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Topic : 06/19 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin

Number of Replies: 191
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Created on : Friday, December 01, 2006, 03:21:00 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 12/05/06) Dr. Phil and Robin answer viewer questions! Melissa wrote in because her boyfriend, Destin, believes gambling is his right because he’s the man of the house. But Destin’s hobby caused them to lose their home, and Melissa fears that their son will grow up without basic necessities. Robin shares her own personal experience with a father who had a gambling problem and offers hope for this family’s future. Then, meet a couple at odds over whether giving their children “kiddie cocktails” will promote underage drinking and glorify alcoholic behavior. Plus, a young woman who thinks affection is “gross,” a woman who needs more romance, and a special surprise for an inspirational woman devoted to changing the lives of young burn victims. Join the discussion!

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December 5, 2006, 2:13 pm CST

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING BUT WHAT DO I DO?

Quote From: breezyl

 I'm so sorry for your situation. YOU haven't done anything wrong. Your husband sounds like he has some serious issues, including the addiction. You need to protect yourself and your children (if you have children).

You'll be in my thoughts!

I AM STILL ASKING THE QUESTION OVER AND OVER

WHAT DO I DO TO PROTECT MYSELF?

WHAT CAN I DO?

WHERE DO I GO?

NO I HAVE ALL MY CHILDREN RAISED. THEY LIVE ELSWHERE AND NO I CAN NOT GO TO THEM FOR HELP.

WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO?

I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE I AM SO TIRED BEING QUIET ABOUT THIS,

AND TODAY I WAS TOLD TO GET OUT!

WHAT DO I DO?

NO MONEY

NO PLAN

NO IDEAS

NO JOB

NO FRIENDS

I AM AT ALOSS.

PLEASE I KEEP BEGGING FOR HELP AND IDEAS IS THERE ANYONE THAT HAS BEEN IN THIS

MESS BEFORE OR AM I ALONE ON THAT TOO,

DOTTYOFOZ

 
December 5, 2006, 2:15 pm CST

I totally relate.

Quote From: vevila

  I'd like to understand more about how this woman feels.  I have very severe PTSD after many years of abuse, and while I do hope the 'gross feeling' eventually subsides, there is no way on this earth that I can even think about being intimate with a man at this time in my life.
 I was not sure what my anxiety with guys was all about until today's show, but knew it came from my lack of familiarity with closeness and affection, especially with male role models as you said Dr Phil.

After hearing you refer to it as 'anticipatory anxiety', I was thrilled to have something to go on in search of more info.

I haven't found very much, as of yet, related specifically to anticipatory anxiety to intimacy, however.

I know you suggested a course of short-term professional  help to the young woman on the show. I might be interested in pursuing that as well. In terms of something self-help, any particular titles/activities that you would suggest to start with?
 
December 5, 2006, 2:21 pm CST

Kiddie Cocktails???

This is probably the weirdest thing that I've ever heard. I drank Shirley Temple's as a kid *gasp* at the local tavern with my grandfather. And here I am 25 with 2 children and one on the way and when we go somewhere that has a bar in the restaraunt I order my kids Shirley Temples too. It almost seems like a tradition. And here's the kicker. Drinking "kiddie cocktails" didnt make me an alcoholic. In fact I don't drink at all.
 
December 5, 2006, 2:33 pm CST

No, I've never been there, Dottie

Quote From: dottyofoz

I AM STILL ASKING THE QUESTION OVER AND OVER

WHAT DO I DO TO PROTECT MYSELF?

WHAT CAN I DO?

WHERE DO I GO?

NO I HAVE ALL MY CHILDREN RAISED. THEY LIVE ELSWHERE AND NO I CAN NOT GO TO THEM FOR HELP.

WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO?

I REALLY NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE I AM SO TIRED BEING QUIET ABOUT THIS,

AND TODAY I WAS TOLD TO GET OUT!

WHAT DO I DO?

NO MONEY

NO PLAN

NO IDEAS

NO JOB

NO FRIENDS

I AM AT ALOSS.

PLEASE I KEEP BEGGING FOR HELP AND IDEAS IS THERE ANYONE THAT HAS BEEN IN THIS

MESS BEFORE OR AM I ALONE ON THAT TOO,

DOTTYOFOZ

 I just don't know where you can turn.

If he's being abusive (beyond verbally) and you're in fear, go to the police. Is your husband rational enough to discuss plans? If so, there may be a possibility that he'll help you leave. Or you can try contacting the shelters locally. They may be able to help you get on your feet.

If you can, confide in your children. I'm sure they don't want you to come to any harm, emotionally or physically. It would break my heart if my mother was in your situation and i'd feel even more devastated if she didn't tell me so that I could help.
 
December 5, 2006, 2:35 pm CST

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH JAY!!!

 

     My father never drinks. I grew up asking him why he didn't drink and he always answered with "It just doesn't taste good to me". Sure enough I never drank in high school or college. The first time I ever got drunk was when I was 28. That was the last time too. The ironic thing is that I am a bartender by trade and my job is to get other people to drink! I still don't drink and I really think it was because I grew up watching my dad NOT DRINK.

 
December 5, 2006, 2:58 pm CST

Losing it

I feel like I am losing it I have been married for 8 years and have tried everything to express to my spouse what I need in our relationship and he totally ignores me. His way of showing affection is to have relations with me and I cannot handle this!!!! I have attempted to leave him but have no where to go. I have been in a major depression and now have really bad social phobia. I admit my life growing up was far from "perfect" but I do not want to carry it in to my future. Recently my husband told me he wants to have another kid......This raises my eye brow because he didnt want the first child we had.....I think the reason why he wants another kid is to have relations with me again and to keep me busy after the child is born. He has never made any attempt to show any kind of affection!!! When talking he says its because he cant and the more I ask the harder it is. I feel like I am losing my mind over this becuse I used to be soooooo positive and now turning just as negative as he is and I feel like I am about to lose it. I can name several things that he has done to show me he dont love me but cannot name one thing that he has done to show me any kind of affection. Please Help!!!!!
 
December 5, 2006, 3:26 pm CST

dotty what you can do is go to the police where you live

Quote From: dottyofoz

DR PHIL AND ROBIN,

i REALLY WANT YOU TO HELP ME FIND A WAY OF SURVIVING THIS PROBLEM I AM IN.

i AM TRYING HARD TO GET OUT OF THIS DOOR WAY IN ONE PIECE.

WHAT ARE YOUR SUGGESTIONS ON GETTING OUT OF A ABUSIVE SITIUATION.

WHAT ARE THE STEPS?

hOW DO i GET ON MY FEET?

wHERE DO i GO?

IS THERE A WAY?

IS THERE HOPE?

i NEED THE ADVICE AND HELP now !!!!!!

 

I AM SO TIRED AND I AM SO SCARED AND LOST.

PLEASE

HELP ME,

DOTTY OF OZ.

they in fact do have safe houses set up for women in just your situation,and while your staying there you will be set up with all the assistance you need, you will even be helped to relocate to another city if this is what has to be done to keep you safe,DONT WAITE GO TO THE POLICE NOW!!!! THEY ARE THERE TO HELP YOU,
 
December 5, 2006, 3:35 pm CST

I THINK YOUR CORRECT

Quote From: soon2b3

This is probably the weirdest thing that I've ever heard. I drank Shirley Temple's as a kid *gasp* at the local tavern with my grandfather. And here I am 25 with 2 children and one on the way and when we go somewhere that has a bar in the restaraunt I order my kids Shirley Temples too. It almost seems like a tradition. And here's the kicker. Drinking "kiddie cocktails" didnt make me an alcoholic. In fact I don't drink at all.
kiddie cocktails dont promote drinking the real thing, only a drinking parent does that! it is a very good way to teach a child that they can infact have a good timewith friends who might drink with out having to intake the booze as well, i for one can never drink but i do have a few friends whom have never had a problem with it, and i dont wish to not be friends with them or ask them not to drink around me at parties i heve the kiddie cocktails, and there really goodand the best part is i dont miss any of the fun i thought i had to get drunk to have,
 
December 5, 2006, 4:01 pm CST

The Gambler

 Dr Phil and Robin,      I was married to a jerk almost as bad as Destin.  I bailed.   I knew he gambled when I married him, But thought it was a controlled issue.  I did know he was considered an alcholic.  He went on the wagon after a DUI before we married.   I soon realized what a HUGE mistake I had made.   My pride got in my way and i stayed with him for six yrs.  Every birthday(except his daughter and mine our days were 1 day apart)  he preferred to spend with his poker buddies.    If he won I never knew about it and if he lost I would hear he broke even.   Fortunately, i never let him handle the household expenses and maintained separate bank accounts for a long time.  finally I could see the light and left him  I am still fighting for a property settlement 7 yrs later.   Periodically I check to be sure he has not tried to get a 2nd mortgage on the house.  This relationship has been a nightmare years later.  Ladies if you have suspicitions.  FOLLOW THEM  they are probably correct.  They don't call it women's intuition for nothing.  Mine bet the ponies, ball games almost anything.  Save yourselves!!!!!!
 
December 5, 2006, 4:01 pm CST

Ladies, romance, guys and...

       While Dr. Phil's show was on, I heard him TELL you ladies for the "God knows how many time" TELL your man what you want.

Guys, If you don't say anything, we "aint gonna know. We(men) don't read minds.
 
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