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Topic : 12/15 Children of Addicts

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Created on : Friday, December 08, 2006, 02:44:03 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Robin and Dr. Phil both grew up in unstable family environments due to an alcoholic parent. In her new book, Inside My Heart, Robin explains the choices she made to become the best woman, wife and mother she could be, and the circumstance behind those choices. See how her biggest struggle helped her make a choice about the type of man she would marry. Then, Jill says her husband, James, used to be adored as the mayor of their community, but now he’s the town drunk, an embarrassment to the family and the neighborhood. She says he’s a horrible influence to their 15-year-old son, Robert, and is spending their life savings on booze. James has been sober for six weeks since being arrested and ordered to wear an ankle bracelet that will detect alcohol in his system. He thinks he must know why he drinks in order to stop drinking for good. Dr. Phil and Robin have an important message for Robert, who has only recently seen his father sober. Next, a daughter’s words send her famous father into rehab. Known as the voice of the NFL, Pat Summerall has a message to anyone who struggles with alcoholism. Join the discussion.

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January 9, 2007, 5:04 am CST

12/15 Children of Addicts

Quote From: carkey06

A daughter of an alcoholic may never recover even after she has been away, on her own and with her own children.   My mother was sick but I did not know that until I was 32.  I am now 37 and still struggle.  If you have ever read the book "Mommie Dearest" that was me.  Atleast the beatings.  It is my fault she was and still is sick.  It is my fault my dad walked away and to this day can not have a face to face conversation with me because I look like her.  My mother beat me so bad that the doctors think I was in a severe car accident and eventually I will loose muscal control diapers and a wheel chair will be my calling.  I fight it every day that it is my fault but really have no facts to support this.  She grew up in Germany with the camps and her step father was very mean.  But I just couldn't get things right the first time.  My father left me there when I was 12 and to this day still with throw me away like a piece of old trash.  I found God when I was 28 and my husband  I have all the support you could ever ask for so why is it my fault.   My husband says that my thinking is a lot like Dr. Phil and at times I sound like him.   I take his advise and do a lot of prayer but maybe Dr. phil and God can help me.  Depression is a daiy struggle and why people stay around me I still don't know.  My husband says God uses me to help others through what I have been through but if that was true I would not feel so alone.  i guess this is just the price you pay for being born.

It may seem you are alone because as a child you was actually alone with yourself becaues of the abusers?  you are not alone though, I understand what you are saying.  We become wise to many things because of abuse?  It's like 'street smarts'.

My Mother did not hit or beat but the emotional abuse and neglect caused alot of the feelings I get between your lines, I had for a long time and still a little bit.  either way they treat you like a burden to thier life as if your a growth on thier nose?  They are the bad guys, not you.  I am glad you have the positive space left to share and help what and when you can.  your husband is right!  the price of being born is to start aging, with that so many things can happen, we got so unlucky to get the addicted parents but it could be worse?  Good thing we don't have to stay living with them after we grow up?  Now if we convince our mind of that?

 

I deliberately searched out your post, thank you for sharing!

 
January 16, 2007, 1:12 pm CST

DEAR DAD

TO ALL WHO STRUGGLE WITH THIS DISEASE, OR KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS. I LOST THE MOST WONDERFUL PERSON IN THE WORLD TO THIS DISEASE. STILL DEALING WITH THE LOSS OF HIM, I DECIDED TO WRITE A LETTER TO HIM, WHEN I THINK OF HIM ,ON THIS WEBSITE. 

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/adult-children-addicted-alcoholic-parents/100580-dear-dad.html

 
March 18, 2007, 8:06 am CDT

update on wife of alcoholic

I first wanted to say thanks for the feedback from my previous post(back a few months ago).  Things were ok (yet again) for a short time.  I finished my course in getting my certificate for a nursing assistant and will be taking my state test on April 19.  Big defeat for me and couldn't believe I made it through.  Towards the end of my class, my father in law, whom I was very very close to, passed away.  That was a really tough time, but his words to me prior gave me the strength and will power to continue on with my schooling and to make the best of myself.  My husband was very close to his father, but my husband didn't listen to a word his father said to him.  His drinking has begun to get worse again and I have told him he needs to move out of our home.  I will be speaking with an attorney to get a legal seperation, because he will not leave willingly.  I have refused to continue living this way.  Just yesterday I came home and he was drunk and making wild accusations that I was cheating on him and how his father told him that I was when he was alive and sooo on.  I had no response to him, because this is simply not true and I refuse to become weak again.  I have had alot of support from friends and family with my decisions and will continue to push forward with my life.  My children are doing well and we will begin therapy this week with our pastor.  I'm living now to make my kids future better and my own.  I will not live in his shadow anymore.  I know the road ahead will be long and rough, but I know we can get through this.  Thanks for all the support I've received and I will keep in touch with my progress
 
April 30, 2007, 5:58 am CDT

children of alcoholics

I was a daughter of an alcoholic father until he died when I was 10 - and that was the best thing that has happened in my life so far.  Sounds cruel but when you have been verbally abused and told you are worthless and watched your mother being beat up all over the house you say things like that.  Actually I would 35 years after his death say I HATE my father - no love whatsoever.  I could never love someone who mistreated my mother so badly - what he did to me and my mother will probably never  be known but he affected the rest of my life I feel - and as it is what I feel I also feel I will hate him till I die.  People never think about their dependants when they drink - and after they drink they often abuse - my Dad ALWAYS abused drunk or sober - many nights I was outside the back door of scottish pubs being looked after by barmaids.  Men are mostly abusive pigs - the word I wished to use would be censored but sure people understand- people who suffer from this disease please get help!

 

De-de

 
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