Message Boards

Topic : 01/04 "What I Want This Year!"

Number of Replies: 158
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Thursday, December 28, 2006, 05:01:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil’s guests are going about their New Year’s resolutions the wrong way! They each resolve to change something about their partner. Luca says it’s time his wife, Karen, started losing her baby weight now that two whole months have passed since she gave birth to their son. Karen says she just had her third cesarean section and Luca should cut her some slack! Then, Elena says her husband, Wade, has been holding onto his loud, stinky beast for far too long and 2007 is the year he needs to “send it to the factory.” Wade says he’s just an “old country boy” and there’s no way he’s getting rid of his favorite sidekick. Next, Britney says her sorority sister, Sharnetta, is chronically late everywhere she goes and has even started making Britney late! What is behind her punctuality problem, and will Sharnetta be able to get to the airport in time to be on the show? Plus, tune in for a chocoholic who can’t lick her habit, and a marriage proposal ultimatum. Join the discussion, tell us what you want this year!

Find out what happened on the show.

More January 2007 Show Boards.

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

January 4, 2007, 10:24 pm CST

Light hearted and Funny?

Quote From: ilovemyluca

I just wanted to reply to all the women who are totally bashing my husband.... I love him. He is not a bad guy! He loves me and our children very much. He was only trying to motivate me to go back to the gym.. he only jokes with me and I joke back. That is the kind of relationship we have. I just want all of you to understand that. i am not angry or hurt and he does not bash me. and as for the women who think he is arrogant, he really isn't.. although I must say he is really an attractive man.. I love him very much, he keeps me laughing all the time. so please stop leaving nasty comments... the show was supposed to be lighthearted and funny... ok... thank you!

 

Karen

Karen, if you really feel that your husband's way of being "light hearted and funny" is productive for you, then why did you waste Dr. Phil's time? How do you "joke back" with him? Tease him because he can't change a diaper or handle taking three children to day care?  If you had heard the audience reaction you would realize that your husband's humor is not appropriate. If you can't see that the folks on this website are just expressing what you can't see or hear, then I feel sorry for you. Some may be "bashing" your husband but they feel that they are just trying to get you to wake up to reality!  His way of trying to get you to lose weight is not the way most women would react positively too, and you said yourself, you're "not ready", so how is his behavior "working for you?"  Let Dr. Phil have people on his show that really want help and really want to wake up see reality and deal with it, you do not. Good luck to you and your children.
 
January 4, 2007, 10:52 pm CST

01/04 "What I Want This Year!"

Quote From: ilovemyluca

I just wanted to reply to all the women who are totally bashing my husband.... I love him. He is not a bad guy! He loves me and our children very much. He was only trying to motivate me to go back to the gym.. he only jokes with me and I joke back. That is the kind of relationship we have. I just want all of you to understand that. i am not angry or hurt and he does not bash me. and as for the women who think he is arrogant, he really isn't.. although I must say he is really an attractive man.. I love him very much, he keeps me laughing all the time. so please stop leaving nasty comments... the show was supposed to be lighthearted and funny... ok... thank you!

 

Karen

 Let me get this straight...he started pushing you to lose weight the *very day* you gave birth instead of telling you to rest up and take it esay, he made remarks about your ass being big enough to show a movie on, he draws mocking caricatures of you while portraying himself as a stud and repeatedly crows about how good he looks...and yet you say he 'does not bash me' and that he's not arrogant?! Honey, please!

I'm stunned that you find poster's comments on his questionable behaviour 'nasty' yet his ill-concealed put-downs are chalked off as jokes.
 
January 4, 2007, 11:19 pm CST

The beastly truck....I so hear ya!

So sitting out in the yard is my 12 year old Astro van, she is wonderful!  She smell's a bit funky now but hey she's getting up there in years and she's been through 4 boys!  Come on, the paint isnt all that hot anymore and she's got a few dents too.....she has 195 THOUSAND miles and still gets me where I need to go!
Nothing will make me give up my van!  Nope nothing!  Not my kids, not my dog (who, by the way loves to ride in the van) not even my HUSBAND would be able to convince me to give her up!
Theres this thing....history, time, comfort...I dont know what exactly but she's mine and will be mine until the day she just cant go anymore!
Dont like the truck?  Dont ride in the truck!  If you want a truck you can both ride in at the same time then talk and see how you can make that happen...
I say leave the truck and let him deal with it as he see's fit.  Ok gotta go thank my girl for being so good to us :o)

Denise
 
January 5, 2007, 4:42 am CST

Different Situations

Quote From: pjmcfox

Dr Phil I think you missed obvious cues on this one. She got lost going to the airport. She said part of why she is late is she is checking to make sure she didn't forget something, and so on.

You implied that studies have shown someone who is chronically late is highly egotistical and self centered.

 As a person who had a head injury and several followup surgeries that resulted in a combination of bad short term memory, problems with being easily distracted from what I planned on doing or thinking by just a sound, not being able to judge the passage of time or distance,  I have had to live with the fact that I just  have to do the best I can and work with what I have. So much of what she said and such should have suggested that she get some memory testing, etc because that could be the root of her problem.

A head trauma, or other cause of such problems of functioning are just as real as when a person has to be in a wheel chair. The difference is others can see the chair, and not expect the person to jump up and run up the stairs. I doubt you would have given the same answer if you understood the problem.  At least I hope that, since you are a Dr...that should understand something about invisible disabling conditions.

I do my best to get around my problems and get places when Im supposed to, but I also have learned two things. One is that I cannot explain it to everyone I meet, and second that if I accept other people taking my condition personally, after I explain that it has nothing to do with them,  and beat myself up everytime I forget something or am late then Im no good for anyone including myself.  I keep working on the solution and if someone can't accept that then they are not worth being a friend.

So long and the short Dr Phil.... I think you missed it on this one, and I feel badly for the lady you talked to on the show. She sounded like she didn't like the way she'd become.

Pat

The injuries you sustained are a very different set of problems.  There are medical reasons for habitual tardiness, but Dr. Phil was addressing the everyday problem with someone with no record of medical factors being involved.  The lady on the show may have some regrets over her behavior, but they did not come across as sincere.  She seemed to think the whole thing was a joke.  I have had people like that in my life.  I knew each of them well enough to know there was no medical factor involved.  After putting up with it for so long, I gradually cut them out of my life.  I have enough headaches without worrying about common consideration.  Had one of them had a medical reason, I would have handled it differently.  I am very sure Dr.Phil would have dealt with his guest in another manner had there been another factor in play.

 

One last point please.  The disabling conditions that are not apparent are always a source of concern.  I understand that many are unfairly ridiculed and treated as if they are faking it to get attention.  I suppose what I also trying to say here is that if you were a friend of mine, and I was aware of the condition, it would not be an issue for me.  I would plan around it.  I thank you though for speaking up about those in your or similar conditions. 

 
January 5, 2007, 4:46 am CST

Glad to Hear It

Quote From: ilovemyluca

I just wanted to reply to all the women who are totally bashing my husband.... I love him. He is not a bad guy! He loves me and our children very much. He was only trying to motivate me to go back to the gym.. he only jokes with me and I joke back. That is the kind of relationship we have. I just want all of you to understand that. i am not angry or hurt and he does not bash me. and as for the women who think he is arrogant, he really isn't.. although I must say he is really an attractive man.. I love him very much, he keeps me laughing all the time. so please stop leaving nasty comments... the show was supposed to be lighthearted and funny... ok... thank you!

 

Karen

Thank you for letting us know that. I had the impression that was the case when I watched it.  It was, as you say, meant to be a light hearted show.  Forget about the critics and go on with what is obviously a happy marriage.  Best wishes.
 
January 5, 2007, 5:03 am CST

01/04 "What I Want This Year!"

Quote From: purplepenny

Well, this is a touchy topic for many women.  And you making apologies for his "jokes" only makes this type of behavior seem acceptable.

Maybe you should understand that there are women out there who have husbands who do this and aren't "joking" in the least.

And the segment didn't strike me as funny and here are a few reasons why:

  • "He picks up the underwear that I used to wear and cries over it."
  • " 'Its not always funny to you, is it? he asks Karen.  Not always,' Karen says. "
  • The fact that he thinks you should drag 3 kids to the gym
I see your point, but I also feel this entire program was intended to be light hearted.  From the responses I've seen, it seems Dr. Phil might want to another program addressing this topic from a more serious viewpoint.  In this instance though, if she can look at it without loosing her overall love for her husband, I say good for them.  One thing I know for certain is that I am a male and have, obviously, never dealt with this.  So, I will now shut my big mouth. 
 
January 5, 2007, 5:09 am CST

I did want help

Quote From: youngones

Karen, if you really feel that your husband's way of being "light hearted and funny" is productive for you, then why did you waste Dr. Phil's time? How do you "joke back" with him? Tease him because he can't change a diaper or handle taking three children to day care?  If you had heard the audience reaction you would realize that your husband's humor is not appropriate. If you can't see that the folks on this website are just expressing what you can't see or hear, then I feel sorry for you. Some may be "bashing" your husband but they feel that they are just trying to get you to wake up to reality!  His way of trying to get you to lose weight is not the way most women would react positively too, and you said yourself, you're "not ready", so how is his behavior "working for you?"  Let Dr. Phil have people on his show that really want help and really want to wake up see reality and deal with it, you do not. Good luck to you and your children.

I just want to reply one more time to you ladies....  I went on the show for a reason, and that was to make my husband understand that I was not ready to lose the weight just yet, I just want to enjoy my baby while I can and get back to normal.. and I accomplished just that. He doesn't want me to lose the weight for him, he wants me to do it for myself. I just want to remind all of you about editing..... even though you saw the show and the things you took from it remember about the power of editing!!

 

Anyway, thanks for all of you trying to help me, it does make me feel good that you all think I look great!! so thanks for that:)

 
January 5, 2007, 6:40 am CST

LUCA, LUCA, LUCA.....

....It's a real shame that you have such a "terrible" problem with your wife's weight.  She is beautiful!  I thank the Lord for my husband, and appreciate him a hundred fold more after watching you on the show.  When we married 14 years ago, I weighed 130 pounds.  I am now 180, and horribly misfigured due to several abdominal surgeries.  My husband has never failed to tell me how beautiful I am to him.  I am the one who is embarrassed by my appearance.  I am sooooo lucky to have him in my life.  Count your blessings and stop being so shallow.
 
January 5, 2007, 6:41 am CST

Reality Check

Quote From: nextdrphil

If you didn't want help then why did you go on the Dr. Phil show? If you didn't think it was a problem then why did you ask for help? And if you were so concerned about how people might judge your husband then why did you allow him to be put on national television to be judged by everyone?
First, let me say this is not directed at you.  It does seem that if a person's story isn't heart wrenching enough, we don't want to hear it.  Would people all be happier if the situation was worse than it is?  The show was not intended to be dramatic.  It was as advertised.  The fact that it took a lighter approach to a real problem is not an issue to me.  The people on the show have been thoroughly screened by Dr. Phil and his staff.  He felt it was appropriate for his show.  Why are so many bashing this woman for being on it?  She didn't get there solely by her own decision.  If people really have a problem with this, they should criticize Dr. Phil and his staff for deciding to have this program on the air.  Where this couple is concerned, I say good for them. 
 
January 5, 2007, 9:12 am CST

01/04 "What I Want This Year!"

Quote From: flrat69

I see your point, but I also feel this entire program was intended to be light hearted.  From the responses I've seen, it seems Dr. Phil might want to another program addressing this topic from a more serious viewpoint.  In this instance though, if she can look at it without loosing her overall love for her husband, I say good for them.  One thing I know for certain is that I am a male and have, obviously, never dealt with this.  So, I will now shut my big mouth. 
I know what you are saying....I think it was a bad choice for Dr Phil and his staff to choose this topic for a light hearted episode.  His main viewers are women. SAHM's...women who have had babies and who are in charge of raising them.  I have never dealt with this, as in after I had my daughter my husband was LITERALLY happy that I was alive and would never hound me about the weight I gained from her.

It's very good of you to recognize that, as a male, it is something you haven't and can't deal with or know. I used to think "Hey, having a baby is natural! What are all the complaints about?"...then I got pregnant, got ill, nearly died and had about 5 other serious issues after she was born...it's a huge sacrifice for many women and your body doesn't feel "normal" for at least a year after wards....depending on how luck you are.

I certainly wouldn't want them to divorce or something, but if he really thinks she should have to drag 3 kids to the gym everyday just to lose weight then he's an ass and it's HIS problem, not hers.  LOL...I have ONE kid and getting her dressed so I can go get the mail sometimes is a pain in the butt!!! LOL
 
First | Prev | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Next | Last