I hope you are doing ok today. It sure does seem that once a woman looks at porn with a guy, it immediately implies she is going to want to look at it all the time....but that is not the case is it? I think a lot of women look at it not because they really need to but they don't want to look prudish and insecure, at least that was my experience with my husband. But something changes within that relationship when porn is incorporated, especially if the loving isn't satisfying. I think porn has a strong hold on some guys in particular and over the years it has become more of a way of life for them then a once in a while cheap thrill.
I think a lot of women understand that porns draw is something that a lot of men fall into but the problems start arising when these same men want sexual intimacy with a woman and also want to look at porn and lust over strangers too. Most men will hide it because they know it offends the women but they keep doing it because they are obviously hooked on it. Anytime someone says "they can give it up but don't want to" you need to know, as the women, why is it that they don't want to give it up and then make the best decision as to whether that reason is acceptable. Guys enter relationships and sex much more casually and it doesn't have the same meaning for some of them. To some men, and especially those that look at porn a lot, are much more promiscious and careless sexually. Porn gives them ideas and even if they don't act them out, they are thinking about acting them out, which in turn makes them less available to their women emotionally and sexually. It is a vicious cycle and the only one that can break it is the guy looking at the porn.
If he does not see his actions are causing problems within his life and marriage, then nothing the woman can do, short of buying a few books, setting up an appointment to get counselling, to telling him how it makes her feel, outside of that, the ball is his court. And the ball usually stays in the court until he loses his wife, family and respect of many people.
I am married to a man that has used porn for the whole duration of my marriage despite my discussions of leaving him, feeling like a failure as a sexual being in his eyes, to thinking he has some sexual perversions. If they don't tell us why they need porn, we have only one choice, make up a reason ourselves.!!! Not good because we are usually never right.
I think it really stinks that men are so shallow and inconsiderate when it comes to this and if they want to be sexual fools all their lives, then it would just be so much better if they remained single or went with women that were also sexually promiscious and insatible. I don't know what else to say but it is really disconcerting when a man has a wife and a family that love him and need him and he is jacking off in some room to porn. Pathetic. don't you think?
