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Topic : Is This Normal?

Number of Replies: 1103
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Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:19:40 pm
Author : dataimport
Your partner asked you to do WHAT? Some things are taboo. Some things are common but just not discussed. Where does your sex life fit in?

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hurtsobad
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hopeful
March 8, 2006, 2:51 pm PST

It happened to me too

I don't know about normal but I totally understand you feel when this happens. I used wake up in the morning sometimes feeling very wet between my legs, He would say "Don't you remember we had sex last night"?  I felt just like you described!  I stoped having sex with him and we are in seperate bed rooms now. I will not allow him to do that to me. It made me feel almost like I was raped. If you are not interested in having sex with him or taking care of him then I would say "To our own self be true". I you are not feeling good about it don't do it. It may cost you your marriage but what kind of marriage is it anyway if you are lfeeling  like you do??  Can you talk to him about it?
 
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hurtsobad
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March 8, 2006, 3:08 pm PST

using the message board

I am haveing a hard time here, there seems to not be any way to reply to the person other than to post. When I post something I seem to get lost in all the messages and am getting frusterated?? Anybody have any advice?
 
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ameliag
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March 8, 2006, 4:01 pm PST

no sex

im at the end of my rope trying to figure this out-so any advice would really help... ive been with my boyfriend for 6.5 years. its been rocky-weve been thru alot, but have made the decision to try to make this work because we love each other and want to be together. we have never really had any problems with our sex life. its always been very healthy. but for the past few months he makes no effort and shows no desire to do it anymore. we spend the night together sometimes and hes fine going right to sleep. its been like this for the past few months. we have gone from once a day to once a month if im lucky. he tells me how much he loves and cares about me, but ive brought this up and he doesnt have much of an explanation for it except for that he doesnt want to do it when we havent been getting along. at night when he can tell im bothered he isnt trying to touch me, i can tell he feels bad so hell makeout with me a little bit, but leaves it at only that. i am very attractive, successful and a big support in his life...i dont know why he doesnt desire me anymore but still gets sad when he knows thats the way i feel. my instant thought is that hes not interested in me and maybe hes into someone else. on the other hand hes extremly bipolar and has some issues. does it seem obvious that its infidelity or are there other reasons maybe why hes so distant?any help or advice or suggestions would help put my mind out of this constant debate.
 
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cpknight
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March 9, 2006, 2:56 am PST

reply

Quote From: hurtsobad

I am haveing a hard time here, there seems to not be any way to reply to the person other than to post. When I post something I seem to get lost in all the messages and am getting frusterated?? Anybody have any advice?

Hi there, 

  

On the bottom of the post says     Reply with Quote              Report to Staff                      Something else 

  

Just click on "Reply with Quote"  and you will be fine 

  

CIndy in FL 
 
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cpknight
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March 9, 2006, 3:04 am PST

No Sex

Quote From: ameliag

im at the end of my rope trying to figure this out-so any advice would really help... ive been with my boyfriend for 6.5 years. its been rocky-weve been thru alot, but have made the decision to try to make this work because we love each other and want to be together. we have never really had any problems with our sex life. its always been very healthy. but for the past few months he makes no effort and shows no desire to do it anymore. we spend the night together sometimes and hes fine going right to sleep. its been like this for the past few months. we have gone from once a day to once a month if im lucky. he tells me how much he loves and cares about me, but ive brought this up and he doesnt have much of an explanation for it except for that he doesnt want to do it when we havent been getting along. at night when he can tell im bothered he isnt trying to touch me, i can tell he feels bad so hell makeout with me a little bit, but leaves it at only that. i am very attractive, successful and a big support in his life...i dont know why he doesnt desire me anymore but still gets sad when he knows thats the way i feel. my instant thought is that hes not interested in me and maybe hes into someone else. on the other hand hes extremly bipolar and has some issues. does it seem obvious that its infidelity or are there other reasons maybe why hes so distant?any help or advice or suggestions would help put my mind out of this constant debate.

Hi  

  

I was thinking that he might be having an affair, but then you mentioned the Bi-Polar.  Is he taking his medication?  Ask his doctor if he is on the right meds.  He might be moody and not wanting to have sex because of the medication.  I think it is worth checking out. 

  

Then if that is not the case, ask him  POINT BLANK  What the problem is and why he doesn't find you irresistible any more? 

  

Cindy in FL 
 
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sassy88
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March 9, 2006, 5:43 am PST

can anyone relate?

samrmm, I'm looking for you. I was reading over the message boards(I'm new at this) looking for some help as noone has responded to my pleas otherwise. Anyway, in Oct. of 2005 you posted a message "can anyone relate?" It is my life story ----I could've written that , and actually did on here somewhere. Not word for word but still the same. Have things gotten better for you and if so may I ask how? I need someone to talk to so badly and you certainly seem to understand. Please if you read this post me a message back. I'm desperate to try  and change this but don't know if I can. I'd appreciate advice from anyone who understands,however noone has ever responded to my requests. God help me, am I even that "boring'" on a message board--No wonder, I guess, my husband cheated........
 
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jenoc99
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March 9, 2006, 8:18 pm PST

Dear Sassy88

Quote From: sassy88

samrmm, I'm looking for you. I was reading over the message boards(I'm new at this) looking for some help as noone has responded to my pleas otherwise. Anyway, in Oct. of 2005 you posted a message "can anyone relate?" It is my life story ----I could've written that , and actually did on here somewhere. Not word for word but still the same. Have things gotten better for you and if so may I ask how? I need someone to talk to so badly and you certainly seem to understand. Please if you read this post me a message back. I'm desperate to try  and change this but don't know if I can. I'd appreciate advice from anyone who understands,however noone has ever responded to my requests. God help me, am I even that "boring'" on a message board--No wonder, I guess, my husband cheated........

Is your husband aware that you desire a "more" in the bedroom, and do you think he would be willing to either read certain books on creating a more fullfilling sex life or videos on the subject? You can't be expected to just tolerate sex, you deserve to really, truly enjoy it, and he should be willing to take the steps needed in order to try to give you what you need. You know that you would do it for him, after all! You say that, in the past, he has been 'better' and then things go back to the way they were... well, then, keep speaking up, don't let the subject go! Guys are so different than us.. who knows what he is thinking.. he is thinking you only needed some special treatment that once, probably! Look at it this way, he can't read your mind, you must tell him how you are feeling. I know it gets annoying when you have to be the one to suggest that HE improve his techniques.. but youknow the old saying, if you want something done right you need to do it yourself! I urge you to speak up and KEEP speaking up to him. You deserve it! 
 
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brunettes
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March 10, 2006, 5:24 pm PST

Help

 I've been in my relationship for 8 yrs now and the sex has gone down quite a bit. At first we were like rabbits every weeeked. Now we live together and he has back,neck, and medicine problems. Also I'm deathly afraid of being on top. I dont know why? May be its a perfromance thing or insecurity about myselfs image I just dont know. I do know that with his problems it doesnt help that I cant or wont do any of the work. I mean oral is no problem except I have TMJ(lockjaw) so that makes things evenn more complicated. Hes not addicted to the meds just effects his arrousel sometimes and sometimes he cant finish which is also frusturating. Can anyone help us?
 
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tinabean
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March 11, 2006, 7:27 pm PST

We need help!!!!

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 yrs. We are the best of friends, he is fabulous with the kids, and we never fight... except about one thing- SEX. He never wants to have sex. When i ask him what the problem is, he never gives me an answer. He is never affectionate unless of course he thinks i'm mad. Then i found out that he's been renting porn from the satelite dish. He doesn't want me but he can take care of business himself? When i asked him about it he said what difference does it make, I love you. I tried to explain to him that when he turns me down, or pulls away from, me,it hurts my feelings. He simply said he was sorry, and could not give me a straight answer on what the problem is. He told me he was not a very sexual person when we first started dating, but its been almost 6 months since we had sex last (and obviously it works or there wouldn't be porn). I told him i need some attention or an explanation, or it was going to cause us to break up, and now of course he's willing to put-out (pardon the pun) but only because i threatened, and besides, how long is it gonna last ? My guess is until i have to threaten him again! I don't know what to do. Is this normal?
 
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soclueless
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March 13, 2006, 12:44 pm PST

I know how you feel

Quote From: tinabean

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 yrs. We are the best of friends, he is fabulous with the kids, and we never fight... except about one thing- SEX. He never wants to have sex. When i ask him what the problem is, he never gives me an answer. He is never affectionate unless of course he thinks i'm mad. Then i found out that he's been renting porn from the satelite dish. He doesn't want me but he can take care of business himself? When i asked him about it he said what difference does it make, I love you. I tried to explain to him that when he turns me down, or pulls away from, me,it hurts my feelings. He simply said he was sorry, and could not give me a straight answer on what the problem is. He told me he was not a very sexual person when we first started dating, but its been almost 6 months since we had sex last (and obviously it works or there wouldn't be porn). I told him i need some attention or an explanation, or it was going to cause us to break up, and now of course he's willing to put-out (pardon the pun) but only because i threatened, and besides, how long is it gonna last ? My guess is until i have to threaten him again! I don't know what to do. Is this normal?
I have been married for ten years.I was the first person my husband had sex with.Now he tells me he does not like sex.We really never had a big sex life but it has been forever!I really wonder if I am the problem.I want to have a sex life and wonder if we stay together if there is hope for us.
 
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