Topic : Is This Normal?
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March 2, 2008, 3:33 pm PST
 Quote From: bluetigress My fiance and I have an absolutely wonderful relationship. We started out as best friends, and it only grew from there. Emotionally, things have been perfect. After we got engaged and started to get physical, it proved to be just as wonderful.
A few months later I ended up getting pregnant due to failed birth control, and became extremely ill. I miscarried a few weeks after finding out, but the illness stayed. I thought it was stress from moving or my family life, but I found out it was actually HG, a not very common, very severe form of morning sickness. The effects can last a really long time.
Needless to say, even though I was so sick I still felt the same attraction and longing with my fiance, and he's extremely loving and affectionate, but anytime he ever tried to initiate something I'd immediately get sick to my stomach, or feel ill. I felt really really bad, because we both wanted things so badly but I'd just get so suddenly and inexplicably sick. Despite how I felt, the reality of my sex drive was 0.
The effects of the illness are finally starting to wear down, but I still get this nausea on occasion when we start getting intimate. Not too much is known about HG, but if anyone else here has it, did you go through something similar? I have a high chance of getting it again in the future, and I'd like to know for then and the dwindling effects now, what I can do so I'm not so nauseated or sex-drive deprived. Me and my fiance have an extremely healthy relationship emotionally and physically, and I'd like to keep that up! You should talk to your doctor about getting a prescription for anti-nausea medication. Make sure it is one that doesn't cause drowsiness. |
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March 2, 2008, 3:50 pm PST
Quote From: lynnanne2456 I have been in a relationship for nearly 4 years. I am not allowed to initiate sex., not to mention I almost have to beg for sex. Yet this man is soliciting himself as a man with a HIGH sex drive on these nasty x-rated yahoo groups, giving out his cell number to random whores who frequent the "gloryhole" bookstore/theaters. I am not an over weight unattractive woman, I am a faithful. devoted partner who is up for any kinkyness to keep the spark alive. I am lucky to get sex once a month. Why is it that he insists he has a high sex drive and he is not satisfying me? The fact that this man is actively seeking highly sexual women on x-rated sites and is not having sex regularly with you is a big red flag. I am not trying to be rude or mean, but I think you should get away from this guy ASAP!!! To be told by your partner you are not allowed to initiate sex is highly controlling and mentally off. Denying you the ability to seek sexual satisfaction from him is blatantly inconsiderate and speaks volumes to the fact that he does not care about your needs. If he truly does have a high sex drive and he is not having sex with you, he is definately having sex with someone else. Have you ever considered that he is highly sexual but needs to be "cheating" to achieve satisfaction? Maybe having you at home while he is romping with others is what satisfies him? You should figure out what you want in a relationship and if he can't provide you should move on. There are lots of men out there looking for a faithful devoted partner. |
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March 6, 2008, 11:57 pm PST
I have a question and I'm not sure how to ask it..or if this is the right board for this question..but, here it goes..and I hope someone reads it.. I've known this guy for a couple of months now..been, out 3 times..well, I met him online on another site..and he was a long time member there, where I am new..I decided to read all his posts, which were A LOT..dates back to around 2002 or so...anyway, some of the things I've read was kinda distrubing to me..not big time! but, I guess since I'm old fashion, it sort of concerned me.. First, of all he talks a lot about sex on there..and true, there is a board regarding sex..and we're all adults, so I guess it's ok..but, the thing is..I wouldn't go there..I don't espeically, enjoy discussing sex in that way..I mean, some get kinda gross..(to me)...and on there, I discovered that he wants to do something one day, in regards to sexual activity...and for me, NO WAY..so, what do you all feel about that? I ask this one girl, (she's young and I'm not)..anyway, so perhaps in today's generation it's more acceptable.. So, should I/could I ask him about that??? you see, I don't want to get myself involved with someone..and fall for them, then these things be an issue..I finally ask him, something..because, it was kinda bothering me..Like, I said we've known one another for a little over 2 mos..3 dates..because, he seems to be busy with getting his career off..and he has several women friends..and I'm sure that's all they are, not sure..but ,he really is a sweet guy...but, so far, we've NEVER been out on a weekend yet??? which is wierd..and his weekends are always been full..that's wierd right there.. So, when I was reading I read where he likes full figure women..(which I'm not..I feel I'm just right for my height)...and he likes short hair, I have long..so, I guess I just wanted to ask him this..and slowly, work myself to the other things..his remark was.."I need not worry..he has no type..and he told me not to worry..that he likes a more laid back person..not with all the worries"..BUT, I feel its things I need to know..before, moving forward..already, the last date..we got a little closer..sounds dumb, but for me it's a BIG deal..the holding hands, all the way through a movie..and finally, kissing on the lips good night..so, things ARE moving forward already..and I'd like to know some things..before I move even closer.. Do you feel I should or have the right? what IF he doesn't respond well to that?? then, it's over?? thanks for anyone that reads and responds, to this..because it is bothering me Dee |
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March 8, 2008, 1:55 am PST
Quote From: dee0123 I have a question and I'm not sure how to ask it..or if this is the right board for this question..but, here it goes..and I hope someone reads it.. I've known this guy for a couple of months now..been, out 3 times..well, I met him online on another site..and he was a long time member there, where I am new..I decided to read all his posts, which were A LOT..dates back to around 2002 or so...anyway, some of the things I've read was kinda distrubing to me..not big time! but, I guess since I'm old fashion, it sort of concerned me.. First, of all he talks a lot about sex on there..and true, there is a board regarding sex..and we're all adults, so I guess it's ok..but, the thing is..I wouldn't go there..I don't espeically, enjoy discussing sex in that way..I mean, some get kinda gross..(to me)...and on there, I discovered that he wants to do something one day, in regards to sexual activity...and for me, NO WAY..so, what do you all feel about that? I ask this one girl, (she's young and I'm not)..anyway, so perhaps in today's generation it's more acceptable.. So, should I/could I ask him about that??? you see, I don't want to get myself involved with someone..and fall for them, then these things be an issue..I finally ask him, something..because, it was kinda bothering me..Like, I said we've known one another for a little over 2 mos..3 dates..because, he seems to be busy with getting his career off..and he has several women friends..and I'm sure that's all they are, not sure..but ,he really is a sweet guy...but, so far, we've NEVER been out on a weekend yet??? which is wierd..and his weekends are always been full..that's wierd right there.. So, when I was reading I read where he likes full figure women..(which I'm not..I feel I'm just right for my height)...and he likes short hair, I have long..so, I guess I just wanted to ask him this..and slowly, work myself to the other things..his remark was.."I need not worry..he has no type..and he told me not to worry..that he likes a more laid back person..not with all the worries"..BUT, I feel its things I need to know..before, moving forward..already, the last date..we got a little closer..sounds dumb, but for me it's a BIG deal..the holding hands, all the way through a movie..and finally, kissing on the lips good night..so, things ARE moving forward already..and I'd like to know some things..before I move even closer.. Do you feel I should or have the right? what IF he doesn't respond well to that?? then, it's over?? thanks for anyone that reads and responds, to this..because it is bothering me Dee Well it's hard that you have all this information before hand but look at it this way if you didn't read these posts then you would have found out along the way aswell. But I think you are too worried for nothing, I hope I can take some of them away.
Now for the sexual act: I don't know what it was but you have to see that such a board provides anonimity so he can reveal deeper thoughts regarding his sexuality. See all men (okay most) fantasize about sex with two women doesn't mean that they actually would do it when the chance arises.
And even if he would like to try it, sex if something you do with two people. YOU HAVE A SAY, he can't force you to do something you are not comfortable with. If he loves you he'll just skip that part and enjoy the rest of the sex that you are comfortable with.
Now as for what type he falls for, well let's say that love works in mysterious ways. Here's my personal experience (I am a man) My "perfect" woman would be tall, have a B or C cup, have long red hair, have a few freckles, not too skinny, not to much fat etc. etc. etc. But in the end I fall for the face and personality. Non of my girlfriends had red hair, only one had freckles, not all where tall and so on. There is a difference between what you fantasize about and what you actually fall in love with. YOU CAN BE PERFECT FOR HIM!
Please forget about what you read and what you know. Enjoy, live in the moment and relax, if you stay worried so much then I assure you it will not work since you aren't there with him so you can't connect.
xx Oet Gaol |
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March 8, 2008, 8:22 pm PST
Quote From: oet_gaol Well it's hard that you have all this information before hand but look at it this way if you didn't read these posts then you would have found out along the way aswell. But I think you are too worried for nothing, I hope I can take some of them away.
Now for the sexual act: I don't know what it was but you have to see that such a board provides anonimity so he can reveal deeper thoughts regarding his sexuality. See all men (okay most) fantasize about sex with two women doesn't mean that they actually would do it when the chance arises.
And even if he would like to try it, sex if something you do with two people. YOU HAVE A SAY, he can't force you to do something you are not comfortable with. If he loves you he'll just skip that part and enjoy the rest of the sex that you are comfortable with.
Now as for what type he falls for, well let's say that love works in mysterious ways. Here's my personal experience (I am a man) My "perfect" woman would be tall, have a B or C cup, have long red hair, have a few freckles, not too skinny, not to much fat etc. etc. etc. But in the end I fall for the face and personality. Non of my girlfriends had red hair, only one had freckles, not all where tall and so on. There is a difference between what you fantasize about and what you actually fall in love with. YOU CAN BE PERFECT FOR HIM!
Please forget about what you read and what you know. Enjoy, live in the moment and relax, if you stay worried so much then I assure you it will not work since you aren't there with him so you can't connect.
xx Oet Gaol Well, I'm sure you being a 'guy' it might be a little different than us women think..not sure...and NOT sure what Country you are from, but I've noticed some guys from diff. countries are very liberal when it comes to 'sex..so, with all do respect..I understand what you're saying..but, not sure I COMPLETELY agree with you..As a woman, I feel, I need to be careful..and I'd rather end it now, then get hurt..and learn later on..does this make sense?? Plus, there might be a age difference between us..and I'm not saying your looking for 'sex' yourself..BUT, still I'm NOT..I'm looking for a good man, with morals like mine, and as far as the 'sex part..well, FOR ME, that can wait..it's the closeness the feeling connected and respected is what I'm for..at least in the early stages.. I do see what your're saying though..That what a man, might what..it's just a fantasy..but, what IF it's not?? I mean, what IF he just likes to fool around..this man is 39..never married...no kids, nor does he want any..that's ok, because I had mine..here's a little info. on our friendship or whatever it is.. 1.) first of all we haven't been out on a weekend yet.. 2.) he's been gone 2 weekends, where he's been gone ALL weekend..but, he at least said that he had these plans before me..which is PERFECTLY fine..he does not owe me anything nor needs to explain..but, that's good he told me..the thing is: he goes away, and I don't feel he wants me to know that he's with another woman..just my feelings..and he goes away ALL weekend...and once, he said he went to the opera..so, I know it's NOT with a man..but, still that's ok..I just wish he could tell me..be open, like I have been..I mean, I won't even hear from him ALL WEEKEND, and he just says..he'll call Sun. night..?? IF he's sleeping with a woman, I feel he needs to tell me..I told HIM I would tell him..but, also, I can't do that..because, IF I DID...I certainly, wouldn't be seeing him.. 3.) This talking about the sexual things online..to strangers..well, some of it is ok..but, I think the things he says, he kinda TOO MUCH, if you know what I mean..I mean, the man I'm going to be with..and have been with..would NEVER say things like that online..talking to someone in private sure..I would NOT be with someone, that talks of wanting to even experience with that kind of 'sex', because TO ME that's all it is..IS SEX..and I don't do that..I call it MAKING LOVE..but, again this is just me.. Yeah, he emailed me..because, perhaps he felt guilty..of what he is doing..I don't know..like I said, it's ok that he sees other women..but, NOT sexually! at least, he needs to tell me..so, I won't get that involved with him..and see others myself, in a 'dating' way..here's why I say this.. 1.) 3 dates - and getting somewhat romantic, at least to me it is..in the movies, for instance..he was starting to make a move..he turned towards me and I got nervous..so, I held out my hand on his..and we held hands throughout the movies..then, he rubbed them..and went up my arm..and to my shoulder..and then, took a piece of my hair out of my face..so, he's getting MORE romantic towards me..and when the night ended, we kissed on the lips.. 2.) he emailed me and said HE LIKES ME A LOT..he's a lawyer..and this is funny..but, he said I'm the 'front runner' LOL...but, I think I know what that means..when, I was gone on a 2 wk. trip, right in the beginning and after our first date..he called me while I was away..and he said, he really missed me A LOT..so, after all this..then, why/how can a guy go away..and not just give me a short call?? or text me just once?? I'm NOT the clingy type..but, when I was away..I did..text him and sent him a picture...and yet when he goes away he's really AWAY....GONE... Like, I said I have NO problem with him seeing other women..at this stage I kinda expect it..but, having sex?? I don't think so..I mean, after how I FEEL we got closer on that 3 rd date...and how a man, can sex with another woman..I can't see..unless, he's really not that into me at all..then, IF that's the case..I have the right to know.. He had this older woman (he likes older women, and she's older by at least 20 yrs. wow) and he's been friends with her for 16 yrs..(she's married, but separated and never plan on getting a divorce, because of their adult children that are like in their 30's) and they became intimate in Oct..but, he needed her to get a divorce..IF they continue..but, she said she can't..and for him, to date others..so, he did..but, I feel he's seeing her still..that she can't let him go...and afterall, he does get sex from her..so, how can he pass that up??? he's NOT getting it with me, and I think he knows it's going to take awhile.. So, what to you all think about this?? Thanks for reading this Dee |
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March 9, 2008, 11:48 am PDT
Quote From: dee0123 Well, I'm sure you being a 'guy' it might be a little different than us women think..not sure...and NOT sure what Country you are from, but I've noticed some guys from diff. countries are very liberal when it comes to 'sex..so, with all do respect..I understand what you're saying..but, not sure I COMPLETELY agree with you..As a woman, I feel, I need to be careful..and I'd rather end it now, then get hurt..and learn later on..does this make sense?? Plus, there might be a age difference between us..and I'm not saying your looking for 'sex' yourself..BUT, still I'm NOT..I'm looking for a good man, with morals like mine, and as far as the 'sex part..well, FOR ME, that can wait..it's the closeness the feeling connected and respected is what I'm for..at least in the early stages.. I do see what your're saying though..That what a man, might what..it's just a fantasy..but, what IF it's not?? I mean, what IF he just likes to fool around..this man is 39..never married...no kids, nor does he want any..that's ok, because I had mine..here's a little info. on our friendship or whatever it is.. 1.) first of all we haven't been out on a weekend yet.. 2.) he's been gone 2 weekends, where he's been gone ALL weekend..but, he at least said that he had these plans before me..which is PERFECTLY fine..he does not owe me anything nor needs to explain..but, that's good he told me..the thing is: he goes away, and I don't feel he wants me to know that he's with another woman..just my feelings..and he goes away ALL weekend...and once, he said he went to the opera..so, I know it's NOT with a man..but, still that's ok..I just wish he could tell me..be open, like I have been..I mean, I won't even hear from him ALL WEEKEND, and he just says..he'll call Sun. night..?? IF he's sleeping with a woman, I feel he needs to tell me..I told HIM I would tell him..but, also, I can't do that..because, IF I DID...I certainly, wouldn't be seeing him.. 3.) This talking about the sexual things online..to strangers..well, some of it is ok..but, I think the things he says, he kinda TOO MUCH, if you know what I mean..I mean, the man I'm going to be with..and have been with..would NEVER say things like that online..talking to someone in private sure..I would NOT be with someone, that talks of wanting to even experience with that kind of 'sex', because TO ME that's all it is..IS SEX..and I don't do that..I call it MAKING LOVE..but, again this is just me.. Yeah, he emailed me..because, perhaps he felt guilty..of what he is doing..I don't know..like I said, it's ok that he sees other women..but, NOT sexually! at least, he needs to tell me..so, I won't get that involved with him..and see others myself, in a 'dating' way..here's why I say this.. 1.) 3 dates - and getting somewhat romantic, at least to me it is..in the movies, for instance..he was starting to make a move..he turned towards me and I got nervous..so, I held out my hand on his..and we held hands throughout the movies..then, he rubbed them..and went up my arm..and to my shoulder..and then, took a piece of my hair out of my face..so, he's getting MORE romantic towards me..and when the night ended, we kissed on the lips.. 2.) he emailed me and said HE LIKES ME A LOT..he's a lawyer..and this is funny..but, he said I'm the 'front runner' LOL...but, I think I know what that means..when, I was gone on a 2 wk. trip, right in the beginning and after our first date..he called me while I was away..and he said, he really missed me A LOT..so, after all this..then, why/how can a guy go away..and not just give me a short call?? or text me just once?? I'm NOT the clingy type..but, when I was away..I did..text him and sent him a picture...and yet when he goes away he's really AWAY....GONE... Like, I said I have NO problem with him seeing other women..at this stage I kinda expect it..but, having sex?? I don't think so..I mean, after how I FEEL we got closer on that 3 rd date...and how a man, can sex with another woman..I can't see..unless, he's really not that into me at all..then, IF that's the case..I have the right to know.. He had this older woman (he likes older women, and she's older by at least 20 yrs. wow) and he's been friends with her for 16 yrs..(she's married, but separated and never plan on getting a divorce, because of their adult children that are like in their 30's) and they became intimate in Oct..but, he needed her to get a divorce..IF they continue..but, she said she can't..and for him, to date others..so, he did..but, I feel he's seeing her still..that she can't let him go...and afterall, he does get sex from her..so, how can he pass that up??? he's NOT getting it with me, and I think he knows it's going to take awhile.. So, what to you all think about this?? Thanks for reading this Dee Well I do have to say I am from a country which is more open towards sex (I discuss it with friends (most of them are female btw) every now and then.
As a woman, I feel, I need to be careful..and I'd rather end it now, then get hurt..and learn later on..does this make sense?? Well it does make sense, no one wants to get hurt, me neither. We all want to have a partner with which we feel happy. No one wants that it ends if they are happy. But how do you know? If you don't go into the water how will you know if you can swim? And even if it doesn't work out in a couple of months time wouldn't you want the happy times in between? If you stop now you'll never know what can or can't be. if you go on, at least you'll know if he's right for you or not. The terrible feeling of ending in failure fades away pretty soon while the nagging feeling of never knowing stays constant for long. (believe me I know...) he said he went to the opera..so, I know it's NOT with a man Well I enjoy going to the theatre, and so do other men. I go all the time with my friends (though again they are mostly female), doesn;'t mean it has to be romantic he's been gone 2 weekends, where he's been gone ALL weekend..but, he at least said that he had these plans before me..which is PERFECTLY fine Is it? I mean your post says yes but in between the lines I read no. But why didn't you ask where he was going? Not in the interrogative style but in the enthousiastic spontanious you! (oh great where are you going then, who are you going with maybe put in an anakdote yourself here and there etc.) I mean your heads racing with all these thoughts now of what might or might not have happened, maybe he went on a fishing trip. (okay you don't have an opera there but it's a matter of speech...) I mean, the man I'm going to be with..and have been with..would NEVER say things like that online And well you have found a man that does, it doesn't mean that he'll go out posting what you might be doing in a couple of months. In a way internet has privacy too, even though everyone can read a post, if you don't post a picture online nobody will know who you truly are. I was gone on a 2 wk. trip, right in the beginning and after our first date..he called me while I was away..and he said, he really missed me A LOT. Well the difference is that you are gone and having fun and he is not in this instance. Now he is having fun and maybe forgets it Men aren't raised to be attentive and social so he doesn't think of you being home and forgets to call. Express that to him "honey I'd like it if you'd called saturday to let me know how it is there" or whatever you'd feel comfortable with. having sex?? I don't think so.. And right you are if he is kick him out, I'd feel the same way he does get sex from her..so, how can he pass that up??? Just like that say no he is not driven by instict he can (and should) say no. If he really needs it he can buy a dirty book or something. But I guess that they ended it. They came at a crossroad either she'd get a devorce and they could go to the next level or they'd end it. And the've chosen to end it. Relationships have to evolve in order to work otherwise it gets frustrating (because one wants more then the other), boring or both.
What I am trying to say overall is try not to fill in the blanks for him but give him a chance to do so or let it rest a bit, this what ou are doing now will only make you unsure and give you sleepless nights.
xx Oet Gäöl
(I hope this helped a bit...) |
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March 9, 2008, 3:55 pm PDT
Quote From: oet_gaol Well I do have to say I am from a country which is more open towards sex (I discuss it with friends (most of them are female btw) every now and then.
As a woman, I feel, I need to be careful..and I'd rather end it now, then get hurt..and learn later on..does this make sense?? Well it does make sense, no one wants to get hurt, me neither. We all want to have a partner with which we feel happy. No one wants that it ends if they are happy. But how do you know? If you don't go into the water how will you know if you can swim? And even if it doesn't work out in a couple of months time wouldn't you want the happy times in between? If you stop now you'll never know what can or can't be. if you go on, at least you'll know if he's right for you or not. The terrible feeling of ending in failure fades away pretty soon while the nagging feeling of never knowing stays constant for long. (believe me I know...) he said he went to the opera..so, I know it's NOT with a man Well I enjoy going to the theatre, and so do other men. I go all the time with my friends (though again they are mostly female), doesn;'t mean it has to be romantic he's been gone 2 weekends, where he's been gone ALL weekend..but, he at least said that he had these plans before me..which is PERFECTLY fine Is it? I mean your post says yes but in between the lines I read no. But why didn't you ask where he was going? Not in the interrogative style but in the enthousiastic spontanious you! (oh great where are you going then, who are you going with maybe put in an anakdote yourself here and there etc.) I mean your heads racing with all these thoughts now of what might or might not have happened, maybe he went on a fishing trip. (okay you don't have an opera there but it's a matter of speech...) I mean, the man I'm going to be with..and have been with..would NEVER say things like that online And well you have found a man that does, it doesn't mean that he'll go out posting what you might be doing in a couple of months. In a way internet has privacy too, even though everyone can read a post, if you don't post a picture online nobody will know who you truly are. I was gone on a 2 wk. trip, right in the beginning and after our first date..he called me while I was away..and he said, he really missed me A LOT. Well the difference is that you are gone and having fun and he is not in this instance. Now he is having fun and maybe forgets it Men aren't raised to be attentive and social so he doesn't think of you being home and forgets to call. Express that to him "honey I'd like it if you'd called saturday to let me know how it is there" or whatever you'd feel comfortable with. having sex?? I don't think so.. And right you are if he is kick him out, I'd feel the same way he does get sex from her..so, how can he pass that up??? Just like that say no he is not driven by instict he can (and should) say no. If he really needs it he can buy a dirty book or something. But I guess that they ended it. They came at a crossroad either she'd get a devorce and they could go to the next level or they'd end it. And the've chosen to end it. Relationships have to evolve in order to work otherwise it gets frustrating (because one wants more then the other), boring or both.
What I am trying to say overall is try not to fill in the blanks for him but give him a chance to do so or let it rest a bit, this what ou are doing now will only make you unsure and give you sleepless nights.
xx Oet Gäöl
(I hope this helped a bit...) I don't lose sleep over this..and maybe, I do overthink things..something, I'm trying to work on...I'm usually pretty good, and take things as they come..just, I'm more careful now..because, of certain things that happen recently...no one wants to get hurt..So, saying this..As a guy, you do feel I have the right or I should, tell him...about his weekends?? I feel funny about that..because, it almost feels like none of my business...I don't really have much experience in this area, as I've had mostly long term relationships..didn't do dating with this one and that one.. Hope I remember all what you posted..I don't know how to do that cut & paste thing..But, at my age, I feel one does have to protect their hearts more..See those 'red' flags sooner...which I think I have (for me) but, it doesn't mean he's not a good person... I just wanted to put this out there, for anyone that could give me their opinions..We had 3 dates..talked for about 2 mos..he's trying to get into a new law firm, and that takes time...and he gets busy with his interests it seems..and I think that's great, but I think it almost makes it impossible to start up a 'new' relationship..and I wish MEN would not do that..start something, that they SHOULD KNOW they are NOT prepared for..financially, career wise (if they are busy 24/7) then, don't even go there.. I think this is what happen..he was with this woman for 16 yrs..(friends only) she was separated by NOT divorce, nor ever will according to her..they became intimate in Oct..and SHE told him to date others..because, he would like to get married one day..so, he then said he's a FREE MAN..and yet, I guess he made this plans before he ask me out..but, then why doesn't he just tell me? That it's with this woman?? it's NO BIG deal...I told him that after our first date, I had previously made plans with someone to take a vacaton together...like, 2 mos. before..but, I told him..I text him and sent a picture while on this trip...and told him he's a friend...he lives in a different Country..and we are JUST FRIENDS and NOTHING happen..because, that was the truth..and I felt it was the right thing to do..to NOT have secrets.. But, then I get this feeling (and I could be wrong) as I said in my previous post..that when a man (in this country) goes away for a whole weekend..and goes to a OPERA not the movies..but, a OPERA not too many men like that..I figured, it's with her..and I wonder..did they share the same room? did they sleep together? because, he doesn't tell me anything..I didn't want to ask..I would of thought, he would just tell me..NOTHING TO HIDE, but in this case..it does seem like something IS TO BE HIDDEN.. I just feel I need to know the truth..so, I can make my plans accordingly..HE said he's calling me tonight..but, I just don't feel comfortable with waiting..because, he seems to always do that..he tells me "I will call you.....at this time"...and saying can I call you at this time?? will you be there?? Plus, and please don't think badly of me..but, I was thinking..that IF men play these games..I'm going along with it..I mean, just this once..I'm going to suggest going out during the week...I will meet him somewhere..I will wear my sexiest dress or clothes..(and drive him nuts LOL) and see his reaction..make him think, IF not telling me about this past weekend was worth it..espeically, IF he had sex with her..I'm tired of men playing THEIR games, with me..and leaving me feeling bad..it's time, they get a dose of their own medicine.. LOL.. I somewhat would love to get even...in a playful way...like, SEE this is what you gave up..to be with another woman...and I was wasn't worth the wait??????? Excuse, me IF I repeat..but, our 3rd date was last Tues..before, his weekend away..(this weekend) he started getting a little more romantic with me in the movies..he held my hand, and carassed it..stroking my arm and shoulders..then, pulled my hair away from my face..he was sweet and respectful! then, I kissed him good night..so, I think we got a little closer..and he said things to me..about being a couple..and that HE LIKED ME A LOT..but, after that..IF he slept with another woman OR that woman..it's over for me..I"m I wrong?? Thank You, Dee |
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March 12, 2008, 8:27 am PDT
Quote From: dee0123 I don't lose sleep over this..and maybe, I do overthink things..something, I'm trying to work on...I'm usually pretty good, and take things as they come..just, I'm more careful now..because, of certain things that happen recently...no one wants to get hurt..So, saying this..As a guy, you do feel I have the right or I should, tell him...about his weekends?? I feel funny about that..because, it almost feels like none of my business...I don't really have much experience in this area, as I've had mostly long term relationships..didn't do dating with this one and that one.. Hope I remember all what you posted..I don't know how to do that cut & paste thing..But, at my age, I feel one does have to protect their hearts more..See those 'red' flags sooner...which I think I have (for me) but, it doesn't mean he's not a good person... I just wanted to put this out there, for anyone that could give me their opinions..We had 3 dates..talked for about 2 mos..he's trying to get into a new law firm, and that takes time...and he gets busy with his interests it seems..and I think that's great, but I think it almost makes it impossible to start up a 'new' relationship..and I wish MEN would not do that..start something, that they SHOULD KNOW they are NOT prepared for..financially, career wise (if they are busy 24/7) then, don't even go there.. I think this is what happen..he was with this woman for 16 yrs..(friends only) she was separated by NOT divorce, nor ever will according to her..they became intimate in Oct..and SHE told him to date others..because, he would like to get married one day..so, he then said he's a FREE MAN..and yet, I guess he made this plans before he ask me out..but, then why doesn't he just tell me? That it's with this woman?? it's NO BIG deal...I told him that after our first date, I had previously made plans with someone to take a vacaton together...like, 2 mos. before..but, I told him..I text him and sent a picture while on this trip...and told him he's a friend...he lives in a different Country..and we are JUST FRIENDS and NOTHING happen..because, that was the truth..and I felt it was the right thing to do..to NOT have secrets.. But, then I get this feeling (and I could be wrong) as I said in my previous post..that when a man (in this country) goes away for a whole weekend..and goes to a OPERA not the movies..but, a OPERA not too many men like that..I figured, it's with her..and I wonder..did they share the same room? did they sleep together? because, he doesn't tell me anything..I didn't want to ask..I would of thought, he would just tell me..NOTHING TO HIDE, but in this case..it does seem like something IS TO BE HIDDEN.. I just feel I need to know the truth..so, I can make my plans accordingly..HE said he's calling me tonight..but, I just don't feel comfortable with waiting..because, he seems to always do that..he tells me "I will call you.....at this time"...and saying can I call you at this time?? will you be there?? Plus, and please don't think badly of me..but, I was thinking..that IF men play these games..I'm going along with it..I mean, just this once..I'm going to suggest going out during the week...I will meet him somewhere..I will wear my sexiest dress or clothes..(and drive him nuts LOL) and see his reaction..make him think, IF not telling me about this past weekend was worth it..espeically, IF he had sex with her..I'm tired of men playing THEIR games, with me..and leaving me feeling bad..it's time, they get a dose of their own medicine.. LOL.. I somewhat would love to get even...in a playful way...like, SEE this is what you gave up..to be with another woman...and I was wasn't worth the wait??????? Excuse, me IF I repeat..but, our 3rd date was last Tues..before, his weekend away..(this weekend) he started getting a little more romantic with me in the movies..he held my hand, and carassed it..stroking my arm and shoulders..then, pulled my hair away from my face..he was sweet and respectful! then, I kissed him good night..so, I think we got a little closer..and he said things to me..about being a couple..and that HE LIKED ME A LOT..but, after that..IF he slept with another woman OR that woman..it's over for me..I"m I wrong?? Thank You, Dee hey I read your post but I don't have the time now to respond, I'll do that as soon as I can.
xx Oet Gäöl |
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March 12, 2008, 11:51 am PDT
I have the most amazing man in my life, I am lucky to have him. We have be together 3 months and the sex is normally great. Occasionally there is a mishap, but it is not that big of a deal. If he loses his erection or can't get hard enough, he always takes care of me orally or otherwise. We have talked about it and I know it's not my fault. I just hate when I can't satisfy him. My question is: is there anything I can do to satisfy him in some way replace the need when we do have a problem? What do you do after he can't get it up? |
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March 12, 2008, 2:34 pm PDT
Quote From: oet_gaol hey I read your post but I don't have the time now to respond, I'll do that as soon as I can.
xx Oet Gäöl sorry, everyone...about that.. :) Take care, Dee |
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