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Topic : 06/19 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Number of Replies: 191
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Created on : Friday, December 01, 2006, 03:21:00 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 12/05/06) Dr. Phil and Robin answer viewer questions! Melissa wrote in because her boyfriend, Destin, believes gambling is his right because he’s the man of the house. But Destin’s hobby caused them to lose their home, and Melissa fears that their son will grow up without basic necessities. Robin shares her own personal experience with a father who had a gambling problem and offers hope for this family’s future. Then, meet a couple at odds over whether giving their children “kiddie cocktails” will promote underage drinking and glorify alcoholic behavior. Plus, a young woman who thinks affection is “gross,” a woman who needs more romance, and a special surprise for an inspirational woman devoted to changing the lives of young burn victims. Join the discussion!

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December 4, 2006, 10:40 am CST

12/05 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: vevila

  I'd like to understand more about how this woman feels.  I have very severe PTSD after many years of abuse, and while I do hope the 'gross feeling' eventually subsides, there is no way on this earth that I can even think about being intimate with a man at this time in my life.
Sometimes I wonder if people confuse showing affection with having sex. Being affectionate does not always have to lead to a sexual encounter. Movies and TV shows have really blurred that line. Whatever happened to just holding hands with someone or giving someone a hug. Simple acts can have such meaning. There are people who are no longer in my life that I would my right arm to have one more hug from them. Especially my Dad and my Grandma.
 
December 4, 2006, 10:51 am CST

PTSD

Quote From: vevila

  I'd like to understand more about how this woman feels.  I have very severe PTSD after many years of abuse, and while I do hope the 'gross feeling' eventually subsides, there is no way on this earth that I can even think about being intimate with a man at this time in my life.

If Dr. Phil ever  does a show on PTSD, I would really like to know.  My therapist believes that I could use a regular psychiatrist (someone familiar with the disorder, of course) but my insurance, county benefits, will not cover that.

I have the dubious honor of being the 'poster child' of domestic abuse . . . but I am going on with my life as best as I can.

 
December 4, 2006, 4:17 pm CST

Gambling

I grew up with a girl who married a man with children.

He did not know the meaning of work.  She worked everyday

and put food on the table.  She kept a roof over their heads.

All for nothing.  He ended up going to the casino and lost

big and ended up siging his house over to pay the debt.

She ended up divorcing him and taking the children

and starting a new life.  His kids from his first

marriage are a mess. 

 

 

 

 
December 4, 2006, 5:36 pm CST

kiddie cocktails

Quote From: jonesfam6

Dr. Phil and Robin,

I am disappointed at the parents that would let anyone under the age to drink. I believe that it does promote drinking and irresponsible behavior. Children look at us for guidance and limitations and for any parent to allow drinking at a young age should be put in jail. I grew up in a very Italian family were this was normal but I and my sibling s drank at an early age. My husband and I drink but only if we go out to dinner. There is no alcohol in my home and if my children do see their dad drink a beer or for me a wine cooler they get mad. We as parents need to set the standards and my thinking is out of site out of mind. We are adults and we should do adult things but does that mean we should also allow our children to kiss or fondle their "boy or girls" friends at a young age because it looks cute. They are children and they do not know how to make adult decisions and really don't know how far is far. That is where we as parents come in. They will have time to drink later as adults and on their time an dime not mine.

   First of all you must not know that a kiddie cocktail is not an alcholic drink. Haven't you ever heard of a shirley Temple? The concern for the parents of this segment  is that immulating adult behavior could be sending the wrong message. The show hasn't even aired so how can you comment? Watch it tomorrow get the full story then you can judge .
 
December 4, 2006, 6:16 pm CST

Man of the house???

Dear Dr Phil,

 

I lived with a gambler thru most of my second marriage. Nothing good can come of it. He's gambling because there's something lacking in the relationship. Gambling is like a woman. It seduces you, makes you feel good. If you screw up, its ok. She'll let you make all the mistakes and screwups you want. Seduction is absolute. I had a death in the family and asked my husband (who is now deceased) to take my place because I had to work. He took the money and went to Atlantic City! I had to make up an excuse. How could I tell my sister???

 

Man of the house??? PLEASE!

 
December 4, 2006, 7:38 pm CST

12/05 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Having worked in a convinience store, I have seen GAMBLERS, now the machines aren't in the stores in my area (in th bars, even better huh?), but LOTTO TICKETS and SCRATCH TICKETS can be just as bad.

I have seen people drop hundreds in one evening just on lotto and scratch tickets, and do you think they are making their money back, not even close.

I have seen PARENTS buy these things for their kids, telling them its just for fun, can't sell them to the kids, but there's really nothing that can be done if the parent is buying them, I wonder where they get the money, until one evening a man came in and BEGGED us not to sell any more to his wife, they were going into bankruptcy, you see she was going to the local bar as well.

Have I played the machines, sure I have, but having ADD has kept me from becoming addicted, I simply can't sit still that long, but I know if I let him, my husband could, that's why we avoid the bars and casinos, thank goodness he knows that about himself.

But I told him LONG ago, that would NOT be acceptable, and I say what I mean and mean what I say, I tend to be very blunt and up front about things like that, he respects that, thank goodness!

As for drinking, I have never hidden the fact that I like a cold beer in July, here in Canada, deck season dosen't last near long enough (sigh), or any other time of the year come to think of it, my kids know the beer is in the fridge, when it is, for us I suppose it was the way we approached these things, and they think just the SMELL is gross, or it might not be appealing, but we always said there has to be some rewards for growing up, but I've also seen kids grow up in very strict homes where drinking and such have been hidden, and they go WILD once they reach drinking age.  Who really knows the answer anyway ?

I think though it comes down to we can only CONTROL ourselves and our own actions, and when the chips come down (no pun intended) we are ultimitly responsible for our own actions, choose the action, choose the consequences.

 
December 4, 2006, 8:27 pm CST

yeah and thats good advice take it from me as well

Quote From: hollyandmike

   First of all you must not know that a kiddie cocktail is not an alcholic drink. Haven't you ever heard of a shirley Temple? The concern for the parents of this segment  is that immulating adult behavior could be sending the wrong message. The show hasn't even aired so how can you comment? Watch it tomorrow get the full story then you can judge .
when i make comments before seeing the shows, i seem to end up really putting my foot in my mouth  hahahahahah, ive learned to wait and see what happens, thank god i keep clean feet hahahahah, good day to all i do wish,
 
December 4, 2006, 8:37 pm CST

12/05 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: hollyandmike

   First of all you must not know that a kiddie cocktail is not an alcholic drink. Haven't you ever heard of a shirley Temple? The concern for the parents of this segment  is that immulating adult behavior could be sending the wrong message. The show hasn't even aired so how can you comment? Watch it tomorrow get the full story then you can judge .
Geeze....be nice for crying out loud!
 
December 5, 2006, 7:11 am CST

12/05 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Quote From: ceildh1

Having worked in a convinience store, I have seen GAMBLERS, now the machines aren't in the stores in my area (in th bars, even better huh?), but LOTTO TICKETS and SCRATCH TICKETS can be just as bad.

I have seen people drop hundreds in one evening just on lotto and scratch tickets, and do you think they are making their money back, not even close.

I have seen PARENTS buy these things for their kids, telling them its just for fun, can't sell them to the kids, but there's really nothing that can be done if the parent is buying them, I wonder where they get the money, until one evening a man came in and BEGGED us not to sell any more to his wife, they were going into bankruptcy, you see she was going to the local bar as well.

Have I played the machines, sure I have, but having ADD has kept me from becoming addicted, I simply can't sit still that long, but I know if I let him, my husband could, that's why we avoid the bars and casinos, thank goodness he knows that about himself.

But I told him LONG ago, that would NOT be acceptable, and I say what I mean and mean what I say, I tend to be very blunt and up front about things like that, he respects that, thank goodness!

As for drinking, I have never hidden the fact that I like a cold beer in July, here in Canada, deck season dosen't last near long enough (sigh), or any other time of the year come to think of it, my kids know the beer is in the fridge, when it is, for us I suppose it was the way we approached these things, and they think just the SMELL is gross, or it might not be appealing, but we always said there has to be some rewards for growing up, but I've also seen kids grow up in very strict homes where drinking and such have been hidden, and they go WILD once they reach drinking age.  Who really knows the answer anyway ?

I think though it comes down to we can only CONTROL ourselves and our own actions, and when the chips come down (no pun intended) we are ultimitly responsible for our own actions, choose the action, choose the consequences.

Whether Drinking Gambeling or drugs I think it is all bad and especially if it all goes back to different generations of families (ex. parents, grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) because then the children that are born into that lifestyle will see that it is all ok to do and won't see any reason to change their ways just because mom and dad say so. Also if the parents don't think that they have a Gambeling,or drinking problem and continue to live in denial then the children will also. I don't care what the drink once an alcoholic always an alcoholic.

I have a uncle that is an alcoholic and chain smoker and no matter who tells him he still continues with his bad habits. I chose a long time ago when I saw him headed down this road that I wasn't going to be like him and have remained so.

 

These children need to be in rehab but unless they are underage no one can force them to go and even then they won't stay if they don't want to be there or their parents or any other legal guardian aren't there to keep watch over them. 

It is a rebellious thing that kids do to fit in with "the in crowd" no matter who gets hurt they like to live life on the edge or dangerously because to them it is fun and they don't want to hear anything about how it is wrong from their family or anyone close to their parents ages. If anything thay want to hear it from someone close to their own age because they will be more likely to listen to them maybe  they won't take what is said to heart right away but when reality finally hits they will realize the error of their ways and look for someone to help them or admit themselves to rehab.

 
December 5, 2006, 7:32 am CST

Today's show

While at work I received a phone call about todays show.  A lady left her spouse after 5 years because of his drinking.  How well can I relate to this story.  I just did the same thing this past Saturday morning.  A man I had devoted myself to for the past five years truly showed me just how much he loved and cared for me, my girls and his boys.  He got drunk drove around lost for over 2 hours on a friends truck with the friend passed out in the drivers seat and when he gets home he turns on me and his boys.  He pushes on them and then begins screaming about how I don't appreciate him, which is far from the truth as for my birthday just earlier that day he had cleaned half of our house and I praised him and thanked him and made a huge deal out of it because I did appreciate it more than anyone could realize.  Needless to say he began pushing his finger against my forehead and my face and then he punched the refridgerator which was beside of my head and called me a few choice words.  I told him to back off and not to touch me again.  I also told him to go pass out.  He woke up the next morning telling me that he was just joking and didn't mean it.  Well sorry, but you have to go.  I packed his clothes for him and sent him on his way.  Only after I did did I find out that my 13 year old daughter was standing at her bedroom door with a softball bat in her hand.  His son was standing behind the christmas tree watching.  This is not what kids should have to see and I refuse to be treated this way any more.  I have always been strong and independant it's time to find that in my life again.  I only wish I could have seen the show this morning.  But now the healing begins for all of us....
 
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