Topic : 12/04 Heroin Twins: The Intervention, Part 3

Hi I am an addict..I have struggled with addiction for 14 yrs...I can tell you from an addicts point of view  that all the love in the world will not stop us for using...I had and still have the most supportive family who thank God have not gave up on me...but the hard truth is you have to want to change..I have been clean from herion now for over two years...I went on the methadone program...I decided a year into that I wanted off...and within 6 weeks I was off methadone...and have been for a year...I refuse to a herion junkie again...But again it was my choice...

Your brother has to want to get clean, all you can do is be supportive, let him know you care, this is my opionon of course...my family didnt shut me out and I am glad they didnt cause I probably woundnt be writing this if they had,...I still smoke crack cocaine and inject cocaine not everyday but at least 3-4 times a week.......and its a rush...it numbs you...nothing matters but getting that next rock or fix,,,,but everyone around me knows the signs...which are moody, disappearing for hours or days, or spending to much time in the bathroom, always needing a lighter, spoons that are bent..black on the bottom, your pupils go huge, you cant sit still, your body is racing....and the come down sucks...you feel lost, lonely, empty, you want that rush so bad it can make you say and do mean things to people especially the ones you love the most cause they will usually always take it from us..makes you wonder why after your down why you would want to do it all over again...

We lie, we steal, we do what we have to, to get drugs, we make up stories that sound great to us but make no sense to someone else...we play on people emotions, weakness, thats what addicts do. We lie about where are money has gone...say we spent it on things that we dont have...lent it to people..and never get it back...And Blame other people for are using...we always can find an excuse to use. I am over the blame part...I know now that everything I do is cause I want  to...its all about choices and yes I am still making wrong ones but its getting better...

There are lots of support groups around...for people affected by others addictions...you probably could find one on here. Hope things change for the better for you.,,,,

  The father through legal adoption should have told his wife that he had a responsibility.  You don't just dump a kid b/c they have problems.  You talk to them, work it out, get them help, spend time with them.  He didn't even have to take them into his house, just spend time with them and be there for them.  That would have helped a lot.

Some kind of visitation schedule should have been arranged thru the court with some other relative (not the mom) having sole custody.  That way the "dad" could be in their lives without the "danger" of them being around the baby. 

I guess if you knock up some other chick, everyone else has to suffer.

Yes, 20 years, and several years of courtship.

Certainly you can't believe that that was all easy sailing.  The easiest thing to do is quit when the going gets tough and generally the first two years are the hardest. 

We served 10+ years in the Army, where we met.  We had 3 children and had to leave them at times and moved several times-with one of us usually having to resign a job.

Then there was Desert Storm---total separation and the unknown.

And you can not be SURE that Perry and Rene are doing a great job raising their child just as you can not be sure of what Cindy and her daughters lives were when they were with Perry.

     My ex-husband (father of four of my children) Is currently in active addiction and has been since our divorce in 1998. At the time of our divorce the kids were, 10,9,8,& 5 years old.  His contact has always been speratic ( we didn't hear from him for 2 years at one point) he is usually under the influence when he does call, and every time he does talk to them he makes empty and broken promises. I have always been honest with my children, never bad-mouthing their father. (no matter how much he irritated me)

     I did let him talk to them and see them whenever he wanted. As much as it hurt to see them heartbroken and dissapointed, I needed to let them talk to & see him for him and not what I wanted them to see him to be. I made sure their safety was my first priority so I chose safe neutral family members for him to see them at their place.

     He has bad-mouthed me to them and tried to blame me for the limited contact but they knew better. I did not feed into it and continued to allow him to talk to them no matter what he sounded like when he called. When they got off the phone or after a visit my children may have acted differently as a response the their dissapointment. I just held them, told them I loved them and that in his own way, their father loved them too.

     My children are now, 18, 17, 16, & 12 years old. They respect me for NEVER keeping them from their father. They do not believe one word their father says so they are less heartbroken and dissapointed. I come out to be the "good guy".

     I was kept from my father and lost respect for my mother as a result of it. It was not easy all of these years, but I did for my kids. I had a lot of people telling me I was wrong but my kids do not think that at all. your 8 year old girl WILL resent you if you get in the way. Just make sure she is safe and that she knows she can confide in you when she is dissapointed by her mother (because she will be).

     Do not feed into the mothers negativity. Be better than that. I guarrentee, the child will eventually figure it out. God bless you, Lonnie O'Neill

No problem.  I'm sure my post did read rather "questionable".

You sure hit the nail on the head with this post. 

If Cindy doesn't "get it" when Sarah and Tecoa get out of rehab, then I hope those twins will be strong enough to make the right decision as to whether or not their own mother can even be in their lives.  Sounds harsh, but they are of age and they need peace once and for all -- no matter who they have to cut out of their lives.

I honestly didn't realize just how epidemic these street drugs are.  I'm not completely ignorant, but I read every single one of the second shows posts - I wasn't feeling well that day -  and the testimony's were very uplifting and disturbing at the same time if that makes sense.