Topic : Is This Normal?

I am almost 30 years old and I have 4 chidren. Since having kids I don't have hardly any drive what so ever!I feel bad for my fiance because we hardly ever have sex!! Is there a reason for me not to be in the mood?I mean before we had kids I always wanted sex, at least 5 times a day. And now it's way down to once every week or every other week. I'm so embarrassed by the situation. I think that maybe I'm just really self consious about my body now, because my body has changed after having kids. I used to weigh 125 lbs. before having kids and I loved the way that I looked and I felt so good about myself but now I definitely don't feel that way. My fiance loves the way I look but I guess I don't see what he sees. I'm really self concious about myself. I mean I'm not an obese person, I just want to look and feel good about myself. If you have any suggestions please help me!!

 I've been married for many years and my husband wanted to try swinging. I didnt want to but went along with it   for years  so he wouldnt get mad i was afraid of loosing him. i didnt like the way it made me feel about my self .Recently i told him i didnt want to any more he thinks im being selfish and its not abnormal for him to want this. i really hate being in those situations.I Our marriage is great other wise I dont think it will last if i dont go along with this i feel so much better about myself as a person once i put a stop to this I dont think im abnormal. help

Swinging should only be done by someone who wants to, has a partner who wants to, has a stable relationship, doesn't get jealous and has an open mind.

For most it therefore isn't the way to go. You shouldn't do something you don't want. You are not selfish you are finally protecting your boundaries which you have neglected for years. I (male) applaude you.

Maybe you might ask him how he would feel if he had to dress up as a baby everytime you had sex. it doesn't feel right so it is not fun. And sex should be something fun to do.

He has to respect the way you feel. Do you really want to be married to someone who does not respect your feelings? It seems like he wants his cake and to eat it too. You are also in no way being selfish if anyone is being selfish he is for hurting you by practically forcing you to do something you do not want to do.

I'll try to answer your question in parts. First the masturbating part: Yes it is normal for guys to masturbate even when they are in a stable relationship with a good sex life. Somewhere in the 90% (estimates very up to 98% plus 2% who lie about it) of men have masturbated in their lifetime, many of which still do when with a partner.

You shouldn´t see it as if you are under preforming, it is just something men do. It relieves stress, feels good, is good for a man or woman´s health, is quicker then with a partner, can improve sleep, etc etc etc. It wouldn't be a bad thing if you pleasured yourself aswell every once and a while. Because the person who best knows where it feels good is you. And that info can be relayed to your partner which makes him better as well.

Then is he gay or not? well he could be but he couldn't be just as well. He might have experimented at some stage, he might be bisexual (liking both men AND women), he might be from another culture where kissing men is normal (Middle East and Eastern Europe for instance), he might have a certain relationship with his friends in which they can be more close without any meaning (just for the fun) actors for instance have a different set of norms for interpersonal contact, and so on and so on. If he denies it and doesn't really do anything to obvious that suggests he is gay then asume he isn't

Ow and friends who are gay don't say anything about him, voice doesn't either.

The drinking is i think more of a problem, he needs help for that. Drinking is dangerous for him and for the people around him. not to mention it hurts you if he is drunk

My fiance' has started doing something that creeps me out after we have sex. He get's up and washes his penis with soap and water to clean it. I've asked him why and he said he like to keep it clean. It wouldn't bother me except that he started doing this only two weeks ago. Am I worrying about nothing or is there something up with this?

My fiance' has started doing something that creeps me out after we have sex. He get's up and washes his penis with soap and water to clean it. I've asked him why and he said he like to keep it clean. It wouldn't bother me except that he started doing this only two weeks ago. Am I worrying about nothing or is there something up with this?