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Topic : 12/04 Heroin Twins: The Intervention, Part 3

Number of Replies: 402
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Created on : Friday, December 01, 2006, 03:19:25 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil continues his work with twin sisters who are addicted to heroin and crack cocaine and were spiraling out of control. A few days into her detox, Sarah begins to emerge from her haze of drug use and painful withdrawal symptoms. Is she committed to the work involved with getting clean? Dr. Phil questions their mother, Cindy, about her own history of alcohol use and how she is sabotaging Tecoa’s sobriety and the health of her unborn baby. Then, Dr. Phil tracks down the sisters’ long-lost stepfather, Perry. They say his disappearance from their lives played a significant role toward their decline into drug use and prostitution. How does Perry explain his absence from their lives, and does his appearance bring closure for Sarah and Tecoa? As the twins begin to take their first steps toward a new life, Dr. Phil informs them that their paths of sobriety will be separate. Will they agree to go to different rehab centers to learn how to stand on their own two feet? Share your thoughts here.

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December 4, 2006, 10:50 am CST

"Tecoa'smorals"

Quote From: draven

i read on the website though, under Tecoa's profile, that this is NOT Tecoa's first pregnancy.  she has a son from before who the biological father has custody of now, b/c she abandoned him after he was born to go back on the streets and back to a life of drug use.  and now, in her second pregnancy, she is drinking, smoking, and has done heroin at six months along.  i want to have hope for her, too, but i am starting to wonder if she cares at all about this baby, since she is giving it up for adoption, maybe she simply doesn't care how he/she turns out after birth, since she won't be responsible for him.  i hope that isn't the case, but all the evidence seems to indicate this. also, i saw on the webcam for part three, that Cindy (her mother) begged her to stop smoking until the baby was born.  Tecoa flatly refused and said she could not promise that.  and then she LAUGHED when her mother became angry with her.  she LAUGHED, as though her mother's concern for the health of her baby was some sort of joke.  what kind of a person would do that?  i have to wonder about this girl's morals.  i have hope that she learn to live drug free, but still, she comes across as being ENTIRELY self-centered to me.  and that is so sad for that infant she is carrying.

     I have to say that this is not surprising to me, in fact it is extremely normal for her to be acting this way. Tecoa is coming out of a long period of selfishness and self-centeredness. Having this experience myself, my children couldn't keep me clean, I couldn't stop using durring one of my pregnancies because of the combination of the addiction and the self evolvement addiction entails.

      I felt my child would be better off without me because of how I was living my life. Tecoa is not yet with the right emotions it takes to be thoughtful of others. There is a sense of overwelming guilt, something inside of her saying "it's already too late so why stop now".

     I can tell you what kind of person she is and why she laughed because I was her... She is a woman who had lost herself to the disease of addiction and who has been resorting to animalistic behaviors to survive and get high. A woman who is just learning to live one moment at a time, one day at a time and facing emotions is much too difficult yet. So she laughs to replace her akwardness she is truly feeling inside. All she can think about is trying to get by without drugs.

      I encourage anyone with doubt to pray and ask God to lead you in your thoughts and not be in judgement. Just because you do not understand something does not mean it is what it apears to be on the surface. I will pray for all those who do not understand and refer you to Nar-Anon. May God bless you, Lonnie O'Neill St.Cloud, Minnesota

 

 

 
December 4, 2006, 11:25 am CST

WOW!

Quote From: new2unme

Thank God she's giving it up for adoption, and I will commend her on that. She could choose to keep the baby, draw a welfare check and then neglect the child. This may be the only responsibel choice she's ever made.

     I just had to let you know that I am praying for you. Your judgement against this girl could have been left unsaid... Yes, not only it is a very responsible decision but a difficult one as well. No matter what kind of mother you may think she is/was (in addiction), she is still a mother who mustered up enough love in her to do what was right for her children and yet she is judged for that too. Now that she has found recovery, she may decide to keep the baby, get a job, and provide for her child like any other single mother in our country! Not alll single mothers are on welfare and neglect their child. You have no right to "stereotype"

 

This message is for Tecoa... YOU GO GIRL!!!!! Don't let coments about you past or present determine what you are doing today! You are a child of God and He loves you!!!!!

 

May God bless you, Lonnie O'Neill St.Cloud, Minnesota

      

 
December 4, 2006, 11:37 am CST

Mother's responsibility

What totally amazes me...................the mother.......these girls are HER responsibility........HER number one job..........HER number one concern...........HER number one priority...........when we decide to have children........we as parents have taken on a new job a new responsibilty.............The mother has NOT done this.............she has failed as so many parents have in this country.............

 

 

 
December 4, 2006, 11:43 am CST

Hope for the best

It seems obvious so far that Dr. Phill doesn't take the addiction is a disease approach. I am in recovery myself and I don't understand his motives with the twins. Also..Detox first then therapy..it seems like so much to take in for a person in detox mode. I agree with the twins and mom on that one ; When a person is in physical pain it is beyond difficult to focus on anything else. I truley hope the twins can find thier way in sobriety and hope that Dr. Phills' ideas work.
 
December 4, 2006, 11:45 am CST

My Heart Goes Out To These Girls

I am 14 and a half years old and have spastic dyplegic CP, so I know anything in life can be a struggle, and I know what it's like to have a father abandon you, as my biological father is a deadbeat, and my stepfather is addicted to alcohol , Pot and other drugs, he has hurt me real bad over the yrs, he was the only father I had and then one day he just got angry and told me I was dead to him..he abused me in every imaginable way, so I know how these girls feel in the aspect of losing their father, and their mother , she acts like she didn't care about them, like she kind of feels she can check in and out whenever she pleases...REALITY CHECK- she needs to know what her daughters are doing, and she could of set some boudaries for them and maybe this wouldn't of happened. it was their choice they made, but they probably made it because they feel no one in their family cares or will be there for them...!!! Been there going through that...all of my family except for my Grandpa is judgemental of me and everything I do, and it's hard because they think I'm different because of my disability and I'm not. and I don't act it. I just go on living my life and doing what I love doing, which is singing, its my God given talent and I don't know what I'd do without it, It's what keeps me going, My friends are also a big help. and My neices and nepews give me a reason to wake up. Its not to say I dont love my family because I do, I have a connection with them because they are family, we talk and know what's going on, as far as what Choices I make but I don't have the support and love from them I would like , but that's ok, because I'm strong and I have God, He's gotten me through alot of things..and I'm thankful for that...I was lucky enough to meet my Idol. Reba McEntire through a wish foundation, He has blessed me in so many ways, and has showed me whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger, and that's what all the negativity from my family has done. I focus on the people who love me , and that care, my Mom keeps care of me with what I need and I love her for that, she just doesnt give me support and love in what I do , We're very distant, she gives me what I need and I love her for that, but thats as far as it goes its like she hasnt taken the extra step into being a mother that she should. because she doesnt want to I dont think, Anyways Sarah and Tecoa Just know people do love you , and are there for you if I can help in any way let me know.!! ...All My love

 

Vicky

 
December 4, 2006, 11:49 am CST

Gotta share..

Dr. Phil,

 

My heart goes out to these twins! It is so wonderful that you are helping them!  However,  I had no idea that one show could stir up so many emotions!! I am so glad that you got the father to come talk to them. I really don't think they will have any chance of having a full recovery, until they can deal with the emotions that they are trying to fill w/the drugs. I'm sure it really helped the girls to express thier pain to the father. Although they had started having behavioral problems at the time, and maybe he felt his reasons were justified; however,  they WERE ABANDONED.

 

I wanted to share my own experience with detoxing off of drugs. A few years ago, a Dr. (that I fully trusted) placed me on Oxycotin for pain control. I have a brain disease, and he told me he felt like the Oxycotin would be safer than taking Lortab. I was like a zombie and was addicted within a couple of weeks. At the time I was married, and didn't want to live doped up all of the time-I could hardly function. My marriage was suffering due to the medical issues, and I felt as if I would save my marriage if I admitted myself into a drug detox. I stayed in the detox hospital only a week...and while it made my physical symptoms easier to bear, I went through a severe depression. When I was released from the hospital, I came home to have my husband say, "I'm not qualified  to deal with detox-you should have been kept in the hospital." He moved out for several days, leaving my mother to deal with the depression. I share this- because watching the father say that he couldn't get involved with the twins recovery at this time-brought back how  painful it is for someone "not wanting to deal with someone who is hurting".

 

I realize my experience is different, I wasn't on the street looking for drugs. The Dr. thought he was doing the right thing by placing me on the drug. However, going through detox is hard as Hell-no matter how you got addicted to the substance.  It breaks my heart that others are so judgemental towards people who get in trouble. It is so great that you're making sure that these girls are healing,both emotionally & detoxing off of the drug. It's great that you realize these twins  are hurting, precious, and worth saving,

 

 
December 4, 2006, 11:50 am CST

12/04 Heroin Twins: The Intervention, Part 3

Quote From: ljlu7654

 

I believe he made the right choice. The Father gave them a choice to live w/him, and they (((chose)) the wrong way. He didn't abandon them as I see it. They chose the Mother and drugs/alcohol, and the life they had, including getting pregnant twice now??

 

. Why is everyone blaming him? He offered to let them come and live with him. They continued to choose drugs, why should he bring that to his new family?

 

As for them feeling abandoned?? When my Dad found me and adopted me, his wife did also. When my Dad died suddenly, she never even wanted me at his service, and I didn't know why.  She adopted me and became my Mother and,  I thought she loved me, and still she blew me out of her life using her daughter in law to do it. She never even told me why, and I never did drugs or alcohol, she gave me a reason according to these girls thinking, right.

 

 So the abuse/abandonment excuse is just that, an excuse. How convenient for them to blame the Father. He offered them choices, they chose, now they blame him? It's a cop out,  biology or not. I could easily have become a drunk, had I chosen that path. I didn't chose that, and I still got dumped by my Fathers wife, my adoptive Mother. I held it together, they had each other and a Mom, if I can make it alone, they could have too. It's hard to blame the dad, that's all.

I totally agree with you, Lilu.  I'm sorry your adoptive mother let you down.  It certainly is to your credit that you turned into such a fine person after all that.  Good for you!
 
December 4, 2006, 11:56 am CST

I wish I knew the answer

All three of my sisters have had addictions that range from speed to alcohol.  I cannot even begin to explain how I have felt. Currently, my "favorite" sister is so mad at me she will not even speak to me.  I sent her an e-mail telling her how upset I was with her for drinking so much.  She thinks all of us in Georgia do nothing but sit around and talk about her.  SOmetimes we do, but it's because we don't know what we can do to help her.  She clearly doesn't think she has a problem because she gets so mad at us.  I wish I knew how I can help her without getting her mad at me.  All she has done is trade one addiction for another.  She has three wonderful daughters and the best husband anyone could ask for.  What is her rpoblem??  Can anyone help with advice?
 
December 4, 2006, 12:02 pm CST

addicition

I know what addiction is all about .But when I see two young ladies wasted away with that garbage,I cry.When I know these were two cute little girls growing up and seeing the pictures of how beautiful you's"were".Suck it up girls when I say were ,you's look all used up and basically that's what you 2 are....But we have the power and strength to get better.Physically your faces have taken beatings from this crap.Not all of us are lucky enough to have Dr.Phil 's help,and the 2 of you do.By all means girls run with it,or you 2 will die and be just another statistic.You have a purpose god bless you's and maybe you's will find it.Just PLEASE remember you may think the addicition has you,NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO you have the addiction,Get the strength to get that s.o.b  of an addiction killed.Please you have alot to offer and maybe on day you can be teaching others.people can call you crack whore and all kinds of names and in reality you are.But I look at you two like someone has to love you .And it ain't know high profile person who wants a B.J. P.s To the people who have paid to do these young woman ,,,come on ya sick@#$#,if you can tell they are sick there is something wrong.Good Luck And God Bless you...My heart is with the two of you while you are on your journey.
 
December 4, 2006, 12:05 pm CST

12/04 Heroin Twins: The Intervention, Part 3

Quote From: rebasusielover

I am 14 and a half years old and have spastic dyplegic CP, so I know anything in life can be a struggle, and I know what it's like to have a father abandon you, as my biological father is a deadbeat, and my stepfather is addicted to alcohol , Pot and other drugs, he has hurt me real bad over the yrs, he was the only father I had and then one day he just got angry and told me I was dead to him..he abused me in every imaginable way, so I know how these girls feel in the aspect of losing their father, and their mother , she acts like she didn't care about them, like she kind of feels she can check in and out whenever she pleases...REALITY CHECK- she needs to know what her daughters are doing, and she could of set some boudaries for them and maybe this wouldn't of happened. it was their choice they made, but they probably made it because they feel no one in their family cares or will be there for them...!!! Been there going through that...all of my family except for my Grandpa is judgemental of me and everything I do, and it's hard because they think I'm different because of my disability and I'm not. and I don't act it. I just go on living my life and doing what I love doing, which is singing, its my God given talent and I don't know what I'd do without it, It's what keeps me going, My friends are also a big help. and My neices and nepews give me a reason to wake up. Its not to say I dont love my family because I do, I have a connection with them because they are family, we talk and know what's going on, as far as what Choices I make but I don't have the support and love from them I would like , but that's ok, because I'm strong and I have God, He's gotten me through alot of things..and I'm thankful for that...I was lucky enough to meet my Idol. Reba McEntire through a wish foundation, He has blessed me in so many ways, and has showed me whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger, and that's what all the negativity from my family has done. I focus on the people who love me , and that care, my Mom keeps care of me with what I need and I love her for that, she just doesnt give me support and love in what I do , We're very distant, she gives me what I need and I love her for that, but thats as far as it goes its like she hasnt taken the extra step into being a mother that she should. because she doesnt want to I dont think, Anyways Sarah and Tecoa Just know people do love you , and are there for you if I can help in any way let me know.!! ...All My love

 

Vicky

You too are a tough cookie for a young girl....Keep it up sweetie!
 
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