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Topic : Is This Normal?

Number of Replies: 1127
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, July 01, 2005, 05:19:40 pm
Author : dataimport
Your partner asked you to do WHAT? Some things are taboo. Some things are common but just not discussed. Where does your sex life fit in?

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October 7, 2005, 1:58 pm CDT

Give it Up

Quote From: cokebottle

Hi, I am a 38 year old male with 4 kids & been happily married for 14 years - when we were 1st married I spent all of the summer naked around the house with no protest from my wife & she was well aware of my naturist nature as when ever we went to a secluded swimming hole I always was nude - she even did it too! 

Even when our first child was born she did not mind me being naked, she would video me playing with our child naked (camera angle above waist) 

Then as the children grew up she started to get more & more prudish & started to ask me to cover up in front of the kids, (which I did to keep the peace) 

Last summer we lived at house with a pool & she tolerated me swimming nude at night, but this year (I am in Australia - hot days of spring started already)  she is freaking out if I lay in bed nude! 

Now the children are 8 (boy) 6 (boy) 4 (girl) & 2 (boy) & she has got it into her head that I am some sort of pervert who gets off on cavorting around naked to give myself pleasure, I have pointed out to her if this was the case why don't I have a erection & she brushes this off - she says I must love myself - I reply that I am more comfortable nude - she will then say I am no stud either which I find a put down, I asked her if I toned up & lost a bit of weight could I walk around nude? she didn't have an answer for that one! 

  

I want other womens opinion's about this issue, am I normal? if so what can I do to convince her? I think she is being overprotective of the kids, I belive they should be exposed to nudity so when they grow up it is not a big taboo/obssesion etc 

  

Listen, this society just will not allow you to be naked in front of your kids. Right or wrong, there are so many problems that could arise due to your desire to be naked ( being called a pervert, accused of molestation or indecent exposure). Your wife is just taking the road of least resistance (which I can't blame her in this exhaustingly critical society) for your kids. Believe me, throw on some loose boxers and spare your wife and kids the complications of trying to explain your behavior.  

BTW, I support nudity and do not find it offensive, it is just that the society we live in is so closed minded and judgmental! 

 
October 9, 2005, 8:04 am CDT

Sex has gotten stale

Hi, my husband and I have only been married for 1 1/2 years, but already our sex life is kindof "blah".  We have sex probably at least once a week, but I'd rather relax most of the time.  We are both honest with each other about our sexual feelings and we both have admitted at times we don't like it that much.  I think we're both just a little bored and tired of each other, yet we love each other.  Is this normal?
 
October 9, 2005, 7:20 pm CDT

worried about oral sex

Quote From: natagirl

My husband and I have a healthy relationship, and we could never imagine ourselves with anyone else.  We dated for 7 years before getting married, and are going to celebrate our 2 year wedding anniversary at the end of this month.  Here's the thing: we never had a sexual relationship until 6 months before our wedding, and just about 2 months into our marriage I became pregnant and did not feel in the mood for sex and in general did not feel good.  Somehow we got through all of that, maintained a sexual relationship--but one in which I was frustrated because he just wouldn't leave me alone and would molest me (in my opinion) in hopes to magically get me turned on.  I would just break down and give in to him to get him to leave me alone afterward.  I was also upset that he worked so much to where he mostly did not have any days off from work after we returned from our honeymoon, so there were times that in my pregnancy I was sick and he wasn't there to help me out.  I guess at times I resented him for putting his job before our relationship, yet expected me to be a sex goddess when he was around! 

  

After I gave birth to our daughter, things were not too bad, and he actually started trying to be more sensitive and listen to what I told him would help me get in the mood.  But lately I am dreading sex again for another reason: oral sex.  For months he went on and on talking about it, how much he wanted it, etc.  But I always was grossed out--maybe because of some hygiene issues I have about bodily fluids and germs--and he couldn't understand that.  But one day to show him how much I do appreciate him in my life, I surprised him by giving him oral sex--with plastic wrap!  I know that sounds weird, but I didn't know what else to do because I didn't want to actually put his penis in my mouth.  I also have a thing against swallowing hair, and I would really freak out if I swallowed a pubic hair. 

  

So now I created a monster and my husband wants oral sex every time we make love.  For a while, he started having edd to where he'd ejaculate prematurely, and he was really embarrassed about being in bed with me.  He wanted me to perform oral sex instead.  Feeling frustrated rather than glad, I gave in.  I understand the whole plastic wrap thing is not even attractive, but I couldn't think of what else to do to combat my issues.  Finally I told him I'd consider using flavored condoms if he still wanted me to do that for him--so he bought some and we tried them out.  I really have no incentive to even give him a blow job, and when I do it I can't wait until I can be done with it!  I know that sounds horrible, and I don't know what to do about feeling that way.  I know that I would NEVER want him to give me oral sex, because that too grosses me out.  But what has been really bothering me lately is that he is trying to get me to put more of his penis in my mouth at a time, and as it is I feel like I want to gag, but I don't want to tell him that and offend him.  What should I do?  I'm so afraid that everything is falling apart and I just want to have fun in the bedroom but not have it to be just oral sex and having intercourse.  Could someone give me some advice? 

I guess I know how you feel about not really wanting to give oral sex: for a really long time I thought it was disgusting too and never wanted to do it. It's a little different from you because I had to give oral sex to this man who was raping me, but whatever.

I still find it really difficult, and someone has to really really ask me to do it, but it does get easier with time. If he's asking you to put too much of it in your mouth (like deep-throating or something) you shouldn't if you don't feel totally comfortable b/c you could gag and choke, which isn't going to help you start liking it any better.

Try and get him to describe how it feels. Maybe if you can connect what you're doing to something good the man you love is feeling, you might start liking being able to make him feel that way.

As for that condom thing, does that really work? I was always afraid if I gave a guy oral with a condom and something went wrong I'd accidentally swallow the condom or something and not be able to breathe...
 
October 10, 2005, 11:08 am CDT

I need some advice

This is horribly embarrasing to write about.  

My husband and I have been married for over 2 years, we've been together for four years. 

A couple of weeks ago, he got way more adventerous in bed and wanted me to use a dildo on him. 

When he squeezed his eyes shut and told me I was in the  "wrong" place, I was horrified.  He then moved my hand up about an inch and a half or so to the "right" place. 

Now, please excuse my ignorance, but as a woman who has had previous partners who have targeted the "wrong" place and had to correct them myself,  what does this mean? 

I mean, I thought I was smart till my husband told me I was trying in the wrong place.  

I was only aware of ONE place on a man that a dildo could possibly go... 

  

 
October 11, 2005, 8:08 pm CDT

Sensitive spots on men

Quote From: emmdavis

This is horribly embarrasing to write about.  

My husband and I have been married for over 2 years, we've been together for four years. 

A couple of weeks ago, he got way more adventerous in bed and wanted me to use a dildo on him. 

When he squeezed his eyes shut and told me I was in the  "wrong" place, I was horrified.  He then moved my hand up about an inch and a half or so to the "right" place. 

Now, please excuse my ignorance, but as a woman who has had previous partners who have targeted the "wrong" place and had to correct them myself,  what does this mean? 

I mean, I thought I was smart till my husband told me I was trying in the wrong place.  

I was only aware of ONE place on a man that a dildo could possibly go... 

  

One of the most sensitive spots on a man is directly behind his scrotum (balls, yes, thats right). You can feel a small nub of tissue there and it turns a lot of guys on... Maybe your husband wasn't looking for penetration into his anus, but stimulation on that spot-
 
October 12, 2005, 10:34 am CDT

Clarification

I think I need to be a little clearer on something. 

It wasn't anal penetration that my husband wanted.  When I said that I thought there was only one place to use a dildo on, that's what I was referring to.  Anal.  Now, when I said that he moved my hand up about an inch and a half, I discovered that there was more than one place, and I almost had a stroke.  That's what I want to know... I thought there was only ONE place ...   what the hell is up with this?  Am I truly that stupid and naieve (cause I know I can't spell!!  LOL) 

Does anybody know? 

 
October 12, 2005, 11:18 am CDT

brand new to this....

 my boyfriend and i have been  together for over two years now.  we love each other so very much, but sex has always been an issue....i would be happy with it 3 times a week, while he would be happy with once every thee weeks...if not longer...he says "he can take it or leave it"  but the problem is that i know he watches internet porn...last week he told me that he got rid of all of it and doesn't do it any more....
so here's the thing,...it gets even deeper...he says that since he wants to marry me, he wants to stay celebate until we do get married (we have been going to church more often, and i think the whole premarital sex thing veiwed in God's eyes are making him say this...)  But i wan't snooping, i checked the history on the internet to find a web page i used for a school report, and saw lists of porn sites...so i know he is still looking at it...why is he lying to me about it? why would he rather watch porn and jerk off than be with me and why celabate until marriage?
i am sssooo confused!!!
 
October 14, 2005, 5:27 pm CDT

Hmmm

Quote From: emmdavis

I think I need to be a little clearer on something. 

It wasn't anal penetration that my husband wanted.  When I said that I thought there was only one place to use a dildo on, that's what I was referring to.  Anal.  Now, when I said that he moved my hand up about an inch and a half, I discovered that there was more than one place, and I almost had a stroke.  That's what I want to know... I thought there was only ONE place ...   what the hell is up with this?  Am I truly that stupid and naieve (cause I know I can't spell!!  LOL) 

Does anybody know? 

He has an anus. And then he has another opening on his body? Is he a hermaphrodite? Because a man has (I wish I could draw it) his scrotum, behind that is his prostate area, and then is his anus. How long have you been married?
 
October 17, 2005, 1:00 pm CDT

It's possible ...

Quote From: queentween

He has an anus. And then he has another opening on his body? Is he a hermaphrodite? Because a man has (I wish I could draw it) his scrotum, behind that is his prostate area, and then is his anus. How long have you been married?
He may have what is called a "sacral dimple" -- a small indentation at the base of the spine that's a mild form of birth defect.  Unless he has spina biffida, though, it would only be the depth of a belly-button, tops.   
 
October 18, 2005, 9:26 pm CDT

Go for it, you are normal!

Quote From: cokebottle

Hi, I am a 38 year old male with 4 kids & been happily married for 14 years - when we were 1st married I spent all of the summer naked around the house with no protest from my wife & she was well aware of my naturist nature as when ever we went to a secluded swimming hole I always was nude - she even did it too! 

Even when our first child was born she did not mind me being naked, she would video me playing with our child naked (camera angle above waist) 

Then as the children grew up she started to get more & more prudish & started to ask me to cover up in front of the kids, (which I did to keep the peace) 

Last summer we lived at house with a pool & she tolerated me swimming nude at night, but this year (I am in Australia - hot days of spring started already)  she is freaking out if I lay in bed nude! 

Now the children are 8 (boy) 6 (boy) 4 (girl) & 2 (boy) & she has got it into her head that I am some sort of pervert who gets off on cavorting around naked to give myself pleasure, I have pointed out to her if this was the case why don't I have a erection & she brushes this off - she says I must love myself - I reply that I am more comfortable nude - she will then say I am no stud either which I find a put down, I asked her if I toned up & lost a bit of weight could I walk around nude? she didn't have an answer for that one! 

  

I want other womens opinion's about this issue, am I normal? if so what can I do to convince her? I think she is being overprotective of the kids, I belive they should be exposed to nudity so when they grow up it is not a big taboo/obssesion etc 

  

I was browsing the messages & seen your posting & it struck me as the exact same
story as my hubby except it was me that was nude all the time
He started getting more & more touchy about me being nude in front of my twin boys who were
5 yr old
I was raised in a nudist family, we all swam nude in our pool from an early age & went to nude beachs - my husband knew this
when he married me but still he worried my sons would be made into sexual fiends or something?
I eventualy got him to go to a nude beach with me alone & there was several family groups & couples there
after that he relaxed his opinion about nudity & now is nude all summer with the kids and I. 

I do not agree with the people who say that kids should not see there parents nude, in fact several studies
have proved otherwise - even Dr Phil mentions it in his book as not being negative. 

Cokebottle I think you should try harder honey! 

I agree with the comments by kcitsme3 I agree with you totaly about society looking down there nose if you are
different to them. 

Try searching on the internet for research into nudity & children, check out the numerous christian
nudist sites too!  

Don't worry about what other narrow minded people say! 

 
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