Quote From: ceildh1I truly hope Doctor Phil can help this mother and son.
Six hours to do homework, WOW, that's rough, but what we have to sit back and think is, are there other issues here.
Sorry for being " CRITICAL" here, but you know what, someone standing over my shoulder barking like a drill sargent, and nitpicking EVERYTHING I do, or calling me things like USELESS or LAZY, isn't really going to inspire me to do anything for you either, as an adult I'd tell you to "go to hell", but a kid especially your own likely won't.
Mom needs to relax, and investigate the matter further. I know personally many parents who are quick to label their child, and for some reason think its a failure on their part if there is a problem, Get over it, if there is a problem and you will not acknowledge it, or get your child the appropriate help with it, then YOU are setting him or her up for a lifetime of frustration and feeling stupid.
I have a son with Dyslexia and ADHD, I'm not ashamed of him or his problems, and by working with his teachers, and doctors, we have come up with a plan for his SUCCESS. He knows if he dosen't do the work, he will fail like everyone else, but if he makes an HONEST effort on his notes and reports ( Spellcheck and Grammer check are the BEST inventions EVER), spelling can be forgiven, and his teachers allow him time to practice BEFORE having to read orally.
Homework (sigh) is yes a nightmare sometimes, but we do not force it as soon as the kids get home. We give them at least an hour to unwind first, and after sitting in class all day, my son could no more sit any longer than I could go Bungee Jumping. Again, his teachers and I came up with extended time limits for him, and EVERYTHING being done on the computer, if you ever seen his handwriting you'd know why.
A Learning Difference does NOT make a child stupid or Lazy, and it is one of the BIGGEST reasons people shouldn't be quick to critisize people on Message Boards for their spelling and Grammer mistakes, you don't know what these people have to go through to write these messages.
If you find yourself among those who don't have the patience for homework, and not all of us do, then FIND someone else to help them. Peers, grandparents, your spouse if applicable, you will ruin your relationship with your child if you keep going this way. You ARE NOT admitting failure, you are admitting the truth you don't have the patience, GET HELP !!!!!
I do homework here because my husband is also dyslexic and so reports and things drive him NUTS as well, but if they have to build a model or experiment, he's there with bells on, but we admit we have DIFFERENCES.
I truly HATE IT when people yell and get onto their kids BEFORE finding out if there might be a problem, you might be holding back a brilliant mind, your C student might actually be an A student, if instead of acting like a drill sargent, you actually find out if something is wrong, and by the way, the nitpicking, well why should the child even TRY, if what could be his best isn't good enough ?
I cant agree with you more about this particular mother on the show.
I have a 11 year old daughter and she has a hard time learning how to do word math problems and other subjects as well. She has to go to another teacher (during school) like a tutoring class for her. The school provides this free of charge to kids having trouble in certain areas of curiculum. And the teaching happens during school hours (Ex.: instead of having her home room teacher for reading, math, or english, she goes to another teacher that explains it in terms she can understand). My daughter ISNT dumb, or has ADHD or anything of the like, she just has a time understanding certain things and needs help(especially with certain money problems). She is a A & B student, and like many of us when we were in school, has trouble in certain subjects( mine was math, I HATED IT). I dont hound her like a drill sergant saying "That is WRONG change it", she has to learn certain things by her mistakes. But by calling the child names like "lazy" and the like ISNT going to help them at all and agree that is mental cruelity as well. That will have the child thinking he/she IS worthless and the child needs to learn just as we did when we were in school. Some children catch on more quickly then others, some needs a bit extra help.
The way we agree on the homework after school is this:
She comes home from school, she does her homework, gets the mail and other chores she has to do, then her "fun" time begins(like going on the internet, playing her video games and such). Most of the time she only has reading and does that on the bus(its a good 30-45 min. bus ride with the route her bus driver takes even though its ONLY in town) but there has been many of times where she has ALOT of homework and I ALWAYS let her have a break. Even if its when we eat or when she gets frustrated cause she doesnt understand a particular problem/subject. I always keep scrap paper on hand for math problems that should arise and explain it the best way I can to her (I let her write it out and such), then explain step by step how to do the problem. Usually that works. Or she will do it they way her teacher taught her how( sometimes I even have trouble understanding certain ones and she explains it to me on how to do it). About her report cards, she has occasionally had C's (which she does try her best at to bring them up and most of the time she has) I also told her D's she'll have to try harder and study more, F's (which I havent even seen one yet) but if the case should arise, she will have to buckle down. I dont yell at my child and always help her with her homework but i do know she has to make certain mistakes in order to learn. I offer my help on her homework sometimes she even tells me"No thanks mom I know how to do it" and I let her go, but she KNOWS help is here when needed. I dont yell at her (and I have NO intention either) she is learning new things just like when we were in school when the subject we were learning was new to us.
The mother on the show should wake up and realize her own problem instead calling her own flesh and blood "lazy".
To the poster I have quoted: Congrats on the SUCCESS of ur son. You have found the right help on his way to success. And I wish him luck in the future :)
(Original Air Date: 12/07/06) When it comes to helping kids with school assignments, some parents just don’t make the grade. Angela says her 12-year-old son, Masen, takes up to six hours to finish his homework, and she says she can’t stop nitpicking. Her mother, Gayle, says Angela acts like a drill sergeant, and has called Masen "lazy and useless." What’s behind Angela’s frustration? Then, tempers rise as Angela feels her parenting skills are being criticized. Find out the conversation Dr. Phil has with her during the break. Plus, Dr. Phil gives Angela a test of his own, and Dr. Frank Lawlis, author of The IQ Answer, weighs in. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.
,i am one parent that could never fill your shoes,
