Message Boards

Topic : 01/03 Meet Your Match

Number of Replies: 277
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, December 28, 2006, 04:59:59 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Are you in search of Mr. or Miss Right? Internet dating is the number one way couples meet these days, and Match.com is leading the way with 15 million members. But is there a right way to do it? Meredith says while her friends have found "the one," all she's found is the hairiest one, the baldest one and the shortest one! Her friend, Lauren, says Meredith's just too darn picky. Will Meredith throw out her list of pet peeves and give men more of a chance? Then, Lynette has never tried online dating because she's scared of who might show up. With the help of Match.com, she learns to create a winning profile, and quickly racks up a list of interested men. See the surprise Dr. Phil has for her to ensure that she will actually meet some of these guys. And, Brett says he's tired of playing games and is ready to settle down. His perfect mate, chosen by Match.com, is sitting in the audience, but will he be able to pick her out of the crowd? Share your own online dating stories and talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More January 2007 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

January 2, 2007, 8:29 pm CST

A novel approach

Everyone is so obsessed with these .com match sites.  It is a real shame that praying for a mate is so passe'.  But if you do try that, God is  more than able to give you the "REAL" perfect mate.

I'm married 28 years and that is how I met my husband.  God answers prayers, even for a mate.

 

 

 
January 2, 2007, 8:47 pm CST

Here Here Sister

Quote From: wolverine

I've tried both Yahoo and EHarmony.  The only reason I tried EHarmony was because of their so-called Match profiles, and it was the biggest waste of money and one of the biggest mistakes. 

 

It boils down to one thing and one thing only, if you aren't a barbie, a size two you won't get a look, no matter how many of your compatibility points match.  Its very discouraging to be honest in creating a profile, and then to not even get a response or have matches closed without a chance because you aren't a certain body type or image type. 

 

For me I've given up....I'm only 40, I own my house, own a boat (I love the lake), have a great personality and make friends instantly.  I'm not picky, not high maintenance, but since I don't fit the "barbie" mold, I'm not worth looking at or getting to know.  I'll stay with my friends, and just leave it as "it wasn't in the cards" for me to find a soulmate. 

 

Unfortunately it is true, looks are everything and what's on the inside in reality, really doesn't matter. 

 

My advice to anyone thinking about joining an online dating service is DON'T!  At least in my case it was a big waste of money, I never got past the first stage with the so called matches, and you'd be better off burning your money or better yet, give to Charity.  That's what I did, I host an event for Starlite/Starbrite and its money better spent :)

 

 

I have been reading the different messages on this board, and I am finding that I have to agree with a little bit of everyone...lol I am divorced, not once, but twice "cringe" however I have to say that it is because I think enough of myself to not tolerate crap.  I am a single mother of an 8 year old girl who means the world to me.  I took a year to get our lives in order and get back on my feet to provide a stable home environment for her.  A few of my friends suggested I try a number of different online dating sites...sooooo I DID... this is the part where I agree with a number of different postings.  I agree with the fact that a large number of the men on the sites are simply looking for casual sex, even though they say they are looking for a long term relationship.  I also find that they are looking for the active, fit, slim, petite, outdoorsy, athletic woman yet haven't bothered to take a look in their own mirror.  You also find the ones that say that they like a full figured, curvy, girl next door kind of woman.   Then of course that isn't what they want either.

 

I have always been very up front about the fact that I am not petite, nor slim, and it isn't something that I feel I should hide.  Honesty goes a long way and if half the people...not only men but women as well....would find it in themselves to be honest you wouldn't have so many of them being so discouraged about online dating.

 

I have tried it for a year now and really haven't had any luck...yes I have chatted with a few men, and have met a few, but for some reason it never goes anywhere.  I haven't decided if I am ready to throw in the towel yet, but I too am getting discouraged.  So while I do know it works as I know people who have met and married from online relationships...it may just be, that it isn't for everyone.  So my advice...give it a whirl, be honest, and if it isn't for you at least you can mark it off the 100 things you want to try in your life...LOL

 
January 2, 2007, 9:42 pm CST

hey wat up

Quote From: ceildh1

From your picture, I don't imagine you do have trouble finding a date ( not a come on, I'm married, but it's just the truth ).

Unfortunately, and I've heard this from single men I work with, and my husband's single friends, it seems they are damned if they do and damned if they don't.  Many have said the same thing, if they're honest ( no smoking, no drinking, no kids ), women get really nasty about it, and as a woman, I get tired of hearing about Exes as well from both male and female friends.

And I have witnessed single women posting these nasty notes, I asked one, "why ?" her reply was, "how dare he state no kids, he's a child hater!" That's not necessarily true, but there are men who don't want to be a step parent just like there are women who don't, and there are people out there who "gasp" don't want children.

I do want you to know though, there are some of us out there who do appreciate honesty, don't give up on the whole gender, eighteen years ago I was happily single, not looking, and it fell in my lap, we aren't perfect by any means, but we are compatible in the ways that matter most.

But reading these posts makes me grateful that I am NOT single.

Good Luck to you.

i can relate to this story.  i've been lookin for ms. right for years now but no such luck.  I triedd the internet dating back in 03 and chatted and met some here and there from 03-06.  My last one was a disaster.  I recently moved (did live w/ friend) now can afford to live on own now bc of past cc bills.  Dont have internet now but wanting it again.  Im doing my main internet browsing at work now.  The bulk is my financial info... and emails bc chat is blocked at work.  Dont have the time to chat on computer at work anyway.  Leary of gettin internet at home again fearing ill meet another liar and /or cheater or manipulater. (which was my last one very bad one)  I still have bad dreams of my last gf and cant get over it for nothing of wat she did.  i work 330-1am more $$ at night so i choose to work at night for hospital.  When i meet people they dont mind that i work 6 days a week 5 of them being 2nd shift.  As time goes on they DONT like the idea and dump me and find someone else.   Its NOT like i didnt tell them at the first that i work eve hours.  The last one i dated i saw every day just bout m-f from 12n-3p b4 work and sat after 8pm after work and all day sunday.  BUT NOOOOOO i guess that wasnt good enuf.  OF course theres more to this last one that would take all night to type a bout and i dont have the kind of time.  But those above hrs is when i can see someone else  they act like its ok at first but therefore after they disapprove or something.. who knows.. Harrd to get out and about w/ working the hrs i do + dont have tons of money to spend only make around 21,xxx a yr.  any suggestions, etc...>wondering in IL ...Jason  p.s this is good job and im not leaving it so thats NOT a option to I finding someone....just to let u know...p.s.s.  --excellent  benefits at work too!!!
 
January 2, 2007, 9:54 pm CST

hello

Quote From: lovebug70

I have been reading the different messages on this board, and I am finding that I have to agree with a little bit of everyone...lol I am divorced, not once, but twice "cringe" however I have to say that it is because I think enough of myself to not tolerate crap.  I am a single mother of an 8 year old girl who means the world to me.  I took a year to get our lives in order and get back on my feet to provide a stable home environment for her.  A few of my friends suggested I try a number of different online dating sites...sooooo I DID... this is the part where I agree with a number of different postings.  I agree with the fact that a large number of the men on the sites are simply looking for casual sex, even though they say they are looking for a long term relationship.  I also find that they are looking for the active, fit, slim, petite, outdoorsy, athletic woman yet haven't bothered to take a look in their own mirror.  You also find the ones that say that they like a full figured, curvy, girl next door kind of woman.   Then of course that isn't what they want either.

 

I have always been very up front about the fact that I am not petite, nor slim, and it isn't something that I feel I should hide.  Honesty goes a long way and if half the people...not only men but women as well....would find it in themselves to be honest you wouldn't have so many of them being so discouraged about online dating.

 

I have tried it for a year now and really haven't had any luck...yes I have chatted with a few men, and have met a few, but for some reason it never goes anywhere.  I haven't decided if I am ready to throw in the towel yet, but I too am getting discouraged.  So while I do know it works as I know people who have met and married from online relationships...it may just be, that it isn't for everyone.  So my advice...give it a whirl, be honest, and if it isn't for you at least you can mark it off the 100 things you want to try in your life...LOL

i can relate to this story.  i've been lookin for ms. right for years now but no such luck.  I triedd the internet dating back in 03 and chatted and met some here and there from 03-06.  My last one was a disaster.  I recently moved (did live w/ friend) now can afford to live on own now bc of past cc bills.  Dont have internet now but wanting it again.  Im doing my main internet browsing at work now.  The bulk is my financial info... and emails bc chat is blocked at work.  Dont have the time to chat on computer at work anyway.  Leary of gettin internet at home again fearing ill meet another liar and /or cheater or manipulater. (which was my last one very bad one)  I still have bad dreams of my last gf and cant get over it for nothing of wat she did.  i work 330-1am more $$ at night so i choose to work at night for hospital.  When i meet people they dont mind that i work 6 days a week 5 of them being 2nd shift.  As time goes on they DONT like the idea and dump me and find someone else.   Its NOT like i didnt tell them at the first that i work eve hours.  The last one i dated i saw every day just bout m-f from 12n-3p b4 work and sat after 8pm after work and all day sunday.  BUT NOOOOOO i guess that wasnt good enuf.  OF course theres more to this last one that would take all night to type a bout and i dont have the kind of time.  But those above hrs is when i can see someone else  they act like its ok at first but therefore after they disapprove or something.. who knows.. Harrd to get out and about w/ working the hrs i do + dont have tons of money to spend only make around 21,xxx a yr.  any suggestions, etc...>wondering in IL ...Jason  p.s this is good job and im not leaving it so thats NOT a option to I finding someone....just to let u know...p.s.s.  --excellent  benefits at work too!!!
 
January 3, 2007, 6:05 am CST

OK to be alone

One thing many people don't realize is that it is OK to be alone.  In fact, it has its advantages.  I am happily married now (for 26 years second time around) but was single for 9 years in between my marriages.  I was never unhappy as a single person.  In fact, I found it harder to adjust to marriage than to be single.  You really get to know yourself and be independent.  I was a single parent during that entire time as well, put my self through college and got a great job - where I met my second husband.  Sometimes there are diamonds in your backyard.  You just have to be open to seeing them.  I admit, I kissed a lot of frogs before I found Prince Charming! 

 

I don't think I would ever go through an internet service to meet someone.  You loose all the nuances founs in face to face meetings.  You get your hopes up and then meet the person and it's all wrong.  None of the innate chemical things happen over the internet.  There is a book titled "Anatomy of Love" .  All single people should read it and then go looking.  Understanding how our bodies find mates without us even being aware of it is a good way to begin looking for someone.  But in many cases, the right one is right under our noses and we don't even realize it.  As I told my daughter, you don't need perfection, only potential.

 
January 3, 2007, 6:17 am CST

Meredith.

She rejected a guy she met because he was wearing a long-sleeve shirt in the Summer?!?!?!

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!!!!

No wonder your alone. You deserve to be alone.

 

G.

 
January 3, 2007, 6:25 am CST

Question...

Quote From: emtda575

      This book is geared to help women. I have read it and Doc Phil calls all men players. In the last 18 months I have meet more women players who were looking for that guy with a college degree and a big paycheck. There are just as many women out there looking for "SEX " as there are men.  I have been on Match.com for a little over a year with no luck. I send out emails, but dont get back any responses. When I tell a women I can take care of myself and that I am looking for a companion to do things with not just SEX. They think I am not telling them the truth. The respones I get back is "yea right ". I can cook and better then any of the women I have been with in any relationship and I am not talking about TV dinners.  I do my own lanudry and dont screw it either. I do my  own cleaning and wash my own dishes(no dishwasher in my house). The women on these dating sites are looking for a fling as much as men are. If you are a women and you have a few extra pounds lose it or be single. If you lie to men about it you are only making the problem worse. Be honest and men will do the same. There are still some good men out there, you just have to look in the right places.
What is your screen name on Match.com?
 
January 3, 2007, 7:08 am CST

met my husband on-line when I wasn't looking

I met my husband on-line when I wasn't looking for one.  I was an English major and some of my friends from class and I decided that we would take a trip to England in one year's time, so I was trying to locate someone from the UK to ask about the best places to visit.  That's how I met my husband.  At the time, he lived 7,000 miles away (I lived in California), and I never thought we'd even meet, but as we grew closer, we just knew we were right for each other.  He took in my three children as his own and we have had three more children since then.  We both know we are soulmates.  We have only been married for 5 years, and yet it feels like we have known each other for a lifetime (in a good way). :)
 
January 3, 2007, 7:21 am CST

It's not all bad...

I've spent some time searching for "Mr Right" on internet dating sites.  I did subscribe to match.com for 6 months.  During that time I e-chatted with several men but only met one.  Although we did not make a "love connection" we are now great friends and actually hang out together.  We are both still searching for our perfect mate and actually bounce things off one another from time to time regardign potential matches.  He is a real person and did not falsify his information on line.  I also met a wonderful man through LavaLife and the only reason our relationship of 4 months -that would be live dating -- ended was due to my relocation to another city.  We still stay in touch by phone and email and once again he was a truthful man.  I am currently e-chatting with a man who I met on Plentyoffish.com and we anticipate meeting in the very near future.  He just had a minor surgery so we are going to wait until he is completely recovered. 

Yes, there are a lot of "duds" and 'untruths' out there but if you are realistic enough to see through those profiles and ignore the "come on" messages, I'm sure that you will have some sort of success.  The old fashioned way of actually meeting people in person is still considered the best but with our busy lives is becoming that much harder.

Good luck to everyone.  May 2007 be the year in which all your dreams come true!

 
January 3, 2007, 7:46 am CST

Where does Sam live?

I have been on Match for a few months and I have never seen anyone as good looking and tall as Sam...if he's on the east coast I think we could make a great match...
 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Next | Last