, 7:23 am PDT

Is my fiance normal

Hi everyone, I'm Taneisha and I have a huge problem with my sex  life with my fiance.  It seems that everytime we have sex I get 1 or maybe 2 orgasm but my fiance hardly ever get his way.  When he does it's really quick and fast and when I want to go again he doesn't.   I asked him if I wasn't satisfying him and he denied it, but am I really not satisfying him or does he just have a problem?
 

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