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Topic : 12/13 Holiday Horror Stories

Number of Replies: 461
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Created on : Friday, December 08, 2006, 02:32:23 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
The holidays are here, but some households never experience “peace on earth.” Dr. Phil’s guests refuse to embrace the spirit of the season, and say Christmas is the worst time of the year! Joyce has been married to Rick for 27 years, and has hated the holidays for 26 of those years. She refuses to put up a tree, decorate her house or listen to Christmas carols. Rick says Joyce even flipped out when he tried to dangle some mistletoe over her head!  Joyce has succeeded in ruining her family’s joy, but is she about to destroy her marriage? Then, Val has 11 kids, but says her three daughters stop at nothing to wreck the holidays. One daughter even resorted to breaking her sister’s finger on Christmas day! The constant fighting has pushed Val to consider something drastic. And, find out what special event Robin and Dr. Phil hosted to help celebrate the true holiday spirit! Talk about the show here.

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December 12, 2006, 6:13 am CST

Have a very Zenny Christmas

Stress. Commercialism. Crowds.

Why do you buy into all the bad things around Christmas? Why do you allow outside forces to control you? I live in the world like everyone else, and none of that has ever touched me or my Christmas. Christmas is my happy place... I absolutely refuse to let the Scroogey forces enter my world!

 

I hope everyone realises that I use the word "you" in the general sense.

 
December 12, 2006, 6:38 am CST

Reply to orig poster

Quote From: mswing10

Sounds like your BIL is very inconsiderate.  Now you can't change him, so stop trying.  All you can do is change your reaction to him so that you can be happy when he visits.  You have a resentment and resentments are poisonous to your spirit. 

Is it so hard to open your house to him even if it is unexpected?  I disagree with you trying to "control" this situation because that is not what life is all about.  Why not just get some space ready for him but also gently let him know it would make your holidays so much easier if he were just  a little bit more considerate and pick up the phone to let you know he's coming.  Sure, expect that he won't get it and will continue to do this, but open your heart a little, open your home a little, let him know you love him and get some holiday spirit. 

Friends and family can be dear to us and can be welcome if you just expect the unexpected from them.  Don't reschedule your day or clear out a room for him.  Just grab a blanket, pillow and let him know there is always a spot on the floor for him - but there's a bed if he calls ahead.  No one would fault you for that, but you're guarenteed a pissy attitude from him if you act ungratious to him. 

 

Hi,

 

I think you intended to address the original poster (I've done the same thing before myself).  I'm not the one with the troublesome BIL, but was giving the advice.

 

I don't think her BIL will respond to grace, though.  He's used to steamrolling his way over ppl, but I think if she just establishes some ground rules with her husband, they can minimize his negative behavior( and hopefully he will realize that he needs to change his behavior or he's not welcome).

I do agree that she and her husband should respond w/ love, but be really firm, like with a spoiled child who throws fits.  If he doesn't like it, too bad, he has to learn that he can't get away with taking over the situation b/c its so important to him.  This is their household, not his, and I think they should make that very clear.

 
December 12, 2006, 7:21 am CST

holiday horror stories

 I just love Christmas time. the whole concept of a baby being born. and we get to celebrate it by being with family and friends and giving gifts especially to kids...talk about unselfish...It is the most romantic time to me.......But those that don't celebrate it or like it should not be berated for it, every one has their own feelings about the holidays and that is why we have choices in america....
 
December 12, 2006, 7:56 am CST

Christmas Holidays

I know how she feels this is the first year I put up a tree but it was extinuating circumstances with me. My Mom died back in Dec. 14, 2000 and every since then I haven't been able to get into the Christmas spirit until this year.

My husband and I have one of our grandson's living with us now. He is 15 years of age and a God send or I wouldn't have a tree up this year.

 
December 12, 2006, 7:58 am CST

Christmas Holidays

I know how she feels this is the first year I put up a tree but it was extinuating circumstances with me. My Mom died back in Dec. 14, 2000 and every since then I haven't been able to get into the Christmas spirit until this year.

My husband and I have one of our grandson's living with us now. He is 15 years of age and a God send or I wouldn't have a tree up this year.

 
December 12, 2006, 9:46 am CST

hello

Don't forget what christmas is all about!!  It's all about  Jesus Christ our  God  !!   Jesus is the reason for christmas!   God bless!  Marry  Christmas!!!!!!!!!
 
December 12, 2006, 10:16 am CST

GO FOR IT

Quote From: ceildh1

First off I want to THANK EVERYONE for the advice,Seems my BIL is in for a couple of surprises this year.

We put up with it, only because he comes from the other side of the country to DROP IN ( must be nice to afford the airfare and the rental car for that time), and he used the line " I could be deployed to Afghnistan anytime," he's in the Navy, so of course the double whammy right >?

But this year I choose to be happy over th holidays, and keep my car keys within reach, I guess I just never know when my Mom is going to need help with Christmas dinner or baking , that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Also, I told my husband, he shows up, you lose a day off work because I won't be here to entertain him, Hubby dosen't like to take time off this time of year, and my SIL has PROMISED to run interference,like picking him up at the airport and taking him to her place, but he can't stay there because her daughter is having Chemo, and everyone is banned right now who might have a cold or flu bug with them (perfectly understandable).

We have picked him up a gift card for a local hotel, right between us, and that's where he'll be staying, because I've had enough, and I will tell him, you want to raise kids, get a couple of your own.

Thanks again, I really appreciate it

Happy Holidays to all ( yes even the Scrooges )

Hey you go for it and have a good holiday
 
December 12, 2006, 5:58 pm CST

12/13 Holiday Horror Stories

Quote From: missniceguy

I know how she feels this is the first year I put up a tree but it was extinuating circumstances with me. My Mom died back in Dec. 14, 2000 and every since then I haven't been able to get into the Christmas spirit until this year.

My husband and I have one of our grandson's living with us now. He is 15 years of age and a God send or I wouldn't have a tree up this year.

Isn't it AMAZING how KIDS, at any age can brighten the holidays!

You know, I thought I would miss the whole playing Santa thing, my two are 14 &16 so they hardly BELIVE, but they still LOVE the getting together with family, not to mention Christmas dinner.

Your Grandson is a lucky kid, and yes you too are lucky to have him there, enjoy your holidays but you sound as though you will.

 
December 12, 2006, 6:20 pm CST

Who cares how she spends the holidays?

Why is it anyone's business how she chooses to spend her holiday's? Though from the previews, I understand that she is making everyone else's life miserable, too. So, maybe Dr. Phil can get her to understand that if eveyone else wants to celebrate let them, just leave her out of it?!
 
December 12, 2006, 6:38 pm CST

12/13 Holiday Horror Stories

Quote From: bear_ta

You seem to have rather large problems. Reading comprehension seems to be at the top of the list. At no time have I directed a single comment at you. I have no idea who you are. You seem to have a large chip on your shoulder as well. I do not let people control me the way you seem to. My family would never call me such a degrading name. I guess that is why I enjoy the holidays so much. Obviously people that call others names are not behaving. I was not using the word 'behave' in regards to people with such an atrocious lack of civility, but rather people that are grumpy. I would have nothing to do with people such as you describe. I would also allow no one to ruin my life, my holidays or my joy. I do not allow people to control me, but then again I don't come from a family that behaves that way either. I am terribly sorry you have such a rough life.

Those comments were not directed at me but those who simply do not find anything special about the hoildays. It is almost as if that is seen as a bad thing which it is not. It's difficult to comment on the woman in the previews but the pitching a fit over mistletoe is pretty childish and VERY unacceptable. That is how nearly all people who look at the holidays in a neutral way look to others. She looks like she feels pure loathing. It is a matter of choice and there is no reason why someone should "spend a vacation alone to avoid making others feel bad", thats just silly.

As long as each person understands how others view holidays individually (happiness, sadness, or nothing at all) I don't see what the problem is. To each their own.


 
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