Topic : Is This Normal?

I met a gentleman through my previous employment in April. I live and work in Colorado, he lives and works in Indiana. We are in the same age group, we are both married with adult children. He was a consultant to the company I worked for.  I was the admin assistant.  I have only physically met/seen this man twice.  Both times in the office setting.  The only "touching" between us have been hello and goodbye hugs, again in the office setting with other co-workers around.   Somewhere along the way through email, we have become intimate.  I orginally thought that we were just writing fantasies.  This has now escalated to phone calls and basically having "phone sex".  I feel guilty, but at the same time very excited and I think this has helped my husband's and my sex life.  Am I really cheating?

well  hve to say I met a great guy who I am dating. Everything went natural with him he was always very considerant with me and nice, sex just came naturally and i had a good timeand sex dd turn out how i imagined it. Thank  you for all your advice. Love you all very much for the suport when  needed it

kisses and hughes

Hi , I just want you to know i am feeling the SAME Exact way !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am soooooooooooo frustrated with my relationship with my husband , I know he loves me and i love him , but when it comes to sex oh my god .,.......................... for instance last night , (i cannot believe i am going to be so explicit) but i was in the mood ,(we havent haqd it in over a month ) so we came into the bedroom and i thought he wanted it and then all of a sudden he just went limp i felt like i did something . (i am in tears right now ) he says nothing is wrong , but hello ................ obviously there is .  maybe he isnt attracted to me anymore , he says he loves me , trust me he spoils me . sometimes i think he is just with me because he doesnt want to be alone .

 

so anyways he gets up goes int0 the living room saying something like why do you have to make something out of nothing !! (NOTHING i AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOO SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED ) WTH?? I JUST FEEL  sooooooooo self concious (sp??) i am feeling more AND  more  guilty and frustrated and .......... b y the second ., I always thought that a man would want to have sex with his wife . why did he marry me if he didnt . i know that he is not cheating on me . but i do think he pleasures himsef , because he sure is not pleasuing me .

 

so anyways i just want you to know that you are not alone , i think it must be them , what do we do about it ????? maybe dr phil would know

 

i just want you to now that by hearing your story i feel ( i know this sounds weird ) but NOt so  alone . i have no one to talk to about this either as it is NOT a discussion to talk to about with your friends lol

i hope we find our answers here ................................ take care gloria

Their are many reasons why men can't get or keep an erection, it doesn't neccesseraly have to do with you. I think we can rule out physical factors because he did have an erection for some time (if I read correctly) so I suggest you try using a cockring (sorry it is just the way they are called I can't help it either...) this will help keep the blood where it should be. If not combine it with a penis pump it won't give him a bigger member but it will help to get an erection.

 

If that doesn't help he can always go to the dokter and get help. 

Thank you so much for writttin me back . I feel a little better . =0)

Thank you so much for writing back. It feels comforting to know that I'm not the only one going through this.  It's just really confusing, you know?

 

I always thought that was one of the things a man's always wanted in a a wife. Not a major thing, but at least one of the things. He always says it isn't about sex, it's about other things, which I completely agree with, but that doesn't mean that NO sex is the right way to be in marraige.

 

I got some really good advise from my mother (of all people) that I shouldn't let it bother me or make me feel un-attractive, that he loves me very much, or he wouldn't have married me if he wasn't attracted to me. Whatever his reason may be, sex just probably isn't that important to him. He has given me no signs of cheating, and the sex aside, he is everything in a man that I could ever ask for.

 

My mother told me that in her second marriage, she had the same situation with her husband, except it was the other way around. He wanted to have sex all of the time, and once they got married, she really didn't think sex was all that important. He used to want it all the time, and when she didn't feel like doing it he would start to get angry. When that happened, she REALLY didn't want to have it and it just pushed her farther away. Well, he became almost obsessed, to the point where he actually did a survey with his co-workers on how many times a week them and their partners had sex. She was furious when he told her he did this, but out of curiosity, wanted to see the results he had come up with. Some couples said they had sex, 2 or 3 times a week, some said they had it once or twice a month, and all were okay with it.

 

My mother later came to find out that he was addicted to sex and she found out he was cheating on her, too. Well, I know that this isn't the same as my situation. I don't want to have sex with anyone but my husband, and the thought of cheating on him literally makes me sick. We have a great relationship and love each other very much, but I have to remember that the more of a big deal I make of this, whether he's emarrased or just doesn't think it's that important, it will probably just push him further away. Every time I bring it up, especially when I'm angry about it, it just makes it look like sex is all I care about, and that just isn't true.

 

So what I'm going to try now is to probably go and buy a toy, use it when I'm feeling the most frustrated (and not rub it in his face) and I'm going to just wait and try my best to not let it bother me. And hopefully he will come around. I'm not going to be mean about it, but I'm tired of it being an issue in our marriage. I can't let this ruin our relationship. It isn't worth it.

 

Hopefully that is the best way to handle it. It's the best way I can think of now, so it's worth a try. We'll see what happens. A guy loves a girl who doesn't let thibngs bother her, so I'm not going to let it bother me anymore, and I'll just let him come around when he wants to. I'm sure he will.

 

Hopefully that helps!

 

Yes, you really are cheating.

About virginity. The bible was written in a society 2000 years ago, when girl where married during their 11th, 12th birthday when she about had their first period. With this in mind it's not a good idea to have sexs before marriage don't you think?

 

No? Wel, the bible tells us not to eat pork, not to make fire or cook (BBQ) on sunday (sabbat actually), the bible tells us we can have many wives (would you do THAT to your daughter?) and other things you wouldn't believe.

 

The bible was common sense 2000 years ago. Can we please read it as such and have some common sense now? Just raise your daughter and your son! so that she and he can make some educated choices, not forced choices.

is this normal i met him three years ago when i was 15 and fell in love with hime right away and six months later he told me he was interested to i had a sexual relationship with him for three years we kept it a secret to the family and now i'm still in love with him but he doesn't love me back

i hope someone else has had a simular experience

if you had and willing to share , tell me

doei(=is dutch for bye) tessa

tomorrow im going to see finding nemo on ice with my boyfriend im so excited...