Topic : 12/06 Teacher Troubles

This is in response to the assistant principal, Anna, and her ordeal.  First, I would like to say how sorry I am for her.  MySpace is a terrible site, and I have yet to see anything good come from it.  While I can empathize with her about her fears and embarrassment, I have to say that, having two teenagers myself, it is incredibly difficult to constantly monitor your kids.  When they were younger, absolutely, but part of a child growing older also involves parents letting go and letting kids make decisions for themselves.  We can guide them and try to instill values, but we cannot control their every move.  They have access to the internet at friends' houses, libraries, aunts and uncles, etc.  It is impossible to watch their every move, and frankly, to do so would be a hinderance to their growth as an independent adult.  Children also have other influences on them when they become adolescents/teens.  Not only do the parents and their values influence their kids, but their friends, and even the parents of friends, have an influence.  Kids are faced with so much pressure to fit in and be "popular" that it sometimes makes even the best kids make poor choices (that need appropriate consequences) - again, part of growing and learning.  I am NOT saying this is an excuse, but I don't think they should have a felony on their permanent records when there may be other alternatives.  I WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree that the parents should have apologized.  If it had been my children, not only would my husband and I made an appointment to sit down with the victim, but our teenager(s) would have to be there to apologize and ask what they can do to make restitution,and then they would have punishments at home also.  I most definitely would not take it lightly.  I can't believe that the school is not stepping in to punish those boys more seriously.  If the parent's have not taught their kids these kind of values, or if they have but the boy's still made the bad choice, the school should be there to reinforce good behavior and to punish bad behavior as well.   As to Anna's fear of forever being in danger, once the website is disabled, no one will have access to that information any longer, and as time passes and nothing happens I hope she will feel safe.  I can't imagine that any of those weirdos that would act on her information would keep it for later reference without acting on it right away.  Not impossible, but it just doesn't seem likely at all.  This is a terrible situation, and obviously highly emotionally charged.  Objectively speaking, I see points from both sides, as anything like this involving kids is messy and educators have huge responsibilities.  I hope the best for them all. 

I think that if they are going to fire one teacher for being in a pornographic movie 11 years ago, then they need to look into EVERY teacher in this country's background and fire all of the teacher's who have made bad decisions in their youth! And why aren't they asking the kids? She said the kids knew about her past in December but the school didn't take action until April. So she was teaching them for 4 months even after the kids knew! And I bet she STILL got a great review! The past molds you into who you are today. I think her past has made her a better person, and a better role model. When I was in high school just a few years ago, I had several teachers who had been through things in their past and made decisions they regret but it made them stronger and more relatable for us kids. We learn more from a teacher we can relate to because we see them as real people and not these "people who are higher and bigger than us" Talk to the kids! They are the only ones directly affected by this. And i'm sure you'll find out that the past doesn't matter!

As for the teacher who was hurt by those 2 boys creating the myspace page. She should take them for everything they've got. I think she should sue the boys and make them pay, not the parents. But yes, the parents also need to be held accountable because they're obviously doing something wrong if their children are willing to ruin someone! Teenagers are mean, and yeah their reason isnt fully developed but if their parents were doing their jobs then they would know right from wrong. And they would've known that there are consequences to every action. Those boys should be sued AND be punished inside the school system. They should have to live with their decision forever, just as the Assistant Principal will have to, and her family will as well. Make them pay!

I am currently in my third year of college, getting ready to become a chemistry teacher. In my past I had my children in high school. My son was born on my last day of my sophmore year and my daughter was born a month before my senior year was over. Because this is a bad influence on high school students, I was a teen mom so why cant they be, will I get this harrasment that she is getting for something in her past? I think that she has every right to teach, she went to school (and paid for it), passed her boards and is doing something great with her life! Why can't these things be considered the past and that is just what it is THE PAST!  

I AM OUTRAGED.

You are so wrong about the assistant principal.  She should be allowed to defend herself. The school system does not defend our teachers in any way.  I have friends and family who teach or have taught in our school systems and teachers today are sometimes in fear for their life.   Dr. Phil why don't you use your considerable influence and get the school system to protect our teachers?? If they are protected then I would agree that they should not sue the students.   Please reconsider your advice. Thanks for listening.

I have never voiced an opinion on line before. I am an ultra conservative, what most people would term a " very religious" person. With this in mind, I must state that I would much rather have Ternika teach my three teenage daughters than have Anna as their assistant principle.

Ternika atleast overcame her hardships and struggles and rose above the terrible "pit" her life was in. Even if she made the mistake of turning back to it. We mothers do some desperate things for our children. But Anna has displayed an unforgiving and unyielding attitude that makes life very difficult. Yes the boys did wrong and should "pay" the consequences of their actions. I feel the "damages" should be paid by the boys not their parents and should be not more than the children can earn and pay on their own. I hope Anna does not "reap what she has sown" with her own children. You find that you can only raise them not control them. Children will all make mistakes,some worse than others, in that the mistakes they make may cause pain and grief to others.

Forgiveness and the ability to move on with life will be their greatest lesson, although with both of these attributes there is still payment of consequences.

I don't know how kids these days can deal with all they have thrown at them, but I sincerely believe that parents CAN mold their children from day 1 so that they are better prepared to deal with the world's evil and temptations and follow the right path to success and hope for their future.  When my girls were little, when they stepped out of line (ie: talking back or hitting their sibling) I would stop it RIGHT THEN AND THERE.  That behavior was squashed like a bug and they learned to know what was acceptible behavior and what was not.  All it took was for my husband and I to BE authority to them and speak to them in a tone that got their attention. 

Now that they are teens, they might step slightly over that line, but I pay attention and either I give them a consequence or they quickly back off knowing from experience that they need to find another way to express themselves or work out a problem or temptation.  Neither of them would ever dream of placing a myspace blog that would hurt another person.  They wouldn't do it because (a) if they were caught, they'd be in BIG trouble, and (b) because they have learned throughout childhood to protect and value others' feelings.

We have kept up communication so that, even if their problem is me, they know we can talk about them by putting all the cards on the table and showing what they feel is unfair and giving suggestions of how to change things.  They dont' always get their way, but they have the abililty to debate politely and be troubleshooters.  They are teens, learning to stand on their own, but I haven't stopped communicating, keeping track of their activities and whereabouts, and praising them when I "catch them being good".  Slowly Mom lets go as they become more independent.  My oldest has a job and drives there as well as to school.  My youngest has after school activites that I let her participate in.  I'm always there to catch them, but they are starting to walk that tightrope of life on their own and I truly believe they will continue to step out independently until they are fully there and they will be responsible and contributing adults.

I'm not saying all this to toot my own horn, but rather hoping that some new parent out there might see that this way works and do it themsef.  I sure wish every parent would be diligent, strong and courageous in thier parenting, or seek help if they need it.