Topic : Is This Normal?

I have been married for about 4 years now and we have 2 kids, 20mo and 1mo.  After our first one was born I lost ALL intrest in having sex.  I didn't even want my husband to touch me.  Finally I 

broke down and suggested that we watch a dirty movie together, that maybe it would stir something up... I was really grasping at straws by this point.  Well it woke something up in me, cause my sex drive was back after that.  Well the same thing happened after having our second baby.  And so we did the same thing and what do you know, it was like turning on a light switch.  The thing is that I usually don't like porn, it makes me feel dirty inside and rather depressed that I don't look like those women.  I would just really hate for porn to be the only thing that gets me going.   

My b/f and I have been together now for three months, we have great conversations, we have fun together and the sex is really great.  We have sex alot and I like it.  I like pleasuring him and giving him oral sex and he tells me he likes it when I do.  Here is the thing..for the past couple of times...he has not been able to ejaculate while we are having sex....is this something I should be worried about?  He says he wants to be he can't seem to bring himself to do it.  Also, yesterday he could not ejaculate while we where having sex so, he asked me to give him oral sex...which I did, but right after it was over he got up and walked out of the room to check his cell phone (it rang while we were busy and he was expecting a call from a friend). Although he came back right away after doing that...I felt a little used for that moment...is it normal for me to feel this way?  why would he just get up like that after I pleasured him? 

I have been married for 2 years. my wife and i had great sex for the first 4 months that we dated she then got pregnant. while pregnant she didn't want to have sex and a year after the baby still no sex drive. she was molested by her father from 9-16 it stopped when he died of a heart attack. she said that she never had a sex drive except for those 4 months. we are seeing a marriage consoler and he said that she has no anger and has come to terms with it he is not sure why she didnt have a sex drive. she dose have pain now when we have sex that was not there before. she also said that she was touched every day in any way that you can think of. so when she is touched she wants to shut down. i love her with every thing and she love me very much also we want to fix this but not sure how its like her body was messed with so long that it is trained not to like touch.  

I think you are reading too much into it... i dont think that he meant to hurt you at all... i have had it done to me and i got mad about it as most of us women would... most men are idiots when it comes what makes their girlfriends mad or upset...  

you should tell him how you feel... tell him you think its rude to get up and leave no matter what the reason (whether it be a phone call or something different) if something hurts, be open and honest and you will hopefully you will receive and honest and open reply... I am sure that he doesnt wanna hurt you as you said you have a good relationship... be straight up... you teach people how to treat you... teach him thats not ok with you and he wont treat you that way... 

Hey, don't feel bad about using porn to get your mind in the mood for sex. The brain is the largest sex organ in the body. With your mind being in it, the rest of your body follows.  

As far as feeling badly that you do not look like those girls, don't. When you watch porn with your man, are you constantly thinking about the man in the porno? It is just an image, and try to remember that it is very likely that he thinks of it in the same way. Besides, look at those girls a little more closely, they have scars, runny makeup, crooked teeth, acne, cellulite......just like the rest of us. 

If it continues to cause you guilt, maybe you could try reading a steamy story (penthouse letters) or watching a soft porn movie on Cinemax. . Try a little pre-sex phone convo with him at work......get your mind into it!  

Just keep in mind it is all about mind stimulation and explore ways to achieve it. 

Good luck and keep me posted. 

Kim 

I know lots of women who can't have the "O" while having sex.  but they learned in time, well some of them.  It took me 8 years to figure out myself.  I have to be on top and rub it the right way, if you know what I mean.  So try different things and see what happens.  Most women don't have  the "O" when the man is on top.  You need to attention on both the inside and the out at the same time. 

Hope this helps.