Topic : 12/14 Extreme Lives

I did not feel sorry for Tammy at all!!! They were both equally bad and don't represent the couples in truly abusive relationships where a woman is genuinely afraid for her own or her children's lives and desperately needs help. This woman is just as bad as her husband. Come one, he tells her to do a threesome so he wouldn't cheat on her? And she agrees to it and blames it on him? No woman in the right mind would even consider something like this just to save her so-called marriage.

 

I applauded Dr. Phil when he went on about how much these two needed a divorce. People like that shouldn't be married at all, they are obviously both immature to be in an adult relationship. Good for Dr. Phil to straighten them out! Poor kids, having to live in a mess like that and watch these two idiots every day. The only people in the situation I feel sorry for are the innocent kids.

       They are both to blame.  they both are acting like kids. what an example they are showing to the kids.  But he should not even taken that pan and threw it at her.  They both should call it quits.

Tammy could you please explain further? 

 

How can all the control on your husband's part continue without it happening in front of the kids...and the without the kids knowing....I don't get that.....kids are perceptive and all knowing.  Most especially when there's an imbalance of power in the family. 

 

And if he, your husband treats you in that manner .... how is it .....that it doesn't carry over to the kids.....does he suddenly become "father of the year?"  I don't see how.

 

There's a big difference between normal family issues in America.....and your issues ...in your family.....after all the title of the show was "Living Extreme Lives."

 

This control and abuse is NOT a normal family issue.....its an issue of dysfunction and is Domestic Abuse and Violence.......you say the violence was 15 years ago......then are you saying his cycle doesn't include physical violence and abuse any longer......but all the rest of the dynamics of ABUSE ARE IN PLACE.

 

To me this is a huge deal breaker...............and abusers rarely go to....continue going......or do their WORK in any counseling.......so why bother..........he wasn't even admitting to any of this in front of Phil................I heard husband  minimize, deny, justify, and blame you. 

 

And dear Tammy.......your conduct was less than that of self-respect and  wasn't immaginable to me......where was your dignity....were you so beaten down emotionally that you were not listening  to your own value system rather than that of your husband...a 3some...were you under severe battered women's syndrome?    Where was the rational in any of this?   Was your life threatened by the fear of him, then.   What? 

 

Why did you make a choice to please an abuser and have and participate in a 3some......I will never understand......unless there were severe circumstances that prompted you to "just survive" by going along.   And the affairs......why?  

 

How did your husband's abuse and control over you and your family change....as you say?

 

What was normal before October?

 

What happened in October?

 

Did things take a change for the worse then because to him.....you were no longer participating in his antics, tactics, games and abuse along with him.???  Perhaps you decided to change and he then used to the latter.........upped his ante?   Please if at all possible please explain all this......as  what you're saying here does not jive with the show.

 

Are you minimizing you life with this man, now.  Are you minimizing the stuff that goes on?  What?  I don't get it !

 

The good Doc...........suggests that you either DIVORCE IMMEDIATELY.........or the counseling....which he knows better than to have you guys in joint counseling sessions at this point.........so what is it that he saw that we are not privy to........by your post here.

 

Your post here confuses me.

 

Please come back and explain and post further.

 

Haven't you posted to the abuse message board in the past?

 

 

Lots of questions on my part.

 

PS........how are things going now.

 

Not to negate your children's accomplishments in school and on the extracurricular level.....they are doing wonderfully there in those departments.........however, be careful what you use for a barometer for measurement............many a child......is an honor roll student......and active in sports, theater, music, art..student govt. ..all the extras and yet................while being the ones least expected  from outward appearance ,of problems...........are the ones into drugs.....drinking, alcohol, before the legal age.....sex.......bullying and the like.

 

I hope and trust that your children are not........but beware..........the doc seemed to be most concerned for the children.......and well he should be.......however, then again.....maybe that was the only way to reach your husband..........as nothing else did.

 

I write this out of concern and wanting further understanding.

 

 

If things have been peachy keen and all of the problems were in the past then why did you discuss it on the show. It seems a bit disingenuous to go on the show and then say, "oh those things are not a problem."

 

To that end, don't for a minute think your kids don't know that your marriage is an unhealthy one.  You may think that because they are on honor roll that things are fine for them but it isn't. If you are having affairs, sleeping in another room and going on Dr. Phil then they are not living in a healthy loving home. Many children that grow up in homes such as yours excel at everything they do because that is the only thing they can control.

 

 

I was totally surprised about what a warm and friendly person Sharon seems to be. I too struggle with eating no matter what the occasion. It was so neat to hear someone else articulate what I go through every day. I wake up thinking of food and go to bed picturing what I could have to eat the next day. her candor and honesty was very refreshing!

I love Sharon Osborne. She could have been a whole show by herself.

 

What in the world were you thinking when you booked Dan and Tammy. It was a waste of my time to watch the show. I sat there because I could not believe this ws a DR. PHIL show.

 

The producer of that part of the show need to be sent to the corner.

 

What a let down, after S H A R O N........

I think that without good therapy, if this couple does divorce (and they are way overdue for a split) they will up with partners like these again. Two words came to mind as I listened to them: "victim" and "drama". The drama and 'poor-me' syndrome seems to be the energy that keeps this wretched couple together. This couple would probably sit in their house while it was on fire and call  the Fire Dept to ask what to do.  

I was moved by this couple. It is a shame when the kids are affected. I think she should have chose option "A". I am sure there is SOMEONE out there that would treat her with more respect and love her like she has never been loved. A pot of spaghetti? I think that is a disgraceful and cowardly way to treat you wife. I am sure if she looks around she will be able to find a good man. 

 

 

 

Joey MD

 First of all I do and haved loved Tammy for years!!!! I can not help that the show has chosen to air a one sided story. Tammy sat on that stage and everything that was said was either a complete lie or a half truth and I was so taken back by this that I didn't even know where to begin to answer these accusations! For example the spagghetti story ... there was a whole lot more to that story than Dr. Phil aired! In that insodent Tammy had made diner for the family and when she was finished serving it to our children and herself she was not going to let me eat..She proceeded to the trash can to throw it away and I stood between her and the trash can begging her not to throw it away because I was hungry.. At this point she raised the pot of spagghetti over my head and said to me if I dont get the f*** out of her way that she was going to dump it over my head and this is when I simply reached up above my head and flipped the pot the other way! I suppose that Dr. Phil and the public would tell me to just stand there and let her dump it on me? Next: I NEVER told her that if we had threesomes that, That would be the only way that I would be faithfull! NEVER did I say this.. I have suggested that if she feels the need to cheat and have sex with other people that we do this together so that at least We are both there and know that it was no more than that and not dealing with the other person falling in love behind the other persons back! As I stated on the show I will NEVER let this be an option again.. If she can not be faithfull than I don't need her! Furthermore She has perticipated in other threesomes outside of our marriage without me so I guess I forced her to do that to?.. I was not there four years ago when You and Tammy made up a Yahoo I.D. looking for threesomes was I? Dr. Phil told me that I just need to "get over" her affair with you four years ago but what I never had the chance to tell him was that Tammy did not appologize for her affair with you until this November, 2006! Instead she has tortured me with comments like " I do Not feel guilty", "I feel no remorse", and I am not sorry for it you deserved it and if given the chance, I would do it all over again!  So Dr. Phil... how am I supposed to just get over it when these are the things she had to say about her affair with this man that posted this comment? He goes by Joey but his real first name is John and plays football for a football league and the team he plays for ... well their name is the Packers! so check out his screen name here and compair then tell me why I should be OVER IT when these two are obviously still keeping in touch? I was told by Tammy that if I said one bad word about her on your show that our marriage was over. So I bit my tounge and sat there and let you and Tammy make me look horrable and tell lies and half truth's Just trying and hoping to save our marriage and hoping that you would help us with marriage counseling to help us out. I even made sure not to tell the show and the whole country the truth about the things she has said and done so she wouldn't look bad. Now I am paying for it!