Topic : Is This Normal?

My wife and I have been married for 10 years.  We have a wonderful marriage with 2 wonderful little boys.  I have always had the craving to go down on her which has happened maybe four or five times since we have been together.  And when she has let me do it, she has really seemed to enjoy it.  I have slowly been working with her to open up and relax but it seems to not be working.  I really enjoy this, it makes me feel close to her like nothing else.  I am not asking for anything in return.  But she insists that it is gross and does not want to let me.   

I can not comprehend a woman not wanting this, could it be possible that there is another or other hidden issues she may be avoiding? 

yeah...i wasnt really aware about the hymen thing until this boyfriend of mine had explained to me... all i heard was it does hurt and bleed and need time to heal again before go at it again.... 

im just glad that he understood and be able to have all his patience with me at the first time....and most of all and made our night "special".... 

thanks for ur reply and that helps me. 

take care, also 

I had to move from a home where a PI had put a 6 low uhf feq Camera in our bedroom after i was hurt on the job.Scary i cant have sex with my wife any more.. I know alot about electronics and is part of my profession at one time i am retired for now at 45 to calm down now the place we just moved to i found 2 cameras in my home..My Mental doctor had told me after 2 years of this its going to take a long time to trust people agian.My freinds say i am peronoid...or scared????I suffer from Bipolar and adhd.has anyone had a Lawyer cast the Infamous story on them?????What does it mean when NYState Vesid Person says i have a lot of Allies??? if you want to email me you can NYGuitarjb@aol.com  

Thanks for taking out the time to read this 

 girlfriend !!go get a minny tape recorder. 12$ @walmart, best investment you make. since this man has no problem raping you, tape it. since he likes to get you face down , unfortunatly, place the tape 

recorder close , between the matress, tape to bed. where ever you may think he,s gona get you, 

set the tape player on longest play. turn the button to vor. makes it motion detector, will only play when there is noise. Do dry runs, place it as you need to get the voice volume. cover the red on light with tape, so he cant see it.  

If you can capture his own words and sounds be safe, that,is#1 you are #1 you deserve to live without feer in your home. 

this man rapes you because he can. Stop him because you can. 

   be safe, if he is gonna do his thing, you do yours. 

I have written in the diary section of this sight, write, i will see it.. 

be safe. 

 JANINEE go get a minny tape recorder. 12$ @walmart, best investment you make. since this man has no problem raping you, tape it. since he likes to get you face down , unfortunatly, place the tape 

recorder close , between the matress, tape to bed. where ever you may think he,s gona get you, 

set the tape player on longest play. turn the button to vor. makes it motion detector, will only play when there is noise. Do dry runs, place it as you need to get the voice volume. cover the red on light with tape, so he cant see it.  

If you can capture his own words and sounds be safe, that,is#1 you are #1 you deserve to live without feer in your home. 

this man rapes you because he can. Stop him because you can. 

   be safe, if he is gonna do his thing, you do yours. 

I have written in the diary section of this sight, write, i will see it.. 

be safe. 

I am married to my "first Love" after 40 years of going our separate ways!  He pushed me away when we were younger saying that "it was him, not me"!  Of course, I didn't believe that!  I was sure that I had done something wrong or was not quite pretty enough or something.  All these years later and after lots of failed relationships, he and I reconnected.  His Mom says that he never loved anyone but me (explaining his never marrying) and he says that he was waiting for me.  He never tried to contact me, saying he thought I was happy.  To make a long story short, I contacted him after my divorce and we emailed and talked and dated for 3 years and then got married during the holiday time in 2004. 

He and I have NEVER had sex.  He showed no interest while we were dating and therefore we had a few discussions about my needs.  He said that he understood and that we would be "fine" after we got married.  Well..... nothing has changed. 

I have been patient with him because I love him.  But he is preoccupied with HIS life and routine. He pushes me away if I turn to him for any affection.  I can't tell you how devasting this is for me. I love him and am very attracted to him physically.  To me he is the best looking man on earth.  He always has been to me!!  In spite of the fact that he tells me he loves me and that I am the only thing important to him, he still shows no affection to me. 

He cannot sleep in the bed if I am there.  He can't watch TV if I move my foot.  He can't read on the internet if I am in the room and click the mouse of my computer (therefore, I can't use my computer at all since he spends most of his time on the computer).  He can't visit with his Mom if I go with him because he says I am a distraction and turn the visit into a "visit".  (His parents live next to us and we care for them and take care of their daily needs) 

Someone else mentioned that affection is different than sex for women and that is exactly right!!  I would be the happiest woman on earth if there were the slightest hint of affection from him.  We have a guest house and I have come to spend most of my time there, just trying to be where I am not making him uncomfortable.  If he would just WANT to be near me and hold me, if he would lay with me and talk to me and make me feel "special" to him, I'd be thrilled!  It's not about intercourse, it's about loving me and making me feel safe and wanted. 

What do I do?  HELP!  I'm drowning!  I sold my house and gave up a great job to be with him but I am alone!  He refuses to even merge our finances and has made it clear that he doesn't want my name on his land or home.  I feel afraid and terribly insecure with him.  I have expressed my concerns to him and he said that he thought that "all I wanted was him."  To which I respond, yes, all I want IS him and it seems pretty clear now that I will never have him! 

Does anyone have any advice?