Topic : 12/13 Holiday Horror Stories

I just finished watching this episode.. UNBELIEVABLE is all I can say.. Actually I can say more.. LOL

I come from a family of 11 children... Seven girls, 4 boys... The oldest being 60 and the youngest 41.. Me falling as one of the middle children..Not ONCE has our family ever gone through episodes such as what those 3 sisters are doing to one another.. Not ONCE has my mother shown favoritism.. Even after the death of my father when he was 51 (33 years ago, january 21st) My mother was always just as loving and caring then as she is now... If we had a problem we could go to her... and we still can.. and she's 80.... I sure hope these 4 are going to go for the counselling that was offered to them before it's too late...

If you live anywhere in So. Cal, the theme park I mentioned in my previous post is Knott's.  It would be so cool if you could take a little trip there.  Talk about an Elf Intervention....their Log Ride is decorated inside with snow and elves and, of course, you have that big drop at the end of the ride!  Screaming your guts out as you are falling down an elf mountian is a great way to get out of rut!  Of course, their little high pitched singing voices are sort of scary.  He, he.  Kind of like munchins who took happy pills.  : )

Midnight Mass from the Vatican is shown on TV.  Just to mix everybody up they begin the broadcast at 11:30!  (In So. Cal anyway.)  I think it is NBC.  I love making hot chocolate and lighting a fire and watching that.  Everything is pretty quiet and calm by then.  I turn out the lights and leave on the Christmas Tree lights.  When I get a little tired I lay down on the couch and the music is so soothing.  The voice of the commentator often causes me to drift off to sleep, but I try to stay awake. I enjoy this more than going out in the cold midnight hour to go to the church.  (I usually go to an earlier children's Mass on Christmas Eve and then we have our family celebration.)

I am a "cradle Catholic" and want say welcome to you.  I don't know when you converted, or if you too were a "cradle Catholic" but lost your way for a while.  I just celebrate that you have embraced Catholicism and Christianity.   After watching a lot of Christian television (while still attending Mass) and going through some personal changes about 15 years ago, I was "born again"  in my heart and began taking my faith more seriously.  The Mass is a wonderful way to worship and celebrate our relationship with God.  It is totally fantastic that you have been given this gift personally from God!  It demonstrates that He believes in us even when we don't believe in Him.

Have a Merry and blessed Christmas!

Be ready at a moment's notice to leave your house by having Holiday Emergency Luggage packed.  When he rings the doorbell or knocks, meet him at the door with kids and all.  Tell him that it's great he showed up just then -- he can house-sit for you.  You have to make his surprise visiting not worth it for him -- even if it means you spending the night in a hotel (Just make it a good one with a pool for the kids and lots of Xmas decorations, etc., and consider it a present to yourselves.)  However, if he gets the hang of notifying you in advance, really lay out the red carpet for him.

Another way is to write him ahead of time and tell him you're going out of town.  Without your house as a destination, he'll have to pick on someone else.

If he starts in on you about child rearing, short circuit that by asking when he's going to have children to try his theories on, and ride him about that until he gets the message.  Or ask him when and where he got his degree in child rearing.  Put him on the defensive.  Your kids are getting As and Bs, so you're obviously doing a good job.  Lousy parenting shows up very quickly at school.  Have confidence in your parenting skills.

If he starts in about going to church, drop him off at one, preferably one not his denomination.  Either that, or say you've been converted to some obscure (or fictitious) religion, begin chanting at random and insist that he does it, too, or it will fill the house with negative energy.  The kids will love helping with that, particularly if they don't care for his child rearing advice.  You've got a lot of room to get creative here.

I understand and sympathize with your dreading the holidays because of him.  Knowing you are going to be disrespected inspires dread in anyone.  He doesn't have any power over you.  You're taking your own power away from yourself because you haven't come up with a plan of action to respond to his rudeness.  Not being able to act makes you feel helpless.  Take your power back by giving yourself permission to respond in kind.  If someone disrespects you, you don't owe them respect, and it's up to them to earn it back.

You sound like a very kindhearted person (of which there are far too few on this earth), but too much kindness and politeness can disable you when you're giving it to someone who doesn't deserve it.  Remember, also, it's not just you against him, you've got your husband and children to back you up, and with a little cooperation and planning, you all can have a good time giving him his comeuppance.  If he has a good sense of humor, since he no doubt considers his unannounced visits a pretty good joke, then he ought to take his medicine with a laugh.  If he doesn't, then nuts to him.  This really is his problem and not yours, but you're going to have to work on him a bit, so gird your loins.

Best wishes.  I hope I have helped you out a bit.

I'm watching this episode as I write this

Yes something did happen beginning w/ how Joyce's husband has rubbed what she did 27 yrs ago in her face.  She didnt like a gift Rick gave her then so she took it back.  Ever since, he wont buy her a gift.

Problem I have is that Dr Phil was scolding Joyce for being a scrooge but didnt convince Rick that he had any role in ruining Xmas.  Instead, Dr Phil blames Joyce 100%.  Rick gets into the spirit by putting up a tree, decorations, etc but refuses to buy her a gift based on what happened in the '70s.  Joyce was doing her best to put on a happy face when the family is over but apparently that's not good enough for them.  She needs to have credit due to trying to make the best of it rather than being chastized for not caring for it.  On top of that, its clear that Rick forces it on her instead of letting her come back in the spirit of Xmas at her pace.  I believe if you want someone to like something or someone, you are to let them come to terms at their pace.  If you try to make them like it when they're not ready, it'll only hinder progress.

At the beginning of the show, Dr Phil set the tone that not getting into Xmas is taboo.  We've had it rammed down our throat w/ the massive commercialism we're bombarded w/ for several months out of the year to the point that its pushing Halloween out of the spotlight.  When I was growing up, the Xmas fiasco didnt start until near T-Giving and we didnt have 5 months of bills.  He, like others, needs to accept that the commercialism, extremely slow music, and decorating isnt for everyone and it doesnt make us scrooges or black sheep.

You're preaching to the choir.  I dont understand the taboo either.  Xmas is about gifts and meeting w/ the family along w/ the stress involved.  I think families should get together whether its a holiday or not.  As for the giftmas "holiday", not too many celebrate the reason for the season.  It would be nice if others would be more accepting of others who arent into it instead of calling us names and making false assumptions.  I didnt have a pivital moment to where I hated Giftmas but grew slowly to not care for it.

I continue to watch this Dr Phil episode and I swear someone's inhabiting his body.  His opinions are very different than what I'm used to.  His insight is not as deep as usual and he's missing so much of what the "scrooges" are trying to communicate.