Topic : 12/15 Children of Addicts

  Children of addicts internalize everything and take it as a personal failure when their parents can't stop.  A lot of times, THEY have to be the parent and take responsibility, which is a lot to ask of a child of ANY age.  They're robbed of childhood and it forms a pattern for who they become later on.  They will never get that back, and they have a huge hill to climb to over come it.

But they can overcome the feelings of abandonment and break the pattern.  They can say "I will try with all my being not to slipslope into becoming my parents for the sake of MY children, if not for me".  It isn't an easy thing to do, and their's a lot of genetics involved with how likely you are to have an addictive personality. 

But if you look back after you've raised your children in the best environment you know how, you'll have self satisfaction in knowing that you did something not only for your children, but for your great grandchildren, and you've left your imprint and you had a positive impact for other people down the line.

In this show I felt that the approach of  Dr. Phi and Robin was more focused on the reasonings of children of alcoholics who suffered great pain. Whereas their focus appeared more on the 15 year old son and of course the alcoholic father, makes sense....but I didn't feel that the mother received the attention in this disfunctional situation as she should have.  Normally a good mother has a lifelong dedication to the structure and survival of her family, but when she is hit with something like this, there is not enough time for her to express her pain and her misguided direction, because she is thrown so far off her course.  I imagine one could feel so empty and useless.  She may have made the choice to stay in the marriage, perhaps because she is too afraid to leave.  The guilt I imagine is really really great, because we mothers take on this responsibilty of making everything go right and when it goes so wrong, there is an incredible sense of guilt and failure.  I just wish I could have seen where her efforts and/or intentions acknowleged and help for her in all this as well as her son and her husband.

Believe me there is nothing you can't get through. I have been through about everything. From being molested as a child, being raped as a teenager and having a child from it. To also having 4 men that my mom married who where alcoholics. Luckily the last one stopped drinking. I have seen my mom being abused and been through many other things. You name it and I have been through it. My husband was also an alcoholic he passed away in 1991. We never recieved toys for christmas or birthdays. Always hand me down clothes. There isn't much I havent been through.

To this day I still don't have money I live on a fix income. I can't work because of my health but I am greatfull to the Lord for what I do have. I now have all kinds of problems with my health. I have a severe back injury, Multiple Sclerosis and fibromyalgia. I am in pain 24/7. I am scared ever year that medicaid might say I make to much. They say I can live off of 630 a month and stop me from getting medicaid. What can I do though? Accept what life throws me and go on thats what I can do and also ask God to help me get through it.

I learned to forgive everyone for what was done to me. As for my what happen in my life and my health thats just life. I decided years ago I can either let it eat me up inside or get over it and go on with life. So thats what I did. Sure I have some mighty bad days but I believe there are a lot more people out there that has it worse than I do so I am not going to feel sorry for my self. I am told I have a great since of humor. Hopefull one day everyone who is out there that is holding onto that anger can try an forgive and they can start enjoying life to the fullest and one day have a great since of humor like I do.

Don't hold it in. The anger will eat you up inside and its not doing you or anyone around you any good to stay that way. Please let it go and start trying to enjoy life. If you don't your still letting what ever or who ever it is control your life. You don't want that.

I know it hard believe me, if anyone should know how hard life is I do. Yes, it is bad what people do to other people but we can get over it if we try. There will be good days and bad ones thats life. Enjoy what life you have left, its alot more fun if you do. Laughter is the best medicine I try to do a lot of it. May God bless you all with a better life for the coming years.