Topic : Is This Normal?

FIVE years with NO intimacy?????  Good gravy hun - you must be half-crazy by now!!  If your husband isn't willing to forgive and try to reestablish intimacy with you, then maybe it is time to move on and find some intimacy with someone else.  Dang - you are only 3 years older than me and that is WAY too young to have NO sex life!! 

FYI - the fantasy you have IS a totally normal one.  Many women have it - the thought of being 'ravaged' (without real pain of course) is an exciting one because it is totally giving up control to someone else (of course this is only a viable option with someone you really trust).  btw - many men also fantasize about this.

Best wishes to you Brook - I hope you are able to find someone you trust and love enough to have your intimacy needs met - and also your fantasies!!!  :)  Roxy

I feel for you. It is easy to dream of sex when we don't have the real thing. My husband died over a year ago so I'm missing it too. But your husband is alive and now you just have to figure out what needs to be done to mend the relationship and get on the same page. Hopefully he is willing to try.

Don't settle for nothing. Show him you are still interested and desire sex with him. Start with extra long hugs and kisses. Draw close to him. Be willing to go against the way things have been going. Do you need to forgive yourself so you can feel like you deserve sex? Be the agressor and see if he responds. It will feel awkward at first. At least it will get the ball rolling in the right direction. 

I wouldn't go for the experimental stuff just yet. He may have a hard time responding sexually at first but you can both manually stimulate each other with your hand and take it from there. Try just rolling over on top of him and slide him in to show him different can be good too.

At one point in my marriage my husband wanted to try new stuff and I balked at the idea. I don't know why. I felt like he was bringing in some other experience he had with someone else even though I knew this wasn't the case. It wasn't us (yet anyway). I think if I knew exactly what he wanted I might have tried something new. I don't like ruts either. That was probably the other part, in an indirect way, he was saying he was bored with me or what we were doing and I reacted to that. 

I hope you give your husband another chance. Get his attention with a good meal, a favorite perfume, or just eye contact. Who knows, maybe he's ready to respond! Good luck!

My wife ( of three years) got up at 0430 last week to tell me she does not like having sex and does not want me to have any either. The news flash came one day after she told me she felt she was sexually neglecting me. I became irate, and she did not understand why I was upset.

glad to hear back from you.  LOL @ your first sentence - that cracked me up!!  Echo what you said, don't keep putting yourself out there and being vulnerable to him.  He has shown you how he will react to that - there doesn't appear to be a dang thing you can do to establish a healthy, loving sex life with him.  I think you are right to no longer make yourself available to be hurt - and I especially like that the words you post now show that you KNOW it is HIS problem and not yours.  You really recognize and anticipate that you can have an 'earth moving' sex life with someone else.  :) 

I totally understand the choice you make for now to stay, because of housing and your D.  I hope you do continue though, to seek out a chance to get out on your own, even taking into account your D's needs for remaining in the same school. 

If I gave you some hope for your future - then that is a gift to me.  Does that make sense?  Maybe not - but it is extremely gratifying to know you found words that touched someone else.  Please DO stay in touch and let me know how things go for you.  I can't wait to feel 'the Earth move'!!  :)  Hugs and best wishes to ya Brook, Roxy

hello everyone. I Just wanted to knoe if someone could advice o tell me  what to do?

I've been married for 4 years but my husband never  comes inside me, (penetration) we have oral sex and i feel that is really difficult for him. He really concentrates or think in something..... I don'n know. I looked on the internet for possibles causes but there isn't any  relate to this. i think in something physicological from his early years, but he doesn't talk about it, and when i said we need help, i said WE  no YOU. he doesn't collaborate. I don't know how i can talk to him in order to be open and accept he has a problem. He also watched porn( all kind  of it).

I am really lost :(