Topic : Is This Normal?

Just a question i wanted to ask, Me and my partner have been together for 6 years we have two children my son is seven and my daughter is 18months.

The problem i have is that my partner hardly ever wants to have sex he'd rather stay up all night watching tv or playing the x-box than coming to bed with me, I try to talk to him about it and he says its because  the only time he can play the x-box is when i am in bed. He can't remember  how many times we'd have sex in a week but he can remember how many times hes played x-box per week. I try and talk to him about how upset it makes me but nothing ever changes.

It is really frustrating i feel alone, unwanted and unloved we might if i am lucky have sex maybe twice a week if that i'm only 25 and feel like my sex life is already dead. It makes me want to cheat on him just to see if he'd notice and i really think he wouldn't

What do you think any ideas?

I have never posted here before but in reading all the different posts I think I feel comfortable enough to do so. 

I am unbelievably frustrated with my sex life, or should I say non exsistant sex life!!

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years, he is 51 and I am 34.  In the past 3 years we have had sex 13 times!  When we first got together we had sex all the time - daily!  Over time it dwindled away, it went from daily, to once a week, to once a month, to once every couple months, etc until we come to where we are now, not at all.  The last time we had sex was 8 months ago!

I have a very high sex drive so needless to say this is frustrating me to no end.

The times we have had sex were after a big fight and/or break up - and yes 13 times is a lot of times to fight or break up but like I said I am FRUSTRATED! 

I think what is frustrating me even more is that he refuses to do anything about it.  Over the years I have tried talking with him, he just gets mad and walks away from me or he will make up excuses after excuses, he will lie and say he will go to the doctor and not do it.

I have heard all the excuses, I'm tired, I have a headache, my back hurts, I haven't been in the mood because we are fighting a lot, I have no desire to have sex, I can't get it up - the list goes on and on.

Then when time lapses and I bring up the topic again, mentioning one of the excuses he used (ie: can't get it up) he will deny it and say that isn't the problem and he didn't say that.

He tells me he will go to the doctor and either lies and says he went or says that he will and forgets or was too busy....

For some unknown reason I have put up with this for this long - I do believe it is a lot in part to my self esteem because of this - I believe that it "must be me" and that is why he can't or won't have sex with me and if that is the case then nobody else will want me either.

When he has talked about this with me on the rare occassion he assures me that it isn't me, that he loves me, thinks I'm beautiful, etc. I try to explain to him all the time what this does to me but he just fluffs me off with "I'll go to the doctor" and then never does.  It is always being "swept under the rug."

For over a month now I have had my fill, I have been sleeping in the spare bedroom - I feel that we are just "roommates" so why should I sleep with him.  I talked to him about this and told him that I am very close to leaving him and things aren't going to change (my coldness, sleeping in the other room) until he fixes the problem.  He agreed but still nothing has been done.

In the past 3 weeks he has had a few different excuses as to why he hasn't made an appointment with the doctor yet;  I didn't get a chance - I was busy at work, I called but they were closed, I did call and made an appointment for the end of the week - the end of the week comes and he calls me saying that he must have messed up the appointment date and time because when he got there they were closed.

I don't know what to do - I can't take this anymore!!  It is definitely obvious that he doesn't want to get help because he won't go so lets just say that he does go because I push him in to it and the doctor gives him viagra or something - what is the point of that he probably won't take it anyway because he would have to be in the mood - which he NEVER is.  So I will have pushed for nothing.

That is the other thing, he won't even try to have sex, he won't let me try - NOTHING!!!  I even asked him one time "how do you know you can't get it up if you don't try" and of course he just walked away from me.

I have also told him in the past that just because he "can't" do anything that doesn't mean that I have to go without - that there are other things that he/we can do so that I will be satisfied and although he agreed - he has yet to do anything about it and it has been a year since I said that.

Sometimes I think that it is because he "can't" but then I think if that was really the problem then he wouldn't be able to do it "sometimes" - he just wouldn't be able to do it at all. 

I know that probably the best thing to do is to get out now but it is hard after putting 6 years in to this relationship - I don't want to start over but yet I don't want to live like this either.  This is no life for me and I know that - it is to find the strength to leave that is the hard part.

Has anyone else gone through this or is going through this??  Any suggestions as to what is going on with him?

My husband and I have been together for 6 and a half years, married for not quite two months.  In the past he's mentioned swinging and I made it perfectly clear I would never do that or condone that, it goes against my values and beliefs and morals.  Just in the past week or so he's really been pushing me to "check out" an "alternative lifestyle" club.  The thought makes me sick to my stomach, and he swears up and down he doesn't want to have sex with anyone else, nor would he let anyone touch me.  I've asked him numerous times why he wants to go then and his answers have ranged from none at all to the latest being he wants to see other women.  My heart breaks every time he brings it up.  I've never given him any reason to think I'd ever change my mind about this.  I feel it's wrong, I know there are people that don't but the way I feel is the way I feel and I'm entitled to my feelings.  He's being so persistent that I feel it's starting to compromise how I feel about HIM.  I'm wondering if he's not the man I thought he was and his real motivation for wanting to marry me.  How do I get this through to him?  I've said these exact things to him yet he still doesn't let up.  I fear it's going to push me to file for divorce, especially when he says I don't care about him because I won't indulge his fantasy.  I never thought the man I loved more than anything would expect me to compromise my beliefs and values for something so stupid.