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Topic : 01/04 "What I Want This Year!"

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Created on : Thursday, December 28, 2006, 05:01:18 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil’s guests are going about their New Year’s resolutions the wrong way! They each resolve to change something about their partner. Luca says it’s time his wife, Karen, started losing her baby weight now that two whole months have passed since she gave birth to their son. Karen says she just had her third cesarean section and Luca should cut her some slack! Then, Elena says her husband, Wade, has been holding onto his loud, stinky beast for far too long and 2007 is the year he needs to “send it to the factory.” Wade says he’s just an “old country boy” and there’s no way he’s getting rid of his favorite sidekick. Next, Britney says her sorority sister, Sharnetta, is chronically late everywhere she goes and has even started making Britney late! What is behind her punctuality problem, and will Sharnetta be able to get to the airport in time to be on the show? Plus, tune in for a chocoholic who can’t lick her habit, and a marriage proposal ultimatum. Join the discussion, tell us what you want this year!

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January 5, 2007, 9:13 am CST

01/04 "What I Want This Year!"

Quote From: flrat69

First, let me say this is not directed at you.  It does seem that if a person's story isn't heart wrenching enough, we don't want to hear it.  Would people all be happier if the situation was worse than it is?  The show was not intended to be dramatic.  It was as advertised.  The fact that it took a lighter approach to a real problem is not an issue to me.  The people on the show have been thoroughly screened by Dr. Phil and his staff.  He felt it was appropriate for his show.  Why are so many bashing this woman for being on it?  She didn't get there solely by her own decision.  If people really have a problem with this, they should criticize Dr. Phil and his staff for deciding to have this program on the air.  Where this couple is concerned, I say good for them. 
Yeah, but she later got on this board claiming that he is just joking and it doesn't bother her...what a waste of everyone's time...her time, Dr. Phil's time, the views time....it's just a dumb waste...someone else could have been on the show.
 
January 5, 2007, 10:29 am CST

Chocolate lady

I can't believe a $1000 every 2 months for chocolate!!  I wish I had that much money.

 

I think that lady could make a fortune with a catering business.  Since she loves to cook, she could start cooking healthy dinners and desserts. Tasting healthy food is much less fattening  than tasting sweets.  Tasting the food is essential for every good cook, to be sure that the food tastes just right before serving it to others...just as long as she doesn't lick her fingers!!

 

Just reducing the sweets will make her pounds melt away.  I hope the professional help will encourage her toward catering to replace cooking sweets.

 
January 5, 2007, 11:48 am CST

How about what SHE wants?

I had a hysterectomy a little over a year ago. It took me at least 10 weeks to recover from the surgery.  Slowly I began to exercise and get back into shape. I do say slowly.
It's so disheartening to hear Luca wanting his wife to get back into pre-pregnacy condition so quickly. It makes me wonder. Is he in so perfect condition? Can he stand to lose a few pounds or more, or firm up and tone up his body???

She just had a baby and is a new mom. Get with the program and buy her flowers!!!!

 
January 5, 2007, 1:06 pm CST

So she is leaving him??

I was disappointed that Sherry is really going to leave Ricky because he won't ask her to marry him by Feb 1. My husband and I were watching this together and my husband was bothered that Dr. Phil didn't stick up for Ricky more. Ricky clearly said that he doesn't want to be married until they have been together 4-5 years. Well they have been together 2, so that leaves 2-3 years until he is ready for marriage and less time until he asks her to marry him. Ricky also said he was in school and finishes in March 2008, and that he would closer to ready then. That is only a little more then a year away! We just wish Dr. Phil would have stuck to those points a little more.

 

 My husband asked me to marry him on our 3 1/2 year anniversary. Our friends just got engaged, they have been together 5 years. Our other close friends have been together for 7 years and not even engaged yet. I think Sherry needs to chill and realize that Ricky loves her and just having the same last name RIGHT NOW should not be the most important thing to her, but rather that she has found someone who does love her and wants to be with her, but just wants to wait a little longer. Sherry if you are reading this I think you should stay with Ricky, chill on the wedding stuff, give him a chance to focus on finishing school and let him ask you when the time is right. Nearly everyone I know, that is married, waited until they were both out of school to introduce the huge obligation of planning a wedding on top of their already hectic schedules. Don't get me wrong, I know people who are in school get married all the time, but if one of the two people really wants to focus on school, then no one, especially his or her significant other should battle that or force the issue.

 

Also... Just a tip.... Sherry you probably have freaked him out by having the whole wedding planned already. I found that when I was laying down heavy hints and wedding plans before my husband asked me to marry him, he was so much more reluctant and resistant. Once I chilled out on all of that I found myself engaged and really planning my wedding. Oh, and most of what I planned SO early on... didn't actually end up happening once it was really time to plan and execute the event. :O)

 
January 5, 2007, 1:20 pm CST

Kind of agree...

Quote From: foreverpraisin

I have been in Sheri's shoes.  You need to move on hon. 

My high school sweetheart went into the Army and then showed up at my door 4yrs later.  He was staying with his mother in the town where we grew up but having a hard time finding work.  I was living about 45min south in a much bigger city.  I agreed to let him move in with me so that he would have better luck finding a job.  In the meantime, we lived like a married couple.

 

Not long after he moved in things changed.  He worked less, kept contacting an old girlfriend in Germany as well as doing special favors for the college girls that came into his place of business.  I pressed for engagement and marriage. 

 

Two years after we started living together we were married... and life didn't get any better.  We tried.  Actually, I tried.  We had two children and he again started screwing around with other women.  After seven years, we divorced. (he's been married 4 times now).

 

I came to the conclusion a couple of months after the divorce that I was more in love with the idea of being married than actually being in love.  I wanted someone that would love me for the rest of my life.  Problem was, we never were truly in love and today my kids suffer for their parents mistake.

 

Don't force a relationship when only one of you wants it.  Move on.  Find someone who will love you for you.  And DON'T let him have ALL of you before you marry.  Don't be his mom and his lover...  he'll never have a reason to want to marry if he has all the conveniences beforehand.  (I went through that, too).

 

God bless you.

I am sorry to hear your situation did not work out in the end. You sound like you were very committed to make it work and loving him.

 

As for your advice to Sherry.... At the end of you message you said,

 

 " Don't force a relationship when only one of you wants it.  Move on.  Find someone who will love you for you..." 

 

I think you may have misunderstood... Ricky loves her. He wants to be with her, he just doesn't want to get married until he finishes school. Give the guy a break. There is nothing wrong with that. He never once said he didn't love her or want to be with her. She isn't the only one who wants this, she is the only one who wants marriage immediately. I would nearly bet money that if she laid off of him,  and stopped bringing it up so much, they will be engaged shortly after he graduates school (March 2008), if not a little before that. Marriage is about compromise.... she isn't doing a very good job of showing her skills in this area especially if she leaves him after only two years, because she isn't getting exactly what she wants. I just wanted to defend him, because he does want to be with her. :O)

 
January 5, 2007, 1:30 pm CST

Agree with both comments

Quote From: lillskr

I don't think there's anything wrong with waiting til after college either.  The guy had an idea for when to get engaged.  He wasn't saying "We'll see if I want to get married" or anything.  If she can't wait, then she should do what she must.  But I agree with you on the way he was portrayed.

That 2 carat ring must cost a fortune. I don't even want to picture the price tag  ;D.

I totally agree with both of you! Ricky did not get enough support on this one. I guess it is up to us, huh??? :O)

 

By the way..... I have a .78 carat diamond on my ring; It costs my husband almost $4000. For him to get a carat (he considered it) would have cost him $10,000 (for the exact quality and clarity of my diamond, which good). I am not a jeweler, just going off of all that we learned from our jeweler. A 2 carat diamond would be close to $20,000. Price of a car.... on her finger.....hope she finds a guy now that she aired her 2 carat ring dreams and is single.  :O)

 
January 5, 2007, 3:44 pm CST

I think you are the most self centre witch ever!!

Quote From: genny2

   MY STEPSON IS 13 NOW , HE LOST HIS MOM 5 YEARS AGO. HIS GRANDMA IMMEDIATELY TRIED PUTTING HIM ON PROZAC WITH OUT HIS DADS PERMISSION,  WHICH MADE HIM HYPER AND WHEN YOU DON'T ALLOW A KID TO GO OUTSIDE HYPER IS A BAD THING!!!! AND HIS MOM WOULD NOT ALLOW HIS DAD ACCESS TO HIS SON FOR 7 YEARS AND THEN  WHEN SHE DISCOVERS THAT SHE HAS STAGE 3 OVARIAN CANCER SHE DECIDES TO ALLOW HIM TO COME DOWN FOR A WEEK  WHILE SHE WENT IN FOR A BIOPSY. THE WHOLE TIME NOT TELLING HIM WHAT WAS GOING ON.  AS FOR LIVING WITH HIS AUNT SHE ENCOURAGES LYING ,REFUSES TO HOLD HIM ACCOUTABLE FOR HIS ACTIONS AND HAS ALLOWED HIM TO DRIVE A WEDGE BETWEEN HER & HER HUSBAND.AND YES THE AUNT IS HIS MOMS SISTER. AS FOR COUNSELING WE HAVE GONE THROUGH 7 COUNSELORS WE DON'T HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE SO WE HAVE TO RELY ON THE FREE COUNSELING CLINIC AT THE UNIVERSITY (UCF) THIS KID TAKES EVERY HEALING TOOL THAT HE IS GIVEN AND USES IT AS A WEAPON USUALLY AGAINST ME, HIS TEACHERS, OR HIS 3 YEAR OLD SISTER, AND SOMETIMES THE DOG. YOU CAN'T FORCE THERAPY, BUT YOU CAN'T PARENT WITH GUILT EITHER!!!!
I think you need to cut your step son some slack you have obviously never been in the situation where you lost someone so close my 2 year old son lost his dad 6 months ago and I dont think he may ever get over it. I dont see what your stepsons father ever saw in you. I think he should divorce your ass and see you for the true witch you are you dont deserve this family.
 
January 5, 2007, 6:06 pm CST

I totally agree with you here...

Quote From: serenity83

I think you need to cut your step son some slack you have obviously never been in the situation where you lost someone so close my 2 year old son lost his dad 6 months ago and I dont think he may ever get over it. I dont see what your stepsons father ever saw in you. I think he should divorce your ass and see you for the true witch you are you dont deserve this family.

and your title for your responce. Is this woman for real? How dare she treat a child like that. Maybe the mother (before she passed) had discussed it with the child father what was going on and felt that at this childs young age at the time wasnt able to completely understand death and that it WAS between the biological father and mother to make arrangements,(people can do that, does she know that). I know for a fact that if EVER put in that place I would WANT to talk with the childs father about it so I can make sure that the child is taken care of properly. And maybe she wanted him to get to know his father more then the past and at the time was thinking of his future.

 

Either way I AGREE wholeheartedly that this child dont know how to express his greif, let alone had time to greive for his mothers loss, it takes time for the loss of a loved one to greive in their own way, some may take days,weeks, months, even years to get over and understand the who's, what's, and why's of it all. (from what I have read he was 8 years of age when his mother died). He might not know even how to act in dads house, or he might get the blame for his mothers death and he might think that is why he was sent to live with his father(I havent been this situation, but if you have children of your own you sometimes begin to think on their level in some way you know)

 

IMHO, this new wife is upset that his son might want his fathers attention and has many questions about his way of greiving, getting to know his father all over again, or taking away her time with her husband, and she might be resentfull that this "new" person is invading in on her "personal space". Either way I see its selfish on her part, and she dont want his own child to be apart of her new life and may see the step son as a burden on her. She should get some major counseling herself and deal with HER issues instead of her step sons.

 

I also am sorry for the loss of your 2 year old sons dad. And hope one day he will understand of his passing and hope you will allow him to have time to greive in his own way and ask questions about his father he will understand when the time comes. I wish you and your son the best.

 
January 5, 2007, 7:09 pm CST

Lady, get real

Quote From: genny2

   MY STEPSON IS 13 NOW , HE LOST HIS MOM 5 YEARS AGO. HIS GRANDMA IMMEDIATELY TRIED PUTTING HIM ON PROZAC WITH OUT HIS DADS PERMISSION,  WHICH MADE HIM HYPER AND WHEN YOU DON'T ALLOW A KID TO GO OUTSIDE HYPER IS A BAD THING!!!! AND HIS MOM WOULD NOT ALLOW HIS DAD ACCESS TO HIS SON FOR 7 YEARS AND THEN  WHEN SHE DISCOVERS THAT SHE HAS STAGE 3 OVARIAN CANCER SHE DECIDES TO ALLOW HIM TO COME DOWN FOR A WEEK  WHILE SHE WENT IN FOR A BIOPSY. THE WHOLE TIME NOT TELLING HIM WHAT WAS GOING ON.  AS FOR LIVING WITH HIS AUNT SHE ENCOURAGES LYING ,REFUSES TO HOLD HIM ACCOUTABLE FOR HIS ACTIONS AND HAS ALLOWED HIM TO DRIVE A WEDGE BETWEEN HER & HER HUSBAND.AND YES THE AUNT IS HIS MOMS SISTER. AS FOR COUNSELING WE HAVE GONE THROUGH 7 COUNSELORS WE DON'T HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE SO WE HAVE TO RELY ON THE FREE COUNSELING CLINIC AT THE UNIVERSITY (UCF) THIS KID TAKES EVERY HEALING TOOL THAT HE IS GIVEN AND USES IT AS A WEAPON USUALLY AGAINST ME, HIS TEACHERS, OR HIS 3 YEAR OLD SISTER, AND SOMETIMES THE DOG. YOU CAN'T FORCE THERAPY, BUT YOU CAN'T PARENT WITH GUILT EITHER!!!!

I can't believe that you would be so heartless with this boy.  It takes years to regain a normal life after the death of a parent...life will never be the same again for him.

 

The boy needs a stable environment and to know that he is loved.  Keep going to the counselor...counseling is NOT an INSTANT cure...it takes years to learn to cope...this boy needs you NOW...you are now the only mom he has, and you need to step up to the role.  You need to start showing this boy that you love him...you do, don't you??  The counselor cannot simply "fix" him...the whole family needs to be fixed with him...heal together.

 

Try getting involved in the youth program at your church...or 4H, or Scouts...something where he has a chance to be with other kids his age...a time to be away from the turmoil in your home.

 

You need to get over the fact that the mom died and left you holding the kid...13 is a difficult age as it is...so many changes with the body and mind...this boy has enough on his plate already.  Get over the resentment, and start being this boy's mom!!

 

You need to be involved in every aspect of this boy's life...keep up on whether he is on time with his homework...whether he is able to concentrate in school...whether he is getting along with his peers...what he is doing after school and in the evenings.  If he is acting out, then he is having feelings that he just doesn't know what to do with.  It is your job to help him through these difficult years and grow up to be a man. 

 
January 5, 2007, 8:10 pm CST

01/04 "What I Want This Year!"

Wow to the husband who expects his wife to be stick thin after a whole (insert sarcasm) two months after having a c-section!! You are supposed to wait until your 6 week check-up for your doctor to clear you for exercise and even then, slow is the word here. I am a vetran c-section mom as I have had four of them. 

As for the family so concerned with the truck ... oh my goodness! We have entered snobsville! I despise attitudes like those of the wife and the kids. There are many, many people who have no vehicle who would be thrilled with the truck you are embarrassed to have in your driveway.

 
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