Message Boards

Home Message Boards

Topic : Is This Normal?

Number of Replies: 1134
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:19:40 pm
Author : dataimport
Your partner asked you to do WHAT? Some things are taboo. Some things are common but just not discussed. Where does your sex life fit in?
As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

 
martinfan
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
January 2, 2006, 9:54 pm PST

Feel the need to bite and pinch

 My booty call and I have the most incredible sex I have ever had. Lately I have felt the need to bite and pinch him, although I refrain from hurting him, I do not understand this feeling.  Any answers?
 
Read Replies to this Message
lucky35
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
giddy
January 3, 2006, 3:58 am PST

I know!

Quote From: pixiwixi

 I am :)

I realised about 4 years ago that I was attracted to some women, aswell as some men. By then I was already married. I am fortunate that my husband has a very open mind about sexuality, and has no issues if I should have sex with a woman. I am not sure if I could go through life without being with a woman again.
I know me too!  My husband has even gone so far as to tell me I don't have to tell him about it.  We've had 2 threesomes but I didn't like that, I'd prefer just one-on-one woman time (if you know what I mean! LOL).  Anyways, I love my husband dearly and I would never cheat on him with another man.  How long have you been married?
 
Read Replies to this Message
pixiwixi
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
happy
January 3, 2006, 6:17 am PST

Is This Normal?

Quote From: lucky35

I know me too!  My husband has even gone so far as to tell me I don't have to tell him about it.  We've had 2 threesomes but I didn't like that, I'd prefer just one-on-one woman time (if you know what I mean! LOL).  Anyways, I love my husband dearly and I would never cheat on him with another man.  How long have you been married?
 We have been married for nearly 5 years now :D

I must be honest, I enjoy the 3some setup... means both hubby and I can have fun ;)
 
Read Replies to this Message
pixiwixi
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
blank
January 3, 2006, 6:19 am PST

Is This Normal?

Quote From: martinfan

 My booty call and I have the most incredible sex I have ever had. Lately I have felt the need to bite and pinch him, although I refrain from hurting him, I do not understand this feeling.  Any answers?
 My first piece of advice would be to chat to him... he might find the occasional bite and pinch erotic. It appeals to a very primative instinct within us to "revert" to the animals we "are".

Perhaps you should experiment a little with some light S&M
 
Read Replies to this Message
whisper008
User Mood
Cranky

Message Emote
blank
January 4, 2006, 12:27 pm PST

It is just sex

Quote From: pixiwixi

 We have been married for nearly 5 years now :D

I must be honest, I enjoy the 3some setup... means both hubby and I can have fun ;)

I concur that if both parties agree, threesomes and swapping can be wonderful. However it is not a fix for poor relationships.  

A true soulmate relationship, in my opinion, far trancends sex. There can be no real jealousy if your partner is enjoying themselves and the core relationship is not threatened by the liason. Keeping it a secret (as in cheating) erodes trust - sharing with others sexually does not, if we do not base our relationships on sex. 

Surprisingly, despite the fact I am a man, my fantasy is more about "my" woman engaging sexually with another man, not the stereotypical fantasy of having two or more women. I think the latter would put a lot of pressure on me! LOL.  

Any others who have this fantasy I wonder? 
 
Read Replies to this Message
pixiwixi
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
blank
January 4, 2006, 9:20 pm PST

Is This Normal?

Quote From: whisper008

I concur that if both parties agree, threesomes and swapping can be wonderful. However it is not a fix for poor relationships.  

A true soulmate relationship, in my opinion, far trancends sex. There can be no real jealousy if your partner is enjoying themselves and the core relationship is not threatened by the liason. Keeping it a secret (as in cheating) erodes trust - sharing with others sexually does not, if we do not base our relationships on sex. 

Surprisingly, despite the fact I am a man, my fantasy is more about "my" woman engaging sexually with another man, not the stereotypical fantasy of having two or more women. I think the latter would put a lot of pressure on me! LOL.  

Any others who have this fantasy I wonder? 

 I agree with you entirely about the relationship needing to be strong. We married for love, not sex.... and to us love does not equal sex. We have engaged in 3somes of both varieties, and like you, my hubby enjoys seeing me with another man, more than being with another woman himself (of course he also enjoys seeing me with another woman)
 
Read Replies to this Message
jms1980
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
confused
January 5, 2006, 9:29 am PST

Crying After Sex

My husband and I had sex for the first time in about four months on my birthday. After quite a few extremely strong orgasms (probably the strongest I have ever had), I started crying uncontrollably. I felt very scared, overwhelmed, helpless, and out of control. I was molested for years as a little girl and don't remember any of it. But I have always been told that during sex, either memories or emotions from that time period could come up. That is the only explanation I can come up with. Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice.  
 
Read Replies to this Message
monique_21
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
January 6, 2006, 2:48 am PST

Crying is not bad...

Quote From: jms1980

My husband and I had sex for the first time in about four months on my birthday. After quite a few extremely strong orgasms (probably the strongest I have ever had), I started crying uncontrollably. I felt very scared, overwhelmed, helpless, and out of control. I was molested for years as a little girl and don't remember any of it. But I have always been told that during sex, either memories or emotions from that time period could come up. That is the only explanation I can come up with. Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice.  

 ... it is just a way your body has to deal with all the emotions that go true you when you have the orgasms.
I think it had nothing tot do with your abuse... but perhaps it does. But I think that  when you are really worring about your molestastion, you couldn't enjoy sex at all and you also couldn't get any orgasms...  but that's not the case. 
I experience the same crying after the sex and I have never been abused in my life.
Your body reliefs itself from all the overwelming emotions you get from the orgasm. My experience is that I feel very strong feelings for my boyfriend at that moment. Nothing negative at all.

Let me explain something about the orgasm itself. An orgasm is a very effortfull activity that costs a lot of energy. Your heartbeating is accelerating, your bloodpressure rises and you feel very hot. Just before the orgasm you have to concentrate a lot to reach the correct point when in the end the orgasm takes place. It is just a hard work. When you come and expereience the strong orgasm it is such a relief for your body that soms women litterly and figurly experience it as a total relief. They start crying as a kind of automatic "relief-fase". It happens more then you think.

Another explanation is that is can occur after a period of stress. I don't know if you had a lot of stress these days? Perhaps you are unsure about you and your partner. Perhaps there is another person "in the game" or does your partner let you feel that he doesn't want to go further with your relationship? Some women do not only see it as an physical relief but also as en emotional relief. But I think that only you self knows the best what it really is.

You just feel the sex more intense and I hope you'll enjoy it!

(I'm sorry if there ar any grammatical errors, for I am a dutch woman)

xxx monique
 
Read Replies to this Message
social4
User Mood
Distressed

Message Emote
confused
January 6, 2006, 10:27 am PST

Sex or No Sex

I have meet a wonderful man, we are engaged, have moved in together, and planning our wedding. The thing is we have not had sex! He has no interest in it. I have tried to talk to him about this, he has gone to the doctor, and did receive a prescription for erectile dysfunction and Viagra. Oh did I mention he is 20years older than me. He has not has these prescriptions filled. He knows how important this is to me, to have this closeness. Could he be gay? Could he have HIV, hepatitis  what? He will not touch me, or act anything interested in this subject. However he is desperate to get married to me, he is very good to me, but again I just don't understand why he won't take our relationship to this level? 
 
Read Replies to this Message
jms1980
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
blank
January 6, 2006, 11:09 am PST

Is This Normal?

Quote From: monique_21

 ... it is just a way your body has to deal with all the emotions that go true you when you have the orgasms.
I think it had nothing tot do with your abuse... but perhaps it does. But I think that  when you are really worring about your molestastion, you couldn't enjoy sex at all and you also couldn't get any orgasms...  but that's not the case. 
I experience the same crying after the sex and I have never been abused in my life.
Your body reliefs itself from all the overwelming emotions you get from the orgasm. My experience is that I feel very strong feelings for my boyfriend at that moment. Nothing negative at all.

Let me explain something about the orgasm itself. An orgasm is a very effortfull activity that costs a lot of energy. Your heartbeating is accelerating, your bloodpressure rises and you feel very hot. Just before the orgasm you have to concentrate a lot to reach the correct point when in the end the orgasm takes place. It is just a hard work. When you come and expereience the strong orgasm it is such a relief for your body that soms women litterly and figurly experience it as a total relief. They start crying as a kind of automatic "relief-fase". It happens more then you think.

Another explanation is that is can occur after a period of stress. I don't know if you had a lot of stress these days? Perhaps you are unsure about you and your partner. Perhaps there is another person "in the game" or does your partner let you feel that he doesn't want to go further with your relationship? Some women do not only see it as an physical relief but also as en emotional relief. But I think that only you self knows the best what it really is.

You just feel the sex more intense and I hope you'll enjoy it!

(I'm sorry if there ar any grammatical errors, for I am a dutch woman)

xxx monique

Thank you very much for your kind response, I really appreciate it. It helps to know that I am not the only one who does this. My husband and I have been having problems with our sex life, and I have definitely been stressed out lately. Thank you again. 

  

Jeanna 
 
Read Replies to this Message
First | Prev | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | Next | Last

  • Be in the Audience >>Click Here or call 323-461-PHIL
  • Visit the Dr. Phil Foundation >>Click Here
 
Recent Shows: Behind the Headlines | "Bring Me Back My Hot, Se... | Teen Mama Drama | Majoring in Failure? | A Father Accused: Who's T...