Topic : 12/13 Holiday Horror Stories

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Created on : Friday, December 08, 2006, 02:32:23 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
The holidays are here, but some households never experience “peace on earth.” Dr. Phil’s guests refuse to embrace the spirit of the season, and say Christmas is the worst time of the year! Joyce has been married to Rick for 27 years, and has hated the holidays for 26 of those years. She refuses to put up a tree, decorate her house or listen to Christmas carols. Rick says Joyce even flipped out when he tried to dangle some mistletoe over her head!  Joyce has succeeded in ruining her family’s joy, but is she about to destroy her marriage? Then, Val has 11 kids, but says her three daughters stop at nothing to wreck the holidays. One daughter even resorted to breaking her sister’s finger on Christmas day! The constant fighting has pushed Val to consider something drastic. And, find out what special event Robin and Dr. Phil hosted to help celebrate the true holiday spirit! Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More December 2006 Show Boards.


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December 13, 2006, 1:18 pm PST

It's all about control . . .

This woman is angry, bitter and unhappy about who knows what ... and takes it out on her family, including her grandchildren.  Whatever her issue, she has no right to inflict her misery on everyone else.   If she hates Christmas, let her go on a cruise during the  holidays.  I refuse to believe some stupid incident about a returned outfit two decades ago is the real problem - and I don't blame her husband for giving up in the face of constant criticism.
 
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December 13, 2006, 1:18 pm PST

present arent everthing

       Ok, well i understand getting gifts makes the holidays a little brighter but these people took it too far. i mean they are really lucky because they have such a nice family. There are some people who spend the holidays ALONE. Another point i want to make is that those people were just being greedy. They wanted the "perfect gift" and anything less is unacceptable. i know the Christmas is more about families then and getting together and I'm only a teenager!!! So PLEASE lets not forget what the holidays are for!!!
 
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December 13, 2006, 1:27 pm PST

Joyce is so incredibly selfish

I just finished watching Joyce and am shocked that such a selfish, mean woman would go on t.v. and show the world how shallow and childish she is.  She should be so ashamed.
 
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December 13, 2006, 1:28 pm PST

12/13 Holiday Horror Stories

I think before people start bashing other people for not celebrating this  "holiday' need to a do a bit of research on the history of this tradition. Regardless of  what this means to you, Christ actually has nothing to do with this. If you take the time you will find out that this is a pagan tradition used to try and convert pagans and the like over to christianity.  Today the "holiday" has certaintly changed with the time and has become a huge orgy of consumerism and greed. If you say you are celebrating Christ's birthday reading and paying attention to the Bible can show you that this is not so. Birthdays were not meant to be celebrated as portraid in the Bible itself, the only two birthdays celebrated ended in death. Christ himself did not say to carry on celebrating the day of his birth, as he did give other clear instructions to us, you think he would have mentioned this if he had intended us to celebrate it.
And I did see the Dr.Phil show where he so elequently said that he was not going to let something that happened thousands of years ago define what christmas means to him and his family. I don't agree with that. Why would you celebrate something that originally had nothing to do with Christ? Look what it has become today, do you think Jesus would be happy at the way it's celebrated?
I don't think that just because someone does not celebrate this holiday should be called "horrible" or be judged harshly. In turn, I am not judging anyone on here if they choses to do so, I just urge each of you to really look up the histroy of this before defending it blindly.
 

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December 13, 2006, 1:35 pm PST

Holiday Humbug

I have to agree that the holidays are a bunch of humbug and hogwash.  The anxiety of making everything "just so" creates such a stress that I could completely skip the month of December.  People don't put thought into the gifts you receive, so you get a bunch of crap.  People don't appreciate the thought and effort you put into their gift and most of the time regift it anyway.  So why not just quit and save the time and money.  As for family time, no thanks.  They are always my spouses siblings and I don't really like them anyway, so why bother!  BaHumbug!!
 
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December 13, 2006, 1:36 pm PST

holiday horrors

Quote From: chicagochic

I posted earlier about my father discovering my brother, the day after christmas, dead on his bed (just last year, Dec 26). I pasted that in an ATTEMPT to get at the closing message of my post "that I hope my mother can still enjoy christmas, even through her saddness for the loss of her son". I was not saying we hate christmas now. NO WAY. My parents house is all decorated, and we are doing our same tradition: church christmas eve, coming home to eat my mothers normal creations (crab legs, mexican taco dip, salami and cheeses, etc...- all of outr fav's) and watch "Its a Wonderful Life", for trhe 27th year in a row.

 

All I was saying is that I hope my mom is trully calmed (at ease) on the inside, because I know she will appear to be perfectly content on the outside. That is waht kinda person she is. She keeps her pain inside so as to not hurt anyone else. She is the most inspirational person ever. I just hope she is trully at peace this christmas. That's all.

 

I still love Christmas and all it stands for, as does my family. For us it stands for the birth of our father (Jesus), love, giving, and selflessness.

 My prayers and love go out to you and your family...I am so glad that you love christmas still....cause JESUS is the reason for the Season................When my sister was killed my mom kept it inside (at least that is what I thought) but really she just prayed a lot and that really helped calm her down.....and that gave her peace on the inside......Prayers to you ....Merry Christmas......
 
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December 13, 2006, 1:37 pm PST

Top Ten Reasons Why I Hate Christmas

Quote From: freesia83

I admit, my FI and I do not get excited about the holidays. There is very little either of us find appealing about christmas music, shopping, commercialism, or anything of the sort. However, getting people to understand this can be difficult and sometimes it is downright frustrating. No matter what we say, no matter how much we try to respect the feelings of others, we still get criticized for *gasp!!* not jumping for joy over Christmas. For example, I wouldn't screech if someone held mistletoe over my head, I'd just smile and go along with it, rather than tell them it's tacky.

Some other responses I have gotten when someone asks (when you ask a question, don't get upset when you don't hear the answer you want!) if I enjoy the holidays and I give them the truth:

1. You're bitter
2. You're a sad miserable person
3. You're not old enough to appreciate the season
4. You're an athiest
5. You're self centered

No matter how polite FI or I have been, one or more of the above answers are usually thrown back.

What is really sad is that most of those comments come from family. FI and I are already dreading going to his parent's house where all the relatives will be meeting up because of this attitude. It is a cycle, and to us, the only way to break it is to keep ourselves out of the fire, which will cause more trouble, and so on and so on. So what are you to do?

Here's a hearty pat on the back from one Christmas non-enthusiast to another.  I get the same reaction, except for the "not old enough to appreciate the season," since I'm pushing 50.

 

draya001's Top Ten Reasons Why I Hate Christmas

 

10.  I hate Christmas because it is the first big lie parents tell their children.  I know, I know; it's all supposed to be for fun, but I think teaching a child that fantasy is real is detrimental to their mental development and their trust in their parents. 

 

9.  I hate Christmas because if you're not with the Christmas Crowd they will definitely make sure you're against them.

 

8.  I hate Christmas because it has taken an honest (however much misguided, in my opinion) sentiment and turned it into a three month long commercial.

 

7.  I hate Christmas because Salvation Army beggars wielding bells like weapons make entering any and every store a torment.  When I was a kid, they used to sing carols and play music, which was not annoying and rather pleasant.  Now they hire derelicts who throw sarcasm, curses and spit, just because I quietly passed them by.  The Salvation Army is a charitable organization, and they do good things.  If their kettle contributions are pretty thin, they ought to consider why.

 

6.  I hate Christmas because by the time everyone has worn themselves out jumping through all the obligatory hoops, no one can enjoy it.

 

5.  I hate Christmas because every year the most beautiful 70-foot Norway Spruce in the world gets killed and stuck up to dry and rot in Rockefeller Plaza, along with millions of its lesser cousins throughout the world.

 

4.  I hate the waste of paper and foil.  I hate the mess and the noise.

 

3.  I hate greedy kids who are (in about 30 minutes) completely uninterested in whatever toy they've been screaming about for the last six months.

 

2.  I hate the inevitable family fights.

 

1.  And finally, I hate Christmas because of all the Christians who whine and complain that it isn't about Jesus' birth any more, and who don't have the wit or initiative to read The Bible carefully enough to know that if Jesus ben Joseph did exist, he surely wasn't born in December; or read a history book with enough diligence to realize that what we now know as Christmas was once a pagan holiday called Saturnalia that early Northern European Christians co-opted to increase their numbers.  They tended to have a lot of backsliders around Saturnalia and they wanted to snag them back with another celebration a few days later.  If Jesus did exist, he was a Jew who maintained that he was a man like any other man; he celebrated the rituals any young Rabbi would; and the only time his birthday was anything much special was his Bar Mitzvah.  Jesus was a teacher with a message, and although I'm not a Christian (or even a Jew) I think he would be disturbed to find what we've made of his message.  He repeatedly cautioned us not to think of him as a god, because he wanted us to know that we are all God's children, and all humans can attain grace -- a very good message no matter what its source.  If you're going to be a Christian, do it right and quit whining about it.

 

'nuff said

 
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December 13, 2006, 1:38 pm PST

12/13 Holiday Horror Stories

For Heaven Sakes Joyce!   

 

 Honey, you think youre the only person in the world who has received gifts they didnt like?  I wonder how you would have acted if your mother in law gave you a sweater with a zebras ass on it one Christmas???      (MINE did!  And im still trying to figure out what the implied message was with that!  HA HA)   Or... how about when you ask for a simple knit white hat and glove set, which you can pick up at any Wal Mart for about 10 bucks, you received some God awful fedora type thingy straight out of the Grumpy Old Men movie?  (Jack Lemon wore a fine example)   Or... how about a sweat shirt with drunk dogs and ciggarette smoking kittens?  (two words for everyone ~  GIFT CERTIFFICATES~ lol)

 

Have I pouted and fussed and carried on year after year for these (not so) wonderful gifts?  No.  Matter of fact, I just spent the weekend making 10 pounds of fudge to ship off to all these unfortunate poor misguided gift givers.  And!   I did it HAPPILY!  Listening to Christmas music and having FUN!    :)

 

Its time to climb down off  your cross.   You already spent 26 years making a specticle of yourself.  Change your me me me me me (Dr. Phil sure got that right!) attitude and give your children and grandchildren a fun and happy Christmas!    If you dont, you never know what may happen.  You just might find yourself on the receiving end of a zebras ass sweater!   Think of your trauma then!   :D  LOL

 
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December 13, 2006, 1:42 pm PST

In Response to "Christmas isn't Christmas without Christ"

Quote From: gailhart33

For me I have many reasons why celebrating Christmas, or any Holiday for that matter, can be a disheartening time due to it has become so commercialized in the last several years. It is always about how much you are spending & not about the true meaning of the year. As a Christian, I strive to remember the true meaning & celebrate Christ's birth. Yes I buy the gifts for friends & family, but I also share the holiday with those who struggle with this time of year. To me it isn't about the tree, the ornaments, or even the lights nor the sales after Thanksgiving. I enjoy knowing that the gift of life & caring for others is where the true meaning of the holiday is. I have co-workers that weren't that eager to participate in Secret Santa or decorating our section of the call center (then again I have several who were more thna happy to help me out), but when they saw the decorations, the tree, & the way people lit up when they saw the change in the air, they were willing to place their depression or feelings aside to help out. I am a Mentor Supervisor for DTV, & we started seeing the excitement of the Season affect the customers we had on the phones. I believe anyone can sett aside their feelings about the holidays, & when you have children we need to consider them most of all. So yes I also see how Toys for Tots is a great way to spread the true meaning of Christmas.....it isn't about spending money.....it is about letting others know that no one is alone & someone is always available. As a Christian, I feel it my responsibility to reach out to others no matter what time of year it is. Buy that hamburger for the person standing at the off ramp, or buy a cup of coffee for a person who seems like the world is ending. Don't judge a book by its cover is simple if you are open to knowing that nothing is an accident, because God placed that event or person in your path for that very reason.

 

I experienced the loss of my brother in April of this year, & the only regret I have is that so many years were wasted because our family didn't take the time to enjoy being together more often. Yes we all had made our choices & were dealing with daily life, but instead of creating the memories when we had the chance it was easier just to move forward. Now that I am the only one who had children, my children will never know what my family (maternal) was like since only my husband's has made the effort to show what family holidays mean. My family has chosen not to take part in our family get togethers because I chose to be involved in my husband's family instead. Call it what you will........my last memory I have of a family christmas was when my grandfather hired one of his employees to play Santa. I was about 8 & my sister has just started getting around on her own & my mom was pregnant with my brother. That year Santa brougth all sorts of toys & treats for us, but what I loved most was my musical teddy bear. I still have the musical teddy bear that Santa gave me that year......I passed it on to my own children. I remember the laughter & the tears.....it wasn't about getting the most expensive toy, but about being together. After my grandfather died in 1991 family get togethers were next to impossible as my family decided that since I was married I was no longer under their influence & did all they could to exclude me...so in the end turning to my husband's family was a good thing. I remember our 1st christmas together when we were dating.....his family included me in their holiday & included my family on ones after that till my family chose to stay away.

 

Christmas is about the season of giving not about what we get out of it or at least it shouldn't. Have a wonderful holiday season no matter how you spend it, just remember  that friends & family can make some wonderful memories if the value isn't monetary!

Hey there,

I'm all brand new here at this board, and I'll admit I have to skim almost all posts because of an eyesight issue.  So if I missed something reguarding this, I apologize.  But I was once a very religious young woman ... and I still was young enough to get thrilled about the recieving of gists every 25th of December.  I still do love it.  I think all of us who celebrate that way do enjoy it.  Especially the giving part.  I'm finally at that age where it's almost more important than the getting.  Still ... as someone who is now conflicted about her beliefs, I'd just like to point out to anyone who is unaware, Christmas didn't start out anywhere near the birth of Christ.  Nor did it have anything whatsoever to do with it.  We all know about "Jolly Old St. Nicholas".  And Christmas is on December 25th because that happens to be the true St. Nicholas' birthday.  I won't tell people who celebrate the birth of Christ and think that's all this holiday is about that they are wrong.  I find nothing wrong or negative about people chosing such a time to celebrate such an event.  I still see it as the same thing, too.  Just please, I ask everyone, be aware that it started in honor of the great deeds of the generous Nicholas many, many years ago.  Bishop Nicholas, even.  That's all I have to say really.  I do my own giving and recieving at Christmas, and for me I simply love getting together and enjoying the company of those I adore and love.  So ... happy Holidays everyone.  I hope you have all had a great year, even if you chose not to celebrate the holiday.

 
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December 13, 2006, 1:44 pm PST

holiday horrors

 I was truly shocked to hear the level of self absorption and entitlement shown by the daughters.  I am one of 5 sisters. We grew up in a terrifying household with every imagineable and unimagineable kind of abuse.  My sisters and I have suffered the effects of chronic ptsd and a host of physical problems due to this.  There have been many times when 1 or more of us have been unabled to tolerate being with each other due to various stages of healing.  The most important thing we stand by is that we are all healing in our own way and we would NEVER take that out on each other during the holidays or anytime we visit.  We have worked long and hard to have respectful, caring relationships with each other.  That has allowed us to be with each other during really bad times and really good times and what a blessing it is.  If they can't show love and respect for their siblings, then they should leave them alone and stop harassing them until they can.  One day,when they are in their 30's or in their 50's and 60's,  they will need their family. When illness and circumstances beyond their control leaves them in need of help to get by; they will be grateful for people who are helpful and supportive.  My sisters and I are living proof that if you make healing a priority in the family you can change your relationships and have a loving family who support your growth and celebrate your life as they are the only ones who have been there from the start .  Things do not matter; stupid fight over nothing due not matter; what matters is peace and serenity in your heart when you love unconditionally your family, and bring that feeling to all the relationships.  You don't lose your independance; you don't have to agree with everything everyones says and does; you can love and accept them for who  they are, and they, in return, can love,respect and accept you.
 

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