Topic : 12/04 Heroin Twins: The Intervention, Part 3

I am a bit surprised that Dr Phil made the comment  ,, I didn't know quitting was an option when it came to parenting,,.  I have also been exposed to a family member on drugs. It took our family accepting that we had been enabiling our family member that was on drugs. That the best way for us to help was to stop taking her choices on and giving her choices back to here and letting her own them, then and only then could she address her choices and decide if she wanted to stop using. I feel that Perry tried to offer the twins an option to  live with him and his wife. Cindy was such an easy mark for the twins.They are very manipulative and mom is not that strong. Addicts know the  people they can manipulate. Perry was blamed unfairly ,in my opinion, for choosing not to allow the girls in his life if they wanted to continue down their same path of distruction. He offered "Tough Love Dr Phil, not abandoment issues. I feel he made a wise choice in not allowing the girls back in his life.  The twins will see all the this (show issues)

differently if and when they choose to become healthier.  Poisening another family (Perry's)

was not an option, and I felt very sad on one hand and proud of Perry and his wife on the other, they made the "tough love" choice. That took courage.

I know Perry wants all that is good for his girls. I also understand why he felt the girls needed to make the commitment to invest in his guidelines, home and living conditions and not

in Cindy's If he did tell the girls they needed to make a choice of contact with Cindy . Cindy still carries some issues about Perry. That is her illness, hope she gets the help she needs to detach and grow in her own right. Lots of emeshment between the twins and her right now. This situation was only going to work out if the twins received help from a professional setting anyhow. Parents are not equiped to handle addicts on their own. I give Dr. Phil and his staff much credit for giving the girls the choice.  thanks

Run in such a way to get the prize. (1 cor 9:24). The girls are taking responsibility. Maybe for the first time. We have all had our hearts broken for one reason or another. The paths we take will not all be the same. there are too many variables that make up a person and the choices they will make. But TODAY, they have been given hope and help. They will receive tools that they had not before possessed. And they can become amazing human beings. I for one support them. I used heroin and cocaine for many yrs. I did all the same dirt they did. I have been hospitalized several times. Suicide attempts. complete void of hope. This is not the life these girls wanted for themselves. They had dreams like everyonwe else. I will be praying for them. I now have a sweet life. I have 3 beautiful children, I am married to a wonderful man of God. I am a leader in m y church. I now help other people who want to recover from drugs. My life has been So blessed. I threw away any guilt or shame from the past. Realizing it was only a cancer in my life to allow those feeelings. Regret, sure. These girls are precious. they just need to learn that themselves. And hopefully one day soon, They too will have an awesome testimony and pass it on. This time will onyl become a reference point in their lives. They have to face their demons head on, and keep their eyes on the prize. They will have to reach down deep inside for the soldier in themselves, and battle up. Because this will be a war for their very lives. They can come out victorious. It is not the size of the dog inthe fight, but the size of the fight in the dog.

I am glad that the twins look so much better.

Sarah looked really great for what she went through.

I only hope that they can remain clean and remember that

things can only get better.  I know someone that did heroin

she was never really the same.  She is extremely paranoid

and makes the family nuts.  I just can not imagine what she

will be like years from now.  When she is not imagining things she

is causing so much trouble that her family can not stand to be around her.

It is a shame for she would give you the shirt off her back.

 I have to say, Dr Phil hit the nail on the head! At that point and time the girls were getting into trouble with delinquent behavior. I believe they were acting out as a direct result of the situation at hand. Dad married someone else,  having a new baby and living 1500 miles away! I am sorry, but that is a whole lot of change to handle even for an adult. I believe the mother (who by the way has accepted absolutly NO responsibility in any of this) contributed to the situation. The abandonment is real but it it not always one-sided. I thought the father and step mother were extremely selfish and judgemental.

     you said 'My sister has problems that our family has to in ways separate her.  I have made the decision not to talk toyou to protect my son'. 

     I had a son I had to place out of the home at the age of 10 because of his violent behavior. I NEVER gave up on him. We needed help and unfortunately the help ended in seperating him from myself and his siblings for several years! We did not have any contact what-so-ever for 2 and a half years! By the Grace of God, he is back in our lives, will be 17 in Feb. and I have been to ALL of his extra carricular activities and involved in his education since we found him! There is no reason to 'Completely abandon' anyone! (Of course he was told I abandoned him and we have worked through all of that as well).

      You just have to know how to love them from a distance and go to where they are without jeopardizing your family. There is a way to support someone with problems without enabling them. This is what I think is missing.

God bless you all, Lonnie , Minnesota