Topic : 12/04 Heroin Twins: The Intervention, Part 3

First of all, I was mad at him b/c he didn't make an adequate effort to clean up his mess, regardless of whether or not he was "pushed" out.  He could have been a lot more diligent in facilitating that interaction.

SECOND, I never said that he was the ONLY reason these girls did what they did.  I was expressing anger that HE himself didn't seem all that accountable.  I never said I didn't respect anyone involved.

Third,  Renee was partly responsible for shutting out the twins.  I realize that having a bad influence around her kid was a sole reason for that, but severing ties completely when she knew they needed a father figure was cruel.  She seemed really icy about the whole thing.

And Fourth, he seemed to jump from one mess to another with little regard for what he leaves behind.

SO... you really shouldn't be offended, b/c i'm a girl (chick, whatever ) too, and should only be offended if you were actually involved, and MY money says you weren't.

 My name is Candace and I am an addict myself, I believe that as an addict I held on to things as the twins did not only for an excuse to use but also as an addict we do not "work through" and "let go" of things in our past, we feel as if the world is out to get us and that we were victims ... until we address these things that we have held on too from our past such as divorce ect we can not move on and let go. I believe this was very important to the twin to go through, I do believe that their stepfather did play a part in them feeling worthless ect. The reason I say this is because my father did the same thing, he started a new family and didn't want a child with problems to interfere in his new life. I believe my father should try to understand his role in why I am who I am. I do NOT blame my father for my choices, but he did play a part in it. I have 5 months clean now and can relate very much to the pain the twins are going through and I pray they will take their lives back and work through what the need to to do that !! I understand it is hard for someone who does not hold on to situations or have an addict behavior in them to understand ... maybe this helps a little??

I must admit that part of me agrees that blaming others for your problems can sometimes be a psycho cop out because we are all adults, and a lot of us had one or both parents let us down, abandon us, or some other form of neglect, but not all turn to drugs.  There are other ways to cope such as church, God, and  "loving friends".  Don't get me wrong I also know everyone makes bad judgments at one time or another. 

My MAIN REASON FOR REPLYING TO THIS  MESSAGE is to rag on the twins dad and step-mom.   I couldn't help but notice that his "wife" did most of the talking.  That got me to wondering if he was a man or mouse.  I had to agree with the twin (I can't remember which one it was) who said that he was "hen pecked" for a nicer word.  I understand their feelings about their biological daughter to an extent, but  her  (the wife)  putting her 2 cents worth in was just wrong. When he adopted those girls he by all purposes took on ALL the responsibilities of being their biological father.  I wonder if he is gonna do the same thing to his biological daughter if this happens to her.  (It can happen to Anyone, No one is immune).

Anyway, Sarah and Tecoa, in my book, you're better off without him if he can't stand up for what's right.  I put him up there even below a "deadbeat dad".

Good luck with your treatments.  I will continually pray for your recoveries

Patti

 wow!!! this show was so amazing , It has touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes...  I never image in my life that I would be so in to a show as I was with the twins....       cant wait to  see what happens to  these girls in the future and I pray and wish nothing but the best for them and yes mom too....

   I can relate to this story in so many ways which I know so many others can too...  It makes me want to just grab my kids and hug and kiss them and hope that they dont go down the path of destruction but in the same time I would want to know what step to take if I had to deal with it..

Me my self can learn and has learned so much since I am on the path of recovery myself I sometimes wonder when does it stop and I can say I am better but honetly It was been a struggle and fight for so long that I think that I will be recoverying the rest of my life and patching up things that I have riped....

any way enough of me I  also wanted to say that I think it was Sad that the step Dad could just basiclly abandon them like he had ... Im sure step Mom had alot to do with that ... those people made me so mad with reasons they  had. . Hello stepdad adopted these kids and I feel that he should have stuck it out with them but instead of dealing with the problem he just choose not too... A simple call and a visit .. Oh it makes me so anger cause I really can relate to that except in my case its my sons own father ...

Again I look forward to see what happen it will be a long road for these twins and I hope the best .  I know its a posability that  they may relapse but that is a part of recovery( I think)

This is my first post so please be nice and easy on me....

I found out on November 18, 2006 that my daughter was dead.  She died on May 21, 1995 in New York City.  I have kept on hoping I would hear from her when she matured.  It took the authorities 11 years to identify her body.  She is buried in Potter's Field.  She started taking drugs when she was 14 and I had a premonition of what would happen, but hoped that my worst fears would not come true.

To the twins I would say you have a choice, life or death.

From a mother who never gave up hope until now.

I usually miss the first 15-20 minutes of Dr. Phil due to getting off of work at 5 and the show airing at 5. However, three weeks ago this series started. I could not believe how much this show would touch me. My parents had me when they were 27, and I was the youngest of 3. My mother had grown up in a less than stable environment, and her lifestyle prior to marriage depicted it. She had overdosed 3 times before she was 21, but something amazing happened. I realize not all people believe in a higher being, and that is fine, but when my mother shared her life story with me it confirmed it for me. She had done every drug known to society at the time. However, when she met my father her life changed. My father had also grown up in a terrible, abusive environment, but somehow when they met God brought their lives to a peak. My mother had overdosed only 3 months prior to meeting my father, and regardless of numerous visits from clergy and other caring people she was not ready to give up that lifestyle.

Well, once her and my dad met she did give her life over to Jesus Christ, and her drug usage stopped there. I am not in anyway trying to sound like a pious Christian who is saying all these girls need is Jesus, I am aware of the intervention that is needed. I simply wanted to say how thankful I am that my mother was one who survived the grip of heroin and other drugs. As I watched this show I realized that the lifestyle these young girls are living could have been the one my mother chose. However, she chose herself and her life. I am blessed beyond measure because my mother is a survior and while religion and spirituality is what saved her, I hope these girls find their savior, because they still have a chance.

My mother is loved and respected by me and both of my brothers, we can't even imagine her being an addict, and I know for her that means the most. Children accept their parents regardless of what their parents do, and my mother's previous lifestyle has no bearing on her present or future. I hope these girls see this; the possiblity of them being able to help children of their own with their experience.