Topic : Is This Normal?

I don't know if you read what you wrote but the second line is

"I was never particularly physically attracted to him."

So your not attracted to him & forcing yourself to have sex with him. Of course your going to be fighting back tears. I don't know how old you are but it sounds like you are dying to have some good sex with someone you are lusting for.

What to do?

You need to break up with him, if he is such a good guy he deserves to be with someone who is attracted to him, by fooling him you are not only robbing yourself of fulfilling sex lift, your robbing him of being with someone who really wants to be with him.

Don't fool yourself that because you have a emotional connaction thats enough for a relationship. Thats only part of it. You deserve to be fullfilled, & so does he.

Attraction is not something you can fix in councling, it is or it isn't.

Yes, what you did was wrong. Thats your child. I don't care if she was 95. Thats your baby girl that your husband just asked to have sex with. Forget it's just "talk" he was trying to act on that talk. So he thinks so little of you that he would try to have sex with your baby girl. Thats a sick man, & you deserve better. Your child needs to know that even though she is 25 you are still her mommy & can still protect her, at the least from the sexual advances of her own husband.

You know, as I do, that most of the dirty stuff we think stays in our heads, in the intrest of getting along we keep all that to ourselves. So I'm sure you see what I'm getting at here. He could masturbate all he wants & think of her, heck he could be thinking of her when you two are having sex, there is no way you could ever know, no way to ever find out, no way to prove anything.

Why did he have to use the picture. Why did he leave it in the bathroom where he KNEW you would find it. Why did he admit to using at at a wank tool when he could have laughed it off with you. Thats a serious attack on you as a woman, on your age, on you sexualty. Thats saying some nasty stuff about him. Get him into councling if you want to find out all the rest of the nasty things he has done, & belive me he has, leaving out the picture is just going to be the tip of the iceburg.

Let it happen naturaly.

In the time you were appart he may have been engaging in high risk sexual behavors & was worried to explain that to you & expose you? He may be sure of himself now.

If this sexless life continues then talk to him & see a councler.

good luck

WHAT!!!!???

Okay, I can tell from the years added up in your post that your a women in your prime & you should know better then to enter into a yucky sex marrage. So I'm going to assume that he was not like thins when you guys where dating, because if he was, what did you expect to happen, magical change? Anyway...

This guy is gross. Issues with sex being dirty, has to shower BEFORE & clean off after. Wont touch your jucy mouth, your lovely wet place, JERK! Seems scared of his own seed. I just hate this guy...

He can't even place a peck on your mouth?!?

Thats really messed up. You two need councling so bad. I wonder what else you two are at a stand off about.

Dump himif he refuses to go to councling. That is NOT NORMAL.

ps: "show me that you want it"

I'm outraged, so controling, he basicly has you as a slave to empty himself into. "Beg for it, beg to be degraded"

Because thats really degrading & you should not be put in that place by the man who is suppose to be your best friend.

You know, I would like to think you are over reacting. But you made it clear to him this was an issue word for you, that you would not tolarate it in any fashion & thats what the problem is. But you have to lookat form another stand point, stuff just comes out during sex, we make weird noises, grunt & moan, hoot & holler. Have you never said something strange, something that suprised you even as it came out of your own mouth? He ovbiously feels bad, I would try & explore why someone you trust letting a bit of agressive sexuality out scares you so much.

Now if a "friend" called me a bitch for having an oppinion I would show him just how opinated I could get, but if my man dirty talked I would hope I could make the distinction.

I agree with this 100%. Being drunk is no excuse for trying to sexually engadge your own daughter. I can guarantee you that he did want to do more than just talk to her about being sexual, and I'm sure that he would want to take no ownership of it and just blame it on the drink.

Honestly, I don't blame your daughter for being angry. Her own mother just chose to side with a perverse drunk instead of protecting her. I wouldn't be surpised if she feels like you value a relationship with him, someone who does sick things and blames anything but himself, instead of a mother/child relationship in which neither of you even think about sexual activity with eachother. I'm sure she feels hurt and betrayed that you even allow him to still be in your life.

I have been married for 18 years, and for the last 5-6 years our sex life has been going downhill.  For the last 2 years, my husband and I have had sex 4 times in total.  the last time was over 6 months ago.  When I bring it up, he states that he is in pain (back) and that he is not in the mood because of it.  When we have had sex, it was I who pretty much begged for it.  I can't fdo that anymore.  The other day I caught him looking at reagular and then kinky porn for 5 hours as soon as I left the house.  The type of porn really bothers me - it started out as women and heterosexual couples in hard core positions and then it took a left turn and stayed there to she-male explicit sites for over 3 hours.  When I confronted him with it, he said it was not that long and that he was only curious.  He also said he fell asleep in the middle, but my evidence does not show that, it shows concious clicking every 30 seconds.  Is this commonplace?  Is he gay? How can I get over the hurt.  He says he loves me, but I feel invisible and undesirable.