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Topic : 12/08 Out-of-Control Husbands

Number of Replies: 245
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Created on : Friday, December 01, 2006, 03:25:09 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
A marriage vow says, “’Til death do us part.” But what if your husband’s behavior is so outrageous, you fear he’ll end up in an early grave? Dr. Phil’s first guest, Danny Bonaduce, was a child star on the ’70s hit show The Partridge Family, but now he’s infamous for his bad behavior. Danny has been arrested for drug possession, has been in rehab three times and has cheated on his wife, Gretchen. The couple showcases their struggle with his addictions on the VH1 show Breaking Bonaduce. Danny says he’s finally sober, but Gretchen says she can’t stop being suspicious of his every move. Is it too soon for her to trust him? Then, Maggie says she can’t deal with her fiancé, Michael’s, chaotic behavior. Michael admits that he’s verbally abusive to his wife-to-be, even in front of their young daughter, but says he wants to stop. Maggie moved halfway across the country and took their child without telling him. Can Michael get his family back, or has he lashed out one time too many?  Share your thoughts here.

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December 2, 2006, 4:12 pm CST

12/08 Out-of-Control Husbands

Its  so sad   to see drugs  mess up a family and for  a man to cheat on his wife  is  wrong and a sin.    Its a sin for a man to beat up his wife or girlfriend!   After a man  does any of these things you can never trust them again.   A woman  don't need to stay with a man thats on drugs, cheats, or beat  them up!    A  person in a problem like any of these  need to  pray for the other person doing this stuff and  hope they will get help.   At the same time stay away from that  person!                
 
December 3, 2006, 9:47 am CST

12/08 Out-of-Control Husbands

Quote From: jesusislord

Its  so sad   to see drugs  mess up a family and for  a man to cheat on his wife  is  wrong and a sin.    Its a sin for a man to beat up his wife or girlfriend!   After a man  does any of these things you can never trust them again.   A woman  don't need to stay with a man thats on drugs, cheats, or beat  them up!    A  person in a problem like any of these  need to  pray for the other person doing this stuff and  hope they will get help.   At the same time stay away from that  person!                

People can change & do when they choose to. But it has to be the offender's choice or it will never take. Even when it is their choice, it's a hard path. I am still having a hard time trusting my husband after all of his lies even though he's becoming everything I've ever needed.

 

I certainly believe there comes a point when it can be too much & there just isn't any energy left for yet another "second chance". I thought I was there last summer. Thankfully, I wasn't. We are doing good right now. He's being patient with me & the fact that I don't trust him yet. He's also coming to grips with why I don't trust him yet.

 
December 3, 2006, 4:21 pm CST

A person has to want to change

 

In my experience if a person doesn't want to really change they won't.  Words are cheap actions are worth their weight in gold.  Change can't be forced on someone thats control, loving someone for who they are isn't always in the best interest of the people involved either.

 
December 3, 2006, 9:48 pm CST

Once a cheater...

My first husband was a cheater early on.  I thought I could forgive him, we were both young; but in the long run and two children later, it was not in my power to forget even though I forgave.  The marriage ended in divorce, only then, two children were damaged by it.  I think that people should split if infidelity is becoming a truth in the marriage. 

 

I have gone on now to a great marriage...they should invent another word to describe the bliss of this union.  Although I will never recover fully from the abuse and mental confusion created by infidelity. 

 

I vote to end all relationships that encounter infidelity...no amount of forgiveness, therapy, or time can heal that betrayal.

 
December 3, 2006, 10:06 pm CST

Mrs. Bonaduce

  Re: The Bonaduce's, sadly Mrs. Bonaduce, the only way to know is to let go and watch and see what he does. He has messed up before and I would be watching as well. He apparently does not feel very good about himself inside, or he wouldn't keep looking for attention, how was his childhood? Perhaps seeking to justify a short coming in childhood, does he realize he dishonors his parents, and also that of his children, he risks his children living the same form of life.   Sadly being a celebrity makes for more time away from you, and gal's that are star struck are available to him. If he cannot withstand the temptation he may have to give up his star-career. Until he can color inside the lines.   Life is too short to spend it frazzled with worry.... loosen up on him and watch and see what he does (if you must). Give him the room to earn back his trust, or blow it. Either way at least then you will know. Personally, I would have kicked him to the curb the first time. He can't see your value when he has none for himself.  How does a person gets value to begin with? By drawing lines of respect for others...and self, and sticking to it. Show him how, by sticking to yours.
 
December 3, 2006, 10:14 pm CST

sorry type-o

How does a person get value to begin with? By drawing lines of respect for other's...and self, and sticking to it. Show him how, by sticking to yours.

 
December 4, 2006, 12:58 am CST

out of control hubands and Bobby

I remember watching the former child tv strars show. At first I liked it, thinking he was really trying to get help, but the more I saw of it the more I came to realize that everything is always about him. Now I realize that when there is someone in the family with that kind of problem it is beyond hard for them. But here is the kicker..it is beyond, beyond hard on his wife who he has treated horribly. I think there comes a time when she should say stop! Let's seperate, get a divorce, and move on. She deserves to be happy and I think he just loves all the drama about him. When does she finally count? When she has the courage to say, I love you (if she still does), but I want my own life back..MY identy back. I hope she find the courage to do that. If he gets sober, and stays sober for a long, long, time and she wants to reunite then thats up to her, but I think the relationship is toxic. It's sad really, but who wants to watch that? They need help without the cameras. My opinion, cheryl
 
December 4, 2006, 1:33 am CST

Danny and his wifes story

I wrote earlier, but I don't think it got posted correctly, so I will repeat it and if there are two, well then just throw one out. I remember watching the show about him trying to get help with his drug problems and at first having respect for him for that, but it just didn't work and the way he treated and still treats his wife is just horrible. I know he has this terrible problem, but where does her life come in? She deserves to be happy and he is abusive emotionally to her. I think she should leave him, and I take vows very seriously, but enough already. He is so full of himself and maybe it is the drugs talking, but I think that down deep he just wants everything to be about all his needs. She deserves a life without all that stress and drama and make her own way. I think she would find such peace that she hasn't know in a long time. Danny can get help without her and should I think. I pray they both find happiness and clarity. Cheryl
 
December 4, 2006, 2:09 am CST

out of control husbands

Quote From: jesusislord

Its  so sad   to see drugs  mess up a family and for  a man to cheat on his wife  is  wrong and a sin.    Its a sin for a man to beat up his wife or girlfriend!   After a man  does any of these things you can never trust them again.   A woman  don't need to stay with a man thats on drugs, cheats, or beat  them up!    A  person in a problem like any of these  need to  pray for the other person doing this stuff and  hope they will get help.   At the same time stay away from that  person!                
  WHEN   A   PERSON   HAS   A   DRUG   OR   ALCHOL   ADDICTION  THAT   IS   THEIR   PRIMARY   RELATIONSHIP.  THEY   ALSO   TRY   TO   CONTROL   THOSE   AROUN D   THEM  AS   THEY   CAN   NOT   CONTROL   THEIR  ADDICTION.  YES,   IT  I S   SAD   FOR   ALL  INVOLVED,  HOWEVER   THE   REAL   VICTIM   IS  THE   PARTNER   AND   CHILDREN   OF   THE   [ADDICTED].   GOD   HELP   THEM  ALL.   AL-ANON   IS   A   GREAT   PLACE   TO  START.
 
December 4, 2006, 4:24 am CST

Danny

There are alot of alcholics in my family, 4 out of 5 of us kids were, and I personally couldnt live with one.  When I got together with my 2nd husband he had a choice it was me or the booze, and luckily he chose me, 22 years later he still doesnt drink and everything if fantastic. I am writing about Danny B. I watch his show and I feel like he is really trying and that Gretchen is just yanking his chain now. He has been trying hard and she "lets" him move back into the house and then puts him in the so called "guest" room.  Give me a break, most of us have bathrooms bigger than that. I think now she needs to give a little more or he needs to kick her out and keep the kids. I love his show, and I didnt use to care for him but I really like him now too, guess its the bad boy thing. Anyways, thats my thought, Gretchen needs to give in to Danny or he can come live with my family. In case you read this Danny we love you.
 
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