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Topic : 03/23 Homework Hell

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Created on : Friday, December 01, 2006, 03:23:49 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 12/07/06) When it comes to helping kids with school assignments, some parents just don’t make the grade. Angela says her 12-year-old son, Masen, takes up to six hours to finish his homework, and she says she can’t stop nitpicking. Her mother, Gayle, says Angela acts like a drill sergeant, and has called Masen "lazy and useless." What’s behind Angela’s frustration? Then, tempers rise as Angela feels her parenting skills are being criticized. Find out the conversation Dr. Phil has with her during the break. Plus, Dr. Phil gives Angela a test of his own, and Dr. Frank Lawlis, author of The IQ Answer, weighs in. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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December 6, 2006, 2:18 pm CST

conference

Quote From: karengirlz

    

     I agree the amount of homework that is give to totally out of hand!!!  My son comes home every day with tons of it and he is in 3rd grade.  He gets so frustrated because he just spent all day at school and then he ends up coming home to an hour break (to grab a something to eat and then we are right back at it).  It is not that my son is not smart (he is in gifted classes).  He is already on pre-algebra stuff...plus other kinds of math.  He had to drop out of football and other kinds of things he loves because there is just not time.  We don't even go to church on Wednesday nights anymore because of homework.  Our family life has suffered.  But what really chaps me is like when he was in kindergarden....every time me and my husband went to pick him up from school she had them sitting in front of a t.v. watching video's and then she sent all the work they should have done at school for homework.    His second grade teacher was a dream but it seems the third grade teachers are just as lazy as his kidergarden teacher.  Teachers like that should be fired.  My big fear is my son is starting to  hate school and instead of going to college (which is our dream) he will end up not going and making something of his life.     Please someone give me some advice.....I am at the end of my rope.

It sounds like time for a conference between you, the teacher, the principal, and the school counselor.  Express your concerns in a positive way, and ask the teacher for his/her help in resolving this matter.  If your son gets burned out at this young age, you're right, he will hate school.  Perhaps the teacher of the gifted classes should consider letting the kids be eight-year-olds...smart kids still need time just to be kids...and to know that they are NOT better than everybody else...time to spend with the other kids.

 

Perhaps less pressure on the pre-algebra...it won't hurt him to wait a year or two, when he is mature enough emotionally to handle the work load.  Granted, it is a special thing to be so intelligent, but temper your ego, and let him be a kid.

 

My eight year old reads at a 7.5 grade reading level, but he still enjoys the third grade picture books, along with the more difficult books.  He is also way ahead in math, but he is in the regular class, and he enjoys helping his classmates with their math...too much pressure to succeed early will emotionally crush a child...think about it.

 

Again, ask the teacher for help...she/he will be flattered by your asking, and will be much more willing to listen than if you tell her what you told us...negativity breeds negativity.

 

I know first-hand about burn-out.  I went all-out in high school...making straight A's, taking extra classes, excelling in everything including music.  When I graduated from high school, I was so burned out that I never went to college...I am a stay at home mom, by choice and I make sure that my kids have balance in their lives...overload is BAD at any age.  I wish I had gone to college, but I am no way a loser...I have made something of my life.  I still enjoy my music...playing trumpet, guitar, and singing, plus writing songs.

 
December 6, 2006, 2:44 pm CST

standardized testing

Quote From: kcarnes1968

I am  a teacher and a  parent.  I can help my students until the cows come and loose my patience very few times.  When it comes to my own kids, it sometimes takes an hour or 2 to complete a 15 minute task.  Even though I am a teacher and I keep in constant contact with my chidlrens' teachers, my boys still see me as mom and not a teacher and "mom doesn't always know what she's talking about" - or least that how my kids feel sometimes.

I agree 6 hours is too much homework, but concerning what goes on in schools (making comments that we aren't teaching as much as we should and putting the burden on parents at homework time) - contact your legislatures (state and federal) concerning the amount of content that must be taught and then schools are held accountable during testing.  As stated in a book written by Marzano, it would take 22 years (K - grade 21) to cover the 200 standards (in just the basic subjects) and 3,093 benchmarks that are established for teachers to teach our students
 and then endure assessments.

Teachers pour an extensive amount of time and energy into covering every bit of content possible.  As a parent it is my responsibility to support my child's learning through reinforcment and review activities (which is what homework should be - it SHOULD NOT be new learning).

The WASL has hijacked the entire Washington State school curriculum.  The teachers now have to teach to the test, abandoning the old ways that have worked for years and years.  There is no more art, music, and PE is once a week!!  The state is creating a generation of stressed-out kids who won't know what to do with their free time, besides computer games!!

 

It is a graduation requirement that 10th grade students pass all portions of the WASL...almost half of the kids who took it last year DID NOT pass the test, so not only will we have stressed out kids, we will have kids who can't get higher education because they won't have a high school diploma, in spite of passing their classes!!

 

I agree that kids do need to know how to read and write and  do math in order to function in life, but what is life after WASL??  The kids are being prepared for the WASL from kindergarten on up.  My third grader has to take a math WASL this year, and, although he is gifted in math and scored 100% on the practice test, he is really stressed-out about THE TEST!!

 

I have written the legislators...I think I will contact Tim Eiman...he has written a lot of bills that have appeared on the ballot (I didn't vote for all of them, but he's good).  Maybe he can get a bill on the ballot to abolish the WASL.

 

School funding should be based on the income level of the community...the less the income, the more money the school gets from federal and state resources.  The reason for this is that if the income is less, the local schools receive less money from local sales and property taxes, becasue the people don't have enough money to buy a lot of things.  School funding should NOT be based on the kids scoring well on a stupid test!!

 
December 6, 2006, 8:41 pm CST

12/07 Homework Hell

if the howework is to harh for the kids then i think they need to be in another class that they can do the right homework
 
December 6, 2006, 10:45 pm CST

Thank you.

Quote From: ceildh1

Thank You, and by the way, I HATED math as well, and had to be toutered for it too.  You have a kindred spirit here, and the best to you and your daughter.

And to you and your son as well :)

 
December 6, 2006, 11:16 pm CST

Forgot to mention one more thing..

Quote From: ceildh1

Thank You, and by the way, I HATED math as well, and had to be toutered for it too.  You have a kindred spirit here, and the best to you and your daughter.

We also have confrences (all teachers involved, me and principle, asst. principle) every 2 months to discuss the progress of my daughter's achievements as well as the areas she needs help in still . So far she is progressing well, but still having a time in math. But we are still working together to make it more understandable for her(Even I didnt have this kind of help in school and very GLAD she has the help they provide).  She even teaches me some math skills!! Surprising, YOU BET IT IS!! At one point she has even told me "Mom you know it all, ALL moms do!! That is when she gets a shock of her life is that she taught mommy something new in math! The look on her face is priceless when she teaches ME!! HER OWN MOM, a new math trick! I also remind her mommies makes mistakes too and CAN learn math even at the ripe age of 33. One day your son will shock you like that( and the look on his face will be more then money can buy, if he already hasnt, be patient he will and you will be in utter AMAZEMENT!)  Thought you could use a bit of smiling today as well as others on here:)

 
December 7, 2006, 5:46 am CST

12/07 Homework Hell

Quote From: boobear328

We also have confrences (all teachers involved, me and principle, asst. principle) every 2 months to discuss the progress of my daughter's achievements as well as the areas she needs help in still . So far she is progressing well, but still having a time in math. But we are still working together to make it more understandable for her(Even I didnt have this kind of help in school and very GLAD she has the help they provide).  She even teaches me some math skills!! Surprising, YOU BET IT IS!! At one point she has even told me "Mom you know it all, ALL moms do!! That is when she gets a shock of her life is that she taught mommy something new in math! The look on her face is priceless when she teaches ME!! HER OWN MOM, a new math trick! I also remind her mommies makes mistakes too and CAN learn math even at the ripe age of 33. One day your son will shock you like that( and the look on his face will be more then money can buy, if he already hasnt, be patient he will and you will be in utter AMAZEMENT!)  Thought you could use a bit of smiling today as well as others on here:)

he amazed me just last night, he was reading a post over my shoulder and informed me of my SPELLING mistakes, I thought that was pretty cool, especially because these words were more than five letters long ( in grade nine he was tested at a fifth grade spelling level, well that was just in September, so the progress has been wonderful).

We have the conferences with ALL his teachers, and he is getting involved as well, he's fourteen now and we thought it would be good to get his imput on this stuff.

You sound like a very positive person, and THAT goes a long way in helping your child, along with patience and we all know a sense of HUMOR, so thanks for the smile and I send one to you.

 
December 7, 2006, 6:50 am CST

A Quarter In My Slot

Quote From: mustbecrazy

The WASL has hijacked the entire Washington State school curriculum.  The teachers now have to teach to the test, abandoning the old ways that have worked for years and years.  There is no more art, music, and PE is once a week!!  The state is creating a generation of stressed-out kids who won't know what to do with their free time, besides computer games!!

 

It is a graduation requirement that 10th grade students pass all portions of the WASL...almost half of the kids who took it last year DID NOT pass the test, so not only will we have stressed out kids, we will have kids who can't get higher education because they won't have a high school diploma, in spite of passing their classes!!

 

I agree that kids do need to know how to read and write and  do math in order to function in life, but what is life after WASL??  The kids are being prepared for the WASL from kindergarten on up.  My third grader has to take a math WASL this year, and, although he is gifted in math and scored 100% on the practice test, he is really stressed-out about THE TEST!!

 

I have written the legislators...I think I will contact Tim Eiman...he has written a lot of bills that have appeared on the ballot (I didn't vote for all of them, but he's good).  Maybe he can get a bill on the ballot to abolish the WASL.

 

School funding should be based on the income level of the community...the less the income, the more money the school gets from federal and state resources.  The reason for this is that if the income is less, the local schools receive less money from local sales and property taxes, becasue the people don't have enough money to buy a lot of things.  School funding should NOT be based on the kids scoring well on a stupid test!!

You have the WASL, we have the FCAT, South Carolina has the PACT, ad infinitum...

Alas, we are now seeing the unintended consequences of the "school accountability reform" movement that blossomed in the late 1990s or so (thanks in large part to 2 brothers who were governors at that time, but I'll leave the political commentary at that). THE TEST has "hijacked the...curriculum" to beyond ridiculous (I have often referred to our curriculum as a "Kaplan course" for Florida's FCAT). I mean, test prep starting in kindergarten/first grade!!???

 

We may even have it a little more stringent than many: In addition to high-schoolers needing to pass their FCATs (some states had exit exams even before this), third graders here have to get a minimum score on the reading FCAT, or they are not promoted. They mean business, too; one of my daughter's friends was held back for failing it. Granted, the "miminum" is one grade level below the norm, so if a child can't do that much by mid-third grade, perhaps they really do need major remediation. Nevertheless, it makes for tremendous pressure on teachers to maintain/raise test scores from year to year to keep that all-important state rating.

 

mustbecrazy, I think both you & I have touched on similar topics (homework, the bane of standardized tests) on the "School Issues" board at this site?

 

 
December 7, 2006, 6:50 am CST

Crazy Mom

I have been watching the show and i just had to comment.  I believe she is way out of line and she is only concerned about making herself look better on tv.  She kept saying "i'm always conscious"....    NO you aren't always conscious of what you say, otherwise you wouldn't be on the DR. Phil show.  She kept trying to be the "victim" throughout the whole situation.  She really needs to start thinking of what she's doing to her son instead of how she was "portrayed" on the show.   this mom really needs some help.  ONE more thing, does anyone know exactly how much the dr phil and robin ups suits went for on ebay?
 
December 7, 2006, 7:07 am CST

i do not need to wait to tell you about this first guest dr phil

wowowowowowowowow what a control freak she beeeeeeee, and i see a school drop out in her sons future if she don't stop with her actions !!!!!!! maybe she needs to do what i did, i talked to all my kids teachers, and let them all know i only have a 7th grade education, and let me tell you it helps to talk to the teachers, they give my child time in class for the work as to where they can help him, god bless them for that,teachers do care, but we must let them know what is going on in our lives ,after all they are only teachers, not mind readers,and i can tell you my child isdoing great in school, he was ready to quit till i talked to his teachers, i wasnt able to help him with his work he already knew more about it than i knew,
 
December 7, 2006, 7:32 am CST

You need to GET REAL

I don't for one instance BELIEVE that you have NEVER put your son down.

I am the mother of a disabled child. I get very frustrated at times. As much as I want to be a wonderful, patient, loving, caring, compassionate mother, I don't always do that. I feel that I MAY need some help in this area with my disabled child. She needs constant attention and constant teaching and I don't always want to do that.

You need to get real. You will never be able to change until you acknowlegde that you have things that need to be changed. Your defense with this on the show only made me believe more that you are doing things that you want no one to know.

You don't defend things and don't need defending.

 
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