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Topic : 12/13 Holiday Horror Stories

Number of Replies: 461
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Created on : Friday, December 08, 2006, 02:32:23 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
The holidays are here, but some households never experience “peace on earth.” Dr. Phil’s guests refuse to embrace the spirit of the season, and say Christmas is the worst time of the year! Joyce has been married to Rick for 27 years, and has hated the holidays for 26 of those years. She refuses to put up a tree, decorate her house or listen to Christmas carols. Rick says Joyce even flipped out when he tried to dangle some mistletoe over her head!  Joyce has succeeded in ruining her family’s joy, but is she about to destroy her marriage? Then, Val has 11 kids, but says her three daughters stop at nothing to wreck the holidays. One daughter even resorted to breaking her sister’s finger on Christmas day! The constant fighting has pushed Val to consider something drastic. And, find out what special event Robin and Dr. Phil hosted to help celebrate the true holiday spirit! Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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December 9, 2006, 9:05 pm CST

Traditions

My Christmas traditions began 25 years ago...

 

26 years ago, I buried my infant son on Christmas Eve...he died of SIDS on December 22. I had 2 toddlers at home and went home to play Santa Claus that night...it was the most horrid Christmas I ever saw my children experience...not because they lost their brother, but because they did not understand why everyone was so subdued on such a great day. In the midst of my grief, I decided that they would never see another Christmas that was not full of wonder and laughter the way Christmas should be. As the next year progressed, many things happened, one was that I became pregnant again and had a child Dec. 16th of the next year. I was so dreading the hollidays. With baby blues and the anniversary of the death of my son, it was not a pleasant time.

 

After some thought and prayer, I came to a concious decision to begin new traditions in my family for my children...but basically for me. I began by decorating the house the day after Thanksgiving. I had to get a running start on the depression that set in about the beginning of December. I began using advent calendars and candles, reading Christmas stories each night, and wrapping one present each night after the kids went to bed. I found that by making myself do these things and wrapping myself in the holiday, my mood became uplifted. As the kids would run to see for whom the new present was, their eyes would light up. Many other traditions developed over the years, but it was really just a matter of will to overcome the nay sayers.

 

Today, my 4 children are adults and they have great memories and wonderful stories of the holidays. I have been around bah, humbug people who say they hate the holidays, that it is the worst time of year, etc. but it is my opinion that you choose to be in a bad mood about it or a good mood and you can allow others to control your spirit or not. My husband hates Christmas and chooses to only be a peripheral part of the traditions. It's too bad that he robs himself of that joy. The rest of us choose to be children for a while!

 
December 9, 2006, 11:21 pm CST

So...don't you wonder?

The story hasn't aired yet, but I can sort of relate to Joyce's situation as described in the blurb about the show. Maybe something happened in the first Christmas of her marriage that turned her off to it? I was married to a man who berated me mercilessly for the money I spent (which was well within our ability to afford) on Christmas ornaments and a tree for our first Christmas. He insisted Christmas was "just another day" and often refused to buy presents and only joined in the festivities when seriously prodded to do so. I did Christmas every year for the kids, but his attitude permanently ruined the holiday for me. After 13 years, I divorced him (20 years ago) but to this day, I cannot summon up the joy I had in Christmas that first year we were married.

 

Maybe something happened in Joyce's first married Christmas that permanently spoiled it for her?

 
December 10, 2006, 8:00 am CST

Big Deal

I don't celabrate this holiday at all i agree with her 100%.  Where is the respect for those who don't  care abouth this holiday.   Noybody really celeabrates the holiday for the right reasons anymore so whats the BIG DEAL!!!!!

 
December 10, 2006, 8:43 am CST

What a grump!

How can you be so hard and callous during the holidays??  I know the holidays can be stressful, but the true spirit of Christmas is NOT about the decorations and presents.  Val seems to be a VERY selfish person who has ruined Christmas for her husband and their 11 children.  What a horrible example of the holiday spirit!  As a mother, she should be ashamed.  I'm surprised she still has a husband, too.
 
December 10, 2006, 9:31 am CST

Birthday horror

  It is so easy to remember the horrific things that have happened in our lives. Who tries to remember the good? I have often thought of writing a book about all the painful situations I bee in. This was the first, but not the last attempt to commit suicide. A child is fragile and should be treated as such. Here's my story...

...On my sixteenth birthday I came home from school expecting a birthday party and a loving day just for me. That didn't happen. Even though there was always some turmoil happening in our house; I tried to stay in good faith.

  As I was saying, I came home from school and I quickly discovered my day was not my day anymore. My mother was drunk, and stole my birthday to keep for herself.

  My dad was still at work so I didn't have anyone to protect me or console in. My level of energy dropped drastically. I left our house and walked toward the only friend I thought I had. Before I got to her house I had to cross a highway. As I crossed the highway thoughts of suicide jumped through my head. I cried, and I cried and finally I came to the conclusion my life wasn't worth living anymore. I jumped in front of a semi trailer. He swerved and missed me causing havic in the freeway. Fortunately A highway patrolman seen me and picked me up, then took me home.

  By this time my dad was home and he took me to the side and tried to comfort me. I was so deep into depression by this time nothing could sooth my emotions. As soon as I was alone I tried to stab myself in the gut. My dad walked in as the knife headed downward stepping into the path of the knife and catching my arms. He hugged me and realized the pain I was in. He never brough that incident up ever again after it happened. This horror story of my life along with plenty others haunt me to this very day. My belief in God and the faith I place in him along with the love for my wife and children keep me alive. I still fight the depression with no medication. I am stronger than any depression because God has shown me peace.

I know I don't have the worst story, but I know I have the best ending...LIFE.

 -olschoolshep

 
December 10, 2006, 1:00 pm CST

We Need Parenting Education

So Val has eleven kids and she mistreats them! Why did she have all these children if she lacks the kind of love, patience or knowledge required to be a good parent? Has she heard about birth control? Or the population problem in the world? Unfortunately, many people who have the most children are the least equipt to properly care for them. We need education about birth control and the financial and emotional impact of having more than two children in this country! I worked at an agency where children were at risk of abuse (and at the poverty level), and every single parent had four to five children! It's been said before, but we need parenting education in our schools!
 
December 10, 2006, 1:09 pm CST

True meanings differ

If you can't find enough love for your family to just behave because hate the holidays then go on a vacation by yourself . There are things one does whether you like it or not when you love people.

Thankfully I didn't get that defective selfish gene. I hate shopping; my husband loves shopping. I go shopping on a regular basis, with a smile. I love Christmas. To me it's about my family, food, decorations and music. I love the smells in the house. I love the food I've had from childhood. My mother is German, and I grew up with amazing German food and traditions. My father is Irish, and always made Christmas fun. None of us believe in god, but we grew up in a Christian societies, so it's our culture, and our traditions stem from that. I've never stressed out at the holidays. I don't go overboard with presents. Being with the people I love and giving them something they wanted is nice, but to me it's all about the family dinner, and the warmth we have for each other.

 
December 10, 2006, 1:14 pm CST

It's all about control

Quote From: violetmay

The story hasn't aired yet, but I can sort of relate to Joyce's situation as described in the blurb about the show. Maybe something happened in the first Christmas of her marriage that turned her off to it? I was married to a man who berated me mercilessly for the money I spent (which was well within our ability to afford) on Christmas ornaments and a tree for our first Christmas. He insisted Christmas was "just another day" and often refused to buy presents and only joined in the festivities when seriously prodded to do so. I did Christmas every year for the kids, but his attitude permanently ruined the holiday for me. After 13 years, I divorced him (20 years ago) but to this day, I cannot summon up the joy I had in Christmas that first year we were married.

 

Maybe something happened in Joyce's first married Christmas that permanently spoiled it for her?

Why would you let someone control your life like that? My ex hated Christmas and tried to ruin it... I laughed at the the idiot ,and told him to bugger off and grow up. No one controls me.
 
December 10, 2006, 1:14 pm CST

Not a holiday lover either

I admit, my FI and I do not get excited about the holidays. There is very little either of us find appealing about christmas music, shopping, commercialism, or anything of the sort. However, getting people to understand this can be difficult and sometimes it is downright frustrating. No matter what we say, no matter how much we try to respect the feelings of others, we still get criticized for *gasp!!* not jumping for joy over Christmas. For example, I wouldn't screech if someone held mistletoe over my head, I'd just smile and go along with it, rather than tell them it's tacky.

Some other responses I have gotten when someone asks (when you ask a question, don't get upset when you don't hear the answer you want!) if I enjoy the holidays and I give them the truth:

1. You're bitter
2. You're a sad miserable person
3. You're not old enough to appreciate the season
4. You're an athiest
5. You're self centered

No matter how polite FI or I have been, one or more of the above answers are usually thrown back.

What is really sad is that most of those comments come from family. FI and I are already dreading going to his parent's house where all the relatives will be meeting up because of this attitude. It is a cycle, and to us, the only way to break it is to keep ourselves out of the fire, which will cause more trouble, and so on and so on. So what are you to do?
 
December 10, 2006, 1:59 pm CST

Christmas isn't Chirstmas without Christ

For me I have many reasons why celebrating Christmas, or any Holiday for that matter, can be a disheartening time due to it has become so commercialized in the last several years. It is always about how much you are spending & not about the true meaning of the year. As a Christian, I strive to remember the true meaning & celebrate Christ's birth. Yes I buy the gifts for friends & family, but I also share the holiday with those who struggle with this time of year. To me it isn't about the tree, the ornaments, or even the lights nor the sales after Thanksgiving. I enjoy knowing that the gift of life & caring for others is where the true meaning of the holiday is. I have co-workers that weren't that eager to participate in Secret Santa or decorating our section of the call center (then again I have several who were more thna happy to help me out), but when they saw the decorations, the tree, & the way people lit up when they saw the change in the air, they were willing to place their depression or feelings aside to help out. I am a Mentor Supervisor for DTV, & we started seeing the excitement of the Season affect the customers we had on the phones. I believe anyone can sett aside their feelings about the holidays, & when you have children we need to consider them most of all. So yes I also see how Toys for Tots is a great way to spread the true meaning of Christmas.....it isn't about spending money.....it is about letting others know that no one is alone & someone is always available. As a Christian, I feel it my responsibility to reach out to others no matter what time of year it is. Buy that hamburger for the person standing at the off ramp, or buy a cup of coffee for a person who seems like the world is ending. Don't judge a book by its cover is simple if you are open to knowing that nothing is an accident, because God placed that event or person in your path for that very reason.

 

I experienced the loss of my brother in April of this year, & the only regret I have is that so many years were wasted because our family didn't take the time to enjoy being together more often. Yes we all had made our choices & were dealing with daily life, but instead of creating the memories when we had the chance it was easier just to move forward. Now that I am the only one who had children, my children will never know what my family (maternal) was like since only my husband's has made the effort to show what family holidays mean. My family has chosen not to take part in our family get togethers because I chose to be involved in my husband's family instead. Call it what you will........my last memory I have of a family christmas was when my grandfather hired one of his employees to play Santa. I was about 8 & my sister has just started getting around on her own & my mom was pregnant with my brother. That year Santa brougth all sorts of toys & treats for us, but what I loved most was my musical teddy bear. I still have the musical teddy bear that Santa gave me that year......I passed it on to my own children. I remember the laughter & the tears.....it wasn't about getting the most expensive toy, but about being together. After my grandfather died in 1991 family get togethers were next to impossible as my family decided that since I was married I was no longer under their influence & did all they could to exclude me...so in the end turning to my husband's family was a good thing. I remember our 1st christmas together when we were dating.....his family included me in their holiday & included my family on ones after that till my family chose to stay away.

 

Christmas is about the season of giving not about what we get out of it or at least it shouldn't. Have a wonderful holiday season no matter how you spend it, just remember  that friends & family can make some wonderful memories if the value isn't monetary!

 
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