All the asking in the world whispered into the ear of a selfish lover will not achieve the level of satisfaction needed by a woman to enjoy a fulfilling sexual experience with anybody whether it's during a short term affair or a long running monogamous relationship such as a marriage. Even with all the good intentions in the world men are not genetically programmed to be instinctively aware of a woman’s sexual needs especially if they are in conflict with his simple need to orgasm in the shortest possible time.
However, there are changes that a man can make that will eventually allow him to become a caring and empathetic lover. But first a change in mind set is needed before he can embark on a serious understanding of how a woman’s body functions and what is the biological role he is expected to play to enable a woman to achieve pleasure.
There is an art to most things and it is the art of being a competent and confidant lover that a man needs to learn if he is to engage with his partner in something that is to become a wonderful shared experience. But before any of this can happen there needs to be present in a guy the understanding that it does matter that a woman achieves the level of pleasure that she is capable of achieving.
He needs to understand that although his immediate imperative is to achieve almost instant gratification for himself he also needs to be able to use his other senses to achieve a greater, more meaningful and longer lasting sexual experience for both himself and his partner.
Regrettably a large number of men still rely on
Hollywood
script writers and those in the broader entertainment industry for their education in forming their attitudes towards women. These traditional sources of information along with passing around ideas within their peer group, often conceived in ignorance of what a woman truly desires, only serve to titillate men and to trivialize their view of women to the point where men have unrealistic expectations of a woman’s ability to achieve orgasm without anything more than what is required for him to achieve the same happy state. To most men, women are a dark mystery beyond their comprehension and ability to understand, not only in the bed room but also in many other aspects of life. Sometimes it’s just too difficult to even try.
Learning together is often better within a relationship that lasts longer than a flurried romp, - sometimes that is all there is, but as sexual relationships these days amongst the young seems to be of that type then it is very difficult to move from that behavior to one where there is an ongoing and a genuine desire by a guy to ensure pleasure for his partner.
There are many factors and situations that inhabit the brains and lives of all people that work against this being an easy path to follow. These include socio-sexual preconditioning, religious dogma that views sex as a procreation based activity only and learned behavior and attitudes that are modeled within the family. Place these and many other factors against the background of a relationship where a woman may treat her partner as if he were merely the senior child in the family and it is not surprising if he receives any suggestions from her related to her sexual needs as an assault on his sexual performance and that this is just another form of criticism that he can well do without.
A man needs to have a genuine respect for all women that is aside from just wanting to have sex with them. If he is incapable of this then he should at least learn how be technically proficient in giving pleasure to his sexual partner. In any event it must surly be a good thing for both a woman and a man to have enjoyed together the ultimate pleasures that each has given to the other.
