Topic : 12/08 Out-of-Control Husbands

This might be late, and you may not see it but....

YOU ARE RIGHT TO LEAVE!!!!!

I have always told my daughter especially, just because you might share DNA or at the very least a last name DOES NOT give ANYONE the RIGHT to treat you like something on the bottom of their shoe.

Children would rather come from a broken home than live in one, to quote the Good Doc, and what kind of example would you be setting for daughters ( who will learn that they HAVE to take this crap from some MAN) , or sons ( who grow up thinking it is their RIGHT as men to treaqt their spouses or girlfriends like dirt) if you were to stay in this?

I commend you for your strength and character for standing up for yourself and standing your ground, and your children in the long run will be better off for it.

  Danny is so argumentative and seems proud to have become rich by acting this way. He has been rewarded by this bad behavior. And his wife seems to thrive on telling the public. So I wonder if this is their way to keep themselves in the spotlight. Alot of the stuff from todays show was from the other tv show which they were paid greatly for. Clearly, he is proud of himself. Despite the denial of this fact. 

I have been watching the show for both seasons and at first I was shocked to see how far this has gone throughout Danny's life.  I had no idea he had gotten to this level even as I have read about him over the years.  I have heard many judgments and discussions on his behavior and what should and shouldn't be done and I wonder if anyone has ever made that man feel like he was not a bad person.  I constantly hear him say he is bad and I know he really believes that.  He has been rewarded for acting out more than he has been for doing what is right.  So in his experience people either leave and give up cause he is sooo "bad" or they applaud, pay him, or just pull up with a chair and popcorn and watch.  I would like to say to Danny that your behavior DOES NOT define who you are as a person.  We are all born innocent little babies and then our experiences mold us into who we are.  Who he is portrayed to be in these shows are not by accident.  I don't know all that has happened to him in life and I don't need to know every little detail. The result is plainly in our face.  Until he defines who he really is by what he thinks and believes and not what others say he deserves, I don't see how he could ever find peace within his own soul.  I also think you are dead on,  Danny,  about your wife she is the best thing that ever happened to you and may be what saves you from yourself.  So many people that are hurt by others behavior are ready to throw in the towel.  Sometimes I do think separating yourself from people that are under destruction is needed for you and for them.  But throwing these people back into the sea of life as they are is throwing them in the trash in their eyes and does nothing to inspire them to change.  When you are dealing with someone emotionally crippled there is ALWAYS a fine line that you walk with that person.  I just wish you and your family the best.  And I do hope that you find the inner peace that everyone desires.  And society can pass judgments all day long but finding ways to help people that  are so broken and lost is the real issue here.  I guess what frustrates me is that everyone wants to talk about what is right and wrong and few want to be the person to clean a mess they didn't make .  Who is responsible is important, but so is the cleaning process. 

Maggie, YOU GO GIRL!!!   I am so proud of you for taking care of yourself and getting OUT of the relationship with that abuser.  Don't look back, just find a relationship where someone treats you with the respect  that you deserve.  You're beautiful and you don't need to settle for that!

I haven't read any of the other comments yet, but I want to say a couple of things here. First of all, I commend Danny and Gretchen for sticking together and working to make their marriage work. Marriages in general, and marriages in Hollywood in particular, are not known for longevity, so 16 years is a big deal, especially with the things they've had working against them. And God bless Danny for finally reaching the point where he realized that he had to change and get his act together. I've watched the media reports of where he's been and what he's done, and could hardly believe that was the same "Danny Partridge" I'd enjoyed years earlier. Seeing him this morning, I was moved by his sincerity, and I wish him and his family MANY years of happiness.

As for the other woman....thank GOD you got out as soon as you did. I was in your shoes......I saw the signs while we were dating, but I naively presumed things would get better after we were married and committed to each other. Then I got pregnant right after the wedding, and thought a child would make things better. After ten years of dealing with verbal abuse, alcoholism, taking money from the family, and finally physical abuse, I got strong and moved on. Thank God that you have saved yourself and your daughter from those years of pain and anguish.......you deserve so much more than that, and you WILL find it one day. 

     Dear Maggie and Michael

     Michael it's hard to know were to start .  How can I talk to you about love ? I don't think that you know what it is .  I don't think you've ever seen or experienced it .  You have for whatever reasen let anger and resentment grow in your heart for so long that it clowds and controles all of your vision, your life .  It is set on distroying everything around you .  If you have any love for your girl-friend or child you would not want them close to you .  If you have any love for them you wouldn't want anything to bring them harm, even if it's you .  If you can understand that than there is a place in your heart were love lives a place were you can start down the road to find love, hope, peace .  Isn't that what you want for you and your family . 

     Mike you need some help to removing the anger from your life .  You need motivation to help drive you forward .  Let Maggie and your child motivate you .  Again this act alone is another step forward towards love .  Going through this for something or someone other than yourself . 

     Mike I do alot of things to celebrate my love for my wife ( of 30 years ) .  Because I want her to know that I notice what she's does for me and or children .   BUT I feel like I know more about love and that I show her how much I love her the most over the things she never sees, never knows .  The times I feel I got her dead to rights .  I'm angry and it's her fault .  She hert my feelings, she wants to be heard but she didn't listen to me .   Just when I'm going to let her have it .  I look at my anger .  The anger that I'm about to assault HER with .  And    then    I    look     at     MY    anger    i'm   about     to    ASSAULT       "  HER  "   with .   HER     HER   HER     the one person that loves me above all others .   The mother of our kids .   HER the one person that i love above all others .  The one that i share my hopes, joys, and sorrows with.  i remember that i said that i would love her at all times and through all things .  i remember what i tell my son's what LOVE IS .  Love is patient , and kind ,  not provoked , and does not account wrongs .  I have never felt that I have loved my wife more then when I put MY anger aside .  We may talk about it .

      Own you anger .  You made a choice and it's called me .  It only considers me how I feel,  how things affect me ,  what me this or that me me me .  There are many other choices some are called You ,  Us ,  and Family .   Mike get some help to learn about these other choices .

                                                                                        I Pray That God Will Guide You

                                                                                                          Grandpa Jim