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Topic : 12/04 Heroin Twins: The Intervention, Part 3

Number of Replies: 402
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Friday, December 01, 2006, 03:19:25 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil continues his work with twin sisters who are addicted to heroin and crack cocaine and were spiraling out of control. A few days into her detox, Sarah begins to emerge from her haze of drug use and painful withdrawal symptoms. Is she committed to the work involved with getting clean? Dr. Phil questions their mother, Cindy, about her own history of alcohol use and how she is sabotaging Tecoa’s sobriety and the health of her unborn baby. Then, Dr. Phil tracks down the sisters’ long-lost stepfather, Perry. They say his disappearance from their lives played a significant role toward their decline into drug use and prostitution. How does Perry explain his absence from their lives, and does his appearance bring closure for Sarah and Tecoa? As the twins begin to take their first steps toward a new life, Dr. Phil informs them that their paths of sobriety will be separate. Will they agree to go to different rehab centers to learn how to stand on their own two feet? Share your thoughts here.

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December 8, 2006, 10:03 pm CST

On your side, Tecoa and Sarah

Not only did Perry abandon his children when the going got tough, he made the rejection even worse by blaming them for unacceptable behavior that his un-fatherly actions created in the first place. Using his biological daughter as an excuse is a cowardly and self-righteous rationalization that I find utterly dispicable. He and his wife act like Tacoa and Sarah might "contaminate" their "real" daughter. How cruel and selfish. I think the only reason they came on the show in the first place was to assuage their own consciences.

 

A real father loves his children unconditionally, no matter what. Nohing could ever interfere with that love. Period.

 

Sending positive energy your way, Sarah and Tecoa.

 
December 9, 2006, 10:39 am CST

Thoughts Are With You

   My thoughts are with the twins and their Mom.  Not an easy road for sure.  I was a single Parent raising 3 boys.  My youngest at 16 was using, mostly pot, but also hard stuff.  He was in a horrific auto accident, semi vs El Camino.  Semi was on top of the bed of the car with four kids

trapped in the pickup bed.  Two hours to get them out and to the hospital  ThanK god they all

survived, and none were paralized.  But then came all the emotional stuff and adding to the mix

money.  I was not the strongest, I gave him a lot of emotional support but couldn't control him.

He received a payment from the insurance company and ran,  went through a $1000 in one day

 His brother and girlfriend came to the rescue.  We arranged to meet Bryan at a Mall,  You could tell he ws high.  WE talk and talk trying to get him to come with us,  he kept saying call the police.  So we did,  Kevin (his brother knew the officers in that area) The police came they couldn't do anything be cause no law was broken  but told Kevin  Do what you have to Do, Whatever it takes to get Bryan away from the guys he was hanging with.  Kevin and Kris  handcuff him put him in the car  and we drove him home.  Kevin literally sat on him for hours talking and talking, Bryan had that hard look (thats how I would describe it when nothing you said would penetrate)  Finally after hours.  That look went a way and he started talking like the Bryan we knew.    We did what we had to do the next couple of years as  a family, Riding the ups and downs, finally moving him in with Kevin and Kris.  Long story but he made it.

He is a very loving and caring person now and doing fine.  The only advise I have is  I always

said to my self (I know it sounds stupid), I am the Mother Bear and I WILL DO ANYTHING TO PROTECT MY CUBS.   Even with the mistakes I made  (No Dr. Phil at that time) My kids were my life.    So mothers make that your committment.        

 
December 9, 2006, 6:17 pm CST

Poppa Perry

The reunion of the twins with their long lost poppa added another dimension to putting the fragmented pieces of their life back together.  I think they should of had some one-on-one time with just him because it was obvious that he his wife was in control of that relationship and he could not express his emotions without stepping on a few toes.  The blame game was definitely being played by Sarah and Tecoa which is classic in this stage of their recovery. The rejection from poppa could have been a factor in the path they chose but their own self-rejection is now a huge problem and the focus and one of the first steps in recovery.  The twins have to accept, identify and forgive, themselves before they can form any kind of bond with another human being.  They have to look inside themselves for the source of their discomfort and make peace within before acceptance by others. Only time and hard work on them self will  heal these deep seated emotions, you have to remember this part of being human has been detached and learning to recognize emotions of caring, love and forgiveness will be foreign to them.  There is no feeling in a heroin addict, not for yourself or anyone else, heroin takes the pain away so far away its non existent.

 

I noticed alot of disagreement with bringing Poppa back into the girls world but at some point this reunion was necessary and hopefully maybe down that long road back, Poppa will be honest with himself and be there when the twins start taking those step in life that start with 12 very important steps that will be their foundation for the rest of their life. 

 

Good luck, and God Bless, God speed with your recovery and new lives. 

 

Blaze

 

 

 
December 10, 2006, 7:58 am CST

The real world!

I've read a lot of the post, and I can't help but to feel bewildered. People talking about addictions, but people are pointing a finger at a substance, a person, or genes within the body.     There are many factors as to why someone is the way they are. But, it all boils down to a release, or an escape from your emotions. Whether it's mind alliterating drugs ... street, legal, or prescribed ... physical or mental abuse, to yourself or someone else ... over eating, sex addiction, shopping, over spending money, even CO dependency... I could go on an on! But, I think the biggest problem with addictions is... People are not thinking! People can see everyone else's problems... But the mirror is foggy when they take a deep look at themselves. That's where solving an addiction starts! The next step is to learn how to show an example! Get a grip people ... you can't expect to help someone stop drugs, while your out at a night club drinking beer.     I have a rule of thumb, if something is OK for my 15 year old daughter, then it's OK for me. If it is not OK for my daughter, then it's not OK for me. If people would live by that rule, then those people might find out, where there own addictions are! Even if it's writing posts on your computer! :) Oh, and any addiction is hard to stop, but you have to be able to see the addiction first, then you have to really want to stop it!     
 
December 10, 2006, 2:25 pm CST

I know Sarah-If she reads this ever!!!!!!!!!!

     Sarah- I wrote you a little shout out from Cola Town. I hope you read it . So their are like a billion people on these boards that have really released pages and pages of their own stories. I'm just so proud of you. Please take a step back and look at how far you've come.All the bad things that lead you like an arrow straight to this show.Please understand that miracle and how you are a redemption song for so many.What a blessing you have on your life..and you must have some kick-butt guardian angels because you risen from the dead. I too have risen.There is beauty in this world and good.More love than loss.I pray for you-Hippie Liz from ColaT. Make us proud girl!!!!!!
 
December 10, 2006, 9:43 pm CST

take accountability

It irritated me to no end to hear the twins blame their addiction on their step dad.  HELLOOOOO he did not inject the drugs into your body.  People have suffered thru far worse childhoods than that of the twins' and they did not turn to drugs/alcohol.  Addiction starts as a choice - you choose to put it in your body.  I have lived with the nightmare of addiction - my father is an alcoholic - I chose not to do drugs/alcohol.  Stop blaming your situation on your childhood and take accountability for your actions. 
 
December 11, 2006, 8:45 am CST

What are our Politicians doing?

With so much of the talk from our politicians being what they want the subject to be,

I for one would like to see less money and time spent on stuff like Monuments and slandering each other and put it where it will matter most?

We cannot keep going like this without more young girls like that evolving out into our TVs.

How many under age and over legal age is on the streets, using drugs, prostituting, selling,

stealing, alcohol abuse and sexual abues and our Politicians still talk out to us about everything

but these subjects?  Drug abuse, alcohol abuse and sexual assaults is all tied into a ball of troubles in our society that is not minimizing since the 60's?  Just not so much out there to see!

The two girls on that show is a representation of so many, that is so sad!

 

We need a better voice representing us on these matters.

I am glad people like Dr. Phil is putting all these things in the media.

the other Media who rather give us politicians slandering each other or

debates on who is right or wrong in politics?  You are wrong if you do not

make a point of every day at least one minute or small section being on a victim of these problems to the public so they are not so ignored or left alone!

Our media is who can help fix this, stop making the news and report what helps

make our country and world a better place.

Dr. Phil is a good example of what our news should ALWAYS include in a daily

report to help make politicians better and more effective service to us all!

A paid news investgator and reporter can be used to seek out at least one

person a day to show how it is on the streets and put faces to the public of missing kids

and lost souls to be saved?  huh?

Over prescribed pain medication alone proves our country is way too ignorant about

addictions.  Alcohol is about every five miles of highways we travel and abuse of using alcohol

can and does lead to drug abuse.  Drugs are sold in every town, is used by every nationality and income bracket and by all intelligence ranges?  Drugs is a lethal weapon!

 

 
December 11, 2006, 10:12 am CST

All Confused

I had posted a message earlier.  I am engaged to a man who has two children with a heroin, crack addict.  The oldest just recently was brought to us after her mother gave up on her child to the drugs, the youngest was born addicted to heroin and adopted because the mother refuse to deal with all the problems the child had due to her addiction.  Ok here is my situation, the child is 8 years old she was brought to us after her mother went on a 3day high and left the child in an abandonded home.  The mother continues to use and live her life for the drugs.  All rights to this child were taken away from the mother last month.  Well every now and again when she feels guilty and is high she calls and we don't let her talk to her daughter because she is always high and makes all these empty promises and blames everyone else and puts guilt trips on the child.  What is the right thing to do.  I am just a girlfriend to the father of this child so really my opinion is taken,but for some reason he thinks that communication with their mother should be kept open.  I disagree and the reason why is i take care of this child more then the father due to work and outside activities, so do i have a place or should i just remove myself.   My boyfriend uses me as an inbetween because he does not get along with his daughter's family.  Honestly this whole situation has me stressed out, i have ill feelings towards the mother not only for what she done to this child but her other seven kids she lost rights to due to this addiction and the only rehab she gets is when she runs out of resources and this is only for 2-3 weeks then she finds addicts that put her up and then after her addiction starts up again she carries on until these friends won't put up with her.  It's the same thing month after month.  I need some friendly advice and direction.
 
December 11, 2006, 10:29 am CST

Why Are YOU offended?

Quote From: gaylew

Maybe he did not walk out on them but was pushed out by the mother and not allowed to help.  We did not hear the entire story of the interpersonal relationship with the mother or the kids.  They did have a visitation schedule and he tried to be in contact with the girls but was not given the total truth of what was actually going on.  I find it offensive you attribute the only reason for the problems was because he "knocked up some other chick"--it was his wife not some chick off the street.  At least have some respect for the people involved. 

 

First of all, I was mad at him b/c he didn't make an adequate effort to clean up his mess, regardless of whether or not he was "pushed" out.  He could have been a lot more diligent in facilitating that interaction.

 

SECOND, I never said that he was the ONLY reason these girls did what they did.  I was expressing anger that HE himself didn't seem all that accountable.  I never said I didn't respect anyone involved.

 

Third,  Renee was partly responsible for shutting out the twins.  I realize that having a bad influence around her kid was a sole reason for that, but severing ties completely when she knew they needed a father figure was cruel.  She seemed really icy about the whole thing.

 

And Fourth, he seemed to jump from one mess to another with little regard for what he leaves behind.

 

SO... you really shouldn't be offended, b/c i'm a girl (chick, whatever ) too, and should only be offended if you were actually involved, and MY money says you weren't.

 
December 11, 2006, 10:38 am CST

understanding addict behavior

Quote From: chipthecup

It irritated me to no end to hear the twins blame their addiction on their step dad.  HELLOOOOO he did not inject the drugs into your body.  People have suffered thru far worse childhoods than that of the twins' and they did not turn to drugs/alcohol.  Addiction starts as a choice - you choose to put it in your body.  I have lived with the nightmare of addiction - my father is an alcoholic - I chose not to do drugs/alcohol.  Stop blaming your situation on your childhood and take accountability for your actions. 

 My name is Candace and I am an addict myself, I believe that as an addict I held on to things as the twins did not only for an excuse to use but also as an addict we do not "work through" and "let go" of things in our past, we feel as if the world is out to get us and that we were victims ... until we address these things that we have held on too from our past such as divorce ect we can not move on and let go. I believe this was very important to the twin to go through, I do believe that their stepfather did play a part in them feeling worthless ect. The reason I say this is because my father did the same thing, he started a new family and didn't want a child with problems to interfere in his new life. I believe my father should try to understand his role in why I am who I am. I do NOT blame my father for my choices, but he did play a part in it. I have 5 months clean now and can relate very much to the pain the twins are going through and I pray they will take their lives back and work through what the need to to do that !! I understand it is hard for someone who does not hold on to situations or have an addict behavior in them to understand ... maybe this helps a little??

 
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