Topic : Is This Normal?

I forgot about advice however. Try spicing it up. If you are not opposed to this, I would say try buying some VERY skimpy lingerie, maybe something see thru or things that don't cover up much at all. You can also try doing this without any clothes except maybe wear some sexy high heels just for fun. Then show yourself off in front of him. Do a little sexy dance, which includes an aggressive lapdance and see if that gets him reved up. Send him a sexy E-mail or note, even a voicemail (if he has a private voicemail) that says how much you can't wait to make love to him. Be as explicit as he likes, so you know you are turning him on. If the children are not home walk around the house naked. If he is in the shower, join him and have a little "fun" with him. It can be sex or just playing with each other's bodies. Sleep naked, try toys, foods, talk dirty, rub up against him (when its appropriate of course) even if you don't have time for sex at that moment its something for him to think about until later. Don't get lazy, keep him lusting after you. Its possible even 22 years later and others will envy you. Find out everything he likes sexually. I'm a single man, no girlfriend and no kids but if I had a wife I would love it if she did things like that and would definitely "recognize"  and "want" her even more. So I have a good idea of what men want. I don't know if this applies but sometimes a woman's weight gain especially after having 3 children prevents a man from having sex with his wife. So, if you think it is, try a sensible diet if you can but don't starve yourself or anything like that. You didn't say how strong your sex drive is, how much you want to do it and how often he wants to do it but if you want it more, being creative and open as possible may keep him turned on and wanting you more and more because it never gets "routine" with you even after 22 years. Sexually ideas are infinite and you can never run out, read books, watch videos, ask people on here and come up with new ideas yourself. Old ideas, things you've done many times before are never boring if you enjoy it but nothing wrong with new things either. Hope this helps. If you want more suggestions lets me know. 

  

I agree men are different and maybe I should point out more what I need as well as what he needs. Thanks for the advice I want to enjoy sex snd have a good healthy relationship in every way. I wonder sometimes how to bring it up wiyhout hurting his feelings? Any suggestions?

Thanks for the advice and just answering me and letting me know someone took time out for me. When you're having self-esteem problems anyway that helps more than you know.  That weekend get-away sounds great. Should I take him along, though? All by myself for a couple of days sounds nice. He can watch the kids that long and clean, do laundry, run errands,pay bills,get everyone off to church(baths,clothes,etc.) prepare meals and check in on my elderly mother for me, do her shopping and errands...............yeah I'm liking that idea pretty good. Thanks for the tip! That's a good project for me.(hehe!) Then I'll consider taking him next time.

My husband and I have been through so hard times. I am not sure if I can handel this one though... I found out that my husband was having phone sex with girls, younger girls. Ofen times while I was in bed sleeping! We have had a lot of things to discuss and think about. We decided that we would give it another try, and get some counceling. So for the first 2 weeks following, the sex, communication, everything was so much better. Now its gone back to being the same crap. We said no more than 10 words to each other tonight. I dressed in sexy pj's, no response. A needless to say we have not set up any counceling. I feel unwanted.

I don't know how young you are, or your husband, or how young these phone sex "girls" you are talking about, but if they are underage,  counseling should be mandatory. I too don't know what the laws are as far as this type of behavior if they are under age, but if they are, your husband may very well have more problems than just the desire to talk. 

  

I am going to assume that these "girls" are women, just younger women. You need to decide what you are wanting done in this situation. Are you wanting a divorce if he doesn't stop? Are you wanting to attempt to work things out if he is not willing to go to counseling? These are things you need to stop and think about, and decide where you want your life to go. You need to be asking yourself, and then have a talk with him and attempt to find the answers to what makes him do this instead of attempting to focus on your marriage? I am certainly not placing any blame on you, but you need to ask if either have become complacent in the marriage from the doldrums that happen sometimes in a marriage? Are both of you expending the kind of energy that it takes to keep the interest alive in a marriage? 

  

If you are wanting a divorce, you need to seek counsel of a lawyer, and see where you stand from a legal stand point, before going any further. After that, you will have ammunition to talk to him about, and let him know that if his behavior doesn't change, this is what you are going to do, no more discussion about it. 

  

I know you feel unappreciated, and unwanted at this point, but realize this is your husband's decision, and he would probably be doing this no matter who he was with.  Communications is the cornerstone of any relationship, and you need to find a way, which therapy is one way to do this, to open up the communications between you and your husband, and both need to be honest with each other as to what happened to the excitement that has wained in your relationship. 

  

Both of you, talking together, need to think of ways to bring the excitement back in your marriage, and to rekindle the fires that were there at the beginning. All of this will be difficult if he is not going to be a willing participant. If he is not, well you are back at the point of knowing what you do want. Are you willing to put up with this behavior? 

  

If he is not willing to open up and get to the bottom of this, and you are not willing to put up with this behavior, then you are at an impasse, and need to think about turning to the future without him. You could be unwanted by him, but that does not mean you could not make a new start, and find someone who would want/appreciate you. 

  

I hope this helps. Good luck. 

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 7 months and things are finally getting back to the way it was if not better before we almost broke up a couple months ago due to my insecurities.  My issue now is that he recently put up a calender of women who are barely wearing a thread of clothing/bathing suit to cover their privates in his bathroom and this really offends me, for one it's degrading to women and is treating them as dumb sex objects since they are practically in sexual positions and two, it's a big fat reminder that I don't have a body like that nor will I ever.  It's probably just a guy-thing and no big deal to him but out of respect for me he should take it down while I am there, so I don't know if I should say anything or not and risk getting into another disagreement and have him think that I'm being insecure again.

You are wanting your boyfriend, to hide things from you, when you come over, as it might make you feel insecure? I think  you have more problems than insecurities.  

 

You can try to sell that same ole thing about it degrades  women; it degrades the men that purchase them, as the women are paid to pose for these, it is the men that are spending their hard earned cash for them. You even say "barely wearing a thread," okay that means these women were not even nude, and they are in HIS house! And lastly you say. "it's a big fat reminder that I don't have a body like that nor will I ever." Don't you see this whole post is more about your own insecurities than anything to do with a calendar? 

 

If you can't handle your man looking at "pictures" of women that look more attractive, have better bodies curvier than yours, then maybe you need to wear a sleep mask anytime you are with him, get rid of him as that has been his choice, or else work on your self esteem. There are going to be better looking women in the world, with better looking bodies, or have better boobs, or legs, or make more money, have a nicer car than you, but that doesn't say anything about you, and who you are.  

 

The problem you are describing is your problem, not his. He is with you by choice, unless your father is a mafia type person that is making him be with you. He obviously cares or he would not put up with the silly behavior you describe yourself going through, so be happy, Stop worrying about the picture on his calendar, and start worrying about what you can do to make the relationship better, while hopefully he will be doing the same thing. 

 

I hope this  gives you some food for thought. Good luck 

Why don't you get it????   

  

Why do you choose guys like that?  Are you stubborn or just stupid?  You will never change a guy like that.  You chose him because he was a challenge to you and you wanted to change him.  You won't.  You will constantly be disappointed. 

  

I don't have nudie calendars and I don't have sympathy for chicks who choose guys who DO have nudie calendars.  I open doors for women (but expect them to thank me,because that's what a LADY does).  I don't watch porn because it's waste of time. 

  

YES, I AM STRAIGHT. 

  

If you choose a guy who has these things, you have no one to blame but yourself.  Get  a grip. 

 While he may be purchasing the calander and hanging it up, I am sure he is aware that the pictures in those things, along with the magazines they sometimes come out of, are airbrushed to look better.  My husband has subscriptions to two mens mags.  (fhm, maxim, which I got him for Christmas).  I enjoy reading them as well as him, and in some of the articles, the women even admit that their pictures are airbrushed.  Have you noticed that the women have perfect skin, and not a single dimple on their bodies?  Airbrushing.  You don't need to be looking at the calendar and thinking that they are perfect, and your not.  If it is that bad, don't go to the bathroom in his place.  The pictures are not degrading, it is a job for the women.  Do you have any idea how much these women get paid for that stuff?  You are being insecure.  It doesn't matter if you are 100lbs or 1000lbs, he is chosing to be with you, for you, for what you have on the inside.  If you were to ask any man, and get an honest response, they would tell you they would rather be with a woman who is real, and looks real, and acts real, than be with a woman from one of those caladers.  You need to start seeing yourself as the beautiful person you are, and realize that noone is perfect.