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Topic : 01/03 Meet Your Match

Number of Replies: 277
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Created on : Thursday, December 28, 2006, 04:59:59 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Are you in search of Mr. or Miss Right? Internet dating is the number one way couples meet these days, and Match.com is leading the way with 15 million members. But is there a right way to do it? Meredith says while her friends have found "the one," all she's found is the hairiest one, the baldest one and the shortest one! Her friend, Lauren, says Meredith's just too darn picky. Will Meredith throw out her list of pet peeves and give men more of a chance? Then, Lynette has never tried online dating because she's scared of who might show up. With the help of Match.com, she learns to create a winning profile, and quickly racks up a list of interested men. See the surprise Dr. Phil has for her to ensure that she will actually meet some of these guys. And, Brett says he's tired of playing games and is ready to settle down. His perfect mate, chosen by Match.com, is sitting in the audience, but will he be able to pick her out of the crowd? Share your own online dating stories and talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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January 3, 2007, 8:48 am CST

Proof that Match.com DOES work!

After one divorce, serial dating, and a few unhealthy relationships I finally got smart and realized that I needed time to focus on myself as an individual and to heal some emotional wounds imprinted from those unhealthy relationships....this also included making a career change requiring me to go back to college full time (and working full time) which took most of my time and energy.  So, I chose to take a 5-year dating/relationship hiatus (no men, no dates, no kissing, no intimate encounters of any kind!).  Upon graduating from college, I landed a one-year, post-grad internship in NYC!  I relocated there in June, joined Match in mid-July (with much skepticism....even though my younger brother had found his current girlfriend of almost 3 years on Match), went on a few dates with NYC men (and found those particular dates lacking....I've stepped in puddles deeper than those few men), so I broadened my search radius to emcompass the entire United States (hey, why place geographic restrictions when looking for that one special person who might be perfect for you!).  Three days later, I came across a profile picture which caused me to catch my breath....and then I read his profile....I sat there whispering to myself, "That's him!  That's the one!  I HAVE to meet him!".....so I sent him a 'wink', then a short msg introducing myself, that I found him to be attractive, and his profile interesting....Ted lived near Columbus, Ohio!

To make a long story short, we engaged in IM marathon chats (for 4-6 hours at a time!!) for two weeks, then I happened to be going to PA to visit my folks for a few days.  Ted and I decided it was time for a first date....we hadn't even spoken on the phone yet (neither of us are 'phone people'), so I called him two days before leaving for PA....the sound of his voice matched the one I had imagined in my head.  It took 4 hours to drive from my parents' house to his place, and as soon as Ted opened his front door, my only thought was, "Good Lord, I'm in trouble."  It was instant attraction for both of us!

That first date took place in August 2005....it's now January 2007 and our relationship just continues to grow deeper and stronger every day!  We committed ourselves to a long-distance relationship while I completed my internship in NYC (it's not for everyone...a lot of hard work, trust, and commitment...but those are things are required in any solid, healthy relationship), and then in June 2006, I relocated to the Columbus area so that Ted and I could continue to explore our relationship.  I secured a position in my career field, as well as an apartment just a few miles from Ted's house.  There have been issues to navigate our way though, and neither of us are 'perfect'....but we seem to keep being perfect for each other, and we've currently begun exploring the option of marriage.....

So, my message to skeptics, non-believers, and those who suffer from previously inflicted emotional relationship baggage.....Figure out what's important to you, who you are as an individual (as opposed to being made 'complete' by another), and realize that a person's personality and character (not just chemistry alone) is truly important.  You have to take a leap of faith and believe that not 'everyone' is a player, liar, cheater, or 'out to get you'.  Open yourself to the idea of possibility, and who knows what special treasure might be uncovered!
 
January 3, 2007, 9:11 am CST

01/03 Meet Your Match

Quote From: cydper

I've spent some time searching for "Mr Right" on internet dating sites.  I did subscribe to match.com for 6 months.  During that time I e-chatted with several men but only met one.  Although we did not make a "love connection" we are now great friends and actually hang out together.  We are both still searching for our perfect mate and actually bounce things off one another from time to time regardign potential matches.  He is a real person and did not falsify his information on line.  I also met a wonderful man through LavaLife and the only reason our relationship of 4 months -that would be live dating -- ended was due to my relocation to another city.  We still stay in touch by phone and email and once again he was a truthful man.  I am currently e-chatting with a man who I met on Plentyoffish.com and we anticipate meeting in the very near future.  He just had a minor surgery so we are going to wait until he is completely recovered. 

Yes, there are a lot of "duds" and 'untruths' out there but if you are realistic enough to see through those profiles and ignore the "come on" messages, I'm sure that you will have some sort of success.  The old fashioned way of actually meeting people in person is still considered the best but with our busy lives is becoming that much harder.

Good luck to everyone.  May 2007 be the year in which all your dreams come true!

Well, I did meet someone very special and had a great time with him. He actually moved in with me after 1 year.....everything was GREAT. He did have a drinking problem but we worked it out by him going to AA meetings. What hurt me the most is finding out that he had made reservations to go on vacation with his ex-wife who she recently re-married for the 5th time. He did all this behind my back.....he lied and cheated on me while he lived with me and I can't forgive and forget this....and what about her?????? Cheating on her new husband??????

I think there are a lot of men out there who are sincere and looking for the right person. I am not giving up yet, I am 48, divorced and too young to be alone......

 
January 3, 2007, 10:31 am CST

Meet YOur Match

I've subscribed 5 different dating websites and had no luck like most of you.  I would get offers but the guys were either scammers or creeps. One of the websites didn't put my picture up right away and I got all kinds of hits.  As soon as my picture was posted, I didn't get anything.  I've basicaly given up on finding Mr. Right.  I don't think he exists. 

 

PonyGirl

 
January 3, 2007, 11:23 am CST

SINGLE WOMEN BEWARE... PLEASE

Married 17 years to a great guy I met at an off-campus frat party AFTER I had graduated college. I still have unmarried friends whom I PRAY for everytime they plan on meeting someone they "met" on-line.

 

I post regularly to formums thru newspapers and I know that people can pretend to be ANYONE when they sit anonymously behind a keyboard. They lie about their eduations, their incomes, their likes, dislikes, their politics, their religions, etc.

 

SHOULD YOU DATE THRU THE INTERNET, please never meet that person face-to-face unless you have an arranged (safe) meeting elsewhere (NOT at your home). Don't give out your address, your phone number or any other information that could jeopardize your health and welfare. Ladies, especially, PLEASE don't be too trusting.

 

Consider the old-fashioned way of meeting a guy with similar morals, values and likes....church, synagogue, college, hobby groups, golf courses, etc. You stand a better chance on being safe and NOT being lied to............

 
January 3, 2007, 11:27 am CST

God brings great people into our lives

Quote From: howard0007

Everyone is so obsessed with these .com match sites.  It is a real shame that praying for a mate is so passe'.  But if you do try that, God is  more than able to give you the "REAL" perfect mate.

I'm married 28 years and that is how I met my husband.  God answers prayers, even for a mate.

 

 

The day AFTER I dumped a dud who made me feel bad about myself and treated me less than I deserved, I met my husband (now of 17 years). I had decided I was thru with men, thru with dating and that I would ENJOY being alone for awhile. That 'awhile" was one day!

 

Yes, I thank GOD every day that my Glenn entered my life. He was a devout Catholic, I was a devout Atheist (at that time), I smoked, he hated smoking, etc. The one thing we had in common were are family values...we BOTH didn't believe in divorce, we BOTH wanted children and to BOTH of us having a strong family (with extended family) was #1 in our books. It's so core values that brought us together and have kept us together. And now that we are on the same page about God, our relationship is near perfect.

 

Congrats on the 28 years. We'll be there some day, too!

 
January 3, 2007, 11:30 am CST

Age means Little

Quote From: wintterose

Ok Dr Phil how about giving some help to us mature ladies who have been on their own for 30 yrs or more like me?  I am 58, single, a little over weihgt but not bad looking I hope.  I really would like to find a man to share life  together.  Men my age are looking for small, trim, fit, younger etc.  I have tried broadening my search only to find men who want to be taken care of,don't need that,  angry men, men who just want a casual fling or bootie call, yes even at this age.  I have worked for many years, have my own home not paid for or a mansion but it's a home.  I would just like to meeta nice man who REALLY wants a relationship with a nice lady, me.  Match.com got a little expensive for me and the guys I met fit in the above category.  Are there any great guys out there my age or around there give or take a couple years who really want to have a relationship or am I just kidding myself? 

A friend of mine (in her 70's) hadn't been married or dated for TWENTY-FIVE years! She reluctantly joined a friend and went to a "Golden Gators" social at our Catholic parish and met  the man of her dreams (she WASN"T looking, but he was).

 

They have now been married 4 years, travel often and are deeply in love. Yes, there ARE older men out there just waiting for a great woman...you just need to travel in the right circles...circles where quality men lurk! Best of luck to you and God bless.

 
January 3, 2007, 11:34 am CST

found Mr. Right

I found my Mr. Right back in 1979, and we've been married for 25 years (26 on Valentine's Day). 

 

I found him at a dance class.  I had just ended a bad relationship, and I had decided that I wasn't going to look for a guy for awhile...just have some fun and enjoy things that I was interested in.

 

I went to a public dance class, and the teacher invited me to come to her semi-private class.  When I went, there he was, although, he had come with a friend, who I thought was his girlfirend.  I didn't want to come between them, so I danced with somebody else.  Then I left the class with this other guy, who turned out to be a handsy creep...I demanded that he take me back to the dance teacher's house.  It turned out that as soon as we left, the dance lessons stopped, and they started conspiring on how Mr. Right was going to ask me out...it seems that he fell in love at first sight...he is so sweet.

 

When he proposed, he got down on one knee.  When I got my engagement ring, he showed up in a Limo and took me to a really nice restaurant.  We have stayed committed through good times and bad, in a lot of sickness and in health...we are best friends. 

 

When you are looking for Mr. Right, find somebody that you love talking to...when the kids come and sex becomes less important, you will still love the talk.  Also, common interests are important...if you don't share the fun stuff, why be together?  We both love the outdoors, animals, art, building things together (mostly, I'm the moral support, and he does the work), and we love raising our three boys together.

 

After 25 years, we are still in love.

 

So, stop looking for Mr. Right, and start doing things that you enjoy doing...you might just find that guy among the things that you like to do, and then you will know that you share at least one common interest.  Also, don't be in a hurry to jump right into bed...lust should not be confused with true love.

 

Mr. Right and I spent our whole first date just talking...we were going to go bowling, but the lanes were all taken.  We made a reservation for a later time that night, but we never made it back there.

 
January 3, 2007, 11:47 am CST

01/03 Meet Your Match

I would not  find a man on the web! For one they can lie and put whatever on there page.  You can not find a good man on the web.  Thats how so many  girls get killed or missing or both!!!   So I would never look on the web for a man.   Also going to bars and clubs are  bad places to find men. All they are looking for there is sex. Thats all!!!  I would never look for men on the web,club or a bar!!  If you want to find a good christian man. they are wrong places to look!  Also  the best kind of man is a christian man. That puts Jesus first!!
 
January 3, 2007, 12:04 pm CST

Don't give up!

A friend of mine just got married. She's 63, overweight, not well off financially, has false teeth and wears a wig due to very thin hair! What she does have is a friendly personality and a willingness to get out and go places. She met her new husband while working at her part-time job. Any job where customers come through is an excellent way to meet people. Even if you have already have a job in an office or some other place where you don't meet people -- try a few evenings or weekends in a grocery, pharmacy or any store where men shop.
 
January 3, 2007, 12:30 pm CST

mr. perfect does not exist

First, to the Jesussis woman, or whatever, I am a Christian girl who has gone out with more than one christian guy (not at the same time) that I met over the web.  Some of us don't have time to meet guys the old fashioned way anymore, and it has become a useful tool in our society if used correctly.

 

that said, who does Meredith think she is?  The old "push them away before they hurt me" thing is so cliche.  It all comes down to her thinking she deserves the perfect guy when a.) there is no such thing and b.) she is not exactly perfect herself.  One of my good guy friends (really cute, too) was watching this with me and said, "I would never give her the time of day b/c she is so superficial" -- it is a very ugly quality and does not make her look too bright, either.

 

just had to get all that out.

 
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